


Invictus

by bluerozes



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Disaster Harry Potter, Bisexual Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy is a Good Friend, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gay Draco Malfoy, Gryffindor/Slytherin Inter-House Relationships, Homophobia, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Multiple Perspectives, Mutual Pining, My First AO3 Post, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Recreational Drug Use, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:14:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 23
Words: 116,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27408646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluerozes/pseuds/bluerozes
Summary: Jarum Crange is a pureblood who wanted nothing more than to make her mother proud and to prove herself to everyone. After transferring to Hogwarts during third year, and meeting the most infuriating girl she's ever met, her plans change over the years. And she must figure out how to stay safe from her family's cruel intentions.Love was pretty much the last thing on Hermione Granger's mind, until she met her. Now she must navigate through the rigors of pureblood culture while fighting to stay alive.Draco can't tell the difference between love and hate when it comes to Harry Potter.Harry can never keep his eyes off Draco Malfoy.This is my first work ever so please give it a shot, lol I suck at descriptions.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Original Female Character(s), Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley, Marcus Flint/Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 76
Kudos: 125





	1. The Girl on The Train

**Author's Note:**

> Background: Hey guys so this is my first time l writing an actual story that hasn’t been for my English class. I wanted to give story writing a try because reading and writing has been my source of comfort for years. Anyways, this idea came to me one day and I'm kind of just going to run with it. So the plot is similar to cannon and I’m not exactly sure what changes are going to be made yet, but yes the 2nd Wizarding War is taking place. Jarum Crange is an original character of mine who I will be projecting a lot on in an unhealthy amount(lol). The Crange family was a family of four, the father is dead, that is a part of the Sacred 28, and much like the Malfoys they are rich and serve Voldemort. The mom, Jilda, is a death eater and the sister, Jaia wants to become one. The story begins third year and Jarum has been homeschooled up until then. Jarum has brown skin with light brown eyes (we need more poc in the Harry Potter world), and long curly hair that stops midway down her back. She has a scar on the right side of her face that starts below her eye and ends at her jawline, caused by a childhood punishment, but we’ll get into that later. Yes, some of the chapters will be named after songs because I'm trash. Okay I'll stop my yapping and get on with the story. One last thing, please comment, be patient and give constructive criticism always!

The Girl on the Train

 _Out of the night that covers me_  
_Black as the pit from pole to pole_  
_I thank whatever gods_  
_For my unconquerable soul_  
_-William Ernest Henley “Invictus_ ”

Jarum Jaida Crange stared at the platform from the window of the train, where she watched happy families bid their goodbyes to one another. She clenched her jaw in jealousy, seeing as her mother basically shoved her on the train without so much as a farewell. Jarum was one of the only people on the train and she closed her eyes as she realized how lonely she was going to be at a huge school where she knew no one. Her sister was five years older and demanded that Jarum be homeschooled her first two years so that they would not cross paths at Hogwarts. However, unlike most people, Jarum was content, happy even, with loneliness. She’d been lonely her whole life.

Other than her sister, before she turned into a raging bitch, Jarum had never really had any friends. She was kept isolated by her mother, almost as if she was ashamed of her(she most likely was). In order to survive or fit in with her family, Jarum had to develop a cruel, manipulative personality. But deep down, in a part of her she kept locked away, Jarum just wanted love. Whether it was platonic or romantic she didn’t care, she just wanted someone to care about her, not that she’d ever admit that out loud.

Jarum’s moping was interrupted by the door to the compartment she was in opening and she was met with three strangers. A boy with platinum blonde hair, a boy with brown skin like hers, and a girl with hair that stopped just below her shoulders. Her eyes lingered on the girl a bit too long before she shook her head slightly.

 _Mother said it’s wrong to think things like that stop it_ she thought to herself.

The boy with platinum hair sat next to her and stuck out his hand, “You must be Jarum Crange, my father told me to keep an eye out for you. I’m Draco Malfoy and this is Blaise Zabnini and Pansy Parkinson.”

Of course. How could she forget what Draco Malfoy looked like. Her mom babbled on and on about how great the Malfoy’s were and how beneficial a friendship between her and Draco would be.

Jarum shook his outstretched hand, “Nice to meet you. I think i’ve heard my mum mention you once or twice”. Or a thousand times.

Draco smirked and gestured for the other two to sit down. Jarum briefly raised her brow in confusion. Maybe it was because she had rarely been around other kids her whole life, but she was puzzled as to why Draco was ordering people who were supposed to be his friends around.

“So Jarum”, the girl called Pansy began, “What house do you think you’ll be sorted into?”

Despite the fact that Jarum literally did not know how friendships worked or what the proper way to interact with people her age, she still knew how to be charming, because of her pureblood upbringing.

She flashed the girl a lopsided smile, “Slytherin of course, I would probably drown myself if I was sorted into any other house.” Draco smirked while Blaise and Pansy gave genuine smiles. While knew she had the characteristics of a true Slytherin, she didn’t really see the big deal with house sorting, it wasn’t going to matter once they turned eighteen. However, Jarum was afraid of being sorted into any other house because she would most likely get disowned.

Before Jarum could continue speaking, Blaise asked a question no one with even the slightest amount of common sense should ask.

“So what happened to your face?”

Jarum’s nostrils flared, and she was three seconds away from reaching across the table to back hand the boy across the face, it would hurt way more than a regular slap because Jarum had several rings on.

Instead she answered, “Ask me a stupid question like that again and I’ll hex you until you can’t feel your balls yea?”

Draco’s smirk widened into a shit eating grin while Pansy looked at her in surprise and Blaise visibly gulped. The scar was a sore spot for her, the one flaw that tainted her otherwise attractive face. Also, the memories of how she got it and who gave it to her weren’t pleasant to remember either.

Before anyone could get another word out, the compartment door opened again and Jarum felt like the air had been removed from her lungs. There she saw one of the prettiest girls Jarum had ever seen in her life (not that Jarum had seen many girls in her life before). But Jarum shook her head and clenched her jaw trying to focus on literally anything else. If there was one lesson that her mother had taught her that really stuck with her, it’s that being with the same sex was just as bad being with a muggle and would mess up the carefully preserved bloodline that had been pureblood for generations. Jarum wanted to make her mother proud so she just always went along with the lesson and pushed away any thoughts of being with a girl.

Before she could start internally berating herself for finding the girl who had opened the door beautiful, Draco sneered, “Sorry but filthy mudbloods aren’t allowed in this compartment, so keep moving Granger you’re making our new friend uncomfortable.”

Jarum studied the girl’s features as a brief look of hurt flashed across them at the use of the slur. The girl opened her mouth to retort, when a boy with red hair and a boy with glasses came up behind her.

“Come one Mione they aren’t worth it”, the boy with red hair said. He began to pull her away from their compartment. The boy with glasses glared at Draco and Draco glared right back. Jarum sensed a huge amount of tension between the two boys. The staring match went on way too long for what was considered normal until the boy with glasses eventually walked away.

“So uh who was that?”

“Potter and the blood traitor Weasly and their stupid mudblood girlfriend”, Draco replied. Jarum nodded her head, so that was the famous Harry Potter. He was unimpressive. Though, she was still confused as to why the two boys stared at each other for so long.

Finally the train began moving, and the pit in Jarum’s stomach seemed to increase by tenfold as she realized she was really going to the famous Hogwarts. She took a deep breath before she began overthinking every little situation on how she could possibly disappoint her mother too much.

“Did you hear Sirius Black escaped from prison?” Pansy asked the table.

“I heard he’s going to kill Potter” Blaise informed.

“Good, then he’ll finally be reunited with his mummy”, Draco said without missing a beat.

Jarum couldn’t help the snort of laughter that came out of her mouth. Maybe she could be friends with these people. They were pure bloods like her, something her mom would approve of, and they were kind of funny. Soon after the quartet fell into an easy conversation about their families and their shared experiences being raised in the pureblood culture. Jarum learned that Draco was terribly mean, and had a dark sense of humor and Jarum liked him for it. She learned that Pansy has a sharp tongue and Blaise was easy to get along with despite his slip up earlier.

About halfway to Hogwarts the train was stopped. Draco got up to stick his head out the compartment.

“No way, you guys gotta come see this.”

Jarum, Pansy, and Blaise all got up to see what Draco was talking about. All three of their eyes widened.

“Is that a-“

“Dementor.” Jarum finished. She’d read about dementors several times but she’d never actually seen one and she was currently wondering why there was one aboard the Hogwarts Express. There was commotion from a compartment a ways down from them until a man in shabby clothing cast a patronus charm that repelled the dementor. Everyone sat back down now that the excitement was gone.

“Just take away all the fun then,” Draco pouted.

“Draco you’re so dramatic,” Jarum commented and Draco smirked at her.

“Yea it’s one of my many redeeming qualities.”  
\----------------

The rest of the ride to Hogwarts was pretty uneventful, her and Draco fell asleep while Blaise and Pansy talked about something that was probably boring and unimportant.

Once they stepped off the train she was separated from her friends? Acquaintances? Jarum had no idea what to call them. Before long one of the professors had recognized Jarum and put her to be sorted with the first years. Jarum had to bite her tongue to prevent her from lashing out at the professor.

 _This is definitely one of the most embarrassing things ever, to be put with first years. Seriously. They obviously know who I am. My family isn’t exactly unknown. I mean why can’t they just sort me separately_ , Jarum thought.

Then the headmaster, the great Albus Dumbledore, stepped to the front of the Great Hall.

“Welcome! Welcome to another year at Hogwarts, now I’d like to say a few words before we all become too befuddled by the sorting and our excellent feast. First, I’m pleased to welcome professor R. J Lupin who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Good luck professor,” at that Dumbledore gestured to a man sitting at the teacher’s table, the same man that had used the Patronus Charm on the train.

 _'Oh this is just great’_ Jarum thought, _‘A teacher who looks like he doesn’t know what a shower is. Perfect.’_

Jarum was so busy looking around the room that she missed the next few parts of the headmaster’s speech. “At the request of the Ministry of Magic, Hogwarts will play host to the dementors of Azkaban”, Jarum’s head snapped towards Dumbledore, that definitely got her attention.

“Until such a time Sirius Black is captured, the dementors will be stationed at every entrance of the grounds. Now whilst I can be assured that dementors will not affect our day to day activities, I must warn you that dementors are very vicious creatures and you should not give them a reason to attack you.”

Jarum’s heart seemed to explode out of her chest, and her stomach lurched, despite being hungry earlier, she no longer felt like eating. The idea of dementors scared her as a child and now the old fear might be back after seeing one on the train. Now they were going to be all around the school. Jarum unfocused again as she felt her chest constrict and her vision cloud. She was snapped out of it again as her name was called.

The few students before her alphabetically had already been sorted and it was her turn. She walked on wobbly legs to the front of the room where the hat was. Jarum made a face and she wondered how long it had been since someone had washed that hat. Jarum actually took pride in how healthy she kept her hair and she did not want to catch lice because of some stupid unwashed hat.

Before the disgusting and probably lice infested hat was placed onto her head the headmaster spoke again, “Students this is Jarum Crange, she will begin her third year here and was previously homeschooled so please treat her with kindness.” Okay so maybe Jarum didn’t appreciate every single eye in the building on her. And she certainly didn’t appreciate the ‘homeschooled’ part. Being homeschooled was boring enough and the fact that he just announced it to the entire school made her seem like a loser. She already saw students whispering behind their hands about her. The name Crange was enough to make anyone start gossiping. Her family’s bloodline was notorious for producing death eaters and people who weren’t exactly in the running for sainthood. Not to mention the fact that they were extreme blood supremacists and filthy rich. And if Jarum was being honest, some of her relatives were batshit crazy. Jarum became subconscious of the jagged scar on her face once she saw several students staring at it intently. She glared at them and it took great strength to control her wild temper. Her eyes flitted around the room until it landed on the Gryffindor table.

There she saw the girl on the train who was looking at her with something Jarum didn’t recognize. The girl’s cheeks were also a pinkish color.

 _‘That’s weird, it's not exactly warm in here’_ Jarum thought. _‘But maybe she just got overheated easily or maybe she was nervous about the dementors too.’_

She couldn’t spend too much time dwelling over the look the girl was giving her because the dreadful hat was placed onto her well kept hair and she had difficulty restraining herself from gagging. The hat smelled disgusting and Jarum thought there was ninety percent chance she would get lice.

_Merlin I’m taking five showers just to wash my hair tonight._

The hat spent no more than five seconds on her head before it called out, “SLYTHERIN”.

The Slytherin table erupted in cheers and she saw Draco cheering loudly. Jarum allowed a small smile to grace her features. The other tables looked relieved that she wasn’t in their house and it honestly hurt just a little. Sure she was content with loneliness and never really needed friends, but the feeling of being unwanted was something Jarum was uncomfortably familiar with. She couldn’t help but wish her family was different. It was like she was already fighting for redemption without even doing anything. Like she already was already a criminal just because of her last name. However she swallowed the feelings of sadness as she walked over to the Slytherin table and was greeted enthusiastically. Even though Jarum knew they only treated her well because of status, except for maybe Draco, Pansy and Blaise, she was happy at least people wanted her around even if it meant they were using her or were afraid of her. Throughout her childhood her mom constantly beat into her head that she was a waste of space. That she was lucky to be born, that no one wanted her. Maybe she could find a sense of belonging at Hogwarts.

As she sat down she was greeted by Draco, “I knew you’d be sorted into the best house, this year is going to be a good one and we’ll probably win the House Cup and maybe the Quidditch Cup.”

“I don’t know about the House Cup Draco, it seems like they give Gryffindor points for breathing around here, and it’s probably even worse because Potter’s in that house”, Jarum replied

Draco frowned, “Now that you mention it, they do give that terrible house points for something as simple as remembering to flush the toilet, maybe we can still win the Quidditch Cup. Me and Blaise have been practicing all summer and my father buys us new brooms every year.”

Jarum suddenly remembered that she had been playing Quidditch since she was little, she hadn't even thought about joining the Quidditch team. “Draco when are tryouts for Quidditch?”

“Why do you want to be a cheerleader or something?” Jarum rolled her eyes.

“No you wanker I want to try out for the team, I play the beater position.” Draco rolled his eyes at her remark but didn't say anything back.

Pansy spoke up, “They don’t normally let girls on the team.”

“Well they’re going to let them play this year, or I will get my mother involved” Jarum replied, though she internally rolled her eyes at herself. She hated playing the big bad mother card, but around here it would most likely get her what she wanted.

Draco smirked at her before saying, “Okay fine by me but don’t come crying to me because you got knocked off your broom.”

Jarum snorted, “Yea okay Malfoy you probably cry to your daddy after you lose a game.”

Blaise let out a laugh and Draco glared at him before replying “Tryouts are Friday, Crange. I hope you’re as good as you think you are because now I have to convince Flint to let you join.”

Jarum smiled at him because at least he was going to try and convince the captain, that was better than nothing. Draco smiled back before turning to face the Gryffindor table, “Potter. Potter! Is it true you fainted, I mean you actually fainted!”

Jarum chuckled before the Weasley boy replied, “Shove off Malfoy”, and glared at Jarum for laughing. She looked past him and saw the girl from the train looking at her and Draco with disgust and Jarum smiled.

 _‘This is going to be fun’_  
\----------------------

Hermione Jean Granger was a smart girl, of course, she was top of her class her first two years at Hogwarts and she is the brains of her friend group. Nothing is ever too difficult for her to figure out, so she couldn’t for the life of her understand why her eyes kept making her way back to the girl she now knew as Jarum Crange and why every time she smiled that surprisingly charming, lopsided smile, her breath was caught in her throat.

After their brief exchange with Draco, Ron hadn’t shut up about her “I knew that’s why she looked familiar. Her sister graduated last year. Great this is just what we need another Crange to wreak havoc” Ron stopped to swallow his food, “And another thing she’s all chummy with Malfoy and his crew, bloody hell this a disaster waiting to happen.”

“Blimey Ron do you fancy her? You’ve been talking about her for the past five minutes.” Fred asked

“Yea we wouldn’t blame you if you did, she's easy on the eyes,” George remarked.

Hermione turned pink for what seemed the hundredth time that night. So it seems like she wasn’t the only one who had noticed how attractive the new girl was. Hermione had been speechless when she saw her on the train, which is why she couldn’t come back with a retort to Draco’s insult.

“What? No of course I don’t fancy her, I bet her and Draco will be a disgusting pureblood couple by the end of the term,” Ron exclaimed. Hermione frowned, that was probably true. Her and Draco did seem to get along, despite the short period of time in which they’ve known each other, and further observation would tell that Draco laughed at everything Jarum said as if she were the funniest person in the world. She looked at the Slytherin table and saw Draco, Pansy, and Blaise laughing hysterically while Jarum and talking animatedly and smiling.

‘Maybe she is funny and she seems naturally charming, I wonder what happened to her face though’ Hermione thought to herself.

Hermione then turned to one of her best friends, “oh shut it Ron and eat your food and stop talking while chewing it’s disgusting”.

Ron continued eating, unbothered by her chastising, while Hermione turned to Harry and bumped him. He snapped out of whatever stupor he was in and pulled his eyes away from the Slytherin table.

Maybe he’s curious about the Crange girl too, the Slytherin table does seem more lively because of her.

Hermione voiced her concern, “Harry are you all right, I mean I know you fainted on the train and I know Malfoy rubbing it in probably wasn’t the best feeling.”

“Hm? Yea I’m alright Mione, I think I’m just paranoid and tired, it's been a long day.”

“I know Harry, but we’ll be fine, hopefully the dementors do their job. But make sure you get some sleep tonight okay?” Hermione replied. Dinner was coming to an end and classes started tomorrow, and Hermione hurried off to the Gryffindor Tower so that she could get a good night sleep and be prepared for her early classes tomorrow morning. It frustrated her to no end that a certain Slytherin girl was the main subject of her dreams.

AN: So that is the first chapter, I hope you guys enjoyed it. I do not exactly know how long this story is going to be because it is a slow burn that includes multiple ships, and it is going to be from third year all the way to the end of seventh year. But Chapter 2 will be up soon, thank you for reading!


	2. A Stranger on the Stairs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jarum meets someone on the Grand Staircase late at night, her first day at Hogwarts, and Draco causes trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally re wrote this chapter from scratch like five times, but I hope you guys enjoy it! small tw for internalized homophobia at the end.

If there was one thing Jarum Crange was sure of, it’s that the nightmares that constantly plagued her mind would never really stop. Childhood trauma was enough to give anyone nightmares for lifetime and the added paranoia just made everything worse. Her paranoia was caused by the constant fear that her mother somehow knew the secret that was inside of her. The secret she wasn’t even sure was true yet. All of this led to the insomnia that had haunted Jarum for a few months now, it was why she was currently staring up at the ceiling of her dorm, just hours before she began her first day at Hogwarts. Everyone had gone to sleep hours ago and the castle was a deafening quiet. It was because of her insomnia and the lack of peace that she felt within herself, that made her get out of her bed, grab her wand and walk around the castle. Sure it was past curfew but Jarum was sure no one else would be awake. As she walked around the corridors of the castle, she trailed her fingers gently along the walls, as if trying to familiarize herself with the place. 

She came to the Grand Staircase and stopped when she saw the outline of another figure a few feet in front of her. At first she thought it was a ghost or even a dementor, but as the figure came closer, she muttered the spell, “ _ Lumos”,  _ and saw that it was neither a ghost, nor a dementor, but the girl she had become transfixed with, the girl she couldn’t take her eyes off in the Great Hall, just hours before. She opened her mouth to speak but the other girl beat her to it. 

“And what do you think you’re doing up?”

Jarum rolled her eyes because the girl seemed to be accusing her of something, like it was a crime to walk around the castle after curfew, “I could ask you the exact same question and if you must know I couldn’t sleep so I figured I’d familiarize myself with this castle.” 

The other girl stared at her, as if trying to detect a lie, not that she would be able to tell if Jarum was lying or not. She was a pretty good liar, it practically ran in her DNA. After a moment of awkward silence, the other girl sighed and sat down on the top of the stairs. She looked at Jarum expectantly and she sat down next to her. The muggle-born looked at her before saying, “I saw your face when Draco called me that awful word on the train, you looked almost regretful that he had called me that, why?” 

Jarum’s eyebrows creased in confusion. Merlin this girl just skipped all pleasantries and went right for the jugular didn’t she. Jarum’s natural smirk came onto her face, “One, why were you studying my face so intently,” the other girl’s cheeks flushed pink before she continued, “Two: is it normal Gryffindor behavior to psychoanalyze everyone that they meet for the first because I don’t even know your name, and three: it’s not a crime to dislike slurs used against others, regardless if I’m a pureblood or not.” Though she would never admit it out loud, Jarum never really got the whole blood purity thing, it’s not like how powerful someone would be was dependent on their blood status. 

The other girl looked at her before saying, “I’m Hermione Granger and I think that the look on your face was obvious, so no I wasn’t psycoanalzying you.” Jarum snorted because she was pretty sure that the look on her face when Draco had called Hermione a mudblood was neutral. When Jarum didn’t say anything Hermione spoke again, “So you’re just not going to introduce yourself?” 

“I don’t need to introduce myself, seeing as everyone knows who me and my family are and the fact that the Headmaster introduced me to the whole school”, Jarum said arrogantly. 

“And because of how notorious your family is, I doubt it was a shock that you were sorted into Slytherin,” Hermione replied without missing a beat. 

“Not all Slytherins are bad and some of my family is...nice sometimes,”Jarum weakly replied. 

“Right. Name one Slytherin who isn’t bad, I bet you can’t. Also, isn’t your mum a death eater, and doesn’t your sister want to become one and wasn’t your dad a death eater before he died. So your argument makes no sense, all Slytherins are bad and that includes you, regardless of how ‘good’ you think you are,” Hermione finished. At that Jarum got up quickly. ‘ _ So much for making friends’  _ she thought to herself. 

“You don’t even know me!” she practically shouted, before she remembered everyone was sleeping, “The fact that you’re judging me off of who my family is makes you no better than the people who call you slurs, I thought you would be smarter than that but I guess not, so to hell with you and everyone else who thinks that I’m a terrible person just because of who my family is.” Jarum stormed towards what she hoped was the direction of the Slytherin dorms. She didn’t look back at the girl she had just yelled at, if she did she would’ve seen Hermione’s expression filled with regret. But Jarum was also sure of another thing, she  _ hated _ Hermione Granger. 

As Jarum lay back in bed, she still couldn’t go to sleep, her insomnia wasn’t cured in the slightest. “Stupid Gryffindor”, she muttered before closing her eyes in a last ditch effort to sleep. 

\-----------------------

Draco Malfoy was not exactly the best at figuring out his feelings, he wanted Harry Potter’s attention on him all the time and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out why. But when it came to other people’s feelings, he was practically a master. He loved finding out what exactly made people tick, what made them happy, sad, angry, and everything in between, so he could set them off at any given moment. It’s like he was a puppet master when it came to other’s feelings, he could get under anyone’s skin. Which is why it was blindingly obvious that something was wrong with Jarum during breakfast. The girl had come into the Great Hall with a tired expression and had since then sat down next to Draco and had barely uttered a word. It was obvious that something was wrong because last night the other girl had been full of life and now it’s like the girl was autopilot, she didn’t even laugh when Draco had tripped a first year in Hufflepuff. 

Draco took a deep breath in before speaking, “What’s wrong with you Crange? You look like you died, came back to life and then got hit in the face with a stray bludger.” 

Jarum rolled her eyes, “Get off my back Malfoy I didn’t sleep well and not all of us are morning people.” 

Draco snorted, “Yea I can tell you didn’t get enough beauty sleep you look terrible.”

“Fucking ass,” she muttered. Draco opened his mouth to reply but closed it when he saw Harry, Granger, and Weasly walk through the doors at the Great Hall. Harry had laughed at something Weasly had said and Draco felt his heart rate increase and his palms began to sweat. It was a natural occurrence that had happened whenever he was around Harry. But Draco didn’t know why he had that reaction, because he wasn’t afraid of him. 

_ ‘Maybe it’s anger’ _ he thought,  _ ‘Yea it's definitely anger’.  _ Draco was too busy staring at the boy that he didn’t notice Jarum looking at him curiously. 

“You know it’s rude to stare Draco and I’m aware that you’re not exactly the nicest person, but still.” Draco ripped his gaze away from Harry and glared at Jarum. But he couldn’t come up with a retort and that frustrated him, he became even more frustrated when he saw Jarum’s face break out into a grin, as if she knew something he didn’t. However Draco did see her face fall when she saw Granger walk by their table, and he stored that information in his brain. That was definitely something he would be investigating later. 

The rest of breakfast was boring because Jarum was lost in her own thoughts and didn’t even engage in any conversation. Sure he had Blaise and Pansy to talk to but they got kind of boring after a while. Breakfast ended and the pair headed to their first class, Potions. The first thing Draco realized after walking in was that he shared this class with Harry and his friends. His brief feeling of excitement was short-lived when he heard Jarum take a sharp inhale of breath, as if she was angry, and roll her eyes at the sight of Granger entering the classroom. 

“What’s up with you and the mudblood”, he whispered as Snape began the lesson “You've been looking at her like you wanted to kill her since breakfast.” 

Jarum shot him a look and said “Well breakfast wasn’t really that long ago Draco, so you're over exaggerating how long I’ve been glaring at her,” Draco raised his eyebrow at her, “it’s nothing it’s just she said some messed up shit about my family, she’s a stuck up bitch.” 

Draco smiled at her, “Well that's Granger for you, she thinks she owns the world just because she runs around with Potter. You should’ve hexed her.” Their conversation halted as Snape passed by them, despite his bias towards Slytherins, neither one of them wanted to get hit on the head with a notebook, something they’ve seen him do multiple times throughout the lesson. 

The minute Snape was out of earshot Jarum said, “Yea, I know it’s fine just leave it. It’s only my first day and I don’t wanna get house points docked because of some stupid girl.” 

Draco muttered, “Suit yourself,” and the two focused on whatever Snape was teaching for the rest of the lesson. 

—————————

The next few lessons, Herbology and Transfiguration, passed by without incident. Unfortunately Jarum was still pouting over Granger and Draco’s irritation was nearly reaching its peak as they walked towards the forest where their Care of Magical Creatures lesson would be. 

“That’s it, come on now, come closer, less talking if you don’t mind,” Hagrid said, addressing everyone. “I got a real treat for you today, a great lesson!” He gestured to everyone to follow him to a clearing in the forest. 

As they were walking Draco grabbed Jarum’s shoulder to get her attention, “What is it with you, you’ve been moping all day and frankly I’m tired of it. If you seriously let a little mudblood get under your skin then you’re even weaker than I thought.” 

Jarum’s nostrils flared and she set her jaw, “Oh really Draco?  _ I’m  _ weak for letting someone get under my skin? That’s rich considering I’ve known you for a day and a half and all you do is complain about Potter 15 times an hour. Also I’m pretty sure if you and I were to physically fight, I’d make you go crying home to dear old daddy. And I have not been moping about some stupid muggle all day!” Draco looked at her before grinning, finally someone who could challenge him. 

“Well I’m sure you feel better, now that you’ve gotten all that out, come on you’re going to miss the lesson.” Jarum stared at him in shock, how could he get her all wound up only to smile and continue the conversation as if nothing happened. As she caught up with Draco she heard Hagrid instructing them to open their books. 

“And exactly how do we do that,” Draco snarked. 

“Well you stroke the spine of course.” Jarum and Draco looked at each other before they began to stroke the spines of their books. 

As they walked to the clearing where the rest of the class was at they overheard Granger say, “I think they’re funny.” 

Draco without missing a beat said, “Oh yea terribly funny, really witty. God this place has gone to the dogs. Wait until my father hears that Dumbledore’s got this oaf teaching class.” Jarum snickered at that. 

Harry walked forward while saying, “Shut up Malfoy.” 

Draco smirked at Jarum while taking off his bag and holding it out to her. He obviously expected her to catch it as he dropped it, but she just let it fall to the ground. Another Slytherin boy rushed to pick it up for Draco. 

_ Merlin, he's got everyone in this house wrapped around his finger,  _ Jarum thought while rolling her eyes. 

Draco walked up to Harry while looking him up and down. Jarum sighed in annoyance because even a blind person could sense the tension that was between the two boys. Also because Draco was being  _ really _ obvious right now and if she was right about him, then he might wanna tone it down a bit before someone put the pieces together. Luckily the staring match didn’t last much longer before Draco pointed at nothing before saying, “Dementor, dementor.” Every Slytherin in the class, excerpt Jarum, laughed hysterically as everyone turned around quickly, looking to see if there was actually a dementor. Hermione walked to where Harry was and pulled him away while giving Draco a dirty look. Her eyes briefly flicked to where Jarum was standing before she looked away. 

Hagrid cleared his throat and behind stood a creature Jarum had never seen before. “Hagrid what exactly is that,” the Weasley boy inquired. 

“That Ron is a hippogriff, the first thing you wanna know about them is…” Jarum didn’t hear the rest of what Hagrid was saying. 

Draco leaned over and whispered in her ear “That is the ugliest bloody chicken I’ve ever seen in my life.” 

Jarum smirked, “Finally something we agree on.” When Jarum and Draco looked up again, they saw Harry stroking the creature. 

Draco muttered, “Potter thinks he’s so special, I can do that too.” He began walking towards the creature while pushing several students out of his way. 

“Draco. Draco, get back here before the ugly thing kicks you in the face or something.” Either Draco didn’t hear her, or he simply ignored her, because he continued to walk towards the hippogriff. Jarum couldn’t hear what he said but it must’ve been pretty bad because soon the beast was on its hind legs and kicking at Draco. It landed a kick on his arm and he fell to the ground. 

“Oh it’s killed me, it’s killed me.” Jarum rolled her eyes and shoved several of her classmates out of her way while Hagrid was calming the beast down. 

Hagrid looked at Draco before saying, “It’s just a scratch.” 

“Hagrid!” The voice of Hermione Granger shouted. Jarum looked at her in surprise, because what could she possibly have to say after seeing Draco get hurt. “He needs to be taken to the hospital. Now.” 

Jarum spoke up, “Don’t worry I’ll get him to the hospital wing in one piece, you can continue the lesson.” Hagrid nodded to her and she helped Draco up from the ground and slung his bad arm over her shoulder. 

As they were walking away Draco shouted, “Wait til my father hears about this! Stupid bloody chicken.” 

As soon as they got into the castle Jarum shoved Draco’s arm and glared at him, “Does your arm even hurt that bad?” 

“No of course not, I just wanted to get out of that stupid class, but we still have to go to the hospital wing so the injury at least looks real. I don’t want detention for faking an injury.” Jarum nodded and they walked to the hospital wing while making light conversation. She explained what happened to Madam Pompfrey and she looked at the two of them doubtfully before wrapping Draco’s arm in a simple sling. When the pair finally left the hospital wing it was time for lunch. 

Lunch was an uneventful affair that consisted of Draco showing off his new ‘injury’ and Jarum trying not to get her eyes stuck in the back of her head from rolling them so hard. After lunch Jarum tried not to fall asleep in Divination. The only reason she didn’t fall asleep was because Draco smacked her in the back of the head whenever she closed her eyes. Each time he did it, she gave him a cold glare. Finally the two headed to their last class of the day. Defense against the Dark Arts. 

When they got there there was a wardrobe that looked like it held something that was begging to get out. The professor spoke up from the back of the class, “Would anyone like to guess what’s inside.” 

Hermione began to speak and Draco and Jarum let out twin sighs of annoyance, “That’s a boggart, boggarts are shapeshifters, which is why no one knows what they look like.” 

She was interrupted by Weasley saying, “When she’d get here.” Jarum became suspicious because when  _ did _ she get to the class. She hadn’t seen her enter, she would’ve noticed her, obviously. 

Hermione continued, “They take the shape of whatever someone fears the most, which is why they are so terrifying.” 

Professor Lupin nodded before instructing the class to say the repellant charm which was “Riddikulus.” In the midst of the class saying the charm Draco leaned down to whisper Jarum’s ear. 

“Please tell me you think this class is ridiculous.” 

Jarum smirked, “That was the worst pun I’ve ever heard but I wholeheartedly agree with you. This is the dumbest class ever and I sat through a whole hour of Divination thanks to you.” 

Their conversation was cut off by Lupin asking everyone to form a line. Jarum went all the way to the back and Draco seemed to have the same idea. Jarum didn’t want anyone to know what she was afraid of. After a few students went Harry stepped forward and Jarum saw all of Draco’s focus turn to him. His boggart turned into a dementor. Jarum’s eyebrows shot up in surprise because she thought it would be something else. Before Harry could cast the charm Lupin jumped in front of him and his boggart was a full moon. 

_ Huh that’s kind of weird _ , Jarum thought. She didn’t get too much time to think about it before he turned the moon into a balloon. The balloon flew around the classroom before the professor guided it back into the wardrobe. 

“Well sorry about that, that’s enough for today, if you could all collect your books…” Jarum had already collected her stuff and walked out the classroom. On her way out she bumped into Hermione. 

“Watch it Granger”, she growled. She began to walk away when Hermione gently grabbed her arm. 

“Wait,” Jarum’s eyes flicked up to meet Hermione’s. “Can you meet me at the same spot as last night, after everyone has gone to bed, at the same time?” 

“Why, so you can insult me about my family some more?” 

“No I just want to talk to you,” Hermione looked down in shame, “and to properly apologize.” Jarum looked to where Draco was standing, who was studying the two girls with confusion. 

Jarum nodded before muttering, “I’ll be there.” Hermione smiled at her before walking to catch up with Harry. 

When she walked over to Draco he asked, “What did the mudblood want.” 

“I don’t know something about Divination.” Jarum knew it was a half ass lie, she knew Draco didn’t buy it for a second because she and Hermione didn’t even have Divination together. But she couldn’t care less. Draco just nodded and the two walked to the Slytherin common room together. 

————————

For the second night in a row, Hermione Granger crept out of her dorm and towards the Great Staircase. The hallways of Hogwarts were dimly illuminated by the light coming from the tip of her wand. As she walked Hermione thought back to the previous night and her conversation with Jarum. She fully regretted almost everything she said. She regretted the fact that she had hurt Jarum’s feelings but she didn’t regret the stuff she had said about her family, because it was true. Jarum’s family was evil, notorious, but maybe Jarum was different. Maybe she wasn’t, whatever the answer was Hermione intended to find out tonight. Hermione sat on the stairs for 20 minutes by herself until she heard light footsteps approaching her. 

“You’re late,” Hermione said without looking back at the other girl. 

“Well I can just go back to sleep if you’re going to be like that.” 

“No, I’m sorry it’s just that I don’t like when people are late.” 

Jarum cocked her head slightly, “I’ll keep that in mind.” Hermione didn’t know why but those words gave her a surge of hope. A hope for what exactly, she didn’t know at the moment. Jarum sat down next to her on the stairs, “So what exactly do you want to talk about Granger.” 

Hermione hesitated slightly before saying, “I just wanted to apologize for saying hurtful things to you. It was wrong to judge you based on who your family was.” Hermione looked over at Jarum to gage her reaction, the other girl’s face was expressionless. Hermione stared at the other girl while she waited for her to say something, her face was dimly illuminated by the azure lighting coming from Hermione’s wand. 

Jarum lightly wet her lips before speaking, “You were right though. My family is evil, I mean my mother is a death eater, my father was, my sister  _ wants  _ to be one. And maybe you were right about me, maybe evil is hereditary, it would make sense, I can’t name one person in my entire bloodline who was good. It’s in my blood to be evil.” 

Hermione looked at her tenderly, “I don’t think evil is hereditary,” Jarum looked up at her, “I think everyone is a product of their environment, hate is  _ always _ taught, no one is born evil, including you.” Jarum looked at her softly before her expression hardened. 

She scoffed, “You Gryffindor’s are so noble aren’t you? Always trying to save someone, even if they don’t need it. News flash Granger, I don’t  _ need _ saving and I never will, so stop trying to act like you’re my savior or something.” Jarum got up from where she was sitting. 

_ Well so much for making friends _ , Hermione thought. 

“But apology accepted I guess,” Jarum muttered before walking off in the direction of the Slytherin common room. Hermione looked at her retreating figure until it faded into the darkness. She frowned to herself, she wasn’t really expecting the other girl to accept her apology with open arms but, she didn’t expect the girl to be so hostile, especially after agreeing to meet her after everyone had gone to bed. That girl was a mystery, an enigma, and for some reason, that wouldn’t become clear to Hermione until months later, she made it her mission to figure out the puzzle that was Jarum Crange. 

————————

As Jarum lay in bed that night, she internally cursed at herself. Cursed at herself for divulging the nature of her family to a muggle who probably had no idea of what it was like growing up pureblood. Cursed at herself for staring at the girl for what was far too long to be considered normal. Jarum wanted to be normal, she couldn’t be like…that. It would absolutely shatter her family and she would be cast out as a disappointment, her mother may even kill her. Jarum didn’t want to die, that was never in her plans and it never would be. “Don’t feel, don't feel, don't feel”, she muttered softly to herself. It was a mantra that got her through her toughest days. If she disassociated from her problems, they wouldn’t matter anymore, they wouldn’t affect her anymore. Jarum stared up at her ceiling, insomnia once again plaguing her, hoping to feel nothing once again, and it soon worked. Jarum spent the rest of the night staring at her ceiling, wallowing in numbness. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, thank you so much for reading, chapter 3 should be up soon.


	3. Twisted Sister

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A member of Jarum's family shows up at Hogwarts & quidditch tryouts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up, I've had a stressful few weeks with school and basketball. Happy Thanksgiving everyone, I'm so thankful to everyone who has read this story so far, enjoy the chapter.

Like most people, Jarum was a firm believer in karma. Whether it was good or bad, Jarum believed that most people deserved what they had coming to them. So that’s why Jarum was currently sitting in the hospital wing of Hogwarts, wondering what she did to deserve this. She’d never really done anything that bad, she was practically a saint compared to her mom and sister. That wasn’t saying much considering anyone could be a saint compared to those two, but it was something. Jarum had thought back to how this terrible day even started. 

The beginning of her morning had started off pretty decent, she was excited for quidditch tryouts that day, and she was pretty sure she would make the team, despite being the only girl to try out. 

Draco had waited for her outside of her dorm and the two had walked to breakfast together. They had actually been getting along the past few days, they kept bickering and insults to a minimum and had begun forming a genuine friendship. 

As the two walked they made light conversation, “And how did you sleep sunshine?” Jarum joked. 

Draco scoffed, “Call me sunshine again and see what happens.” 

Jarum smiled, “Oh don’t be so serious now sunshine, besides you should cheer up, quidditch tryouts are today and if you keep being an ass I may have to knock you off your broom.” 

A ghost of a smile graced Draco’s lips, “You wish Crange.” The pair walked into the Great Hall and sat down at the Slytherin table where they were greeted by Pansy and Blaise. 

What happened next is where Jarum’s day went downhill. Jarum wasn’t expecting her day to go to complete and utter shit, her morning started good, and she was actually having a decent first week at Hogwarts. But, things in Jarum’s life rarely went the way she wanted them too. 

The doors of the Great Hall slammed open and a hush fell over the students who were eating breakfast. Jarum dropped her fork in disbelief while the other students stared at the young woman who had interrupted breakfast. Every set of eyes in the room was fixed on her as she strutted confidently through the Great Hall and towards the Slytherin table. Her heels clicking on the floor. 

The young woman strolled up to where Jarum was sitting and plastered on a fake smile that looked so real, that if Jarum didn’t know better she would’ve fallen for the false sense of security. “Hello little sister,” Jaia Crange grinned. 

“What the hell are you doing here, you graduated last year,” Jarum kept her voice down because she was aware that every eye was now watching them curiously. 

“Well”, Jaia breathed, “for starters you forgot your owl and mother was awfully upset when she saw that you left dear Lucen behind,” she gestured to the cage with a covering over it, “so it was either me or a howler.” 

“Well I honestly would’ve preferred the howler,” Jarum replied. Draco snickered and Jaia’s cold gaze snapped to him and if looks could kill he’d be six feet under. Her fake smile waned ever so slightly before she continued to speak again. 

“I see you haven’t lost your sense of humor little sister.” 

“I’ve only been attending Hogwarts for a week Jaia, there must be some other reason as to why you’re here.” 

Jaia narrowed her eyes, “Secondly,” she spat out tersely, “mother wanted me to give this to you. She figured you would want to try out for the team.” Jaia took the box that was under her arm and placed it in front of her. When Jarum stared at the box, Jaia snarked, “I know we’re witches and we grew up around magic, but that box isn’t going to open itself.” Jarum rolled her eyes as she opened the box. Inside was an expensive looking broom with her last name carved into the handle. 

Draco leaned over to get a better look at the broom, “That’s a really nice broom Crange, you better make the team.” 

Jarum looked at Draco before she looked back at Jaia, “Okay you can leave now, unless you have some other reason to bother me or anyone else with your presence.” 

At that Jaia’s patience seemed to snap and she seized Jarum by the back of her neck. “Excuse us for a moment Malfoy, me and my baby sister are going to have a chat in private.” 

As Jaia ushered her out the Great Hall, she could feel her razor sharp nails digging into the back of neck. She looked across the Hall and her eyes met Hermione’s briefly, the other girl looked concerned and Jarum could’ve sworn she saw her get up to follow her and her sister out the Hall, but she couldn’t dwell on it too much before she was led out into the hallways. The second the two rounded a corner, Jaia slammed her against the nearest wall. Jarum was tall for her age, she was taller than Jaia, but despite their slight height difference, Jaia always felt taller. “I show up here at this joke of a school to deliver you an owl and an expensive broom, only for you to give me an attitude. You ungrateful little shit!” 

“Well you’re not exactly my favorite person and mother doesn’t buy gifts out of the kindness of her heart, so you must have an ulterior motive of some sort.” 

Jaia laughed sarcastically, “Well well well aren’t you smart, you should’ve been in fucking Ravenclaw. Honestly it doesn’t take a genius to figure out why I’m here.” 

“And why are you here.” 

“Sirius Black escaped from prison and rumor has it he might be hiding at this school so naturally mother sent me to investigate it further. But I had to make it look like I was visiting you so I wouldn’t arouse any suspicion.”

“And you were just all too eager to do mother’s bidding weren't you Jaia?” 

At that Jaia’s smile turned sinister as she roughly seized her sister’s face and dug a perfectly manicured nail into her scar. When Jarum didn’t react, she pressed harder until she winced. “Little sister” she began, “when will you learn that everything I do for mother has a purpose?” She pressed even harder until she drew blood, “Unfortunately for you, you’re still too weak to have a purpose, but you will, soon enough.” Jaia released her face and began to walk away from her. 

Jaia turned around, “And another thing little sister, I’ll be watching the quidditch tryouts today. I wouldn’t want mother’s investment in you to go to waste.” She smirked cruelly before turning around again and walking away from Jarum. 

Jarum muttered, “Fuck”, before wiping the blood off of her face. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as she sensed a presence behind her, Jarum instantly knew who it was. Despite their limited interactions, Hermione always seemed to be around her, was always in the same classes as her, was always in the Great Hall at the same time. 

Without turning around Jarum spat, “Stalking people now are we Granger? You know what they say about curiosity and the cat right?” She turned around to face Hermione, who was looking at her with an unreadable expression. Which was weird, because Jarum was fairly good at reading people, but when it came to Hermione, her mind drew blanks.

“Are you okay? I mean I saw the whole thing” Hermione hesitantly reached up to touch her face. 

Jarum seized her wrist roughly, Hermione’s hand was inches away from her face, “My wellbeing is none of your concern Granger.” Her grip on Hermione’s wrist was hard enough to bruise, “Now stop meddling in my business because I can assure that it won’t end well for you.”

“Is that a threat?”

Her vice grip on Hermione’s wrist tightened, “You don’t wanna find out.” She let go of her wrist and stormed back towards the Great Hall. 

Jaia showing up made everything ten times more stressful, she always felt uneasy when a member of a family was close by. She only hoped that her day would get better, despite the fact that her morning was completely ruined by her sister. 

***

Unfortunately for Jarum, her day only went down hill. Maybe it was the presence of her sister or maybe whatever being that controlled what happened in the universe had a wicked sense of humor and was playing some kind of joke on her. 

After putting her owl in the owlery and her broom in her dorm, Jarum was nearly late to potions, so she had to run to class. This caused her normally tame hair to become a wild mess. When she arrived at class, panting and out of breath, she realized that once again, everyone was watching her. 

“Ms. Crange, how nice of you to join us,” Professor Snape snarked. She fake smiled at him before making her way to her seat and sitting down next to Draco. 

As Snape began the lesson, Jarum noticed that Draco hadn’t taken his eyes off her ever since she came into the classroom. 

“Take a picture, it'll last longer”, she spat. 

“Oh, don’t mind me, I was just staring at the monstrosity that is your hair.”

“You’re a fucking asshole,” Jarum said while taking the hair tie that was on her wrist and fixing her air into a loose bun. 

There was another beat of silence between the two, before Jarum felt her irritation reach its peak, as she realized Draco was still staring at her. 

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you it’s impolite to stare, I mean I know you don’t care much for man-”

Draco cut her off, “Not that I care, but are you okay?”

“If you don’t care, why are you asking me?”

“Just answer the question Jarum.”

She sighed loudly, “I’m fine Draco, I know how to handle my sister, besides I have more important things to worry about, like quidditch tryouts.”

“Yea you better make the team, I’d hate to see how your mother would react if you wasted her money.” 

At Draco’s words a pit of anxiety opened up in her stomach, Jarum felt sick. She hadn’t even thought of what would happen if she didn’t make the team. She felt bile rise in her throat, like she had eaten something bad, but she swallowed it back down. She was so caught up in her own thoughts, that she didn’t even register that Snape had asked her a question until Draco nudged her. 

“I’m sorry can you repeat the question Professor.”

Snape sighed in annoyance before asking, “Can you name an ingredient from the Girding Potion.” 

“Doxy eggs,” Draco whispered to her, discreetly. 

“Doxy eggs,” Jarum repeated out loud. 

“Correct,” Snape said before moving on. 

Jarum put her head in her hands. Not only did she have to worry about her psychotic sister roaming the campus freely, but there was also the stress of what her mother would do to her if she didn’t make the quidditch team. Her sister’s words from earlier rang in her head, ‘ _ I wouldn’t want mother’s investment in you to go to waste’ _ . Jarum was going to make the quidditch team by any means necessary. 

With Jarum’s luck, her other classes did not go as smoothly as Potions did. In Transfiguration, her and Draco had gotten into an argument over the lesson which led to a screaming match that resulted in 30 house points being deducted. 

In Herbology a Venomous Tentacula, that was reserved for sixth years, latched onto her sleeve and wouldn’t let go. Draco had tried to get it off her, but it was no use. When Professor Sprout had muttered a spell to stun the plant, Jaurm’s robe sleeve ripped and Sprout wouldn’t let her go back to her dorm to change. Stating that it was ‘her fault’ and that she ‘shouldn’t have stood so close to the plant’. Jarum had opened her mouth to start an argument before Draco covered it to save her from getting in trouble. 

In Care of Magical Creatures, Jarum had stepped in some kind of animal feces. It had smelled so rancid that Jarum nearly threw up. Thankfully, the rest of the lesson passed without incident. 

At lunch Jarum didn’t even feel like eating, her anxiety wouldn’t allow it, she pushed her food around her plate, before Blaise spoke up, “You should eat you know, maybe it’ll make you feel better.”

“Thanks Blaise, but I’m not really hungry” she muttered. 

“Yea Blaise, she’s having a pretty shit day. She’s the reason we got 30 house points taken away in Transfiguration,” Draco said, “and she nearly got more points taken off in Herbology too.”

Jarum rolled her eyes, “Please, you started that argument in Transfiguration, so it was a team effort.”

Draco snorted and started talking to Blaise about something that was no doubt unimportant, because she tuned them out. 

She allowed her eyes to drift to the Gryffindor table, where she spotted Hermione. She thought back to their encounter this morning, Merlin that girl was annoying. But Jarum could admit she wasn’t ugly, she was nice to look at. Jarum watched as her and Potter laughed at something Weasly said. Maybe if Draco wasn’t such an ass she could have a friendship like that too. She hadn't realized she was staring until Hermione’s eyes met hers. Jarum looked away quickly and pushed her food around for the rest of lunch. 

In Divination, her and Draco both managed to get detention for falling asleep, it got worse when Jarum had retorted, “Well maybe if your class was more interesting, people wouldn’t be falling asleep.” That had earned her several scowls from her peers and two more weeks of detention. 

Defense Against the Dark Arts, was the only class that passed without incident, and Jarum was thankful for it because it was her last class of the day. 

When her and Draco arrived back at the Slytherin dorms he grabbed her arm gently. 

“What now Draco.”

“I just wanted to wish you goodluck,” she raised an eyebrow at him, “Seriously don’t hurt yourself out there. Or make yourself look stupid.” And there was the condescending remark. 

“Draco you’re so sweet, I think I’m going to tear up at your kindness,” she said sarcastically. 

“Whatever, meet back here in ten?” 

“Sure.” 

She walked to her dorm, where Pansy and Daphne were laying on their respective beds. 

“Goodluck at the quidditch tryouts today Jarum,” Daphne said. 

“Please,” Pansy scoffed, “She’s going to need a lot more than luck before those dicks let her on the team.” 

Jarum smirked as she was changing, “My luck comes in the form of my sister, who just so happened to grace Hogwarts with her presence today. And anyone who knows who she is, and has enough common sense is scared of her. Including Marcus Flint, the captain, I’m pretty sure she has his balls in a vice grip.” 

Despite her sister’s cruelty, and the outright fact that neither one of them could be in each other’s presence for too long without wanting to kill each other, she knew Jaia would step in if needed. Neither were a stranger to their mother’s wrath, and because Jaia saw their mother on a daily basis now, she would get the worst of it if Jarum failed to make the team. 

Pansy smiled, “I hope you make the team, seriously, someone has to knock them down a few pegs.” 

“I agree”, Daphne said. 

Jarum smiled, “Thanks guys. Well I’ll see you after tryouts.” 

She waved bye to the other girls and walked back to the common room, where Draco was waiting in a quidditch uniform and his broom. As the two began to walk towards the pitch Draco spoke quietly. 

“You know I have your back out there, and so does Blaise, and Adrian, he’s really nice. Flint isn’t so bad either. The rest though, you have to look out for.” 

Her eyes widened slightly, because Draco was being nice, without rude remarks. It seemed impossible. 

She turned to face him, “Thank you Draco I know that took a lot out of you.” 

He rolled his eyes, “Yea, don't mention it, ever.” 

When the two finally arrived at the pitch Jarum looked up to the stands to see their only spectator, Jaia. She looked uncomfortable, as if the whole thing was beneath her. 

When she and Draco reached the others, Marcus began explaining that the tryouts would be a simple scrimmage. He began dividing them up into teams, Draco and Blaise were placed on the opposite team, but both Adrian and Marcus were on the same team as her. She was handed a club and she mounted her broom and flew over to where Jaia was sitting. 

“Remember what I said earlier, little sister, don’t let mother’s investment in you go to waste,” Jaia said. 

Jarum rolled her eyes, “I haven’t forgotten, Jaia. You shouldn’t be worried, I’m going to make the team.” 

Jarum began to fly away on her broom before Jaia’s voice stopped her, “One more thing,” Jarum turned around to face her, “if you fall, make sure you’re in my line of sight, so I can have some form of entertainment.” 

“Fuck you.” When Jaia simply smirked at her choice of words, Jarum flew over to where the others were. 

She took a deep breath, as the quaffle,snitch, and bludgers were released. The scrimmage had begun. 

***

The game went on for over an hour until Draco had finally caught the snitch, securing the victory for his team. In that hour, Jarum had pretty much outplayed everyone on her team. Her defense was impeccable, and she had even almost knocked Draco off his broom. 

After the game had finished she flew over to where her sister was. Jaia was clapping slowly, with a rare, but genuine smile on her face. Unlike the previous smiles she had given her that day, this smile was warm, and held a sliver of pride for her little sister. 

Jarum smiled back, she couldn’t remember the last time her sister had smiled like that. She was about to fly over to her sister to talk to her when the quaffle collided with the right side of her face. The wind was knocked out of her. Due to the fact that the game was over, Jarum knew some asshole had thrown it at her. But she had bigger things to worry about, because she was currently falling towards the ground at full speed. 

She heard her sister shout a spell to slow her down, so she wouldn’t hit the ground as hard, but unluckily for Jarum, she still had a bad landing. Despite the pounding sensation on her face, and the stabbing pain in her left foot, Jarum wanted to know who had the audacity to throw the quaffle at her. 

Draco and Blaise were by her side, seconds after she hit the ground, helping her up. 

“Who…the fuck threw the fucking quaffle at my fucking face,” she spat out. 

The two boys’ eyes widened before Blaise answered, “I don’t think we should tell you right now, you’re hurt and you might do something rash.” 

Draco looked at him then Jarum before saying, “Goyle threw it, I saw him.” 

At his words Jarum broke away from them and stormed towards Goyle, who was laughing with Crabbe. Adrenaline was rushing through her body. When she reached him, she spat the blood that was collecting in her mouth at his feet. 

“You fucking prick.” 

“What’s wrong Crange, scared I messed up your pretty little face, well I mean messed it up again. You don’t belong on a quidditch pitch.” He laughed. 

Jarum fake laughed with him, once he saw she was laughing too his laughter halted abruptly. “You think you’re fucking funny? Seriously? Do you think that shit was funny? Why don’t you say it louder so everyone can hear that shit huh.” Jarum’s temper was rising and flaring, it was preparing to explode. “Better yet let me ask someone, Draco, did you think that shit was funny?” 

Draco shook his head as he glared at Goyle, “No I don’t think it was funny at all.” 

Jarum raised her arms, “Well there you have it.” 

Goyle’s expression turned fearful as Jarum advanced upon him. Once she was face to face with him she stared him down, before backing up slightly. Once she heard his sigh of relief, she swung her right arm and punched him in the face. 

He fell to the floor and began cradling his nose, and crying, “Don’t underestimate me again you piece of shit.” 

Jarum touched the side of her face and she noticed that her knuckles were bloody, and her face was bleeding. As she started to walk, the shooting pain in her left foot began again and Draco and Blaise each swung one of her arms over their shoulders and helped her walk to the hospital wing. 

*** 

Up in the stands, Jaia Crange witnessed the whole thing. “Huh I guess she did give me a source of entertainment,” she muttered to herself. 

Contrary to popular belief, Jaia didn’t particularly hate her sister. Was she annoying? Yes. Was she unbearably naïve? Most of the time. But she had some sort of semblance of love for her Jarum. She just didn’t know how to show it. She had no idea how to show love, at all. Her childhood was cold, cruel, and lifeless even if she was the favorite. Hogwarts was her warmth, it’s where her best memories were, which is why she had practically jumped at the opportunity to investigate the Sirius Black debacle. She made her way down to the grass, Marcus Flint was waiting for her, everyone else had already dispersed. 

“Hello Jaia.” 

“Marcus.” She began to absentmindedly twist her tight curls around her finger. 

“You look lovely,” he said sincerely, “it’s good to see you again.” 

She rolled her eyes at her ex boyfriend, “Marcus, I told you when we broke up during my sixth year and your fifth year, that we were never going to get back together.” 

He looked at her and sighed, “I know it’s just, old feelings always come back you know?” 

Jaia recalled the reminiscing she did that day, not of Marcus, but of someone else, someone she could never admit to being with. “Yea…I know exactly what you mean.” 

“You know I only let her tryout because I heard she was your sister.” 

She scoffed, “Yea and now you’re gonna let her on the team, not because of me, but because she’s genuinely talented and would make the team better.” 

Marcus held up his hands defensively, “I know, I had my doubts about her, but the scrimmage showed that she could keep up. But what really sold me was when she punched Goyle in the face, I mean we need more of that energy if we’re going to win the House Cup don’t you think?” 

Jaia rolled her eyes at his excitement, “I guess, I don’t really care about quidditch.” 

Marcus put his hand over his chest, pretending to be offended, “Not even when we were dating? You wound me Crange.” 

Jaia laughed and pushed his shoulder lightly, “You’re a moron.” 

“Does this mean you’ll be coming to the matches now?”

She stopped twisting her hair, “What?” 

“Jarum, I’m letting her on the team.” 

Jaia smiled, “Brilliant, thank you.” 

Marcus smiled back, “No need to thank me, she really is talented and she’s only in her third year. I reckon she’d probably knock Potter off his broom.”

“I know, but still,” Jaia leaned up to give him a friendly hug. “I missed you, moron.” 

Marcus hugged her back, his heart heavy and hurting at the fact that she'd never be his again. “I miss you too, bitch.” 

Jaia laughed and the two began walking towards the hospital wing. 

***

And that brings Jarum’s day to the present, as she sits in the hospital wing, with a huge ice pack to her face, a black eye, a concussion, bruised knuckles, and a broken foot. When Draco and Blaise had brought her in, Madam Pompfrey looked at Draco, wondering why he hadn’t been wearing his sling, he merely shrugged and said he healed fast. 

Madam Pompfrey muttered a spell to realign the bones in Jarum’s foot, “FU-“, her curse was cut off with glare from the older woman. She rolled her eyes, it had hurt like hell. She fixed her bruise knuckles afterwards before standing to look at her. 

“Well I can’t fix your face, or do anything about your concussion, so don’t do anything too strenuous within the next few days, ice your eye daily, and you should be good to go.” 

Jarum muttered a thank you, as Blaise and Draco came to sit down on either side of her. 

“Truthfully Jarum, I don’t think anything could fix your face.” Draco joked. 

She punched him in the shoulder, “You're hilarious Draco.” 

“I can’t believe you punched Goyle in the face,” Blaise said, still in disbelief, “I mean you just walked right up to him, and socked him”.

“Yea what did you expect me to do? Cry?”

“Yea a little bit,” both of the boys said in unison. 

She shook her head, “Dickheads.”

They both smiled at her, and the trio watched Marcus and Jaia enter the wing together. Jarum raised an eyebrow, she knew the two had dated in the past, but she didn’t know they were on good terms. 

“Jarum you played one hell of match today,” Marcus said as he strolled up to the bed she was sitting on. 

“Yea thanks I guess.” 

“I wanted to offer you a spot on the team, you’re really talented, regardless of gender.” 

Jarum’s head snapped up and a huge smile graced her face, “Seriously? I mean yea of course I’ll accept your offer.”

Her eyes flicked to Jaia, “You didn’t have anything to do with this did you?” 

Jaia rolled her eyes, “No I didn’t, I guess you’re not a complete waste. Though you never did learn how to control that explosive temper of yours did you?” 

“Well what did you expect me to do?”

“I don’t know, cry or something.”

Jarum scoffed, her and Jaia were both raised to believe showing any emotion was a sign of weakness, “Why does everyone keep saying that.” Jaia smiled genuinely at little sister for the second time that day. 

For the first time since that morning, Jarum felt content. She had made the quidditch team, and her sister was being bearable for once. However, her moment didn’t last long as Professor Snape came storming dramatically through the halls. 

“Professor, how nice of you to visit my little sister, while she’s injured.” 

“Miss Crange, always a pleasure to see you again, however I’m afraid your sister is in trouble.”

“For what,” Draco asked, “Whatever she did probably isn’t her fault.” 

Snape sighed, “It has come to my attention that you broke Mr. Goyle’s nose.”

Marcus laughed slightly, “Holy shit I didn’t know you hit him that hard.”

Snape glared at him before looking at Jarum, “Want to tell me why you did it?”

“He threw a quaffle at my face, which caused me to fall off my broom. I got a concussion, a black eye, and a broken foot as a result.” Jarum stated. 

“I see, well he has agreed to apologize to you, so as long as you apologize to him, no disciplinary actions will need to be taken.” 

“No,” Jarum said. 

“No?” Snape asked.

“No, I’m not apologizing. Because me apologizing would imply that I made a mistake, and I didn’t make a mistake when I punched him. I’m not sorry for it, and I’m not going to pretend like I'm sorry for it, because I would do it again.” Marcus looked at her, impressed. Draco was clearly holding back laughter. Jaia looked proud? Blaise was smiling and Snape was staring at her as if she had grown two heads. 

He shook his head, “Then you leave me no choice but to dock 50 house points from Slytherin. And may I remind you, that you have single handedly lost 80 points for your house today.” 

Blaise groaned, “Oh shut it Blaise we weren’t winning the House Cup this year anyways,” Draco said. 

“Technically Professor I’ve only lost 65 house points. Draco and I lost 30 house points together, which means we lost 15 each.” 

Snape looked at her with a blank expression on his face, he seemed utterly fed up with her and her friends. He turned to exit dramatically out of the hospital and the fivesome watched him leave. 

Jaia walked over to Jarum, “I should get going little sister. Try and make sure that your black eye heals, we wouldn’t want you to have two scars on your face now would we?” 

Jarum sneered at her, “You just can’t handle not being a bitch for more than five seconds can you?” 

Jaia smirked, “No not really, it gives me confidence,” she began walking away, “Oh and one more thing Jarum, expect mother to be at the first quidditch match.” She turned and strutted out of the wing, her heels clicking on the floor, in the same manner that they had that morning. 

Marcus’s eyes followed her out of the wing, “What a woman.” Blaise nodded in agreement, while Jarum and Draco’s faces held matching looks of disgust. 

Jarum began to focus on her sister’s last words, her mom, coming to Hogwarts. Great. Something she could stress out about for the next few months. 

“Well I guess we should get you back to your dorm,” Draco said. 

“You should carry me.”

Draco roared with laughter, “You’re funny Crange,” Jarum’s face remained stoic, “oh you were serious, yea no I’m not carrying you.”

“Fine Marcus you carry me.” 

“I hardly think you’re in a position to give out orders,” he replied. 

“I’ll convince my sister to give you another chance.”

Marcus shrugged, “Fair enough.” 

Draco and Blaise watched in disbelief as he bent down so Jarum could get on his back. As the four of them walked back to her dorm, they passed Hermione and Ron in the hallway. Hermione looked at Jarum on Marcus’s back, concern washing over her features. 

“What’re you looking at, filthy mudblood,” Draco sneered. Ron and Hermione stopped walking, as did Marcus and Blaise. Jarum just wanted to go back to her dorm and fall asleep. 

“What did you say Malfoy?” Ron asked, trying to be intimidating. 

“You heard me.”

“Draco!” Jarum said, “Can you not for once, I wanna go back to my dorm to sleep.” Draco hesitated before retreating with the others. Unbeknownst to Jarum, Hermione hadn’t continued to walk until she saw Marcus turn the corner. 

Marcus carried her up all the way to her dorm while Draco and Blaise followed. Seeing the state she was in, Pansy and Daphne hopped off their beds.

“Is she okay, what happened,” Pansy inquired. 

“Goyle threw a fucking quaffle at her and she fell off her broom, got a concussion, a black eye, and broke her foot. She punched him in the face though.” Marcus said while gently laying her down on the bed. 

“You sir are a saint,” Jarum said while smiling sleepily. Marcus smiled back at her. 

“Goyle’s such an asshole, I’m glad she punched him instead of crying,” Daphne said while looking at Jarum on her bed. 

Jarum didn’t register the rest of the conversation, maybe it was because of her injuries, or the fact that her unlucky day was utterly exhausting, but for the first time in a long time, Jarum easily succumbed to the blanket of warmth called sleep. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so about Marcus, I think I'm going to make him have a decent sized role, at least in year 3 of the story. I know in the movie he looks...questionable, so just imagine him with normal teeth, slightly taller, slightly longer hair, and better eyebrows. But thank you for reading this chapter, updates should be more frequent now.


	4. Hogsmeade and Heavy Denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more of a filler chapter than anything, but enjoy!

At times like this, Draco really questioned the sanity of the people at Hogwarts, more specifically the students. More specifically the Slytherin students. More specifically Marcus Flint. They had about a month before their first game, in late November, and they hadn’t had an actual practice. They hadn’t once gone over formations and practiced playing actual quidditch as a team. Instead, Marcus had been forcing them to go through grueling exercises after lessons were finished everyday. He wanted all of them to be in top shape because he refused to lose in his last year at Hogwarts. 

Draco and Jarum were jogging beside each other in the pouring rain. Marcus and Adrian were ahead of them, Blaise was slightly behind them, Theo had fallen behind, due to vomiting, and Cassius was already done. Draco didn’t blame Theo for throwing up, it was their fourth mile of the day, it was freezing, and the rain was coming down in harsh bullets. Soon enough Draco and Jarum had finished and both were panting with their hands on their knees. When Theo finally finished, Marcus addressed the team. 

“Good job today everyone, remember, if we’re going to win we have to be in the best shape possible. Meet here after lessons, same time as usual.” 

“Oh for crying out loud, Flint. When are we going to actually practice quidditch,” Draco spoke up irritated. He was tired of all the meaningless exercises and running. He was sick of the aching soreness in the morning. 

Marcus rolled his eyes, “Next week, drama queen. You all are dismissed.” 

Draco, Blaise, and Jarum started to walk back to the castle together. As they were walking Blaise spoke up, “Should we go to Hogsmeade this weekend?”

“What’s in Hogsmeade?” Jarum asked, Draco realized that she had never been, since it was technically her first year at Hogwarts. 

“Lots of stuff actually, besides I think we deserve a little relaxation after all the shit Marcus has put us through lately,” Draco replied. 

“Draco, you of all people should enjoy it, considering how badly you don’t wanna lose again to Potter,” Jarum teased. 

For the first time that day, Draco was glad for the rain because the other two couldn’t see the light blush that graced his cheeks at the mention of Harry. 

“Do you want another black eye Crange,” Draco retorted. 

Jarum grinned, over the past month, she had easily become one of his closest friends. Despite their often bickering and occasional arguments, he could tell Jarum was genuinely his friend and wasn’t just using him for status or to please her mother. 

“No, but maybe Blaise will help me give you one,” she joked, before jumping on his back, while Blaise tried to tackle him. 

“Get off me you idiots,” Draco laughed. They were already back at the castle and their laughter was carrying throughout the hallways. People were giving the trio strange looks as they walked past. Unfortunately McGonagall happened to walk past them as they were rough housing. 

“Miss Crange, please get off of Mr. Malfoy’s back and Mr. Zabini let go of him. Five points from Slytherin for horse playing in the castle.” 

“Oh come on!” Jarum complained. 

“Also, if I may ask, why are the three of you wet,” the Professor questioned. 

“Quidditch practice ma’am,” Blaise said, always so polite. 

She quickly muttered a spell and the three of them were dry, “No more rough housing in the castle, enjoy the rest of your day.” 

“Well there goes our fun, what’re you guys doing for the rest of the day,” Draco asked. 

“Shit I just remembered I was going to go study with Pansy in the library,” Blaise said, “I’ll see you two later yea.”

Draco and Jarum waved goodbye to Blaise and started walking towards the dorms. 

“You really should come to Hogsmeade this weekend it’ll be fun,” 

She rolled her eyes playfully, “As long as it’s not too cold, I guess I can clear out my busy schedule.” 

Draco smiled and shoved her lightly, he then remembered that he had important news to tell Jarum. The information however was supposed to be private, and he wasn’t supposed to share it with anyone—at least that’s what his father said. But for Jarum, he could make an exception. He dragged her to the nearest supply closet and shut the door. 

“Are you insane Draco, what the hell!”

“No I have something important to tell you, but I didn’t want anyone to overhear.”

She put her hand over her chest mockingly, “Aww Draco do you like me?”

Draco shook his head, he didn’t like her, not like that. He didn’t know why either, Jarum was attractive and pure blood, she also had a decent personality, what more could he want? In fact he had never liked any girl. He had never paid attention to them, his focus was always on Harry. And his stupid smile and stupid glasses and his stupid green eyes that were in those glasses and his stupid ugly face. Draco’s heart dropped to his ass in realization, his throat became dry and his thoughts began banging around harshly in his head. Before he could think further Jarum snapped in front of his face, bringing him back down to earth. 

“Hello? Earth to Draco, what did you need to tell me? And why a broom closet of all places, it’s so dusty in here,” she took a whiff, “and it stinks, but that could just be you.” 

Draco nearly forgot what he was about to tell her, his thoughts about Harry threw him off. But luckily he remembered, “Shut it, remember on the first day of school when that ugly ass chicken kicked me down.” 

She rolled her eyes, “Pretty sure it’s called a hippogriff.” 

“Well I wrote a letter to my father about it, and he’s going to have the ugly thing executed.”

“For what?”

“For hurting me, you idiot. You should be happy, you stepped it’s shit that one time.” 

“Yea yea, whatever. Don’t you think you’re being a bit dramatic though?” 

Draco scoffed, “Its kick hurt.”

“You were fine the next day!” 

The two left the broom closet, continuing to bicker. Draco’s heart wasn’t in it though. Now that he had realized why his focus was always on Harry, it felt as if an immovable weight had been placed directly on his chest, on his heart. He was so caught up between his thoughts and bickering with Jarum that he didn’t notice Ron Weasley had been listening to their conversation from outside the closet. 

***

Hermione was exhausted, using her time turner to take more classes was by far the stupidest thing she had ever done. She had to keep this up for the rest of the term too. There was no getting out of it. She was in the Gryffindor common room trying to help Harry with his Transfiguration homework when Ron came rushing in, out of breath, like he had run all the way there. 

“Ron what’s wrong, are you okay,” she asked. 

“You would not believe what I just overheard while spying on Crange and Malfoy.” 

“If you’re going to talk about Crange breaking Goyle’s nose, that’s old news mate,” Harry said. 

Hermione remembered the day that it happened, how her face had looked while she was being carried on Marcus Flint’s back in the hallway. How her hand was severely bruised and there was a bandage around her foot. Hermione knew Jarum had a bit of a temper, she was no stranger to it. The girl had left bruises on her wrist from gripping it so hard. But, she didn’t know it was explosive enough to break someone’s nose. Hermione often thought about her still, despite their limited interactions over the past month and a half. She was slowly coming to terms with her sexuality, she figured she would have to tell Ron and Harry soon. 

“No it’s something way worse,” Ron said, still slightly out of breath. 

“Well, spit it out,” Harry replied impatiently. 

“Draco’s father is going to have Buckbeak executed, for attacking Draco.” 

“What? No he can’t, that’s not fair. Draco provoked Buckbeak into attacking him”, Hermione exclaimed. 

“Yea it’s happening, I don’t know when though, that’s all I was able to hear,” Ron paused, “We have to save him, Buckbeak.” 

“And how do you suggest we do that Ron? Just waltz up to Lucius Malfoy and tell him no?” Harry asked.

“No, but we’ll figure out a way, well Hermione will,” Hermione rolled her eyes, “but we can save him, I know we can.” 

“Okay, fine I’ll come up with something”, Hermione replied. 

Harry and Ron smiled at her, she already had a plan forming. She just had to figure out a way to tell them about the time turner without them freaking out about it. She couldn’t believe Draco, well she could, but she couldn’t believe Jarum was just letting it happen. She really thought the Slytherin girl was different. 

She had retired to her dorm after her conversation with Harry and Ron, hoping to get some sleep. Alone with her thoughts, she tried harder to come to terms with her sexuality. The only thing her mind could come up with were the Crange sisters. The older one, Jaia, looked as if she were a Greek goddess. Her high cheekbones and caramel colored skin were extremely captivating. That girl could make an empire of men fall at her feet if she wanted to. Everyone had been entranced by her when she had strutted through the Great Hall, as if they were all snakes and she was a snake charmer. Her eyes were cold and guarded, Hermione guessed that she had seen some shit, or maybe she got her heart absolutely shattered when she had been at Hogwarts. 

She recalled one of the twins saying,  _ “If it’s one thing the Crange family did right, it’s making their daughters look like that.”  _

Next she thought of Jarum, the younger girl’s features were softer than her sister’s, more playful. Her cheekbones and jawline were still very prominent, but her brown eyes were warmer, not as cold as her sister’s were. Her crooked smile had layers to it. Hermione was simply fascinated with Jarum, how could she not be. It’s a shame that she was most likely going down the wrong path, being friends with Draco Malfoy and all. She had also gained some popularity since making the quidditch team and because of that, a lot of her friends were blood supremacists. Still, Hermione couldn’t help but stare at her when she had the chance. Everyday since she saw Jarum for the first time, Hermione had fallen asleep thinking about her. Tonight was no different. 

***

Jarum was surprisingly sleeping peacefully. She had been sleeping great lately, due to the combined exhaustion of schoolwork and quidditch workouts everyday. It was Saturday morning and she was glad that she was able to finally sleep in. Until she heard a voice whisper her name. 

“Jarum, Jarum wake up.” She couldn’t tell who was speaking to her, so she ignored whoever it was and rolled over so she could continue her peaceful slumber. 

A few minutes passed before she felt cold water collide with her face. She shot up in her bed and saw Pansy, Daphne, Draco, and Blaise standing over her. All of them were dressed. Draco was undoubtedly the one who had poured the water on her, because he was holding back a laugh and a cup. 

“What the fuck! Are you mental?!” She exclaimed. 

“Get up and get dressed, we’re going to Hogsmeade,” Draco ordered. 

“Okay dad,” she said sarcastically, “Fuck what time is it.” 

“10 in the morning,” said Blaise. 

“Ugh fuck that, I’m going back to bed.” 

“Crange I will drag you out of your bed and force you to get dressed, now get up,” Daphne demanded. 

She groaned before rolling out of bed, she noticed everyone was still in her dorm, “Um a little privacy.” 

The rest left her to get ready in peace. She put on her jeans and sweater and a light coat. She looked at her tangled hair in the mirror before deciding she did not feel like combing it out. She pulled it into a lazy ponytail before putting a knitted beanie on her head. Jarum walked out of her dorm to where her friends were waiting. 

“Finally you took forever.”

“Shut up pretty boy, let’s go.”

The group of Slytherin began making their way towards Hogsmeade, the air was cold but refreshing. It felt nice to be outside without having to worry about the running or exercising. Blaise had found a small rubber ball and had been playing catch with Jarum as they walked. While they were walking, Draco had almost slipped and fell, which caused the rest of the group to roar in laughter while Draco pouted the rest of the way to Hogsmeade. 

Once they were right outside of the small village, things turned sour. Hermione, Ron, his sister, and the twins, Fred and George, approached the group. 

“Draco Malfoy you are a complete asshole!” Hermione shouted as she began storming her way over to him. 

“Name calling isn’t a nice thing to do Granger,” Draco replied coolly. 

“Hey Draco '', Jarum said as the rest of the Gryffindor’s approached their group, “I didn’t know there was a girl Weasley, you’d think living in poverty would encourage them to use contraceptives. I guess not though.” The Slytherins all cackled in amusement. 

“Shut up Crange”, Ron said, his nostrils flaring. 

Like Draco, Jarum enjoyed getting a reaction out of people. She was having way too much fun. “Forgive me if I’m not exactly shaking in my boots Weasley. Besides, you saw what I did to Goyle, it’d just be a downright shame if the same thing happened to you.” 

Ron backed away from her, but still continued to glare at her. Pansy spoke up, “Anyways Granger why did you decide to verbally attack Draco on this lovely Saturday morning.” 

“He’s the reason Buckbeak might be sentenced to death,” Hermione answered. 

“That stupid chicken,” Daphne scoffed, “Merlin get over it, you Gryffindor’s are so dramatic.”

Draco and Jarum looked at each other, both confused, “How do you know about that Granger,” Draco inquired. 

“I overheard you two talking about it the other day in the broom closet,” Ron said. 

“Didn’t your mother ever tell you it was rude to eavesdrop Weasley,” Jarum spoke condescendingly. 

“Like you care about manners,” Hermione scoffed. 

Jarum opened her mouth to retort but Hermione had pressed her wand against Draco’s Adam’s Apple. Everyone else drew their wands, each pointing it at a member of the opposite house. For a moment it was completely silent, Jarum could hear her heartbeat in her ears, it was deafening. 

After several moments of silence Ron spoke up, “Hermione he’s not worth it, let’s go.” Hermione out her wand down and began to walk away, until Draco just had to open his mouth. 

“Filthy mudblood.” She turned around and punched him in the face. 

As the rest of her friends went to check on Draco, Jarum rolled her eyes in redrew her wand. Did Draco deserve to get punched in the face? Without a doubt. But still Jarum couldn’t let her get away with punching her closest friend in the face. Though, she was slightly impressed. She placed her wand gently under Hermione’s chin, making direct eye contact with her. Her mesmerizing and inquisitive, rich chocolate eyes bored into her. It felt like her soul was being stared at, like she could see right through her, Jarum didn’t like it one bit. She didn’t enjoy the feeling of wanting to stare into Hermione Granger’s doe eyes for hours on end, she hated the feeling and she hated Hermione. 

Hermione’s eyes briefly flicked down to Jarum’s lips, and Jarum raised her eyebrows in surprise at the motion, perhaps her mind was playing tricks on her. But she pushed her surprise aside, because she saw the other Gryffindor’s advance toward her. 

She sneered before shouting, “Take another step and I swear I’ll permanently hex her mouth shut. But then again, I’d be doing everyone a favor.” Jarum didn’t even know how to do that, but it worked because they stopped walking towards her. 

“Now Granger, why don’t you go run along with your poor little friends, and stop worrying about a stupid chicken. And I suggest you tell your friend Ron to mind his own business. Like I said before, meddling in my affairs won’t end well for you.”

“You still haven’t followed through on your threat and it’s been over a month Crange. I’m starting to think you’re all bark and no bite.”

Jarum adjusted her wand so it was pointing at the base of Hermione’s throat, she began to push lightly, so Hermione would feel the need to cough. 

“We both know that’s not true. Besides you stopped meddling in my business, like the good, smart girl you claim to be,” Jarum smirked cruelly. 

“Fuck you.”

“Mm. I suggest you don’t even spend the day at Hogsmeade, I’d hate for things to get physical.”

She pressed her wand harder into Hermione’s throat until it became a struggle for the girl to breathe, “Now leave with your friends Granger. Normally as a farewell, I’d spit in your face, but you’d probably enjoy that.” When she removed her wand from Hermione’s throat, she began coughing and sputtering. She turned around and left, taking the Weasley’s with her. 

Jarum let out a breath, she didn’t even know she was holding, she turned to face her friends, who were still looking at Draco’s nose. 

“What’s wrong with him?” She asked.

“His nose is fractured,” answered Blaise, “we might have to take him to the infirmary, which would ruin our day.” 

“No it’s okay I’ll snap it back into place.” 

Draco’s eyes widened in fear, “Jarum do not fucking touch me. You don’t know what you’re doing.”

She rolled her eyes, “Oh shut up, how hard could it be.”

She placed her hands on his face, her thumbs on his nose. She began feeling his nose, until she felt where it was fractured. She gently snapped the bone back into place as Draco screamed loudly. 

“Feel better, drama queen?” She asked.

“Yea, thank you I guess,” he said reluctantly. 

“Don’t mention it, just buy me whatever I want today, I know you can afford it.”

He rolled his eyes, and the Slytherin group walked into Hogsmeade. They spent the rest of the day there and Jarum actually had fun. She didn’t have friends before coming to Hogwarts, she had always felt lonely. But now she felt…less lonely. It was nice, having friends, having people to talk to. However, she was slightly annoyed, as the image of Hermione’s eyes were burned into the back of her brain. 

***

It hadn’t even been a second that Jarum had gotten back from Hogsmeade when chaos seemed to ensue. Firstly, everyone in Hogwarts was running around the castle like headless fucking chickens. Secondly, everyone in the Slytherin house was crowded in the common room, she spotted Marcus and walked over to him. 

“What’s happening?”

He rolled as his eyes, “People are being fucking ridiculous, apparently Sirius Black attacked the Fat Lady Portrait and everyone has to sleep in the Great Hall tonight.” 

“What the fuck, I’m not sleeping in the Great Hall,” Draco exclaimed next to her. 

Marcus gave him a sarcastic smile, “Looks like you have to sunshine.” 

Jarum scoffed, “This is utter horse shit.” 

Marcus turned to her, “I agree Jarum, but we are literally being forced to, since this school is actually deciding to care about our safety for once. I’m so glad this is my last year.”

Professor Snape came in and announced that they had an hour before they were forced to move into the Great Hall. She was the first one to finish getting ready in her dorm so she sat on her bed quietly, playing with her fingers. It was a habit that she picked up on since she was little. A nervous habit that she did when she felt out of her element, which was quite often. 

Her mindless finger fiddling was interrupted by Daphne saying, “So, Jarum, do you like Draco.” 

“Yea he’s a cool friend I guess.”

Pansy chuckled, “No she means do you have a crush on him.”

Jarum was stumped honestly, because she didn’t like Draco and she felt extremely guilty about it. Because he was attractive and pureblood, what more could she ask for. Jarum had been so busy forcing her mother’s lesson about liking into her head, that she somehow forgot to force herself to like boys. But if she had to force herself to like boys then that would mean that she’s—no there’s no way. No no no, she  _ had _ to like boys, she  _ did  _ like boys. Because if she didn’t, then her life would basically be over. It just wasn’t possible, those feelings she felt when she thought about girls weren’t real. Jarum liked boys, her liking boys meant she was safe. She had to like boys, it was crucial to her survival. 

“No I don’t have a crush on Draco, we’re too good of friends,” she answered simply. She needed to get the attention off her love life—asap. She turned to Pansy, “What about you and Blaise, huh. You guys have been spending an awful lot of time together in the library.” 

Pansy blushed and began to babble mindlessly about her crush on Blaise. Jarum resumed fiddling with her fingers. She was terrified of what would happen when her mother inevitably tried to set her up with a pure blood boy, when she was older. Jarum didn’t want her life to be controlled and dictated, but she also didn’t want to die. She had to survive. 

***

Marcus had thought it was a wonderful idea to hold an impromptu quidditch meeting in the midst of a killer roaming the campus. He said it was because they were all there anyways and they would probably be up all night. 

The seven of them were gathered in a circle as Marcus droned on and on about the Gryffindor strategies from previous years. 

“Shouldn’t we be focused on Ravenclaw,” Jarum asked, “We’re scheduled to play then first.” 

“No one cares about Ravenclaw, they suck, Gryffindor is our main competition,” Adrian answered. 

“Right, back to what I was saying,” Marcus continued, “Potter is their main threat, I don’t care how you do it, but make sure he doesn’t catch the snitch.” 

Jarum rolled her eyes, because isn’t that literally the main point of the game, to make sure the opposing team’s seeker doesn’t catch the snitch. She kept her mouth shut, though. 

“You know Marcus,” Cassius began, “I still don’t know why you let her on the team. I mean does she look that much like her sister, that you developed a soft spot for her?” 

Jarum bit the inside of her cheek, Marcus told her that she was genuinely talented, and that she would make the team better. But now that it was brought up, Jarum wondered if Marcus only let her on the team because of his attachment to her older sister. It infuriated her, everyone always preferred Jaia over her. Her mother, her father, back when he was still alive, and now the students at Hogwarts. The way people worshipped her, for no good reason. People still talked about her in these halls, even though she graduated last year. She didn’t  _ need  _ Jaia to prove she was worth something and she never will. 

Before she could say anything back, Marcus came to her defense, “Shut the fuck up Warrington, you’re just mad because she’s a better beater than you. This year we are winning that Cup by any means necessary. And her being on the team will help guarantee that. I don’t wanna hear any more complaints, are we clear? 

The rest of the team nodded and while Cassius simply snarled, but didn’t say anything else. Jarum nodded to Marcus in thanks and he nodded back. The fact that he came to her defense made her feel slightly better, but it didn’t change the fact that Jaia was always seen as better than her in every facet of her life. Jaia was the prettier sibling, the smarter sibling, the more resourceful sibling, and she was more useful to her mother. She sighed heavily, now she was definitely not getting any sleep, with her mind running at a thousand miles and hour. 

Draco nudged her, “You okay?”

She stared at him in fake wonder, “Wow is the Draco Lucius Malfoy concerned about someone other than himself, color me shocked.” 

He rolled his eyes and shoved her lightly, “I’m serious, I don’t have a sibling that I get compared to, and I’m basically perfect in every way, but I was just checking.”

Jarum snorted in laughter, of course Draco would find a way to compliment himself, “Yea Draco I’m fine.” 

Maybe one day she would open up to him, but not now, even though he was her close friend, she still didn’t trust him. She didn’t trust anyone, it was safer that way. 

“Hey lovebirds,” Draco and Jarum heads snapped up to whoever was talking, “pay attention,” Adrian said. 

“We’re not dating,” they said simultaneously. 

Everyone else in the circle looked at them disbelievingly before the meeting continued. Jarum was brought back to her thoughts from earlier, about boys. She disassociated from the rest of the meeting, she would ask Draco to catch her up later. Even if she did like girls, which she didn’t, it’s not like she would be able to explore that part of herself. Her mother has eyes everywhere and everyone else was either in love with her sister, or hated her. Either way, people were watching Jarum like a hawk. 

The meeting ended soon and Marcus had finally let them go to bed. He could talk for days and days about quidditch. Jarum and Draco had fallen asleep right next to each other, his head resting gently on her shoulder. 

***

The whole day had been a disappointment for Harry Potter. He couldn’t go to Hogsmeade with his best friends. And when they get back, they tell him that they were tormented by a group of Slytherins—it doesn’t take a genius to figure out which group of Slytherins it was. 

Then the man who is trying to kill him, somehow snuck into the castle, attacked the Fat Lady portrait, and now they were being forced to sleep in the Great Hall. 

So yea Harry’s had a pretty shitty day—a pretty shitty year actually. On top of everything happening, he had begun to pay more attention to Draco Malfoy. Well, he’s always paid really close attention to Draco, but it was a different kind of attention. 

It was probably just because he became a lot more unbearable since the younger Crange girl started attending Hogwarts. To make things even worse, she was always with Draco. It’s like they were attached at the hip. Which was weird, because normally Draco kept people at arm's length or he treated them like some kind of servants. But he didn’t do that with Jarum. It frustrated Harry to no end, because she deserved the same harsh treatment that he and everyone else gets from Draco Malfoy. Harry was actually envious of the girl, because she got to be close to Draco, and he didn’t. 

He sighed and rubbed his forehead, this got the attention of Hermione who was sitting across from him. They were the only two awake, Harry couldn’t sleep for obvious reasons, and Hermione was restless as well. Ron had gone to sleep hours ago. 

“You okay Harry?” 

“Yea Mione I’m alright. I’m just a little stressed out.” 

“That’s understandable.” 

They sat in silence, for quite some time. Just enjoying each other’s company, until Hermione nudged him and nodded her head in the direction of where the Slytherin students were sleeping. He looked up and saw Draco and Jarum sleeping together, his head on her shoulder. 

Hermione’s bitter statement barely registered in his ears, he felt his head pounding, but it wasn’t because his head hurt, “I guess Ron was right about what he said in the beginning of the year, they are a disgusting pureblood couple.” 

Harry didn’t acknowledge her statement, he couldn’t take his eyes off the sleeping figures. He clenched his jaw before laying down to try and go to sleep. Just when he thought his day couldn’t get worse, it did. He just decided to sleep before something else unexpected could be thrown at him to put him in an even worse mood. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, the next chapter is going to be a very big one, in terms of plot and background stories.


	5. Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: for emotional manipulation, emotional abuse & and referenced child abuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So two more OCs are introduced in this chapter, Jilda and Sterling, and I think those the the last original characters I'm going to introduce for now. Also, in case it wasn't clear before, Jarum and Jaia are black, specifically mixed. As far as height goes, right now Jarum is about 5'5, but by them time of 6th year/7th year she's going to be around 5'10. And the characters in this story are more closer to their book height, rather than their movie height. Okay that's all enjoy!

“Stop being a fucking cunt Jarum, are you on your fucking period?” Draco asked rudely. 

It was currently the day before their first quidditch match of the season, and the Slytherin quidditch team was getting a last minute practice in. All week, especially during practice, Jarum and Draco had been getting into petty arguments. They were both insanely nervous and drowning in anxiety because both of their extremely hard to please parents were going to be in attendance. Both of their tempers rising and clashing, was a concoction for numerous fights between the two. 

Jarum scoffed before retorting, “Are you on yours?”

“I will shove you off your broom right now Crange.”

Marcus flew over to the fighting duo and pushed himself between the two of them, “Both of you shut the fuck up, for crying out loud. You guys have been arguing for the better part of thirty minutes. I understand your nervousness, but if you guys keep fighting we aren’t going to get anything done. No more fighting for the rest of practice or you’re both suspended. Now, Jarum go with Cassius and work with him for the rest of practice, Draco come with me.” 

Jarum let out a sigh of annoyance before flying over to Cassius. To everyone’s surprise the two beaters had actually gotten along and played well as a tandem. They had long gotten over their differences and Cassius accepted her as a member of the team. They weren’t necessarily friends per say, but they got along great as teammates. 

“Got into another argument with Draco,” he asked. 

“He can be such an ass sometimes.”

He chuckled, “You know, if I were Marcus I’d let you two fight it out.”

She snorted, “Please he loses his shit over breaking a nail, I think I could handle him just fine.”

He laughed loudly and reached over to nudge over her, “Come on let’s go hit some bludgers at the chasers.”

The rest of practice went smoothly, due to the fact that Draco and Jarum were on their best behavior. When practice ended and the two were walking back to the castle, Draco spoke up, “You’re still a cunt you know.”

Jarum punched his shoulder, “So are you.” They both glared at each other before eventually smiling at one another. 

“We really have been at each other’s throats this whole week haven’t we?” said Draco. 

“Yea well we’ve both been pretty stressed, for the same reason.”

He ran his fingers through his hair, “I guess you’re right, we have to win that quidditch game tomorrow. I’m pretty sure your mother and my father are very similar and he wasn't the nicest person after I lost to Potter two years in a row.” 

Jarum swallowed, she was almost positive her mother was worse than Draco’s father. She was no stranger to her mother’s wrath, especially when she was angry. 

“Yea we’re winning tomorrow, by any means necessary. Like Marcus said right.” 

They had arrived at the Slytherin common room, “Right, well rest up and I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night.” 

“Night.” Jarum headed up towards her dorm and went straight to sleep—well she tried to. Too many thoughts. So much anxiety. She only hoped tomorrow would go the way she planned. For once. 

***

Standing alone at the entrance to the quidditch stands, Jaia was freezing her ass off, “I knew I shouldn’t have worn a fucking skirt” she muttered to herself. 

Her turtleneck, short checkered skirt, and thigh high boots weren't nearly enough to keep her warm. She hugged herself to try and generate some warmth. She had apparated to the game early, for two reasons. One, to get away from her mother for a while and two, she wanted to see Marcus again. Despite being her ex, he was still her best friend and the only person she ever trusted.

“Do my eyes deceive me or is that Jaia Crange.” 

She whipped around, only to be met with the shining green eyes and the dimpled smile she fell in love with. Or more accurately had shattered her heart beyond repair. It felt as if all the oxygen had been sucked out of the air, she could barely breathe. 

She walked closer to the Ravenclaw until they were a few feet apart, “Sterling,” she said, almost breathless, “you have a lot of nerve trying to talk to me, you know after what you did.”

He looked her up down, his eyes pausing at the uncovered portion of her legs, “About that, look I’m sorry, hurting you was never my intention, and you know that.”

He tried to grab her hand but she batted it away, “I don’t wanna fucking hear your pathetic apology,” she looked around making sure they were alone, “I  _ loved  _ you and you broke my heart Sterling. You broke my heart and you  _ used  _ me. Like I was some kind of fucking toy.” 

Jaia was pissed off, she already regretted coming, seeing Sterling was just a reminder of all the pain and heartbreak she had endured her seventh year. She was so used to everyone falling at her feet, that him taking her heart and destroying it blindsided her. 

He grabbed her hand, and this time she let him, “Look I’m really sorry, seriously. I was just so fucking immature and stupid last year that I lost the best thing that had ever happened to me.” He moved a piece of hair behind her ear, “You look even more beautiful now.”

She looked up at him and her expression softened, she was always putty in the attractive boy’s hands. He leaned down to kiss her, but she put her hands on her shoulders to halt him, “Sterling I can’t—I can’t do this right now okay. I need to go find Marcus.” 

He looked away angrily, but before he could respond they heard a voice say, “So this is why you broke up with me, for some mudblood pretty boy who doesn’t give two shits about you, or any of the girls he sleeps with!?” 

Thank Merlin it was just the three of them, because no one else had known that she had dated/ slept with the muggle boy during the last half of her sixth year, and her entire seventh year at Hogwarts, much less fallen in love with him. 

She turned around to face the person who had interrupted, “Marcus I-“ 

“Nothing you have to say can excuse this,” He gestured towards the Jaia and Sterling, “I don’t want to see your fucking face ever again” He began to stomp away towards the Slytherin quidditch locker rooms. 

She turned back around to face Sterling, she gave him a tight lipped smile, “If you'll excuse me, it was nice seeing you again Sterling.” 

As she began to walk away he grabbed her wrist, “You're going to go after him? Seriously? Come on just stay with me”, he gave her a suggestive smile, “We still have some before I need to get ready for the game, let’s do what we used to do, for old time’s sake.” 

She snarled at him and smacked his hand away, “You are a fucking prick, fuck, you really haven’t changed a bit have you?” 

She walked off, towards Marcus, when she heard Sterling shout after her, “You’ll come back sooner or later! You’ve never been able to resist me Jaia!” 

Jaia flipped him off over her shoulder and started walking faster, hoping to catch up to Marcus. She spotted him in the castle, and started jogging to catch up to him, nearly rolling her ankle. Trying to run in heeled boots definitely wasn’t the smartest thing she’s ever done. 

She finally caught up to him and grabbed his wrist to spin him around, “Marcus I can explain.” 

“Explain what Jaia, how you broke up with me for a mudblood, why’d you do it huh? Seriously, I wanna know. Was it because he’s better looking than I am?” 

Truth was, during her sixth year, her mother had put so much pressure on her about marrying Marcus as soon as she graduated. But Jaia didn’t want to get married, she was only 16 years old at the time. She had her whole life ahead of her, there was so much she wanted to do and marriage would only drag her down. So as a secret rebellion to her mother, she broke up with Marcus and had secretly begun dating, well more like sleeping with Sterling, who was a muggle. 

She was desperate for forgiveness at this point “Marcus, there was so much pressure being put on me at the time a-and I wasn’t thinking straight and I wanted to act out against my mother and I’m so sorry,” she gently cupped his face, “you’re still my best friend, always have been and always will be be.” 

He looked away from her before gently removing her hands from his face, Jaia felt her heart shatter. She was content with losing everyone else but Marcus. He was the one person she didn’t think she could handle losing. 

When he spoke to her, it was in a softer tone, “Did you not want to get married to me? Was I not good enough for you?” 

“Marcus of course you were—“ 

He cut her off, “Oh that’s right, no one is ever good enough for the one and only Jaia Crange right,” he sniffed, tears forming at the corner of his eyes, “like you said, we were best friends, we would’ve figured something out. You were all I had, Jaia. But what you did, was so fucked up, and you had the nerve to lie about it too. I should’ve known better though, lying is one of your strengths isn’t it.” 

“Marcus I’m so sorry,” she felt tears cloud her vision, she was going to lose her best friend, the one person who truly cared about her. 

“I just can’t be around you right now. I have a game to play, I’ll see you later.” 

He walked away from her, and she quickly wiped her tears. She was so livid at herself, how could she be so stupid and careless, especially towards Marcus. As she began walking back towards the pitch, she noticed the stands were filling up. She quickly located her mother and sat down next to her. 

Jilda Crange gave her eldest daughter a once over before saying in a sickly sweet voice, “Jaia, dressing like a harlot isn’t going to get your ex boyfriend back.” 

She rolled her eyes, “Nice to see you too mother”, she deadpanned.

Her mother’s eyes shot to her, “Watch your tone with me child, or it is going to be a very long day for you,” her mother’s fake smile returned, “Here comes Lucius Malfoy, be on your best behavior.” 

Draco’s father walked over to the two of them, “Ah, if it isn’t the only and only Jilda Crange, it’s so nice to finally meet you,” he kissed her mother’s outstretched hand and Jaia made a face of disgust. 

Once Jaia was introduced to him, the two adults quickly fell into a conversation and Jaia was easily forgotten, it was going to be a long game. 

***

Jarum had quietly been conversing with Draco, when Marcus had stormed into the locker room, fuming. Everyone on the team was looking at him. He took a deep breath before saying, “If we lose to Ravenclaw, I will hex each and every one of you until you can’t fucking breathe, have I made myself clear?” 

Everyone nodded and he motioned for them to follow him out onto the pitch Jarum felt her nerves rise as she spotted her mother and Draco’s father locked in a conversation, while Jaia was sitting with her arms crossed and a pissed off expression. 

As she was staring up at the stands, Draco nudged her, “Hey it’ll be okay, we got this.” 

“Yea, just catch the fucking snitch Malfoy,” she smiled at him. 

“Please,” he said while mounting his broom and Jarum did the same, “have a little faith in me.” 

The two flew up and along with the rest of their team and the Slytherin stands cheered loudly for them. She flew over to Cassius, her fellow beater. Marcus was their keeper, Adrian, Theo, and Blaise were the chasers, and Draco was the seeker. Jarum gripped her club and her broom tight in her hands. She couldn’t afford to be nervous right now, not when the game was about to start. As the balls were released she spat the excess saliva in her mouth down at the ground. 

Cassius smiled at her, “Let’s go kick some Ravenclaw ass Crange.” 

She smiled back at him and the two began to fly towards the released bludgers. 

***

It was late in the match and Jarum was utterly exhausted, they were down by 30 points. Everyone else on the team had played a nearly perfect game, except for Marcus, their keeper. Normally it was considered a rarity to score on him, but the Ravenclaw chasers were scoring on him left and right. The only reason the game was even close was because of their chasers putting points on the board and because Jarum and Marcus were doing a good job at hitting the bludgers towards the Ravenclaw cheers. 

She turned to see Draco neck and neck with the Ravenclaw’s seeker, both of them chasing after the snitch. She had to do something to secure this win, and quickly too, because if she didn’t she was fucked

She wiped the sweat off brow and searched for the nearest bludger, she spotted one near Cassius. 

“Warrington,” she shouted, “hit the bludger towards me.” 

He looked at her, confused, but he obliged and hit the bludger in her direction, she flew towards it. If her plan was going to work, she needed to time hitting the bludger just right. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Draco and the other seeker round a corner, right into her line of sight. The bludger was coming closer to her, but she needed the two seekers to be more in her line of vision. Right as she got as close as she could with the bludger, the two seekers were perfectly in her line of sight and she swung the club and hit the bludger towards the Ravenclaw’s seeker. 

Right as his hand was about to make contact with the snitch, the bludger hit Ravenclaw’s seeker in the side and he was knocked off his broom. This allowed Draco to grasp the snitch in his hand, thus securing Slytherin’s victory. The audience exploded in cheers and Jarum could barely hear herself thinking because of all the noise. Meanwhile the announcer was shouting frantically. 

“WHAT A PLAY MADE BY CRANGE TO HELP MALFOY CATCH THE SNITCH, UNBELIEVABLE!” 

In the stands, when the bludger had made contact with Sterling, who was the Ravenclaw seeker, Jaia was the first one to hop out her seat and shout, “Yes! Take that you fucking prick!” When her mother and Lucius had looked at her weird she simply responded, “I’m just, uh, passionate about quidditch.” 

Draco had flown over to Jarum with the snitch in his hand and the biggest smile on his face, “I caught the snitch because of you, I’m so fucking happy I could kiss you right now.” 

Disgust quickly crossed Jarum’s features, “Please don’t.” But she returned her friend’s smile. 

He nudged her, “Told you we would win.” 

“Yea whatever Malfoy.” 

They flew down to where the rest of their team was, and once their feet touched the ground everyone from the Slytherin house was congratulating them. Their team made their way over to them and Cassius and Adrian lifted Jarum off the ground by her legs and on their shoulders. 

“How bout this fucking girl right here huh,” Cassius shouted gleefully, “made the game winning play in her very first quidditch match.” 

The crowd cheered even louder and started chanting her last name. Jarum felt as if she were on top of the world, this was by far one of the happiest moments of her life, which wasn’t saying much. She spotted her mother in the outer ring of the circle that had gathered around the team and asked Adrian and Cassius to put her down. Once her feet hit the ground she walked briskly over to her mother. 

She had barely opened her mouth before her mother said, “Lucius meet Jarum, my youngest.” She didn’t even notice the man standing next to her mother until he was introduced to her. 

She shook his hand, “Yes you are quite the quidditch player, and Draco has told me a lot about you.” 

She smiled charmingly, “All good things I hope.” 

“Yes, all good things.” 

Draco walked over and he was introduced to her mother in the same fashion he was introduced to her father. After a few minutes of conversation the two Malfoys went to go speak in private while Jarum was left alone with her mother. 

Jarum began to talk excitedly, “Did you see me mother? Did you see the play I made?!” 

“Yes I saw, everyone did”, her mother said in a bored tone. 

Jarum’s smile slightly diminished at her mother’s disinterest, but she kept persisting, “It couldn’t have been possible without you giving me a broom, thank you so much for that by the way.” 

Her mother sighed, and said in the same disinterested tone as before, “Yes well I only did that so Jaia would have a reason to go to Hogwarts to investigate the Sirius Black claims. I’m sure she told you that. ”

Jarum felt her heart drop, her mood quickly going from joy to a suffocating sadness. Dejection was spreading rapidly throughout her body. 

“Well all the students and even the rest of my team are saying that I’m a great quidditch player, one of the best beaters they’ve seen in years actually.” 

Her mother turned to face her fully and put her hands on her face. Jarum wished she could revel in the touch, she wished it was her mother trying to comfort her. Jarum held back tears, because it wasn’t a loving touch, not in the slightest. It was a touch that was meant to control her, her mother often put her hands on her face when she was about to tear her apart from the inside out. 

“Jarum,” she began gently, that was even worse. Jarum hated how the gentleness of her mother’s harsh, abrasive words could completely destroy her. It was a brutal paradox, the gentle touch, the gentle words, all had cruel intentions. “My child, you are nothing.” 

Jarum allowed a hurt expression to cross her face before it quickly shifted back to neutral, her eyes remained sad. She couldn’t show any emotion in front of her mother, that would make everything worse. 

Her mother caressed her scar and Jarum had to physically restrain herself from flinching, she had a huge aversion to people touching the one flaw on her face.

Her mother continued, “You are nothing, you have no worth to me, no value. You being a decent quidditch player means nothing to me. You haven’t done anything to help the cause—our cause of hopefully bringing the Dark Lord back. Now Jaia for example, she is everything I want in a daughter. She is irreplaceable, priceless,flawless even,” Jarum clenched her jaw, because of fucking course Jaia is perfect in her mother’s eyes, “but you, you are  _ nothing _ , my child.” 

“I’ll do better mother I promise,” Jarum pleaded desperately, there was nothing she wanted more than her mother’s approval. 

Her nodded, “Don't make promises you can’t keep, and don’t you dare cry. I can’t have you being seen as weak.” 

Jarum swallowed the immense lump in her throat and choked back more tears. 

“Now if you’ll excuse me,” her mother said while taking her hands off her face, “I have places to be.” 

And just like that her mother was gone, she apparated to who knows where. In the middle of the pitch people were still celebrating, the crowd hadn’t dispersed in the slightest, in fact it seemed to have gotten bigger. Jarum was still on the outside of the circle. It’s funny how she was in such close proximity to people who adored her for making the game winning play, yet in that moment she had never felt lonelier. 

Suddenly, all the noise was too loud in her ears and her chest felt hollow, as if her mother had taken her heart with her cruel, gentle words. She started to walk back to the Slytherin locker room when she bumped into Draco. 

“Woah,” he said, noticing the expression on her face, “You okay?” Jarum felt so many conflicting emotions, because Draco was still smiling, his father approved of how he played, he was  _ something  _ to his father. 

As badly as she wanted to explode at Draco and scream at him, she couldn’t, she couldn’t do that to her best friend, not when he was truly happy at the moment. She gave him the best smile she could manage, “We’ll talk later, you should go celebrate with everyone else.” 

He nodded and watched as she made her way back into the locker room. Jarum entered the locker, and then entered the girl’s side only to find her sister wiping her tears away in the mirror. 

“Find somewhere else to cry. I don’t want to deal with your shit right now.” 

Her sister’s eyes snapped up and she whipped around to face her, “And what could you possibly be upset about Jarum. You’re the hero of the day, you made the game winning play,” Jaia in a mocking tone. 

“Oh nothing much really, just mother saying I mean nothing to her, while you’re her everything, you know the usual shit. Why’re you sad, I thought you were perfect, and according to mother perfect girls don’t cry,” Jarum spat angrily. As fucked up as it is, Jarum was happy to see her sister cry, giddy even, finally someone was feeling a semblance of the pain she was in. 

Jaia scoffed, “If you must know, I lost my best friend today because of some stupid ass shit.” 

Jarum put the pieces together, “Holy fuck, that’s why Marcus was off today, because you got into his head. Tell me what you did.” 

“I left him for a muggle boy during sixth year and lied about it.” 

Jarum laughed, she actually fucking laughed. Real side splitting laughter. She couldn’t believe her sister, that was really her biggest issue in life. 

“What’s so fucking funny Scarface.” 

“Jaia you really are, the most spoiled bitch on the planet aren’t you? I mean your biggest issue in life is being a two-timing whore. Big deal. You have such a nice life and don’t even realize it.” 

Jaia scoffed, her temper rising, “My life is far from easy, mother is putting so much pressure on me and it feels like I'm _ suffocating _ . And call me a whore again and I swear on everything I will kill you.” 

“Awwww, the little princess gets some pressure put on her and she can’t handle it. You wouldn’t last five fucking seconds in my shoes. Do you have any idea what it’s like to get told that you’re nothing by your own fucking mother? No you don’t know because you’ve been the favorite our while fucking lives!” Jarum was shouting now, but thankfully no one else could hear them. 

Both sisters were heavily panting before Jarum continued her rant, “People fall at your feet Jaia, they worship the ground you walk on, and I don’t fucking know why. You’re everyone’s first choice including mother and father. Always front and center. You’ve always been their perfect little girl and I’ve been cast aside like I was nothing! So don’t sit here and try to make it a competition about whose had it worse because I guarantee you this a challenge I will  _ finally  _ beat you at.” 

“Yea well it’s not my fault our parents never fucking loved you, I mean it’s not my fault you’re a complete and utter fuck up! It’s not my fault I’m perfect in their eyes and you’re not. So be envious all you want, because her perspective of you is  _ never _ going to fucking change.” 

The two sisters were only a few feet apart now, a physical fight was bound to break out between them soon. 

Jarum smirked cruelly, “Maybe you’re right, but you want to know what is your fault sister?” 

Jaia knew where this was headed, “Jarum don't fucking say it.” 

She didn’t listen, when she spoke she was eerily calm, “it’s your fault I got this fucking scar.” 

Before she could continue Jaia interrupted her, “Ahh yes the famous scar, of course you decide to bring that shit up. Tell me little sister, if your scar wasn't on your face would you be so fucking dramatic about it?” 

“Fuck you.” 

“Fuck me? I’m the only one in the family who’s ever cared about you.”

“No you’re a liar, you always have been, don’t try to act all high and mighty when you’re just as bad as mother and father.”

“Oh I’m sorry was it me who held you down and dragged a cursed knife down your face?” Jaia asked sarcastically. 

“No but you’re the reason it happened. See that’s the thing about you Jaia, you’re such a dirty little lying slut, all you’ve been doing your whole life is lying. Lying to father, to Marcus, to everyone. And so far it’s hurt everyone around you. That’s why when people finally see your true colors, they distance themselves from you, no one wants to be friends with a fucking selfish liar. But one day, one day Jaia it’s going to come back and bite you in the ass. Karma is the biggest bitch of them all. And I will be cheering the loudest out of all the people you fucked over when that happens.” 

Jaia back handed her across the face, her rings cutting into her younger sister’s lip. “I told you not to call me that again. You don’t know how to keep your fucking mouth shut do you? You know Jarum, mother was right. You are  _ nothing _ and you never will be. I hope mother kills you so everyone can forget about you and you fade into oblivion. The most you ever accomplished in your whole miserable life is being my sister, and that’s all you’ll ever be. My ugly, flawed, good for nothing sister who never accomplished a damn thing in her whole life. You know Jarum everyone would be happier, if you didn’t exist, you’re so waste of fucking space and oxygen, you always will be.” 

At her sister’s words her temper fizzled out at her sister’s words and she finally allowed herself to feel the hurt that had been building up since her mother touched her face at the quidditch pitch. 

She choked back a sob before saying, “I hate you.” 

At her younger sister’s face, Jaia immediately felt the stabbing pain of regret in her chest, “Jarum I’m sorry I didn’t mean any of it-“ 

“Just get out Jaia.” Her sister left in a hurry, sending a concerned glance over shoulder before leaving Jarum alone. 

She couldn’t hear anything except the vicious pounding in her ears, she couldn’t see anything due to the tears that were obstructing her vision. She gripped the sink and looked up in the mirror. She didn’t see the girl who had made the game winning play, she didn’t see the girl who she thought she was, she didn’t see the girl she wanted to be. When Jarum Crange looked in the mirror she saw what everyone had described her as,  _ nothing. _

“I am nothing,” she said to herself. 

Her body felt as if it were on autopilot, she wasn’t in control when she reared her fist back and slammed it into the mirror, again and again and again. The bloody shards clattered to the floor, and the mirror was so broken that Jarum could no longer see her reflection. She saw nothing. 

“Are you okay.” 

Jarum whipped around and saw Hermione fucking Granger of all people standing at the doorway to the Slytherin locker room. If Jarum was feeling like herself she would’ve said some smartass remark, maybe held her wand to her face, but she didn’t feel anything, no emotions, no feelings, it’s like she had shut down. 

“No,” she simply replied, “I’m not.” 

Hermione hesitantly made her way over to her and gently grabbed her hand. Jarum let her because it wasn’t like the gentle touches her mother gave her, no this touch, carried care and concen.

“You broke the mirror,” Hermione stated obviously.

“Yea I guess I did.” 

“And your lip”, Hermione hesitantly reached up to touch Jarum’s face and she flinched away at first, because she was so used to being slapped. But after she saw the hurt expression on the other girl’s face, she nodded and Hermione gently touched the part of her lip that was cut and she leaned into the touch ever so slightly. She almost started crying because this girl, this beautiful girl that she had been so terrible to was treating her with such kindness and she was touching her so gently and filled with care that Jarum couldn’t remember the last time someone had touched her with that much care, if anyone ever had at all. 

“My older sister, she um slapped me.” 

Hermione made a face filled with sympathy, “I’m sorry.” If Jarum had felt like herself she would’ve shoved Hermione away and yelled at her, saying she doesn’t need her pity, but Jarum had no more fight left in her. 

She began pulling the glass shards out of Jarum’s hand and she winced slightly, she really shouldn’t have punched the mirror that many times, but she couldn’t help herself. Jarum never allowed herself to cry, so she had to allow herself to feel pain somehow. 

“Granger—I mean Hermione.” 

“I didn’t know we were on a first name basis now,” the Gryffindor joked lightly while still pulling shards out of her hand. 

“Do you think I’m nothing?” Jarum asked earnestly, she was extremely fragile and vulnerable at the moment. She couldn’t help but seek validation, even if it was from the girl she claimed to hate. 

Hermione’s soul searching eyes snapped up to meet Jarum’s gaze. For a moment she didn’t say anything, she was just looking in her eyes searching for something, Jarum didn’t know what. As Hermione looked into her eyes, Jarum couldn’t help but notice her beauty once again, she could stare at Hermione for hours on end and never get bored. 

Finally Hermione spoke to her gently, “I think you are a lot of things. I think you’re smart and really funny, even though sometimes you’re unkind to others. I’ve observed you a lot Jarum and there’s so much more to you than you know. There’s so much you have to offer.” 

Jarum’s eyes were shining with tears and a single one escaped and ran down the length of her scar, Hermione reached up to touch it but Jarum’s cold hands gently grabbed her wrist in mid air, it was so different from the death grip she had on Hermione’s wrist on that one day in hallway,“Please don’t, not now.” 

She let go of Hermione’s wrist and it fell to the other girl’s side. Hermione had finally finished pulling the shards out of her hand and she whispered, her voice deafening in the otherwise silent room, “I think you should visit the infirmary.” And without another word Hermione slipped out the Slytherin girl’s locker room. 

“Fuck me,” Jarum cursed loudly to herself. She turned around and started washing some of the blood off her hand so Madam Pomprey wouldn’t have an aneurysm when she saw her. 

Self hatred seeped into her veins, because she shouldn’t have been that vulnerable with Hermione fucking Granger. She shouldn’t have let her touch her, she shouldn’t have even let her look at her. She shouldn’t have let herself think that the other girl was beautiful. 

Jarum decided she could hate herself later, because suddenly a smart, wonderfully awful idea popped into her head. She allowed a smirk to slowly grace her features as the idea slowly formed into a well thought out plan within the confines of her brain. She would show her mother that she was worth something. She would  _ finally  _ prove herself. And Hermione Granger was going to help her. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for, reading Chapter 6 should be up soon.


	6. Liars never have pure intentions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jarum puts the first step of her "plan" in action. tw for homophobic slurs and hate speech

“Granger!”

Hermione could have sworn she heard someone call her name as she walked across the Wooden Bridge. The weather had turned into a piercing cold as snow began falling to the ground, turning Hogwarts into a freezing, but beautiful peaceful paradise. It was more quiet now than ever on campus, the snow blocked out a lot of noise. Hermione pulled her Gryffindor scarf tighter around her neck as she continued walking. 

“For fuck’s sake Granger are you deaf!” 

Hermione whipped around and saw Jarum Crange jogging slowly up to her. She hadn’t really seen much of the other girl since that day in the locker room. Jarum was clearly upset about letting her normally strong walls crumble to dust in front of Hermione. The two had barely made eye contact since that day. So Hermione found it odd that Jarum was approaching her so openly and out of nowhere. 

She rolled her eyes, “No need to be rude, I didn’t hear you the first time you called my name.”

Jarum let out a breath of air, “Right, I’m sorry. I just needed to talk to you about something.”

Hermione raised an eyebrow in suspicion, Jarum never seemed to apologize on her own free will. It was strange to say the least, that she had apologized to her like it was no big deal. 

“Well what do you need to talk to me about?” 

Jarum looked around at the students on the bridge, presumably to make sure no Slytherins were in their vicinity, and she grabbed Hermione’s bicep and tugged her out of the way of the light foot traffic on the bridge. Hermione took note of the way she guided it, it wasn’t aggressive or rough, it was actually gentle. She couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that this was the same person who had left dark purple bruises on her wrist. 

Jarum wet her lips slightly, if Hermione had been looking anywhere else then she might’ve missed it, “Look, I’m really thankful for what you did in the locker room a few weeks ago-“ 

Hermione cut her off, “You’re welcome.” She was a little mad that the other girl hadn’t thanked her earlier, but better late than never. 

Jarum rolled her eyes with such force that Hermione thought they might fall out of her head, “I wasn’t finished Granger. I’m thankful for what you did for me, so as a token of my appreciation I decided that I should help you save Buckbeak.” 

If Hermione wasn’t suspicious before, she definitely was now. Firstly, Jarum wasn’t exactly the most generous or thankful person. Secondly, she didn’t even seem to care about Buckbeak and had referred him as a ‘stupid chicken’ multiple times. 

“Really? You’re that thankful that I pulled some mirror shards out of your hand? Which was something you could’ve done yourself by the way.”

Jarum wet her lips again before replying, “Yes Granger, I am that thankful, it saved me from a lecture from Madam Pomprey. So if I do you a favor, it cancels out and I don’t have to feel like I owe you.” 

When people lie, they have a tell, something that gives them away, let’s the other person know that they’re lying. Whether it’s a slight facial movement, such as a jaw clench, or something more obvious, such as shifting eyes. Jarum might’ve been a good liar, but she wasn’t as good as thought she was, or maybe she was and Hermione was just observant. Either way, Hermione had already figured out what her tell was. Plus she wasn’t stupid, she was the furthest thing from it. She knew the girl had an ulterior motive, she just had to figure what it was. 

Hermione pretended to deliberate over her decision, after a few moments she answered, “You know what, fine, can help. But you better be not lying to me, I can always tell if someone is lying.” 

“Wow Granger you are so incredibly humble it blows me away honestly,” Jarum snarked sarcastically before wetting her lips again, “but no I'm not lying to you. Besides even if I was, which I’m not, I don’t think you would be able to tell. I’m a pretty good liar.” 

Hermione wanted to laugh in the girl’s face because Hermione already  _ knew _ she was lying, but she kept her mouth shut.

Hermione huffed before saying, “Fine meet me in the library at 6 o’clock tonight, do not be late.” 

Jarum smirked, “Oh I wouldn’t dream of it Granger.” 

***

Jarum walked away from Hermione with a satisfied smirk on her lips, she had completed the first step of her plan successfully. Hermione didn’t suspect a thing, it was almost too easy. 

It was extremely aggravating to think about what happened in the locker room that day. How her mother had ruined her joyous mood. How she had gone from feeling like she was at the top of the world, to feeling like she was being dragged under a violent current of isolation, loneliness. 

Her fight with Jaia was also painful to think about, she couldn’t help but think if some of her older sister’s words were true. They couldn’t be right? But then again if her own flesh and blood thought of her that way, who knows what others might think. However, Jaia had been sending her several letters over the last few weeks, Jarum assumed they were apologies, she wouldn’t know, she never read them. They had been cast aside, ripped up, even fed to other people’s pets. Jarum didn’t want Jaia’s half assed, presumably narcissistic, apology. 

Lastly, there was her encounter with Hermione. Jarum had thought about it the most, before she went to bed at night, in class, during quidditch practice. Jarum wanted to bang her head into a wall, just so she could stop thinking about it. Hermione’s soft, uncalloused hands, the smell of old books that seemed to follow her everywhere she went. And lastly her eyes, those beautiful honey brown eyes. They were practically seared into her brain. Jarum didn’t know why she kept thinking about it, because she wasn’t  _ gay _ . She couldn’t be gay, unless she was begging for a death wish. 

She sighed heavily to herself, sometimes she contemplated creeping out of her bed at night to scream into the endless void, just to get all of those  _ thoughts _ out of her body. She wished she had someone to talk to. But who was she going to tell? Certainly not Draco, he was her best friend, but she knew he wouldn’t hesitate to sell her out if she told him what happened. 

Jarum continued walking to the Slytherin Dungeons, the only reason she had left was to find Hermione. When she entered she was greeted by Draco, “Fuck, what took you so long? We’re about to play exploding snaps get your ass over here.” 

“Why did you miss me Draco,” she smiled, “aww it’s okay I’m here now. I know you can’t stand to be without me for more than five minutes.” 

“Fuck off.” 

She removed her scarf and sat down in between Pansy and Daphne, Blaise was across from them, and Draco was next to him. 

The game started off perfectly normal, everyone was playing fair, but after a few rounds Draco began cheating, because he was losing, everyone should’ve suspected it. He was competitive by nature and hated losing. 

“You fucking peaked at my cards!” Daphne shouted. 

Draco scoffed, “No I didn’t you're clearly delusional.” 

“I literally fucking saw you Malfoy!” 

“Okay,” Blaise interjected, “It’s not that serious, it’s just a game of cards really.” 

“Oh no please continue, this is more entertaining than the game itself,” Jarum said gleefully. 

Daphne and Draco’s fight went on for another five minutes, they were screaming at each other, over a fucking card game. It all came to a screeching halt when Marcus came storming in from his dorm into the common room. 

“Do you guys ever shut the fuck up, holy shit!” 

Jarum grimaced slightly, he was still upset about what happened with Jaia, and Jarum didn’t blame him. However as a result of his anger, Marcus had been making the quidditch practices more strenuous than normal, Jarum blamed her sister for it. 

“What crawled up your ass and died,” Pansy asked jokingly. 

“Nothing, I'm just trying to sleep.” 

“It’s 5:50 in the evening, there’s no way you’re that tired.” 

Jarum didn’t even realize the time, she only had ten minutes to meet Hermione in the library she shot up out of her seat, “I just uh realized I had an extra credit essay due.” 

“Oh really,” Draco questioned, “In which class.” 

“Transfiguration, you know I’m complete shit at that class.” 

Draco nodded and said, “See you at dinner.” 

She waved bye to the rest of her companions and began to make her way towards the library. 

***

“Hermione, I don’t understand why we have meet here instead of in the common room, like we normally do,” Ron complained while cradling his pet rat Scabbers, against his chest. 

“You’ll see in a minute and why did you bring that hideous rat of yours.” 

“Scabbers isn’t hideous,” he defended, “I’m surprised you didn’t bring that pig with hair you call a cat.” 

Hermione rolled her eyes and she saw Jarum enter the library and hesitantly walk over to the table she, Harry and Ron were sitting at. 

“Uh hi.”

The two boys whipped around at the sound of her voice, “Absolutely not,” Ron protested. 

Ron stood up and walked over to her, until they were face to face, Jarum was wearing an amused smile, and Ron was giving her the best death glare he could manage. 

She looked past Ron and over at Hermione, “Are you going to call off your guard dog?” 

“Ron just sit down okay and we can talk about this,” Harry reasoned. 

Ron’s nostrils flared and he allowed Jarum to pass by him and take a seat next to Hermione. The smirk completely vanished from her face when Scabbers crawled near her hand. She smacked the rat away from her and back towards Ron and Harry. 

“Why the fuck is there a disgusting vermin at the table?” 

“That’s my pet Scabbers, touch him like that again and you’ll regret it,” Ron replied while picking up the somewhat injured rat. 

Hermione rolled her eyes at the whole exchange, not even five minutes in and she could already tell Ron and Jarum were going to be the cause of her grey hairs.

“So, Hermiome tell me why this pureblood supremacist is sitting at our table. Her and her friends hate muggle borns,” Ron questioned angrily. 

Hermione took a deep breath, “Jarum has decided that she wants to be a part of recusing Buckbeak from his execution.” She looked at Jarum and the other girl gave her a somewhat appreciative smile. 

“And she decided to help out of nowhere,” inquired Harry, who was also suspicious of her. 

His question genuinely stumped Hermione, because how was she going to explain what happened in the locker room, without Jarum getting pissed off. 

Luckily Jarum spoke for her, “I guess you can say I’ve developed a conscious Potter. I feel guilty that an innocent animal is going to die because of my best friend. So I guess you could say I’m on his here on his behalf as well. Also my pureblood status would probably serve as an advantage.” 

“I don’t buy it,” Ron spoke up. Hermione didn’t buy it either, but she had to let her help because despite her obvious ulterior motive, Jarum’s family name could actually help save Buckbeak, to a certain extent. 

“Why’s that Weasley” 

“Well for starters, I don’t like you-“ 

“Ouch you are just breaking my heart,” Jarum deadpanned. 

“Two,” Ron continued, frustrated by the interruption, “people don’t change overnight, especially people like you. And three I’m also a pureblood, so my status would help as well, which means you aren’t needed.” 

“Here’s the thing Weasley no one respects your family, people practically treat mine like royalty. So yea my pureblood status is a bit more important than yours is.” 

Ron looked at her with pure hatred while Harry was still undecided on how to feel about her.

“If that’s the case why don’t you just tell your mum to tell Mr. Malfoy to call off the hearing and the execution, she has enough power to do that right,” asked Harry. 

Jarum narrowed her eyes at Harry, “Are an idiot? That’s not me being a bitch, I’m literally asking you if you’re mentally deficient, because of how stupid that question was. If my mother found out I was helping the three of you she would have fucking aneursym or a heart attack or somthing.”

Hermione clasped her hands together, before a full fledged argument could break out, “Right so are we letting her help us or not?” 

“Fine but I want an apology,” Ron stated. 

“An apology for what exactly,” Jarum countered. 

“For calling my family poor.” 

Jarum snorted, “You want me to apologize for telling the truth.” 

“It was fucking rude!” 

“It was the truth!” 

“Guys stop-“ Harry tried to interject. 

“Shut up Potter,” Jarum snapped. 

“Yea Harry shut up,” Ron said, clearly irritated. 

The two continued their argument while Harry and Hermione watched. 

“Why’re you still on that it happened over a month ago,holy shit, get over yourself. You Gryffindor’s are so prideful you can’t even bear to hear the truth.” 

“Because my family isn’t poor.” 

Jarum bit back her laughter, “Yea okay Weasley, and your hair isn’t red.” 

“Are you always this much of a bitch?” 

“Only on Monday through Friday.” 

“It’s Saturday,” Ron stated dryly. 

“I added an extra day to my bitch schedule, just for you Weasley.” 

Hermione was getting fed up at their bickering so she reached across the table and smacked Ron with a book, “Will you shut up!” 

Jarum mocked, “Yea Weasley listen to Granger and shut up.” 

Hermione smacked her on the back of the head, “That applies to you too.” 

Jarum and Ron rubbed where Hermione had smacked them while glaring at each other. “Now if we’re going to save Buckbeak, we have a lot of books on animal rights and animal execution laws to get through, and we’re not going to do that if you too keep arguing like five year olds!” 

“I uh agree with Hermione,” Harry awkwardly spoke up. 

Jarum huffed indignantly, “Fine I’ll play nice.” 

Ron just rolled his eyes and said, “Whatever.” 

Hermione handed each of them a thick book and animal laws and instructed them to read it thoroughly. It had actually been going well, until Jarum had found a picture of some hideous, ancient animal and flipped her book around to show Ron. 

“Hey Weasley, this is what you look like.” 

Ron rolled his eyes, “Real mature of you.” 

Harry actually snickered a little bit and that made Jarum smile slightly. Hermione sighed at the childish behavior she was witnessing, Jarum and Ron were seriously acting like two year olds and Harry was encouraging their antics. Hermione was well aware that Jarum didn’t exactly play well with others, but she didn’t know it would be this bad. 

After about an hour of them reading, and Ron’s complaining, Hermione finally decided that they were done for the night. 

“Thank Merlin, I didn’t want to miss dinner,” he left the library briskly, taking Harry him and the two girls were left alone. 

“You know you and Ron are more alike than you think.” 

Jarum scrunched her nose up in disgust, “That’s the most offensive thing anyone has ever said to me.” 

Hermione rolled her eyes, but didn’t comment on it further, instead she asked, “Do you have any plans for the holidays, break starts next week.” 

She half expected Jarum to tell her off or insult her, but she simply answered, “Yea the Malfoys are spending the holidays with us. And some gala that’s on Christmas day is being hosted at my family’s manor.” 

“Are all pureblood families invited?”

Jarum simply answered, “Yea every family on the Sacred 28 list is invited, even the Weasleys, though I highly doubt that they’d show their faces there.” 

Hermione simply nodded, suddenly shy. She had been alone with the other girl before but it felt…different now, ever since the locker room. 

“I could um walk you to the Great Hall,” Hermione offered. 

Jarum smirked her signature smirk, “I’d prefer if you didn’t Granger, thanks for letting me help though, I’ll see you later.” And she walked out of the library without another word. 

Hermione watched her leaving, clenching her jaw. Jarum Crange was so incredibly frustrating and confusing. She was like an inescapable labrinth, with infinite twists and turns. She seemed utterly impossible to solve. How could someone easily changehow they acted, just like that. How could she shift between hot and cold so easily. For now Hermione didn’t know the answer, but she was still determined to solve the elaborate puzzle that was Jarum Crange. 

***

After arriving in the Great Hall for dinner, Jarum quickly located her friends at the end of the table and sat down with a heavy sigh. 

“Did you finish your extra credit essay, for Transfiguration,” Draco asked. 

“Hm? Oh yea I finished it, it was a rough one.”

“Do you want me to look over it, make sure it’s good enough for McGonagall,” Blaise asked, he was by far the smartest in their friend group, he would be at the top of their class, if it weren’t for Hermione. 

“No, I think it’s okay, thanks though Blaise.”

The other boy smiled at her before Goyle leaned over, trying to insert himself in the group. Everyone rolled their eyes, already sick of his presence, over the past few weeks he had been interjecting himself into their conversations, trying to be their friend. Unfortunately no one really liked him and most of the shit he said was painfully ignorant. 

“I heard a rumour that Professor Lupin is a faggot,” he said to them, snickering. 

At his words Jarum dropped her fork, she didn’t feel like eating anymore. She didn’t want to be reminded of all the thoughts, the horrible thoughts of Hermione Granger. Her face paled and she felt as if her own throat was trying to suffocate her. All the background noise became a dull pounding, it felt as if she were under water. 

If Jarum had looked to her right, she would’ve seen Draco act in a similar manner. He was staring at his plate silently, as if all the life had been sucked out of him with Goyle’s statement. 

“I think it’s fucking sickening, being a faggot,” Jarum flinched slightyly at the slur, “Don’t you think it’s sick, Draco?” Goyle finished, desperate for Draco’s approval. 

Before either of them could get a word out, Daphne answered for them, “Why’re you concerned about it, it’s none of your business really.”

Goyle scoffed, “Why are you sticking up for him, are you a dyke Greengrass?”

This time it was Blaise who spoke up, “It doesn’t matter Goyle, people should live their lives however they want, like Daphne said, it’s none of your concern.”

Goyle huffed, clearly upset no one was agreeing with him, Jarum let out the smallest sigh of relief, she noticed Draco’s shoulders droop slightly, as if he was releasing built up tension. This confused Jarum, because it didn’t make sense that Draco was so tense when Goyle had said those slurs, she was surprised that he didn't jump at the opportunity to agree with him. The rest of dinner went on without any further incidents. Jarum barely ate though, neither did Draco, they barely contributed anything to the conversations the rest of her friends were having. 

She wanted to be alone, she  _ needed _ to be alone, she muttered, “Excuse me.” Before getting up, and walking out of the Great Hall. 

She didn’t make it that far when she heard footsteps following her, she half expected it to be Hermione, but when she turned around she was met with the sight of Draco jogging to catch up with her. 

“I just thought I could walk you back to the Dungeon.”

“Okay yea fine,” Jarum replied. 

As they walked back, the silence was nearly awkward, which was rare for the two of them. They were either always bickering, or talking, or laughing. It was rarely ever silent between them. Jarum was racking her brain for words, trying to find something, anything to fill the void of soundlessness

Draco was the first to speakand his words came out awkward, hesitant, “I noticed that you didn’t say anything when Goyle brought up Professor Lupin being...you know, a homosexual.”

Jarum huffed, “Yea well neither did you.” 

Draco held up his hands defensively, “No need to get all defensive, I’m just saying that if you’re like...that, you can tell me. I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

She looked down at her feet, the words at the tip of her tongue, begging to be released from their prison, but Jarum was unsure, she liked to look at girls, she thought they were pretty, beautiful even, but that didn’t make her gay right?

She breathed out lightly, “Well I’m not like...that. So you don’t have to worry, but you can tell me if you’re like... that. You’re my best friend Draco, I wouldn’t hold it against you.”

Draco seemed to hesitate before answering, “I’m not like that either, I was just saying.”

Jarum gave him a tight lipped smile, “Great.”

“Great.”

“I guess I’ll just go to bed early tonight, I’ll see you tomorrow, goodnight Draco.”

“Goodnight Jarum.” 

She watched Draco walk out of the common room and once she was sure he wouldn’t come back in, she pulled on her quidditch sweater and a scarf and creeped out of the Dungeon and headed towards the Astronomy Tower. 

“Fucking stairs,” she muttered to herself as she made the steep climb to the top. 

She stepped out into the biting cold and gritted her teeth, because she didn’t dress in nearly enough layers to keep warm, but she didn’t mind, she was used to the cold. 

She looked up at the clear night sky and smiled, for once it wasn’t snowing and Jarum could see the stars that lightly kissed the sky. She squinted as she tried to make out some of the constellations, it was an activity that greatly relaxed her. Just her and the night sky. 

She heard the door to the Astronomy Tower open, she whipped around, desperate to see who had interrupted her peacefulness. She was met with the sight of Hermione Granger bundled up in what seemed an infinite amount of layers, she turned back around and resumed looking at the sky. 

“How’d you know I was out here Granger?” Jarum asked as Hermione stood next to her. 

Hermione’s cheeks were a slight pink, Jarum assumed it was from the cold. “I followed you, I saw you walking in the corridors and I followed you out here.”

Jarum chuckled lightly to herself, “Of course you did.”

Jarum should’ve felt a stinging irritation, like she had before whenever she was in Hermione’ presence, but she didn’t. She was content, flattered even, that Hermione had braved the biting cold just to see where Jarum was at. Or maybe that was the hereditary narcissism controlling her thoughts, or maybe Hermione was suspicious of her. Either way, she wasn’t alone in the cold for once. 

“What are you doing up here, it’s freezing, are you not cold,” Hermione asked, shivering. 

“I like looking at the stars,plus I don’t really mind the cold that much, winter is my favorite season” Jarum replied simply. 

“Why is winter your favorite season,you don’t prefer a warmer season, like fall or spring?”

“Winter is a unique season. Everything is dying, the plants, even some animals, yet it has a way of making those dying things look beautiful. It makes death look beautiful in a way.” 

Hermione contemplated her words for a moment before saying, “So you like the fact that winter is an oxymoron in a way, because it makes something that’s considered sinister, beautiful?”

Jarum allowed a small smile to grace her lips because she wasn’t expecting Hermione to understand her that easily, “Yea I guess you could say that.” 

“I guess that’s one way of looking at it, though I don’t understand why you like stargazing, they’re just dots in the sky.” 

She huffed and gestured for Hermione to come closer to her, once the other girl was right next to her, she pointed up at the sky, “If you think they’re just dots in the sky, you aren’t looking hard enough.” Jarum liked the sky because it made her feel small, in a good way. It reminded her that it was bigger than she, or anyone else she knew and that brought her comfort. 

“And what am I supposed to be looking for exactly?”

Jarum smiled at her, “Constellations of course,” she gently pulled Hermione closer to her. 

Hermione’s cheeks flushed even pinker, again, Jarum assumed it was because of the cold. 

“Look there’s Orion’s belt,” she said as she pointed to a line of three stars. “And look there’s Ursa Major and Ursa Minor.” 

Hermione turned to her, “Do you ever see any planets?”

“I think one time I saw Saturn, I couldn’t really tell, my eye isn’t as good as a telescope. Maybe I should get glasses, but then I wouldn’t want to look like Potter,” she joked.

Hermione giggled and Jarum decided she liked the sound. She should’ve thought it was annoying or shrill, but she  _ liked  _ the sound of Hermione’s giggle. Perhaps she was just caught up in the moment, maybe the stars and constellations had something to do with it, they always had a calming effect on her, that’s probably why she wasn’t pushing Hermione off the tower. 

“Do you see any other constellations, right now.”

Jarum looked at the sky and smirked, the opportunity had presented itself, and she wasn’t going to let it go to waste, “Yea I see one right now, it’ll probably be your favorite constellation.”

Hermione craned her neck to see where Jarum was pointing at, “Really what’s it called?’

Jarum barely contained her laughter as she choked out, “Draco.”

Hermione glared at her, “Real mature.”

Jarum was full on laughing now, she couldn’t help herself. She couldn’t believe Draco’s parents had actually named him after a constellation. When he told her, she thought he was joking until she looked for it herself. 

She realized Hermione had been staring at her as her laughter halted, “Why are you staring at 

me Granger?”

“I didn’t know you had dimples,” she stated simply. 

Jarum’s smile slid off her face, she had dimples, they just never came out unless she was genuinely laughing. Draco and Jaia were the only two other people who had seen them, until now. She internally cursed at herself. She couldn’t let herself get sidetracked from her plan, which didn’t include her making friends. 

She hesitated slightly, “I better go inside, I’m not wearing enough layers and I don’t want to get hypothermia... or something.”

She turned and quickly made her way through the door, hurrying inside and down the stairs before Hermione could even get a word out. Out of all the people in the school what are the chances Hermione Granger would be the one to follow her up there. Draco didn’t even know she was up there. And she had actually treated Hermione like a friend, which was a huge mistake. Hermione Granger was not her friend, and she would never be her friend, she was just using her for information that would lead her mother and her accomplices straight to Sirius Black. 

  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, next chapter is going to be a big one!


	7. Crybaby (Christmas 1993)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter I've written so far, 7k+ words. Inspired by the sing Crybaby by Melanie Martinez. This chapter is heavily centered around Jaia. Tw for mention of eating disorders (it's very brief and I didn't go into detail but I'd rather be safe than sorry), and sexual harassment.

Going home for the holidays normally filled anyone with joy, happiness, regardless of what their family was like. The festive celebrations should be enough to improve the mood of even the most dysfunctional of families. Unfortunately for Jarum, her family was a lot more than dysfunctional, it was messy, filled to the brim with jealousy, ulterior motives, and manipulation, even though there were only three of them left. It’s why she felt an overwhelming sense of dread as she stared up at her family’s huge manor, the same place where her father was killed, not that she was sad about it, he deserved it. The longer she looked at the manor, the quicker the dread spread throughout her body, infectious as ever. 

She was definitely not looking forward to hearing her mother’s scathing remarks and she didn’t even want to see her sister’s face. Plus with the Malfoys staying with them, things were bound to get interesting to say the least. 

She was broken out of her trance as Draco walked up beside her, lugging his trunk behind him, he somehow had managed to pack two months worth of clothes, even though they were going to be there for less than two weeks. He looked at her manor in awe, “Fuck, Jarum your manor is big as shit.” 

Jarum held back an eye roll, the manor was not a very welcoming place. Secrets lurked within every nook and cranny, it was cold, oftentimes desolate. And a house that big has more than enough room for skeletons in the closet. 

“Yea let’s just go inside,” she muttered. 

When the two finally reached the door, it swung open before either of them could knock, they were greeted by Jarum's mother, Jilda. 

She gave them a smile that Jarum knew was fake, all gums and perfect white teeth, “It’s so nice that the both of you have finally arrived.” She stepped aside and allowed them to enter the manor. “Oh and Draco, Narcissa and Lucius should be here soon.”

Jarum looked around the inside of the manor, noting that no changes had been made since she left for Hogwarts. Everything had been kept spotless, the black walls, the giant chandelier, even the floorboards, her mother hated if even one thing was out of place. Jarum occasionally felt bad for the house elves,because they had to routinely scrub the huge manor spotless. Her eyes flitted around the main room until they landed on the huge portrait of her mother and father. 

Strangely enough, the portrait didn’t move, neither one of the paintings of her mother and father talked or spoke, it was just a regular portrait. Her mother’s flawless umber skin tone had juxtaposed her father’s pale complexion. Anyone with eyes could come to the conclusion that as far as looks went, Jarum’s parents were a beautiful, maybe even flawless couple. Too bad that was far from the truth. Too bad they were manipulative, wicked, and not an ounce of good was shared between either of them. 

“Jarum”, her eyes snapped up at the sound of her mother’s voice, “Dinner is at six o’clock, make sure you and Draco are not late, if you’re late, you don’t eat.” 

Draco eyes widened while Jarum simply nodded, “Yes mother.” 

Jilda gave another fake smile, “Good. Now show Draco where he will be staying and give him a tour. I expect you to be on your absolute best behavior his entire stay.” And without another word her mother turned on her heel and began to walk in the direction of the massive kitchen, presumably to go yell at the house elves. 

She looked at Draco who had begun staring at the great portrait as well. Jarum rolled her eyes, “Draco, my house is not that interesting. Come on, I’ll show you to the room you’ll be staying in.” 

The two began to walk up the stairs and Jarum gave him a quick tour and history of the house, leaving out all of the dirty history and secrets. There was probably a lot more gruesome shit that happened throughout the manor’s history that Jarum didn’t even know about, more skeletons in the closet. She only knew what Jaia told her, and Jaia only knew what their mother told her. So that left a lot of history and secrets unknown. 

She stopped at the door of one of the guest rooms, “This is where you’ll be sleeping, my room is right down the hall and to the left. We both know you can’t go without me for more than five minutes.”

“Fuck off, but show me your room, I wanna see the exact loaction where you no doubt spent most of your miserable childhood.”

“You’re an asshole, but follow me.” She led him down the hall and opened the door to her room. 

Like the rest of the house her room hadn’t changed, except for the cleaning. However on her bed was a forest green dress, made of satin material. She picked it up and held it against her body. It was an off the shoulder full length gown, with a slight slit going up the left leg

“I guess this is my dress for the gala.” 

Draco squinted his eyes, analyzing her dress before saying, “The suit my father sent me matches your dress, do you think that was on purpose?” 

Jarum rolled her eyes, because what kind of question was that, “No shit you moron, our parents probably want us to go together.” 

Draco scrunched his nose in mock disgust, “I don’t wanna go with you.” 

“Please it’d be an absolute privilege to go to any event with me.” 

“Says who?” 

“Says me you asswipe!”

Before they could continue their bickering, someone knocked on the frame of Jarum’s bedroom door. Both of them turned to see who had knocked, only to be met with the sight of Jaia. 

Jaia. Jarum was still rightfully pissed about what she had said in the Slytherin locker room. But as she took in the sight of her sister, a cigarette between her middle and forefinger, she could tell something was off with her. Jaia was normally so elegant, well put together, not a hair out of place, but she just looked  _ off.  _ To the untrained eye, Jaia looked as flawless as ever, but Jarum sensed something was off because she  _ knew  _ her sister. She saw the extra makeup under her eyes. And Jaia never smoked unless she was extremely stressed out. 

Jaia took a long puff of her cigarette and exhaled the smoke towards the ceiling, before saying, “Draco your parents are here, you should go greet them while I have a word with my baby sister.” 

Draco gulped, he was weirdly afraid of Jaia, but he obeyed and left Jarum’s room, leaving the two sisters alone. Tension sat over the room, much like the smoke Jaia had just exhaled. 

“That’s a nice dress,” Jaia commented mindlessly while walking over to Jarum’s bed and sitting on it, still smoking her cigarette. 

“Okay, put that out. I don’t want you getting ashes on my bed,” Jaia rolled her eyes before waving her hand and making the cigarette effortlessly disappear, “And cut the shit, why're you in my room Jaia? I thought you didn’t waste your time with people who mean nothing to you.” 

Jaia nervously picked at her lips, a habit Jarum had thought she grew out of, “I’m sorry, Jarum. I was just upset because of Marcus and Sterling–“ 

“Wait, Sterling as in the Ravenclaw seeker, who I knocked the shit out of with a bludger? That’s the muggle boy you left Marcus for? Jaia, he’s such a pussy,” Jarum groaned. 

Jaia rolled her eyes at the interruption from her little sister, “Yes that’s him. Can I finish my apology now?” When Jarum nodded Jaia continued, “Like I was saying, I was very upset over what happened and I took it out on you and I shouldn’t have. I should’ve been happy for you, or at least said something to make you feel better.” 

“Wow I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you genuinely apologize for anything.” 

“It’s actually the second time, the first time I ever apologized was to Marcus. By the way did you even read any of my letters?” 

“No, I ripped them up.” 

Jaia sighed, “Of course you did, so am I forgiven or are you going to make me grovel?” 

Hearing Jaia give a genuine apology was something she didn’t expect and Jarum mostly forgave her, plus she was still her sister,so it’s not like ahw could stay mad at her forever, “Honestly Jaia, I do forgive you, but you have to pay reparations for the damage you caused.” 

Jaia let out a sigh of annoyance, “Fine how much do you want.” 

“200 galleons.” 

“200 galleons,” Jaia scoffed, “are you out of your fuckin mind, 100 galleons take it or leave it.” 

“My my sister, you’ve become cheap. 175 galleons.” 

“Absolutely not.” 

“150 and I won’t tell mother you left Marcus for a muggle. We’d both know she’d have a fucking field day with that one.” 

Jaia rolled her eyes, but gave in and tossed Jarum the money. “All is forgiven”, Jarum stated, elated that she had gotten her way. 

“Yea yea sure, has Marcus mentioned me lately?” 

“No but he’s been pissed. And by pissed I mean he’s taking all his anger out on the quidditch team by making us do these grueling practices, so thanks for breaking his heart by the way,” Jarum uttered sarcastically. 

Jaia rolled her eyes and got up from Jarum’s bed, “I’ll see you at dinner, if you need me, I will be in my room. But don’t disturb me unless it’s an absolute emergency, I want to be left alone.” 

Jarum rolled her eyes and nodded, her sister could be so dramatic. 

***

When Jarum said she had forgiven Jaia, she really meant it. But, that didn’t mean she would pass up a rare opportunity to get under her sister’s skin. 

The two families were seated at a circular table. Jilda and Lucius were at the two heads of the table. Jarum and Jaia were placed next to their mother, while positioned across from each other. Draco and Narcissa were seated in similar positions. Draco was sitting next to Jarum. 

They were in the midst of eating dinner when Jarum spoke up, eyes full of mischief, “So Jaia, I was reading the Daily Prophet the other day and I stumbled across the most interesting list. It contained the most desired, eligible bachelorettes in Britain. And guess who was at the top of the list at number one, you. I was extremely proud that my own sister not only made the list, but was named the most desired bachelorette in all of Britain. Quite an accomplishment really.” 

Jaia nearly choked on her food, if it’s one thing she  _ hated _ talking about, especially in the presence of their mother, it was marriage. 

Jaia forced a smile and gritted her teeth at Jarum, “How interesting Jarum, I had no idea I was even on that list. I’m so grateful that you’re always looking out for me. However I’m only 18 years old.” 

“Practically an old maid don’t you think,” Jarum fired back, without missing a beat. Draco snickered while Jaia kicked Jarum’s shins under the table. But it didn’t deter her, Jarum continued, “Anyways, as I was reading I couldn’t help but wonder if you’re bringing a date to the gala. I mean I’m going with Draco and it'd be a shame if my heavily desired older sister showed up with no one, seeing as Marcus isn’t exactly an option for you at the moment.” 

Jarum could see Jaia’s jaw twitch in anger, she could tell her sister wanted to jump across the table and strangle her, but before she could retort their mother answered, “Jaia doesn’t need to worry about finding a date, I already had something arranged for her.” 

Both sisters gave each other confused glances across the table before turning to look at their mother, “Who will be my date mother?” 

“Corban Yaxley,” she replied dismissively. 

Across the table, Jarum could see Jaia’s eyes widen fearfully, just for the smallest of moments, before returning to normal. It was peculiar, to see fear take place in her sister’s eyes, Jarum didn’t think Jaia was scared of anything. She was always so confident and put together that Jarum didn’t think it was possible for even an ounce of fear to exist in Jaia’s body. 

“Mother he’s thirty five years old and I don’t turn nineteen until February surely there must be someone closer to my ag-“ 

Her mother cut her off, “Jaia do not argue with me, especially in front of our guests, he will accompany you to the gala and that's final.” 

Jarum looked at her sister from across the table, Jaia had a panicked expression on her face. She supposed her sister’s panic was justified, she was being forced to go to the gala with a strange man who was nearly twice her age. But her sister would be okay, she could take care of herself. Right?

A few minutes of silence went by before Jaia excused herself, “I need a cigarette.” 

“I thought you quit that nasty unladylike habit,” Jilda scolded with her nose turned up in disgust. 

“Yea well progress isn’t always linear mother.” 

***

Jaia was currently doing her nightly routine of staring at herself in her vanity mirror. As she examined her reflection she felt the familiar feeling seep its way into her veins. 

Self hatred. 

Was Jaia vain? Extremely. Was she a narcissist? Most likely. But Jaia never really  _ liked _ herself. In fact, she hated who she was. 

It was strange, her whole life she was described as beautiful, flawless, gorgeous, but those compliments never helped her love herself. They made her think that her good looks were all anyone ever valued and it utterly destroyed how she felt about herself internally. 

The only person Jaia ever sought validation from was her mother, especially when she was younger. Jaia wanted to be perfect in her eyes, that was the only thing that mattered to her. 

Unfortunately she never quite met her mother’s expectations. She always found some sort of flaw with whatever she did. 

When she was younger, her mother claimed she ate too much. 

So Jaia stopped eating. 

When she was older, her mother claimed Jaia ate too little. 

So Jaia ate so much to the point of throwing up, and she continued that cycle for  _ years.  _

And it wasn’t always just about her weight or figure, it was about her grades, her hair, her mother picked apart every little thing about her, the tiniest of details never went unnoticed. 

Each and every time her mother picked her apart, Jaia would run herself ragged trying to be the perfect daughter, but it was never enough. Jaia would never be perfect and that ate her up inside. 

Jaia had striven for perfection her whole life, she allowed herself to be molded into a seemingly flawless daughter, and because of that she never truly loved herself, ever. She couldn’t remember a time when she looked into a mirror and was happy with what she saw. 

So as she stared in the mirror she began to pick apart every little flaw she could on her face, like her mother would. 

The medium sized mole her left eye, that she covered up with makeup. Her eyebrows were slightly uneven. Her face wasn’t symmetrical. The light acne on her forehead. She hated it, she hated the imperfections and she hated herself. 

But what she hated the most was that she lost the one person who made her  _ feel  _ loved, Marcus Flint. He didn’t treat her like some sort of goddess who descended from the fucking heavens, like everyone else did. He treated her like a normal person, and that’s all she ever wanted her whole life. He didn’t care if she wasn’t perfect, in fact he loved that about her. He  _ saw  _ her inner beauty, and he loved it. He loved her flaws. He loved her. And now he hates her. All because of some stupid mistake, the one and only time she decided to rebel against her mother, caused the loss of of the one person who truly loved her, inside and out. 

Jaia blinked back her tears as she lit another cigarette. 

***

Jaia and Jarum had started getting ready for the gala exactly four hours before it started. They both needed to look their best and exceed expectations, they were getting put on display after all. 

Jarum was sitting in front of Jaia’s vanity, while Jaia was behind her, combing out the kinks in her hair. On one particularly hard tug, Jarum winced and Jaia chuckled, “You were always so tender headed.” 

“And you were always so heavy handed.” 

Jaia rolled her eyes, “You know I’ve always been a little jealous of your hair,” she said as she began to tame Jarum’s mane of hair, and slick it up into an elegant high ponytail. Neither of them could afford to have even the smallest of hair out of place. 

Jaia could see Jarum’s eyebrows lift in surprise through the mirror, “Why? You have great hair.” 

“Yours is naturally longer, curlier, and you have a better curl pattern,” she shrugged. It was the honest truth, her sister had the most beautiful hair Jaia had ever seen. 

The two remained silent while Jaia finished working on her hair. Once she was done she spun her around in the chair to admire her handiwork. 

“Okay now I’m going to do your makeup.” 

“Don’t make me look stupid.” 

Jaia rolled her eyes while getting her makeup out, “Please, even I wouldn’t do that. Mother would be furious if either of us looked anything short of…perfect.” There was that word again. Perfect. 

As Jaia started to do her makeup, Jarum spoke up, “Are you okay, I mean I know your date isn’t exactly ideal.” 

“Don’t you worry about me little sister, I will be fine. I can take care of myself,” Jaia responded with as little emotion in her voice as possible. By taking care of herself, Jaia meant she would ditch her date and drink herself into oblivion, but she knew better than to mention that part to Jarum. 

“Okay I’m done.” 

“Really, that was fast.” 

“I just did your eyebrows, eyeshadow, mascara, and I covered up your scar as much as I could. Now go put your dress on. And I swear if your fuck your hair or makeup up from now to the time the gala starts I will kill you Jarum,” she threatened. 

“Yea whatever,” Jarum looked at herself in the mirror, “How come you didn’t put any eyeliner on me,” she pouted. 

Jaia smirked, “Only the cool bitches get to wear eyeliner.” 

“You’re not a cool bitch Jaia.” 

“I am too!”

“No you’re not!”

“Just get the fuck out my room!” Jaia yelled. 

She shook her head and began her long, slow process of getting ready. She spent an hour styling her hair, so she could wear it down without it being wild. She spent another hour doing her makeup, making herself look impeccable. 

Finally she slipped into her long black dress, it was similar to Jarum’s, but the dress was cut lower to reveal a slight amount of cleavage. Jaia frowned to herself, now every man in the building was going to be ogling her chest. 

Right as began slipping on her six inch black heels, Jarum started banging on her door, “Jaia, mother said if you don’t come out right now, you’re going to be in huge trouble!” 

Jaia swung her door open and was met with the sight of Jarum and Draco, “Will you calm your nonexistent tits? For fuck’s sake, I’m ready.” 

Jaia looked at Jarum and Draco both in matching forest green apparel. Draco a suit and Jarum a dress, they looked good together, too bad they would never be a couple. Jaia had a hunch that both of them were gay and her hunches were never wrong. 

“Draco you look nice,” she complimented. 

Jarum snickered, “He looks like a fucking idiot with his hair slicked back.” 

Draco ignored Jarum and looked at Jaia, who now was taller than the both of them, thanks to her heels, “Thank you, I’m glad  _ someone _ around here appreciates my good looks.” 

The trio was interrupted by Jilda walking up to them with a man trailing her, “Jaia there you are, come meet your date.” She gestured to the tall handsome man behind her, “Corban Yaxley, this is my daughter Jaia.” 

“So I’ve heard,” the man kissed her hand and it took everything in her not to physically gag at the gesture, “You’re much more beautiful in person.” 

“You’re too kind,” Jaia said with a practiced fake smile. 

“Unfortunately I need my two daughters to greet the guests coming in at the front, but once she's finished my eldest daughter is all yours for the night.” 

Jaia felt her heart rate increase and goosebumps creep up her body, a cold sweat was beginning to form at the base of her skull. Fear. Panic. She needed to stay as far away as humanly possible from him. 

Her mother led her and Jarum out to the front of the manor, so they could begin to greet the guests that were starting to trickle in. 

Jaia was bored out of her mind after only 15 minutes, but she’d rather be out here than inside with her atrocious, boderline pedophilic date. 

“I see Marcus brought someone.” 

That got her attention, “What where?! You’re fucking lying I don’t see him,” she craned her neck over the crowd of people, trying to spot Marcus. 

“Jealousy is not a good look on you. And honestly Jaia with those fucking heels I’m surprised you can’t see him. Don't pop a blood vessel trying to look for him, just wait til he gets up front.” 

Jaia’s throat began to close up and her breathing became slightly labored as she waited for Marcus and his “date” to reach the front.

Soon she was staring face to face with her ex boyfriend and some random girl on his arm. If Jaia was being honest, the other girl was a downgrade. Still, Jaia’s nostrils flared angrily as Jarum addressed Marcus. 

“Hey Marcus did you miss me,” she jokingly asked. 

Marcus grinned at her little sister, “No I was having quite the peaceful break from you and Draco. You look nice though,” he nodded at her, “Jaia.” 

“Marcus,” she nodded back. She wanted to say so much more. But him and his date slipped right past her and went inside. 

She couldn’t take this anymore, she needed several fucking drinks. “I’m going inside, this is bullshit.” 

“Um no you’re not, what about the greeting the guests you fucking twat?” her sister questioned. 

“I’ll send Draco out here,” she stormed inside the manor and quickly located Draco, who was locked in a conversation with Blaise Zambini. “Draco go finish greeting the guests with my sister.” 

“Where’re you going?” 

“None of your fucking business, now go.”

He obeyed and walked out front to join Jarum, and she made a beeline towards the bar. While she was walking, she grabbed a glass of champagne from a tray and downed the whole thing. 

Unfortunately the bar was crowded, fortunately Jaia didn’t give a fuck. She pushed her way through the crowd and immediately got the bartender’s attention, whose eyes traveled down to her chest and back up to her face, but his expression immediately shifted once he realized who he was undressing with his eyes. 

“What can I get for you Miss Crange,” he asked nervously. 

“A cigarette and three shots of fire whiskey.” 

The bartender handed her a cigarette, lit it for her, and quickly poured three shots of the dark alcohol in front of her. She knocked back all three shots back to back to back and the other partygoers looked at her in surprise. She ignored them and looked at where people were dancing as she smoked. Her eyes landed on Marcus and his date, he was happily spinning her around in circles. Laughing. 

He used to spin her around in circles. 

He used to laugh with her. 

He used to love her. 

Jaia felt something inside her break. Maybe it was her heart, maybe it was all the walls she had built up to keep her emotions in check. Either way, something inside her had broken and couldn’t be fixed, at least not now. She threw the cigarette down on the hardwood floor and crushed it under the toe of her high heeled shoe. Some poor house elf would deal with it later. The music, the noise, everything was drowned out as she made her way to the nearest bathroom and locked the door. She quickly cast a  _ muffliato _ charm to ensure no one would hear her. 

Once the first sob escaped, the floodgates opened. Jaia Crange broke down. In a fucking bathroom at a gala. She knew it was pathetic, she knew she was pathetic. But she couldn’t help herself, everything just came crashing down at once. Marcus, Sterling, her insecurities, her mother, the date her mother had set her up with. Everything. 

Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the sink while crying. Jaia was never a pretty crier, she thought she looked horrid when she cried. She let out heart wrenching sounds she didn’t even know she could make. Her body was wracked with sobs as the dam was finally broken. Everything that had been building up had finally broke free. 

And it felt good. It felt so fucking good. Jaia couldn’t remember a time where she had ever cried this hard and it felt fucking good. If she knew crying felt this good she would’ve done it ages ago. She looked in the mirror, her makeup ruined and smudged, “If only mother could see me now.” She must’ve spent at least an hour or two in that bathroom, crying until her body could no longer produce tears. 

She soon figured she should get back to the gala, her mother would be absolutely livid if she found out Jaia had spent most of the gala crying in the bathroom. She muttered a spell to fix her hair and makeup and she left the bathroom, looking as if nothing had happened. 

She walked over to the bar, which was fortunately less crowded. 

“Give me another cigarette and a whole bottle of firewhiskey.” 

The bartender’s eyebrows raised as he fished out another cigarette, lit it, and slid her a small bottle of firewhiskey across the bar. She rolled her eyes, because she was hoping for a bigger bottle, but she would make due with what she had. 

She took a large puff of her cigarette before gripping the bottle by its neck and chugging down half of its contents. She was no stranger to chugging, she had been an absolute party girl in her tenure at Hogwarts, she had nearly gotten alcohol poisoning multiple times. The fiery liquid burned down her throat, but she was satisfied with the tingling feeling that bloomed in her chest once the alcohol settled in her stomach. 

If she wasn’t drunk before she definitely was now and the cigarette’s effects were starting to kick in. She felt, happy, happier than she had in a long time. Like she was floating. She grinned to herself. 

“There you are,” she turned around to see her dreadful date approaching her, “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” 

She slurred her words ever so slightly, “Well I’ve been here, mingling and what not.” 

She took another puff of her cigarette and exhaled the smoke in her date’s face. She could see the man’s patience wearing thin. Good. Maybe if she’d annoyed if him enough he’d leave her the fuck alone. 

“Would you care to dance,” he plucked the cigarette from her lips, put it out on the nearest ashtray, and he offered her his hand. 

Jaia wanted to say no, but she didn’t really have a choice, so she took his hand and allowed herself to be pulled onto the dance floor. 

His hand curled around her waist and pulled her in close. She didn’t like it one bit. He smelled like burnt rubber and old leather. Being this close to him made her feel uneasy. She hoped he didn’t smell the alcohol on her breath. If he knew she was drunk, that could end very badly for her. Her reflexes obviously weren’t as sharp and her magic was subpar when she was intoxicated.

His hand began to travel lower but she grabbed it on but it back on her upper waist, she was used to this, men trying to grope her. Like she was some sort of object. 

He gave her a predatory smile, “Feisty aren’t you? That’s okay, I like a challenge.” 

Despite her drunkenness, Jaia felt fear grip her heart for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. She needed to get away. 

Before she could squirm out of his arms someone spoke up, “Do you mind if I cut in?”

She looked up to see Marcus giving her date a death glare, his hand gripping his wand subtly in his pocket. 

“No not at all,” her date replied angrily and he left the two teenagers alone. 

Marcus gently put his hand on her waist and gripped her hand softly. She felt at ease in his arms, she felt safe, Marcus made her feel safe. He smelt of cinnamon and cedar wood. She briefly recalled smelling the exact same scent in her Amortentia potion during sixth year, before breaking up with him. 

“Hi”, she whispered breathlessly.

“Hi.” 

“Marcus I–“ 

“We don’t have to talk about it right now. Just dance with me.” 

She nodded and leaned her head on his chest and it just felt right, like entering heaven after spending years in hell. She frowned up at him, eyes dropping slightly, “Where’s your date?” 

Marcus met her gaze, “I ditched her, I realized I had a more important obligation.” Jaia smiled against his chest, he still cared about her, after everything. 

Jaia accidentally missed a step and stumbled and Marcus noticed, “Shit Jaia how much have you had to drink?” 

Her words came out slurred, “Like, t-three may-maybe four.” She smiled goofily at him, “You’re so cute,” she began running her hands sloppily over his face, “Such a nice face.”

He removed her hands from his face, “Okay let’s get you upstairs.” He began leading her away from the crowd and towards the stairs, but they were stopped by Corban Yaxley. 

“Where do you think you’re going with her?”

Jaia could see Marcus clench his jaw, “She’s drunk out of her fucking mind, I’m taking her upstairs, away from everyone else.” 

“Well let me take her, I’m her date after all. I’ll make sure she gets to bed” the smile he gave Jaia made her stomach drop to her ass. 

Despite her drunk state, Jaia managed to produce a sentence coherent enough to get her point across, “I want Marcus to take me upstairs, not you.” 

Marcus gave the man a sarcastic smile, “You heard the lady.” 

As they walked past Marcus shoved Yaxley with his shoulder,  _ hard _ , and Jaia allowed a slight smile to cross her face when he heard the older man cough heavily at the action. 

He led her up the stairs and to her room. Unfortunately once they reached her room, Jaia felt the bile rise up in her throat. She rushed to the connecting bathroom and bent over the toilet just as she started throwing up all the contents in her stomach. 

As she was throwing up she felt gentle hands grip her hair out the way and hold it back for her. Marcus must’ve been her guardian angel, she didn’t deserve him in the slightest. 

When she finally finished, slightly sobered up, she slumped against the toilet. Tears pricking her eyes due to her excessive vomiting, she was certain she looked as bad as she felt. She glanced over at Marcus who was looking at her with an expression she didn’t recognize.

“I’m such a fucking mess Marcus.” 

“I know, it’s okay.” 

“No it’s not, I’m such a fuckup, everything is all one big steaming pile of shit and it’s all my fault.” 

Marcus crouched down in front of her and lightly cupped her face with one hand, “Not everything is your fault. Yes you’ve made mistakes, but everyone does Jaia. No one is perfect, not even you, and that’s okay.” 

Jaia felt a few tears slip out, breaking up with Marcus was definitely the stupidest thing she had ever done. She  _ needed _ him, she just didn’t want to admit that to herself. 

When she didn’t answer Marcus picked her up off the floor and carried her to her bed, bridal style. “Come on let’s get you to bed.” 

Marcus started by hastily removing her smudged makeup off her face. He gently gripped her face in one hand and wiped her makeup off with the other. Next he attempted to remove both of her heels. He nearly broke the strap in frustration, because his hands were too big to undo the clasp. 

“Stupid fucking heels,” he said as continued to struggle with the clasps

Jaia swatted his hands away, “Let me do it, these heels are expensive as fuck and if you break them my mother would probably kill you.” 

He didn’t reply to her, but he did smile up at her and Jaia felt herself smiling back. 

He unzipped her dress and turned around as she got changed into her pajamas. Jaia appreciated the gesture, the last thing she wanted was to be stared at, even if it was Marcus. 

She laid down under the covers and Marcus made a move to leave, but she called out, “Wait. Marcus can you stay? Please?” 

He hesitated, Jaia could see the conflict in eyes, but he eventually gave in and stripped down to his shirt and boxers and climbed beside her in the bed. 

“Can you hold me,” she asked quietly. She needed genuine human affection now more than ever, after being deprived of it for so long. 

He scooted closer to her and wrapped his strong arms around her from behind. “You know,” he began speaking into the silent air, “I read all of the letters you sent me, every single one of them. And I forgive you, I could never stay mad at you Jaia. And I know you don’t feel the same, but I’ll always love you, wholly and unconditionally.” 

Wholly and unconditionally. When people claimed to love Jaia, it was always partially and was based on some sort of condition. But Marcus was different, he always has been. 

Jaia was glad that she was facing away from him because tears were shining in her eyes. She sucked in a breath and tried to keep her voice even, “Hurting you was the first and biggest mistake of my life, it was never my intention. But thank you for loving me and sticking around, no one else ever has.” 

She felt him nod and kiss her hair. 

If anyone were to ever ask Jaia if she loved Marcus Flint, she would deny it with everything in her. But deep down she loved him,she loved him with everything in her, she loved him so much that it hurt. She loved him so much that she couldn’t drag him down with her, he deserved the world and Jaia could never give him that. 

***

The day after Christmas, Jarum woke up to two small boxes on her nightstand, beside her bed. She sat up in her bed and grabbed the first box, the smaller one. 

She opened the first box and inside held a ring and a note. The ring’s design was her family’s emblem, a snake wrapped around a cursive C. The body of the ring was surrounded with small silver diamonds and the snake’s eyes were a striking emerald. She realized that it was the same ring her mother and her sister wore on their pinkies. 

She put the ring on her pinky and read the note that was in the box. 

_ My Dearest Jarum,  _

_ It is your 14th birthday and therefore it is tradition that you receive a family ring, put it on your pinky and never remove it under ANY circumstances. I will not be present, neither will Lucius and Narcissa, we all have business to attend to.  _

_ Your Mother,  _

_ Jilda Crange.  _

Jarum stared at the note for the longest time, reading it over and over and over again. It was her fucking birthday and her mother didn’t even wish her a happy birthday, she couldn’t even do it in the stupid note she left. But she was used to it, used to being the least favorite, getting scraps and leftovers of her mother’s love. Jarum slammed the box down on her nightstand and opened the second and larger box. Inside it contained the largest diamond stud earrings she had ever seen. 

She picked up the note inside and read it. 

_ Jarum,  _

_ Happy 14th Birthday, thank you for being such a great friend to my son Draco. I hope you love these earrings and have a great day. You are always welcome at the Malfoy Manor.  _

_ -Narcissa Malfoy.  _

Jarum allowed a small smile to grace her features. It’s funny how Narcissa wasn’t even her mother, and yet her note made her feel more loved, more appreciated. It was the small gestures that really made a difference to her. 

She heard voices right outside her door, whisper shouting. 

“I want to open the door! I’m her best friend.” 

“Sunshine, will you please shut the hell up and let me open the damn door, she’ll like my gift better anyways.” 

“Stop talking so fucking loud, I’m still hungover from last night, now both of you move before I hex your balls off.” 

Jarum laughed gently to herself as her door opened and she was met with the sight of Marcus, Jaia, and Draco. Seeing Jaia and Marcus stand next to each other was odd, but she assumed they were on good terms again, she did see them go upstairs last night. She was just surprised things weren’t awkward. She noticed that all three of them were holding a gift of some sort. 

Marcus rushed forward to her and scooped her up into a bone crushing hug, “Happy Birthday you fucking moron.” 

“Marcus put my sister down before you suffocate her, not that I would be complaining if you did manage to accidentally kill her.” 

Marcus let go of her and Jarum smiled at him, while discreetly flipping off her sister. He stepped back from her and gave her his present. Jarum opened it and it was a brand new beater’s bat, with her initials and number carved into the handle. Marcus rubbed the back of his neck, “Figured you’ll need it when we beat the shit out of Gryffindor this year.” 

“I love it Marcus thank you.” 

He smiled back at her, walked back over to her sister, wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and bent down to whisper something in her ear. 

“I didn’t know you two were back together,” Jarum stated out loud. 

Jaia rolled her eyes, “Mind your fucking business Jarum.” 

Draco walked over to her, “Okay it’s my turn.” 

When opened Draco’s present, her eyes widened in surprise. It was an expensive jade stone bangle with her initials carved into it, it was beautiful. She liked how it was jewelry that wouldn’t break easily, Draco really did know her well. 

“Draco this must’ve cost a fortune.” 

He looked smug, “It did, it’s real jade obviously. And I got a matching one.” He held his arm up and Jarum saw that he was wearing a similar bracelet to hers, only his initials were carved into it. 

“So you basically got my sister a friendship bracelet for her birthday, she turned fourteen, Draco, not five.” Draco and Jarum both let out twin sighs of annoyance. 

“Shut the fuck up Jaia, I highly doubt your gift will be able to top his.” 

Jaia smirked and walked over to Jarum, a wooden box in her hand. She handed it to her and instructed her to open it. When she opened it, she felt confused, because this was the best and most thought out gift she had received all day. It was similar to a music box, only instead of carved ballerinas dancing, it was an extremely detailed carving of Jarum flying around a quidditch pitch and Hogwarts’ school anthem played softly, instead of classical music. 

“Jaia this is, this is amazing.” 

Jaia gave her a rare, genuine smile, “You didn’t think I was going to let those two fuck brained idiots one up me in gift giving on my little sister’s birthday did you?” 

Jarum smiled at her sister, and for the first time in eight years, she hugged her older sister, and Jaia hugged her back. 

It didn’t last long because Draco interrupted, “Am I dreaming or did you two just hug without killing each other.” 

Jaia sighed, “Yes, you literally witnessed it with your own eyes, dumbass. Anyways none of our parents are present, which means we can do whatever the fuck we want all day.” 

Even though the celebrations were enough to keep anyone distracted from their thoughts, Jarum couldn’t help but think about Hermione Granger. She found herself missing the infuriating girl. She wondered what she was doing, who she was with, what she got for Christmas. She foolishly wondered if Hermione knew it was her birthday, she probably didn’t. Jaia only knew, because well she was her sister. Draco knew because he was her best friend and Marcus knew because he had looked into her birth records to make sure she was actually old enough to play quidditch. Besides them, no one else outside her family knew it was her birthday. 

Despite everything, her other three companions made her birthday as enjoyable as possible. Jaia let her have her first taste of alcohol, a shot of fire whiskey, which she nearly regurgitated. The best part of the day came when the three of them sang her the worst and most off-key rendition of happy birthday while she blew out the candles off a cake the house elves made. It wasn’t a grand party or anything special, but it was the best birthday she’d had in a long time. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Marcus bringing a date*  
> Jarum to Jaia: You wish that was you huh. 
> 
> Sorry I've been spending way too much time on tiktok, but thank you all so much for reading, and thank you those you have commented, it really keeps me motivated!


	8. Wild

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the song Wild by Troye Sivan, heavily centered around Drarry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so sorry for not updating. Finals week had me extremely stressed and it was my birthday a few days ago. Anyways this story has over 600 reads! I'm so grateful because I honestly thought no one was going to read this tory. But all the comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. Happy Holidays! And I'm going to try and update more frequently.

His footsteps pounded mercilessly against the pavement. His breath came out short and labored as he tried to control his breathing. It was difficult to breathe in the cold air. It felt as if the air were invading his lungs, trying to freeze them. He focused on regulating his breathing. 

Four counts in, four counts out. 

His leg muscles screamed in agony as they begged him to stop, but he kept running, he welcomed the surprisingly satisfying pain. 

The pain was a result of lactic acid fermentation, a process that occurs when the body can’t get oxygen fast enough to the muscles during physical exercise, so glucose is converted into energy. Draco had read about it once, in one of the useless muggle science books he found in the library, he had been extremely bored that day. 

Four counts, four counts out. 

Normally he’d be pissed at the ache in his muscles, but today it proved to be a fruitful distraction. Anything to take his mind off of the thoughts of green eyes and glasses and jet black hair. His thoughts about a certain boy had only worsened; he was always at the very forefront of Draco’s mind. 

Four counts in, four counts out. 

His borderline sprint transitioned into a slow jog and then into a walk as he finished the exercise Marcus had coerced the team into doing on their first practice back from break. He heard heavy footsteps behind him and rolled his eyes as he knew who it was. Jarum was so heavy footed it wasn’t even funny. 

“Holy shit Draco,” Jarum panted as she walked up beside him, “The fuck did you eat this morning? That’s the fastest I’ve ever seen you run.” 

He turned towards his best friend and smirked playfully, “Maybe you were just slow today Crange.” 

Despite the fact that Jarum had said she wouldn’t hold it against him if Draco was a…homosexual. He couldn’t bring himself to talk to her about it. He had been in denial for so long, and he wasn’t even sure if he was gay or bisexual or if he just liked to admire boys from afar. Either way, it just added to his insomnia. 

Jarum snapped in front of his face, “Hey pretty boy, are you even listening to me?” When Draco looked at her with a blank, confused expression she rolled her eyes and continued, “As I was saying, I have to go to the library to go study. But I’ll see you at dinner, don’t miss me too much.” 

“Please, the lack of your presence will bring me an undeniable sense of peace.”

Jarum smirked at him, “Don't even act like you won’t miss me,” she held up her wrist, “You did get us matching friendship bracelets after all.” 

Draco shoved her playfully, “Don't you have somewhere to be, you fucking dingbat.” 

Jarum shoved him back lightly before turning to jog off the quidditch pitch and towards the castle. Draco thought it was weird that she had been spending an awful lot of time in the library lately, but then again her grades weren’t exactly the best, just slightly above average. Hell, half the time Draco let her copy off him just so she could get a decent grade. 

“Hey sunshine,” Draco rolled his eyes as he turned around at the sound of Marcus’s voice. The quidditch captain had been uncharacteristically happy since break ended, he’d even been happy during break. His happiness was most likely caused by the fact that he’d gotten back together with Jaia; Draco and Jarum had unintentionally walked in on the two kissing during New Years. Anyways, Draco and the rest of the team had thought that since he worked things out with Jaia, that he would ease up when it came to practices. Turns out he had a stick up his ass when it came to quidditch either way. 

“What do you want Flint, I’m freezing my dick off out here,” now that he had stopped moving, the cold weather was beginning to seep through his skin. 

“Cassius and I were going to stick around to dress up like dementors, scare the shit out of those Gryffindor pussies.” 

If Marcus was trying to scare literally anyone else, Draco, would’ve said no. He would’ve said no, walked off the pitch, and taken a hot shower. But the main subject of his thoughts was the star of the Gryffindor quidditch team. 

He’d do _anything_ for Harry Potter’s attention, anything to get under his skin. It’s why he found himself reposing positively, “Come on Flint, I thought you knew me better than that. When I have ever passed up an opportunity to fuck with those blood traitor Gryffindors?” 

Marcus smirked at him, “Let’s go then.” 

***

Hermione craned her neck as she searched for Jarum in the vacant library. Ron was sunk low in his seat across from her, pouting. 

“I still don’t understand why we need her”, he grumbled. 

“She’s honestly helping more than you Ronald.” 

As if on cue, Jarum had rounded a corner and spotted Hermione and Ron and began to make her way over to them. 

“Hey.” 

Hermione’s breath caught in her throat at the sound of her voice. Over the break, Hermione had come to realize that it was okay to be attracted to Jarum, on a strictly physical basis. The girl was undeniably attractive, but her personality left a lot to be desired to and well—Jarum could be sort of a straight up cunt at times.

Hermione bit her cheek, “You're late.” 

She took a seat next to Hermione, “Practice ran late. If it’s any consolation though, it’s not my fault, Marcus doesn’t know how to respect other people’s time when it comes to quidditch. And as you can see, I came straight from there to here.” 

Hermione looked at what she was wearing, a Slytherin quidditch practice jersey and a short pair of athletic shorts. That’s it. That’s all she was wearing and it was nearly freezing outside. 

Before she could repremind Jarum about layers Ron spoke up, “Yea we can tell you came straight from practice, bloody hell you stink.” 

Jarum shifted her attention from Hermione to Ron, narrowing her eyes, “You sure that’s not the stench of your own upper lip wafting back into your nose Weasley?”

“Fuck off Crange.” 

Their bickering was the absolute last thing Hermione wanted to hear, “Both of you shut it! Jarum, it’s practically freezing outside and that’s all you wore? You could’ve gotten a cold or something.” 

Hermione saw the corners of Jarum’s mouth twitch slightly, “No need to worry about me Granger, believe me my body started heating up as soon as practice started. Marcus is borderline psychotic when it comes to quidditch.” 

Ron snorted, “Pretty sure the whole team is borderline psychotic, especially your boyfriend.” 

Hermione rolled her eyes, no matter what, it seemed as if the two purebloods bickering was practically inevitable. 

“And who, pray tell, is my boyfriend Weasley.” 

“Don’t act dumb, everyone knows you and Draco are a couple. I mean the matching bracelets, really. You two aren’t fooling anyone.” 

Hermione’s heart dropped at Ron’s observation, he was probably right about Jarum and Draco, again. He was probably right about them all along. The matching bracelets just confirmed what she and everyone else suspected, they were a couple. 

Jarum chuckled sarcastically, and even though it wasn’t a real laugh, Hermione decided that she enjoyed the sound, “Merlin, Weasley, you really think you know everything. It was a birthday gift, and besides, I’m too pretty for Draco Malfoy.” 

Hermione giggled slightly and Ron rolled his eyes, “You really just can’t help being vain can you?” 

“No not really,” Jarum shrugged, unbothered. 

“It runs in the family doesn't it? I recall your sister walking around these halls as if she fucking ran them, so stuck up and entitled,” when Jarum didn’t fire back he continued, “And you walk around with the same fucking entitlement, only difference is the people around here actually gave a damn about your sister, I don’t really think anyone would actually pay attention to you if it weren’t for your sister.” 

Hermione eyes widened in shock, she knew Ron could be mean, but she didn’t know he’d be that cruel with his words. Her eyes shifted next to her to where Jarum was sitting. Jarum’s jaw clenched and unclenched in what looked like poorly restrained anger. 

And as if she were putting on a mask, her signature smirk slid into place and Hermione knew Ron was done for. 

Jarum slid across the table on her elbows, so that her and Ron were nearly face to face, “You know Weasley I really do feel bad for you. I mean you say no one pays attention to me, but nearly everyone in this school knows me by name, the same can’t be said for you, I mean the only reason someone might know you is because you’re Potter’s and Granger’s best friend. It must be tough, knowing that you’re the most useless person in your friend group, yet choosing to stick around, I mean are you really _that_ desperate for friends?

Jarum leaned back in her seat as she finished, and as Ron’s eyes began to fill with angry tears, Hermione felt rage coursing through her. No matter how pretty or interesting Jarum Crange was, Ron was still her best friend and she directly mocked one of Ron’s deepest insecurities. 

“Jarum you should leave,” she spoke up. 

Jarum’s eyes snapped to her, and Hermione felt her heart stop. The other girl’s eyes were blazing almost golden with rage, and she leaned closer to Hermione. She could partially feel her breath on her forehead, and after a few seconds of staring at Hermione furiously, she spoke, “Are you fucking serious Granger?”

Despite being sharply scrutinized under Jarum’s infuriated gaze Hermione found herself responding, “I’m dead serious, what you said was completely uncalled for. I know he provoked you, but you didn’t have to respond so aggressively. You can come back and help us in a few days okay?” 

Hermione silently prayed for Jarum to control her anger for once, but apparently that was asking for too much. The pureblood girl was _pissed._

Jarum visibly seethed, “Typical fucking Gryffindors, you lot can never admit to being in the wrong can you?” she paused, her chest heaving heavily, “Fuck the both of you.” 

Hermione watched her stomp out the library, the numbers on her quidditch practice jersey winking back at her. She turned to Ron, who was still visibly upset, “You okay?” 

He nodded at her and smiled, “Yea I’m better now, thank you for that though. Bloody hell her words are hurtful.” 

Hermione nodded, she knew as well as anyone how mean Jarum could be,“Yea it’s no problem.” 

She couldn’t help but feel the slightest twinge of regret at the fact that she had kicked Jarum out of the library. Those angry brown eyes were now a curse in her mind. 

***

Draco stared back into those furious green eyes, the same ones he’d been thinking about for weeks straight. Him and Harry were facing each other on the pitch, only feet apart.

The prank had fallen apart after literal seconds and the entire Gryffindor team was now staring down Draco, Marcus, and Cassius. 

Words. Words. Draco needed fucking words. So he said the first idiotic thing that came into his short circuiting brain, “Don’t get your panties all in twist Potter, it was just a joke.” 

Harry spat back, “A pathetic joke, I mean trying to intimidate the team you’re most likely going to see in the finals? That’s pathetic.” 

Draco swallowed, Harry was beautiful. He internally panicked, why did he think Harry was beautiful, that’s not normal is it? 

Before anyone else could speak up, Madam Hooch interrupted them, storming onto the pitch, “What is going on here?!” 

Angelina Johnson spoke up, “Malfoy, Flint, and Warrington dressed up as dementors to try and scare us. And they’re cutting into our practice time.” 

Madam Hooch looked at the three Slytherins, disappointed, “40 points from Slytherin. And the three of you will be serving detention. And Mr. Potter you will be present during Mr. Malfoy’s detention,” Harry began to protest but Madam Hooch held up her hand to silence him, “I’m sick and tired of having to break up every petty little argument the two of you get in. You two must learn how to get along, or at the very least tolerate each other.”

She walked off and the three Slytherins followed her dejectedly, as the Gryffindor team glared at their backs. 

Draco was unexplicably looking forward to his detention with Harry, at least he wouldn’t be alone and he could finally get to the bottom of the stupid, strange thoughts about the other boy. 

When Draco reached the common room he was met with Jarum angrily pacing back and forth. She hadn’t changed out of her practice gear and Draco would be concerned, but Jarum had terrible anger issues and tended to get upset over the smallest things. 

“Can you stop your fucking pacing.” 

Her head snapped up to where he was standing, “I really fucking hate Gryffindors, especially that poor fucking moron Weasley and that knowitall Granger.” 

His eyes raised in surprise, because this outburst was extremely random and seemed to have zero cause, “I mean I hate them too, but exactly why do you hate them?” 

His question made her pace falter slightly and she wet her lips gently, “No reason, they’re just fucking stupid. I passed them on my way here they just act like they can get away with anything just because their best friend is Harry fucking Potter.” 

He plopped down on one of the couches, “Speaking of Potter, I got detention because of him today.” 

Jarum sat down next to him, “No fucking way, why?” 

“He’s a fucking drama queen who can’t take a fucking joke, that’s why.” 

Even though he was kind of looking forward to his detention with Harry, his best friend definitely didn’t need to know that. 

“Do you want me to do something that will get me to have detention with the two of you? So you don’t have to be alone with him.” 

No no no, Draco wanted to be alone with Harry. He absolutely needed his attention. He blurted out quickly, “No that’s okay, I swear. It’s just a detention, I’ll be fine.” 

Jarum gave him a weird look before shrugging, “Suit yourself. I’m going to go change, then I'm heading down to dinner, you coming with?” 

“Yea of course.” 

“Okay see you in a few.” 

Draco watched as she headed up to her dorm, once she rounded the corner, he put his head in his hands. Everything was becoming so fucking complicated, and his mind was drawing blanks. He couldn’t even figure himself out. 

When had he become so obsessed, so consumed with Harry Potter? More importantly, why? Why wasn’t he obsessed with girls, like every other boy he knew? Jarum was one of the most attractive girls in the school, he was constantly reminded of it, yet he wasn’t attracted to her. He wasn’t attracted to Pansy or Daphne. Sometimes his eyes tended to linger slightly on the boys in the locker room, but why? None of it made any fucking sense. 

***

Footsteps. Growing up, Jarum had practically trained her ears to listen for footsteps. Whether they were her mothers rhythmatic, commanding footsteps, or her sister’s soft and barely audible ones, she always listened for footsteps. It’s why as she was walking down a less crowded hallway, she heard the heavy, pounding steps behind her, following her.

She turned around quickly to see who it was and was met with the Ravenclaw seeker, Sterling Brooks. 

“Can I help you?” she questioned, she didn’t like the boy in the slightest, well to be fair she didn’t like most people. But there was something off about him, she couldn’t put her finger on it, but she sensed that his intentions were sinister. She didn’t trust Ravenclaws anyways, they were way too smart for their own good. 

He smiled at her, he must’ve thought his smile was charming, but Jarum found it sickening, “You’re Jaia’s sister right? I’m Sterling, I used to have a thing with her when she went to Hogwarts.” 

Jarum raised an eyebrow, she didn’t like where this was going, “Unfortunately, I know who you are. And I’m not only Jaia’s sister, I’m also the girl who knocked the shit out of you during quidditch, so I think you should cut the crap and tell me why you’re bothering me.” 

His lips twitched before he spoke, “I’m just wondering why Jaia hasn’t been responding to my owls, do you know if she’s okay?” 

Jarum’s head tilted in confusion, she was pretty sure Jaia was no longer interested in the boy, so the fact that he kept sending her owls, definitely wasn’t a good sign. She knew people at Hogwarts worshipped her sister like a goddess, but she hadn’t encountered anyone who had a borderline obsession with her. 

She shifted backwards slightly, “Um no, nothings wrong with her. You can’t take a hint, I mean really, she’s not answering your owls for a reason. Now if you’ll excuse me, I don’t have time for this shit today.” She was still slightly angry about what happened in the library a few days ago. 

As Jarum tried to walk past him, he seized her arm roughly and as he was turning her around she drew her wand, and held it at his throat. “Look here dickface, I may not be as cruel or as bitchy as my mother or sister, but I’m not someone you want to fuck with. So go ahead and try me, but I guarantee it won’t end well for you,” she threatened. 

He stared down at her for a few moments before smirking cruelly. It gave her an unsettling feeling, she had never seen someone smirk so manically, so sinisterly which was saying something, given who her mother and sister were. Sterling continued to smirk at her as he spoke, “You are a feisty one I’ll give you that. You and Jaia are so much alike, you remind me so much of her.” 

Jarum backed further away from him, so there was more distance between the two of them. She scoffed before sarcastically replying, “Yea I wonder why that is.” 

“Well,” he said, still smirking, “Send my love to Jaia.” 

As she opened her mouth to answer, a body slammed into Sterling and shoved him into the wall. Jarum rolled her eyes as she realized it was Marcus. He was holding Sterling up by his collar and roughly pressing him into the wall. 

“Why the fuck are you speaking to her huh? You’re that obsessed with Jaia so you had to try and go for her little sister. You fucking prick!” 

Sterling coughed slightly, “So you’re the reason she hasn’t been responding to me. You know it does surprise me. I mean you’re not exactly on her level of attractiveness and we both know Jaia’s always been quite vain.” 

Marcus angrily pulled him back only to slam him back into the wall, “Jealous pretty boy? That she finally came to her senses and picked the better option?” 

“Or maybe she picked the only option, the pureblood dating pool isn’t exactly expansive. She’ll come to her senses, sooner or later.” 

Jarum rolled her eyes and made their way over to the two arguing boys. The male species could be so—entitled and stupid really, maybe that’s why she never really had a crush on a boy, or paid attention to them. 

“While I would love to see a fight between the two of you, Marcus can’t afford to be suspended for quidditch. And my sister has clearly made up her mind about who she wants to be with. All of us know that once my sister has made a decision, there’s no changing her mind,” she turned to Sterling, “So I advise you to stop stalking after her like a lost puppy and move on.” 

Sterling glared at her before pushing Marcus off of him and walking in the opposite direction as them. 

Jarum turned to Marcus, “That wasn’t a damsel in distress situation by the way, I had that handled.” 

“Look you need to stay the fuck away from him, something is seriously wrong with that mudblood.” 

She rolled her eyes, “Well thank you for the information Sherlock, yea no shit something’s off with him. I figured that out within the first thirty seconds of speaking to him.” 

“I’m serious Jarum, I think he might’ve done something to Jaia her sixth year. Either way, he’s fucking weird.” 

Jarum felt anxiety creep into her, because if he was that obsessed with her sister, then what lengths would he go to, to have her? 

***

Draco sighed as he walked into the classroom he would be serving detention with Harry in. The classroom was empty. And for the first time in weeks, Draco was left completely alone with his thoughts. 

He hated it. 

Loud. 

His thoughts were too fucking loud. Screaming at him in different tongues and voices, all saying the same thing. The very thing Draco feared, the very thing Draco was in immense denial about. 

He was saved by the assembly of voices by the visual of Harry and Madam Hooch walking into the classroom. 

“Oh good, Mr. Malfoy, you're already here. Mr. Potter, why don’t you have a seat.” Draco’s eyes followed Harry as he moved around the room to sit down in the seat furthest away from him. 

Once Harry had sat down, Madam Hooch continued speaking, “The two of you have been bickering non stop since first year. I’m going to try and nip this in the bud, because it’s exhausting to deal with. You two are going to spend an hour in here, hopefully that will teach both of you to get along.” 

When neither of them said anything, Madam Hooch shut the door and walked out the classroom. 

Draco stared at the desk he was sitting at, trying to find some sort of distraction, but his efforts were futile. Like a moth to a flame, he was naturally drawn to Harry Potter. 

“Why're you all the way over there? Scared of me Potter?” 

Harry turned around in his seat to scowl at him, then he turned back around, “No I just don’t have time for your shit Malfoy.” 

Draco was irritated at the fact that Harry seemed so unbothered by his presence, he got up and walked over to where he was sitting. 

Harry rolled his eyes, “Piss off Malfoy, I’m serious I don’t have time for your antics today.” 

Draco circled around Harry’s desk and stopped in front of it. His mind momentarily went blank as he looked into the eyes that have been recently haunting his dreams. He regained his focus and then teased “And why’s that Potter? Don’t tell me you’ve finally become boring.” 

The vein on Harry’s neck bulged in anger, and Draco swallowed heavily at the sight. The other boy rose from his seat so he and Draco were now at eye level with each other, their face inches apart. Draco could feel Harry’s cool breath on his face. 

For a moment neither of them spoke, the whole world seemed to stop and Draco Malfoy never knew silence could be so deafening. 

Finally Harry spoke, “You know what? Maybe I do have time. Why’re you so focused on making my life a living hell? Is it because I didn’t want to be your friend in first year?” 

Draco’s heart was beating erratically as he tried to remember the breathing technique that would get his heart rate under control. 

Four counts in. Four counts out. 

“You’re reading too much into it Potter, I simply find it fun. Seeing you all angry and bothered, it’s fun.”

Harry stepped closer to him and he backed away slightly, “That’s pathetic Malfoy.” 

There was that word again, pathetic. Draco would be lying straight through his teeth if he said that Harry’s words had no effect on him. 

“Like I care what you think Potter,” he spat while shoving Harry away from him. 

When he shoved him a small folded up piece of paper fell out of his robe pocket. Draco rushed to pick it up while Harry stared at him wide eyed. 

“What’s this Potter?” 

“Give it back Malfoy.” 

Draco smirked, he wanted to see what was so important about this piece of paper, “No I don’t think I will.” 

Harry frantically rushed over to Draco, trying to snatch the paper out of his hands. But luckily, Draco was quicker and he dodged Harry’s attempts to seize the paper from him. 

Harry eventually got tired and he gave up, this surprised Draco greatly. Normally Harry would’ve kept fighting him. Draco shrugged it off as he unfolded the paper. 

As he read the contents of the note, Draco was brought back to a day earlier in the school year. 

_Flashback_

_Professor Snape strutted around the class, droning on and on about werewolves or something, Draco wouldn’t know, he wasn’t really paying attention. He looked over at Jarum who seemed to actually be interested in the lesson, she was scribbling down notes for once._

_He nudged her gently and without taking her eyes off her paper, she answered through gritted teeth, “What Draco.”_

_Draco smiled wryly, it was so easy to get under her skin sometimes, he nudged her again, and she turned towards him, “Can I help you.”_

_He leaned over to her, “Nothing, it’s just I can’t believe you're actually taking notes, it’s a sight to behold honestly.”_

_Jarum rolled her eyes, “Fuck off.”_

_“Why’re you so pissy? Is it that time of the month?”_

_She cut her eyes at him, and Draco knew he was fucked, maybe he shouldn’t have purposely annoyed her so much, “I will break your arm if you don’t shut the fuck up.”_

_Draco held up his hands defensively and resumed watching Professor Snape stroll around the classroom. He glanced over at Harry, who was speaking in whispers with Weasley._

_Draco ripped off a piece of parchment and scribbled a quick note onto it._

_you suck Potter >:(_

_He then folded it up into a paper bird and blew it across the room to Harry. When the other boy caught the paper bird and read the note he rolled his eyes at him. Draco smiled to himself, at least he had gotten Harry’s attention._

_End Flashback_

The words on the paper glared back at Draco. He had so many fucking questions. 

Why did Harry still have this note?

Why was his heart beating faster at the thought of Harry keeping the note? 

What does any of this fucking mean? 

The last question he had for himself was the scariest one, a question he had been silently asking himself all along, and had been denying it forcefully. 

Am I gay?

The question bounced around Draco’s brain, beating harshly at his cranium. He struggled for a minute before spitting out hurriedly, “Why do you still have this Potter?” 

“I accidentally left it in there,” Harry quickly replied. 

Draco didn’t believe him for a second but he nodded and handed the note back to Harry. As he was handing it back, their hands gently brushed against each other and Draco felt his breath catch in his throat. 

It was too much for him, the thoughts, the questions, Harry’s green fucking eyes. Everything he was feeling seemed to be multiplied by tenfold. He needed to get out of the room. He needed to get the fuck away from Harry Potter. 

“I’m done with this shit,” he said as he stormed out of the classroom and towards the Slytherin common room. He needed to find Jarum, she would help him fix everything. 

He entered the Slytherin common room, relieved to find it mostly empty. He spotted Jarum and Blaise sitting by the fire, it looked like Blaise was attempting to explain a Transfiguration concept to her. 

He timidly made his way over to the two of them and asked in a voice so small, that he didn’t even recognize it himself, “Blaise may I speak to Jarum, alone.” 

Blaise looked at him concerned while getting up, “You alright mate?” 

Draco nodded as he took Blaise’s spot next to Jarum, “Yea Im fine I just need to talk to Jarum.” 

Blaise nodded, “Well I’ll see you two tomorrow. Jarum come find me if you need anymore help with Transfiguration.”

Jarum smiled at him, “I definitely will, thanks again Blaise.” 

The other boy nodded and walked up towards his dorm. Jarum, not looking up from her parchment joked, “What was so important that you had to interrupt my study session?” 

Draco knew she was only teasing, her tone was lighthearted and not at all serious, but he needed her to be serious. He spoke in almost a whisper, “Jarum.” 

Her eyes looked up to meet his gaze and the soft smile slid off her face as worry etched itself over her features. “Are you sure you’re okay Draco? You look like you’re gonna be sick.” 

He nodded before quietly asking, “Have you ever kissed anyone?” 

Jarum looked at him confused, “I’m sorry?” 

Draco repeated his question, “Have you ever kissed anyone Jarum?” 

Jarum seemed to hesitate slightly, “I can’t say that I have no.” 

Draco needed to know what it felt like, or at the very least drown out what he assumed were unnatural thoughts, “Do you want to kiss me?” 

Jarum laughed lightly, “Are you mental? Draco, I thought we were strictly best friends.” 

Draco swallowed the lump in his throat, “A-and we are, I just want to know what it feels like to kiss someone. We don’t ever have to talk about it after.” 

Jarum nodded, though confusion was still present on her face. Draco studied his best friend, her features softly illuminated by the oranges and yellows emitting from the crackling fire. Jarum was pretty, gorgeous, beautiful, despite her scar, anyone with eyes could see that. So why wasn’t he attracted to her? It made no sense, if she was pretty, why wasn’t he attracted to her? Maybe it’s because she wasn’t beautiful in the way Harry Potter was. 

His thoughts were interrupted by Jarum scooting closer to him. They both leaned in at the same time and their mouths met an awkward angle. Draco noted her lips were soft, they tasted like pineapples, but it wasn’t enjoyable in the slightest. In fact, he was almost disgusted at the fact that he was kissing his best friend. His best friend who happened to be a girl. Even though the kiss lasted for seconds, Draco felt as if it had lasted for hours. He hated it. 

When they pulled away from each other, Draco could tell Jarum had hated the kiss as well, at least he wasn’t alone in that category. 

“We never speak of that ever again,” she spoke, as if she were disgusted with herself too. 

“Agreed.” 

Draco retreated to his room shortly after, leaving Jarum alone by the fire. He plopped down into his bed, and curled into his pillow, letting out soft, barely audible sobs. It felt as if it’d taken centuries, but he had finally realized he couldn’t keep living in denial. 

Draco Malfoy was gay. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, I threw up in my mouth a little when writing that kiss. Anyways, the last two chapters haven't been super centered around Jarum and Hermione, which is the main ship. But, the next several chapters are going to be very heavily centered around them. But thank you for reading, commenting, and leaving kudos!


	9. Atychiphobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> atychiphobia-the fear of failure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny story, I was half drunk when drafting this chapter and its genuinely my favorite chapter so far, so I hope you enjoy it lol. And happy new year!

Jarum stepped out into the cold air, exhaling gently, seeing her breath cloud out in front of her as she did so. She reached into her back pocket and pulled out the cigarette that she had stolen from one of the older Slytherin boys earlier that day. Jarum examined the colorless stick, she’d seen her sister smoke them quite often, and they seemed to have a relaxing effect on her. Jarum could use some of that relaxation, her plan had gone to shit, her grades were slipping, not that they were that good in the first place, and then there were the thoughts that made an appearance within her brain every time she so much as blinked. 

Warm brown eyes that were burned into her memory by now, soft brown hair, the scent of old books, were constantly haunting her thoughts, like some sort of fucking ghost. It was extremely unpleasant for her to say the least, because Jarum didn’t  _ want _ to think like that, and yet her fucking brain always managed to conjure those specific thoughts about a specific girl. 

Jarum shook her head, she didn’t come to the Astronomy Tower in the middle of the night to think. She took the small lighter out of her pocket, an item which she had also stolen, and put the cigarette in her mouth, lighting it. She coughed heavily as the toxic smoke entered her mouth, slid down her esophagus and found a home within her lungs. The burning sensation in her chest was not a pleasant one and she began to feel nauseous. However when she exhaled the smoke, she felt something that resembled relief. Her lungs were still burning, but her airways were now slightly clearer. 

As she went to take another drag, she heard the door to the Astronomy Tower open, and she turned around, the lit cigarette hanging halfway out her mouth. 

Hermione fucking Granger, of course, who else would it be? The girl had been consuming her in all ways possible, like a damn plague. She was always around, always in her thoughts, always just  _ there _ . She was inescapable.

Hermione approached her, “Figured you be out here”, she said almost shyly. 

Jarum nodded and took another drag of the cigarette, forcing herself not to cough. Coughing would no doubt cause Hermione to lecture her. 

“Can I ask what you’re doing?” 

Jarum rolled her eyes as she exhaled the smoke towards the dark, cloudy sky, “What does it look like I’m doing Granger?” 

“Looks like you’re smoking a cigarette,” Hermione stated obviously, “You know those things can kill you right.”

“Oh goody,” Jarum deadpanned.

Hermione plucked the cigarette from her lips, her pointer finger making the slightest contact with Jarum’s top lip. The simple contact caused shockwaves to make their way throughout Jarum’s insides. Hermione maintained eye contact with her as she crushed the cigarette butt under her shoe. 

The screaming silence between them was emphasized as neither one of them said a word. They just simply looked at each other, as if they were trying to commit each other’s features to memory. 

Jarum shook her head, she couldn’t afford to think like this, not now. “Why're you out here Granger?” 

“Because I wanted to apologize.” 

“Oh really? Color me shocked,” Jarum snarked. 

“I’m serious, you and Ron were both in the wrong, and it was unfair to kick you out of the library.” 

Hermione looked at her, those big brown eyes once again staring into her soul, Jarum looked away, “Well at least you were smart enough to admit you were wrong.” 

Hermione looked at the sky, “See any constellations out?” 

“The sky is cloudy, do you think I can see any fucking constellations Granger,” Jarum asked sardonically. 

Hermione huffed slightly frustrated, “I was just trying to make conversation.” 

“Well ask me something else then,” her answer made the other girl’s eyebrows lift in surprise. Hell, her answer had even surprised her. She should’ve been pissed, Hermione had interrupted her alone time, taken her cigarette right out of her mouth, and stomped on it. But being alone with the other girl wasn’t so bad, especially on the Astronomy Tower. Jarum tolerated Hermione a bit more when they were alone together on the Astronomy Tower. 

“Okay then what’s your boggart?” 

Jarum’s head quickly turned to face the other girl, “I’m sorry?” 

“Your boggart, you moved to the back of the line the day we learned about them in class.”

Jarum rubbed her temples gently, Hermione always seemed to get straight to the point with her questions. “I’m not telling you.” 

Jarum genuinely didn’t know what her deepest darkest fear was and truthfully she didn’t want to know, that’s why she had moved to the back of the line that day. However based on the most recent cause of her insomnia, Jarum had a faint idea of what it might be. 

Hermione nudged her gently, “Come on, I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.” 

“Tell me yours first and I’ll think about it,” Jarum replied, slightly intrigued. 

Hermione rolled her eyes but she complied, “I think my boggart would be McGonagall failing me in every single class, the simple idea of that just gives me nightmares, all my hard work just gone to waste.” 

Jarum raised an eyebrow in disbelief at her answer, “That’s it? I mean seriously, of all things to be afraid of in the world?.”

Hermione sighed, “It’s a perfectly valid fear, Crange. There actually is a name for it actually, atychiphobia, the fear of failure. Now since I told you mine, you have to tell me yours.” 

“Of course you managed to figure out a specific name for your fear, how much fucking free time do you have,” Jarum stated, clearly trying to avoid answering the question. She began nervously playing with her fingers, and she was beginning to wish that Hermione hadn’t crushed her cigarette, just so she could have something that would occupy her hands or distract her from the girl next to her. 

The other girl gently placed her hand on top of hers to halt her fidgeting. Jarum felt her heart thudding heavily in her chest, it was as if every time Hermione Granger touched her, her skin felt as though it had been set ablaze. 

Hermione gave her a gentle half smile, “You’re avoiding the question.” 

Jarum couldn’t bear it anymore, she wasn’t gay, she had to stop thinking like she was. Being gay meant she wouldn’t survive. If she wanted to survive, she had to stop getting lost in Hermione’s big brown eyes and her soft gentle touches. 

She snatched her hand away from Granger’s grasp, “I’m not avoiding the question.” 

Granger sighed and Jarum could tell she was starting to get irritated. Good. “Okay so then answer it.” 

Jarum sucked in a deep breath, she could lie, she should lie. But she didn’t really want to, wait no, she just needed to earn Granger’s trust again, so her plan could continue. “I’ve been having this recurring dream, of my mother telling me that I’m a complete failure, that I didn’t live up to her expectations and that I never will. It might not sound like much, but it causes me to wake up in a cold sweat most nights.” 

She could feel the other girl’s eyes on her, but she tried not to notice, she looked up at the dark cloudy sky, attempting to distract herself. 

“Sounds like you have atychiphobia too, or something close to it.” 

Jarum looked down at her feet, she was looking everywhere but Granger, “Yea maybe,” she commented dismissively. She was desperate to change the subject, “Why did you seek me out Granger?” 

“Because Buckbeak’s trial is getting closer and closer. Ron and Harry have been no help at all, and I really really need your help.” 

Jarum heavily resisted the urge to smirk, everything was falling back into place. She was so close to getting the information about Sirius Black, which she would then pass onto her mother. 

Jarum pretended to deliberate over her decision, “Fine I guess I’ll help you, but you so owe me for this Granger.” 

“Deal.” 

“Well then,” she said as she began to walk towards the door, a sly smile coming across her face as she turned away from Granger, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

***

Jarum stared at Draco as he disassociated from everyone around him, it’s like he wasn’t even there. In the past few weeks since their unfortunate kiss, Draco had been spacing out, he rarely ever talked or ate anymore, and that worried Jarum because Draco Malfoy  _ loved _ to fucking talk. 

As soon as class ended Draco shot up out of his seat and practically sprinted out of the classroom. Jarum hurriedly packed her belongings so she could hopefully get a chance to speak to him, he had distanced himself from her as well and it kind of hurt, Draco was her best friend after all. 

As she was leaving the classroom, she felt someone grip her arm, she turned around to see who it was, half expecting it to be Granger, but it was just Potter. 

She looked down at the hand gripping her arm in disgust, “Can I help you?”

“Are you going to speak to Malfoy, he’s been acting weird these past few weeks,” he said, avoiding eye contact with her

She swatted his hand off her arm, “Hands off Potter, and yes I was going to speak to Draco, though I don’t see how it concerns you.” 

Jarum noticed that he swallowed heavily as he lightly backed away from her, “I-it doesn’t, I was just uh curious that’s all.” 

Jarum narrowed her eyes in suspicion, “Right okay, then get out of my way Potter.” 

He stepped aside and allowed her to pass him, she entered the crowded hallways. The interaction was unusual to say the least, and Potter’s concern was solid proof that Jarum wasn’t the only one who had noticed Draco’s withdrawn behavior. 

She spotted his blonde hair and began shoving students,regardless of year, out of the way. 

“Draco!” she shouted, hoping the stubborn boy would turn around at the sound of her voice. His stride faltered slightly, but he kept walking. 

Jarum rolled her eyes and started to jog to catch up to him. Why was her best friend such an ass? 

“Draco Lucius Malfoy!” 

That got his attention, he nearly broke his neck as he whipped around at the sound of his full name. He stopped in the middle of the hallway and waited for Jarum to catch up to him. 

“What do you want Crange,” he sneered as soon as she was in earshot. 

Jarum gave him a death glare and lightly began moving him towards one of the walls, and out of the flow of foot traffic. She looked around to make sure no one was paying attention to them before speaking, “What's been up with you lately Draco, you’re not acting like yourself.” 

The cool grey eyes, which were previously staring at the floor snapped up to meet her gaze, “You noticed,” he stated hopefully, but quietly. 

Jarum was taken aback at his statement, “Of course I noticed Draco, how could I not. Even Potter noticed.” 

“He did?” Draco asked, his voice gaining slight excitement.

“Yea he fucking cornered me at the end of class about it.” 

Jarum kept her gaze trained on Draco’s facial expression, it looked hopeful, barely concealed happiness crossing his features. It was odd, that he was happy that Potter had noticed his strange behavior, because Draco wasn’t gay. Right? He had kissed her because he  _ wasn’t  _ gay. Right? 

She snapped in front of his face, “You know if you’re going through something, anything you can always tell me. I won’t judge, well maybe a little,” she paused to laugh gently and Draco smiled for the first time in weeks, “but seriously you’re my best friend and I’m here for you, no matter what.”

She watched his facial expressions contort into several different emotions, fear, shame, guilt, and hesitation. He looked as if he were on the verge of telling her something. Draco opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He shook his head gently and pulled her into a soft hug by her shoulders. 

“Thank you,” he muttered softly in her ear. 

While Jarum was normally uncomfortable with any physical affection, she hugged him back, she felt as if she owed him that much. 

In the brief moment they were hugging, Jarum just so happened to glance over Draco’s shoulder. Her eyes landed on Granger, who was staring at them, her knuckles turning visibly white from gripping her books too harshly and her jaw was evidently clenched in something that resembled anger. But why? 

Jarum decided not to dwell on it and pulled away from Draco, “Let’s go get lunch you fucking moron.” 

He smiled at her and shoved her gently, “We both know you’re the actual moron out of the two of us.” 

Jarum slung her arm around his neck, even though he was a little taller than her. She was happy that she had gotten her best friend back, even if he wasn’t telling her everything. He would come around sooner or later. 

***

Normally it wasn’t in Hermione’s nature to be an envious person, but things were just different when it came to Jarum Crange. Seeing her hug Draco Malfoy, of all fucking people, in the hallway set off an jealously switch, a switch she didn’t even knew exsisted, deep within the depths of her brain. She knew the two were best friends, nothing more, but it was difficult to watch. 

Why was she jealous though? It’s not like Hermione had a crush on her, she was just…simply attracted to her looks, that’s all. Jarum was a terrible person, with a terrible personality, who was on the precipice of being a crueler bully than Draco Malfoy himself. Why would anyone be attracted to that? But more importantly why was Hermione jealous? 

Hermione pushed the thoughts out her head, she had more important things to focus on, such as Buckbeak’s impending trial. Asking for Jarum’s help again could either be a decision that would benefit her situation or worsen it, only time would tell. Plus she genuinely needed help, Harry was more distracted than ever nowadays, Hermione couldn’t blame him, Sirius Black being in such close proximity to him had put the boy on edge. And Ron was acting hostile towards her ever since he thought Crookshanks had killed that hideous rat of his. 

Hermione was extremely close to figuring out Jarum's motives, especially after their most recent conversation at the top of the Astronomy Tower. Without a doubt, part of her motive stemmed back to the girl’s mother, the only missing part was what specific information she was looking for. 

Hermione impatiently bounced her leg as she waited in the study hall. She figured they might get more done if they had a different place to study, plus Hermione could tell that Jarum was getting tired of spending the majority of her time in the library, something Hermione would never get bored of. She adored the library. 

She looked up at the entrance just as Jarum was entering the library, and Hermione’s eyes were glued to her, the other girl was so mesmerizing. Fuck. 

Hermione took in her appearance, curly hair pulled up into a messy bun, her shirt messily buttoned and untucked and her tie was halfway undone. She looked as if she had just woken up from a nap. 

As soon as she sat down next to her, Hermione huffed, “You’re–“

She was cut off by Jarum, “Right on time Granger, look at the clock.” 

Hermione glanced at the time and saw that Jarum was right. She had been on time, for once. Hermione became conscious of the distance between them, it was as if the other girl was aware of it too, and she was purposely putting space between the two of them. 

It was peculiar, Hermione wanted to be closer to her while Jarum wanted to be farther away from her. Hermione discarded the observation and spoke up, “Right so, Buckbeak’s trial is in a week in a half and we only have a few good pages of notes that we could give to Hagrid that would help him. So we might be working for a few hours everyday. Think you can handle that?” 

“Of course Granger, I’m not as stupid as everyone thinks.” 

Hermione eyes flitted from the page she was focusing on to Jarum, who was biting her cheek. Hermione spoke softly, “I don’t think you’re stupid, Crange.” 

“I’m definitely not as smart as my sister and I’m shit at nearly every class except Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts.” 

Hermione’s expression softened at her words, she was probably always compared to her sister, who seemed nearly perfect and every way. Hermione concluded that Jarum most likely had self esteem issues, being in the Crange family was no doubt difficult. 

Doing her best to sympathize, Hermione replied, “Not everyone learns the same, maybe you just learn differently but haven’t figured out a way to use that to your advantage.” 

Jarum was still looking down at the book, she hadn’t turned the page, “Yea maybe.” 

“And besides,” Hermione continued, glad they were having a conversation that didn’t include arguing, “You’re passing all your classes right,” Jarum nodded, “you wouldn’t be passing if you were stupid,” Hermione reasoned. 

Jarum chuckled and Hermione got a slight glimpse of her left dimple, “Yea I’m passing because I cheat off Draco and Blaise half the time, but I appreciate the effort.” 

Neither one of them said a word as they began to read the books that Hermione had collected from the library’s vast collection. While Hermione was hurriedly scribbling down notes, she noticed out of the corner of her eye that Jarum was reading at a leisurely pace. 

Hermione sighed and turned to fully face the other girl to reprimand her, but at that moment Jarum took her hair out of her bun, her curls spilling over her shoulders and down her back. Jarum gently rubbed her scalp and slipped her hair tie over her wrist. Hermione tended to overanalyze everything Jarum did, a terrible habit she had recently developed. 

She wasn’t even aware she was staring until Jarum spoke up, breaking the silence barrier, “You’re staring Granger.” 

Hermione’s cheeks flushed pink, “I’m not staring,” she denied. 

Jarum raised her eyebrows disbelievingly, “Yea okay.” 

Desperate to change the subject, she asked, “What page are you on?” 

“Ninety seven, why?” 

“And you haven’t taken any notes?” 

“No, I have a great memory.” 

Hermione sighed and continued taking notes while she read, it was about five minutes before Jarum spoke up, without looking up from her book, “What do you know about Sirius Black?” 

Hermione looked away from her notes and towards Jarum, noticing her slight fidgeting, but she didn’t think anything of it, “Why do you ask?” 

Jarum shrugged, “I’m just curious.”

Her curiosity was valid, it was hard to walk in the hallways without hearing some sort of rumor about Sirius Black and his crimes. Hermione leaned closer to Jarum and spoke in a gentle whisper, “Don’t tell anyone I told you, but Black used to go to school with Harry’s parents, he was their really close friend.” 

Jarum lips twitched slightly, and her eyebrows raised in surprise, “Really? That’s shocking, does that mean that he betrayed them?” 

“Yea I guess so.” 

Jarum nodded and continued reading her book, still fidgeting. 

***

Hermione watched, along with Ron and Harry, as Hagrid lazily skipped huge smooth rocks across the lake. 

Just based on Hagrid’s body language, Hermione assumed that the trial didn’t go well. Still it didn’t hurt to ask, “How did it go Hagrid, the hearing?” 

He paused his skipping rocks, “Well, first off the committee members took turns discussing why we were there,” he resumed skipping the rocks across the lake, “Then I got up, said my piece, I thought it was pretty good too, your notes helped a lot Hermione.” 

Hermione smiled to herself, she was proud that her hard work had paid off, that she had helped Hagrid and Buckbeak. 

He took a deep breath as he continued, “And then Lucius Malfoy got up, well you can imagine what he said, according to him, Buckbeak was a deadly dangerous creature, who would kill you as soon as he had the chance.” 

“And then,” Hermione asked. She knew Lucius Malfoy had a lot of power, but surely he didn’t have  _ that _ kind of power did he? 

“And then that’s where things got interesting, Jilda Crange of all people got up and backed him up.” 

“Jilda Crange,” said Ron, surprised, “What the bloody hell was she doing there?” 

“Beats me,” shrugged Hagrid, “My guess is good ol’ Lucius asked her to tag along because he figured they were both powerful enough to sway the decision of the committee. And then they both asked for the worst, Buckbeak has been sentenced to death.” 

Hermione was  _ fuming _ , what were the fucking chances that Jarum’s fucking mother would have a huge part in Buckbeak getting executed. She briefly wondered if Jarum knew her mother would be at the trial. 

The fear of her mother, the questions about Sirius Black, Jarum offering to help out of nowhere, the lies, the fidgeting, it was all starting to make sense. 

Jarum fucking Crange was trying to get information about Sirius Black for her mother. How could she have been so blind, all the signs were  _ right there.  _

“Excuse me,” she muttered quickly to Ron and Harry. She was on a mission, she had to find Jarum, now. 

She stormed back towards the castle, she would tear the castle apart searching for the girl. As soon as she entered school, Hermione spotted Daphne Greengrass and Pansy Parkinson walking together. Under any other circumstances, Hermione would have avoided the two girls at all costs. They were the epitome of mean girls and were rude to anyone who wasn’t a Slytherin pureblood. But Hermione needed to find Jarum and she figured the two girls had an idea of where she was, they were both friends with her, and Hermione was almost positive they shared a dorm with her.

She put on the calmest expression she could and walked up to them, “Excuse me,” she said while ignoring their looks of disgust, “Do you know where Jarum is? McGonagall wanted me to make sure she’s not falling behind in Transfiguration.” It was a bold faced lie, but in order to find and confront Jarum she needed the two Slytherin girls to believe her. 

Pansy turned her nose up at her, she clearly wouldn’t be the one to answer. Hermione looked at Daphne almost pleadingly, she was always the nicer one out of the two. The blonde girl sighed heavily before answering, “I think she might be on the quidditch pitch, getting some extra practice.” 

Hermione nodded, “Thank you.” She didn’t get a response from either of them, so she walked past them towards the pitch. 

Once she arrived at the pitch, she spotted the other girl high up in the air, on her broom, hitting a bludger, alone. If Hermione wasn’t so pissed, she might’ve watched for a little bit. The girl was a damn good beater, she made it look so effortless. Slytherin might actually win the Quidditch Cup this year. 

She cupped her hands around her mouth to amplify her voice and shouted, “Crange! Get down here now!” 

Crange hit the bludger one more time, before flying down to Hermione, drenched in sweat. She lifted up her shirt to wipe the sweat off her brow and Hermione literally forced herself to look away. The last thing she needed was the thoughts about the other girl’s attractiveness. 

“Can I help you Granger, I was kind of busy.” 

“I don’t give a damn how busy you were,” Hermione responded angrily. 

Crange looked at her, confused, before replying in a teasing tone, “Language Granger.” 

That was the last straw for Hermione, she pulled out the wand and pointed it at the other girl’s throat, “Buckbeak is officially going to be executed, the trial went terrible.” 

Crange swallowed and looked down at the wand, which was placed directly under her chin. She looked back at Hermione and spoke calmly, “That’s unfortunate.” 

“Did you know your mother was going to be there,” Hermione questioned sharply.

“She was there?” 

“Don’t play stupid, just answer the question, and don’t even think about lying!”

Crange held her hands up defensively, “I swear I had no idea Granger, Merlin, calm down.” 

“And why should I believe you? You have been lying this whole time.” 

Crange raised an eyebrow and swallowed heavily, “What’re you talking about? And put your wand down we both know you aren’t going to use it.” 

Hermione huffed and lowered her wand, but she was still giving the other girl her best death glare, “I know you only wanted to help because you wanted information about Sirius Black to pass on to your mother.” 

Hermione saw her eyes harden,and she laugh to herself sarcastically, “You really are the smartest wanker in this fucking school aren’t you? I mean fuck Granger, it’s really not that big of a deal.” 

Hermione took a step closer to Crange, invading her personal space. It didn’t come as a shock when Crange didn’t back down, Hermione knew she never backed down from anyone. Which left the two girls standing face to face, only inches apart. Hermione could see every single detail on Crange’s face from this close. 

Jarum’s face was mesmerizing, just like the rest of her, but her eyes were...different. Hermione had looked at her eyes but she had never really  _ looked  _ at them. They were a light brown color, almost hazel, with seemingly golden spots within them, reminding her of the sun’s kisses. Her eyes were truly the most  _ bewitching  _ thing she had ever had the privilege of staring into. It’s a shame that those same hypnotic eyes were glaring at Hermione with such unbridled rage. 

Hermione internally cursed at herself for getting distracted and responded to Crange, “I was right about you, Crange. You truly are evil, just like your sister, just like your mum. You know it’s funny, how I  _ knew _ you were lying the whole and yet I thought you would  _ actually  _ help.” 

Hermione's eyes widened as Crange took a step closer to her, making it so that there was truly no space between them, “Get over it Granger,” she whispered angrily. 

Crange gently backed up and continued, her tone was angry, but her voice was soft, the two brutally contrasting each other, “You don’t know what it’s like to be Jaia Crange’s sister. She was born perfect and I was born flawed. My whole life, nothing I did was good enough, and I just wanted to make my mother proud of me, for once. So fuck you Granger, I’ll figure out another way.” 

Crange angrily walked off the pitch, holding her broom in one hand and her beater’s bat in the other. When she walked past Hermione, she shoulder checked her,  _ hard _ . Hermione looked at her back, the numbers on her quidditch jersey looking back at her. If she wasn’t so pissed, Hermione might’ve felt bad for her. But she couldn’t find it within herself to sympathize with the other girl. There are other ways to make your parents proud, ways that don’t include lying and being manipulative. 

However, a small part, a part that Hermione was desperately trying to repress, felt as if she could somehow fix the other girl, but it just didn’t seem possible, not now anyways. 

It’s safe to say that Hermione was done with anything that involved Jarum Crange, and instead of feeling relieved, she felt disappointed almost. Their talks on the Astronomy Tower and in the library were actually pleasant, when Jarum wasn’t bickering with Ron. 

But Jarum was a liar and there was nothing Hermione despised more than a liar. Even if the so-called liar had the prettiest eyes she’d ever looked into. Even if the so-called liar was absolutely beautiful. That somehow made it even worse, that Jarum was a beautiful liar. Liars weren’t supposed to be beautiful, they were supposed to foul, awful people. And yet, Jarum Crange was the most beautiful liar Hermione Granger had ever laid eyes on. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, thank you so much for reading, commenting, or leaving kudos, it really keeps me motivated for this story.


	10. A Tiny Infinity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaia should start a campaign for sister of the year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wasn't the longest in length, but it definitely took me the longest to write. There was literally a point to where I had about 2000 words and I just erased everything and started it from scratch. With that being said, I hope you all enjoy this chapter, I worked super hard on it!

When she was younger, her mother had always told her it was impolite to stare, that it was rude and made people self conscious. At first Jarum never understood how staring was impolite, until she got her scar, that’s when she finally understood. Since then, people have always stared at her, and she hated it, because it made her feel as if her whole existence were tainted by the single obvious flaw on her face. With all that being said, Jarum hated staring, until she became the one staring. 

Since that day on the quidditch pitch, Jarum hadn’t been able to take her eyes off Hermione Granger. In the halls, at meals, in class, whenever she was in her vicinity, Jarum’s gaze would instantly latch onto Hermione and wouldn’t let go until she was brought out of her trance by an outside source. Jarum never dwelled on what it meant, she didn’t want to know what it meant. She was perfectly content with staring at Hermione freely, without having to worry about the thoughts that ran so rampantly in her mind. 

Much to Jarum’s chagrin, Hermione never stared back, it was a strange switch in their dynamic. Hermione had always looked at her, always studied her, always found her interesting. And now she didn’t. Jarum would be lying through her teeth if she said that it didn’t sting a little. Now no matter how intensely or how long she stared at Hermione, she never stared back anymore. But Jarum would get her to look back at her, just once, sooner or later she would. 

It’s why Jarum was currently sitting in the back of Charms class, staring at the back of Hermione’s head, who was all the way in front, as usual. She intensely stared at the back of her head in all the classes she had with her, as if she had some telekinetic ability that would force her to stare back. It made for an interesting distraction. 

Draco flicked her ear and she was brought out of her gazing to find that every set of eyes in the classroom were on her, except for the set of eyes she actually cared about. She bit her cheek, the familiar burning of insecurity spreading through her at the fact that she had everyone’s undivided attention. 

“I’m sorry Professor Flitwick can you repeat the question? I didn’t hear it.”

“Of course, Miss Crange. Can you tell me what the proper incantation for the Seize and Pull charm is?” 

Finally a question she  _ actually  _ knew the answer to, “The proper incantation would be Carpe Retractum sir,” she answered confidently. 

Flitwick looked surprised before answering, “Very good Miss Crange, five points to Slytherin.’

Jarum smiled to herself gently, it was the first time she had gotten an answer right all year. As Professor Fliwtick moved to ask another student a different question, Jarum sighed softly in relief as all the attention had finally shifted off her. Or so she thought. Jarum eyes flitted around the room, she had the feeling she was being watched. Her eyes met the soul searching brown eyes that she had been absent from her sight for weeks. Hermione had looked at her for the first time since their fight. Jarum studied her features from afar and Hermione seemed to let her. The other girl was looking at her with a straight face, except for her lips, which twitched upwards slightly for the quickest of moments. 

Jarum watched Hermione take a deep breath and turn back around in her seat. She felt accomplished, that she got Hermione Granger to look back at her. But with the new sense of accomplishment came a new ocean wave of thoughts, harshly drowning her. 

Her thoughts were always louder than any voice she’d ever heard. 

Fortunately, the distracting thoughts were interrupted by Professor Snape entering the Charms classroom. Jarum’s eyes followed his movements across the room and she watched him bend down and whisper something into Flitwick’s ear. 

Professor Flitwick looked directly at Jarum, then he looked at Draco, who was next to her. His eyes flickered around the room at a few more people before he finally spoke up, “Malfoy, Crange, Greengrass, Zabini, and Parkinson, Headmaster Dumbledore has called all of you into his office. Take your things, the lesson was just about finished anyways.” 

Jarum and Draco looked at each other, confusion etched within their features. She also looked at Blaise, Daphne, and Pansy, who looked just as equally confused as she was. They all gathered their things and stepped out into the empty corridors. 

As they were walking Draco turned to her, “Do you know why he’s calling us in?” 

“Do I look like I’m fucking clairvoyant Draco? No, I don’t know why he’s calling all of us into his office, we haven’t done anything too terrible in a while,” Jarum answered, anxiety bubbling within the depths of her stomach. 

When the five of them entered Dumbledore’s office, there were five chairs, seated in front of his desk. He gestured for them to sit down and they complied. 

Draco sat down to the right of her, while Daphne sat down on her left hand side. Pansy and Blaise were on either side of Draco and Daphne, making Jarum seated directly in the middle of all of them.

“Professor Dumbledore, if I may ask,” Daphne began, perfectly poised and calm, she was always the most level headed one out of all of them, “but why are we here? As far as I know we did nothing wrong.” 

Dumbledore leaned forward in his desk, “Yes well, a Gryffindor student was somewhat attacked last night. His bedsheets were torn through with a knife, and we assume this is some kind of prank. Now due to the fact that the five of you are easily the most troublesome Slytherin students, especially Miss Crange, it would be foolish to dismiss the possibility that all of you somehow orchestrated this.” 

Jarum felt her jaw clench down, it was complete and utter bullshit for him to assume that her and her friends were the culprits of this stupid incident. The anxiety she felt earlier began festering into something much worse; pure anger. 

She managed to get her voice under control before spitting out, “While it physically pains me to tell you you’re wrong Headmaster, it wasn’t me. Believe me, you and everyone else would know if it was me.” 

Draco followed up her statement, “Also, don’t you think it’s a bit unfair that you’re only interrogating us? I mean, what if it was someone from another house?” 

Dumbledore rubbed his temples, “Yes, I have considered those possibilities, it’s just more likely that all of you had something to do with this, because the Slyhtherin and Gryffindor house rivalry is easily the most hostile one.”

Jarum scoffed, “This is such horse shit.” 

Dumbldore glared at her, “Language Miss Crange.”

Jarum rolled her eyes and made a move to leave, but was stopped by the sound of the door opening. When she turned around, she was met with the sight of Hermione, Potter and Weasley, walking through the doors of Professor Dumbledore’s office. 

Jarum averted her eyes from Hermione, staring at her right now was too risky, too many people were watching her. 

“Professor,” Potter began, “One of the portraits said that the attack was Sirius Black. He snuck into the common room and cut up Ron’s bedsheets.” 

All the Slytherin students turned to look at Dumbledore, matching fury blazing in their eyes. Jarum was the angriest out of all of them. She stood up, bag slung over her shoulder and spoke with pure venom in her voice, “Are we free to go? Or do you wanna waste our time even further?” 

Dumbledore waved his hand at them, signaling that they were free to leave. Jarum turned around and she sensed her friends get up to follow her out. 

On her way out she passed by Hermione and their eyes met briefly. That brief moment felt like a tiny infinity as everyone else in the world faded into the background. As she looked into Hermione’s eyes, something inside just–changed. For the first time, Jarum let herself think, without any self hate, that Hermione was the most beautiful thing in the world. 

Her tiny infinity with Hermione was broken by Draco, “Out of the way Potter,” he said pushing past them. 

Once she was out of her trance, she allowed the thoughts that she’d been avoiding thinking about to enter her mind, once and for all. 

Amongst all of them, a singular thought stood out to her, the scariest one of them all. The thought that maybe she was gay, but she couldn’t be right? 

Absolutely not. 

Not a chance. 

No. 

Maybe. Just maybe. 

As Jarum stepped into the hallway, she felt her chest grow heavy with the burden of that singular thought. She couldn’t tell a soul that  _ maybe _ , just maybe she was gay. The self hatred she felt was already increasing because of that small maybe. 

***

Jaia looked up at Marcus from the mirror in his dorm, smiling softly at him. She always thought her reflection was prettier when he was a part of it. Sneaking in his room before the Hufflepuff and Slytherin quidditch match was one of the best decisions she had made in a long time. 

As she began fixing her hair and makeup, Marcus walked over to her, still half naked, and wrapped his arms around her slender form. Cinnamon and cedar wood filled her nostrils. He kissed her shoulder and met her eyes through the mirror, “You’re beautiful,” he said softly. 

She smiled to herself, “That’s common knowledge Marcus.” 

He gently turned her around so that she was facing him, “I’m serious Jaia. You’re the definition of beautiful and I see you, I really do.”

Jaia swallowed gently, when she was with Marcus, her insecurities ceased to exist. When she was with him, she didn’t feel the overwhelming need to be perfect, she could be flawed and he would still love her. 

She kissed his lips softly, her heart stopping slightly, the way it always did whenever she kissed him, “Thank you. For seeing me.” 

Being in love with him, made him her biggest weakness, a vulnerability she couldn’t afford. But, Jaia also couldn’t afford to lose him, not again. 

He smiled at her before pulling back slightly, “I don’t mean to ruin the mood, but did you ever actually love Brooks?” 

Jaia’s smile slowly slid off her face, Sterling hadn’t even crossed her mind for quite some time. She had been so irritated with him sending her letters, that she had great difficulty restraining herself from murdering his owl. The more she reflected on her memories with him, the more forced and fake they felt. It was almost as if she weren’t actually feeling those emotions. 

She looked into Marcus’s eyes, “No actually, I don’t think I did. In fact part of me thinks he might’ve slipped me a love potion,” she said the last part with a soft chuckle emitting from her lips. 

When Marcus didn’t laugh along with her, she stopped chuckling. A serious, contemplative expression crossed his features. Jaia didn’t like it, she hated thinking about the blur that was her sixth and seventh year. 

“I think I’m going to find Jarum, she hasn’t sent me a letter in awhile. Good luck, kick some ass today,” she kissed his left cheek, grabbed her overcoat, and sneakily left his dorm. Thankfully the common room was empty as she made her way to the girls dormitory. 

She snuck up to Jarum’s room, and opened the door. Jaia sighed as she realized Jarum was still asleep and the Parkinson and Greengrass girls were staring at her in admiration, as if she were everything they wanted to be. 

Jaia rolled her eyes at the two younger girls, “You two out. Now.” 

They obeyed her and left the room, leaving her and her sleeping sister alone. Jaia walked over to Jarum’s bed and studied her younger sister for a moment. She was slightly drooling and snoring quietly. Her sister was such an ugly sleeper. 

Jaia flicked Jarum on the forehead, “Wake up sleepyhead,” she said with a hint of humor in her tone. 

Jarum shot up on her bed, “What the fuck Jaia! How did you even get in here?!” 

Jaia let out a noise between a snort and a laugh, “I snuck in here dumbass.” 

“Why?” 

“Why do you think, to see Marcus,” she paused as Jarum’s features contorted into disgust, “and you I guess.” 

Jarum threw a pillow at her, “You’re sick, Jaia.” 

Jaia smirked at her sister, “Anyways I figured we should catch up a little bit before your match.” 

Jarum nodded, “Okay, but not here.” 

Jaia shrugged and occupied herself as Jarum changed into her quidditch uniform, and she opted to put a sweater on over her jersey, instead of the cape. 

They sneakily exited the dorms and the Slytherin dungeon and entered the empty corridors. Jaia looked at Jarum, “So where do you want to talk?” 

“The Wooden Bridge, I guess,” shrugged Jarum. 

Jaia frowned, it was pouring fucking rain outside and she didn’t feel like getting wet before the quidditch match, but the bridge did have a covering over it, so Jaia went along with Jarum. 

Once they were there, Jaia lit a cigarette, while Jarum leaned on one of the heavy beams. It was silent for a peaceful moment, as both sisters just listened to the downfall of rain. 

Jarum was the first to break the quietness, “I’ve always hated the rain and getting wet. I can’t believe that I have to play in this type of fucking weather.” 

Jaia exhaled the smoke from her mouth, “I agree, little sister, rainy weather is disgusting.”

Jarum asked quietly, “Is mother coming today.” 

Jaia felt the familiar feeling of pity for her sister, she had always gotten the short end of every stick. Despite all the shit Jilda had put Jaia through, it was painfully obvious that she was loved more than Jarum was. Sometimes Jaia believed that their mother didn’t even love Jarum at all. 

Over the past few months, Jaia had felt a growing, festering hatred for her mother. It’s not like she could ever express it to anyone, everyone she knew held her mother on a high pedestal. Including Jarum, who wanted nothing more than their mother’s approval, too bad she would never get it. Because if Jaia, the most “perfect” daughter in the world could only get a sliver of approval, there’s no chance in hell Jarum would ever accomplish the seemingly impossible task of receiving approval from Jilda Crange.

Jaia took a long drag of her cigarette, “She said she was busy.” 

“Busy with what?” 

“I don’t know, you should be glad she isn’t coming, Jarum. Maybe that’ll take some pressure off of you,” Jaia reasoned. 

Jarum scoffed, “Easy for you to say, you’ve always been the favorite.” 

Jaia continued smoking her cigarette, unbothered, she really didn’t feel like fighting with her sister today, “Look Jarum, the feeling of _ begging  _ for someone’s love or approval is one of the shittiest feelings in the world.”

“And how would you know, you’ve always been loved.” 

Jaia shrugged, the only person who knew about her insecurities was Marcus, and it’s not like she ever told him, he just knew her that well, “Believe me I know.”

Jaia watched as Jarum fidgeted with her hands, a nervous habit that she’d always had. Jarum seemed different today, more quiet, as if she were lugging around some burden. She was always so easy to read. Jaia decided to pry, “Anything you wanna tell me?” 

Jarum breathed out heavily and walked closer to Jaia, as if she were afraid of someone overhearing. Her face looked pained as if she had just fought a war, and maybe she had. Jarum avoided looking at Jaia as she continued to fidget, “I’ve been having these…these thoughts about th-this, this girl.” 

Jaia raised an eyebrow, “Murderous thoughts?” 

“No Jaia, not murderous thoughts,” Jarum took a deep breath and exhaled, “Confusing thoughts, the ones that keep me up at night. Because I don’t know what they mean o-or how I could accept myself if those thoughts turned into something more.” 

And then it clicked inside Jaia’s brain, her sister was questioning her sexuality. Jaia felt even worse for her sister, if she was gay, then that was just another wall she would have to climb, she was so young and seh’d already been put through hell by their mother and father, when he was still alive. 

Jaia handed Jarum her cigarette as if to say, ‘You’re going to need it.’ Jarum hesitantly took it from her and took a drag, only coughing slightly. When Jarum exhaled the smoke, Jaia spoke up, “There’s nothing wrong with those thoughts. I know that you and I have always lived by mother’s rules, but...she’s not always right you know. Those thoughts are normal, it doesn’t always mean that you’re like that. And if you do happen to be a…a sapphic just know that there’s nothing wrong with that either.” 

Jarum looked at her, the cigarette dangling loosely in her mouth, and unshed tears shining in her eyes. It was at moments like these that Jaia realized how much she truly loved her sister. And how much she regretted taking her insecurities out on her. Jaia could tell Jarum was holding back tears as she spoke, “H-how will I know…if I’m, you know, like that.” 

Jaia breathed lightly through her nose, “You’ll just know.” 

Jarum took the nearly finished cigarette out her mouth and crushed it under her shoe. Once she crushed it, Jaia pulled her into a tight, warm embrace, she was trying to make up for all the years she was gone at Hogwarts and Jarum was left alone with their mother. She leaned up and whispered against Jarum’s hair, “You’ll always be my annoying little sister.” 

Jarum let out a watery chuckle, “And you’ll always be my bitchy older sister.” 

Jaia laughed as she pulled away, she rubbed Jarum’s shoulders comfortingly, “You better win today. Because it would be pretty embarrassing, if I had sex with Marcus, gave you the most amazing pep talk of your life, and the two of still manage to lose to fucking Hufflepuff of all houses.” 

Jarum fake gagged in disgust, “You really could’ve kept the sex part to yourself.” 

Jaia smacked her in the back of her head playfully, “Go get ready before Marcus has a fucking brain aneurysm.”

Jarum smiled at her sister as she retreated backwards. As she watched her jog back towards her dorm, Jaia made a silent vow that she would protect her sister from that point forward. By any means necessary. 

***

There’s a popular saying, Hermione’s heard it a million times, that the eyes are a window to a person’s soul. She never believed it, until she looked into Jarum’s eyes in Dumbedore’s office a few days prior. She had looked into her eyes plenty of times, but they were always so guarded, so full of anger, but in Dumbledore’s office there was something different about them. And it felt like for the first time ever, Hermione truly saw her, it just intrigued her even more. 

Hermione was supposed to hate her, Jarum was a liar, manipulative, and had a cruel personality. She had lied to Hermione for her own personal gain. But she just couldn’t, especially not after looking into her eyes again, Hermione knew that there was more to her than that. She had to have a reason for acting the way she did, right? Maybe that’s why Jarum had been staring at her these past few weeks, Hermione always assumed they were looks of hatred, that’s why she never looked back. But maybe she was wrong. 

Hermione readjusted her scarf around her neck as she walked to the quidditch pitch, Ron had insisted that she come to the match, even though it was Slytherin versus Hufflepuff. And she had agreed, for obvious reasons. Gryffindor was also playing against Ravenclaw right after, so she could always use that as an excuse. 

Hermione was so busy adjusting her scarf, that she wasn’t looking where she was going, she felt a soft body collide with hers. She looked up and was met with the sight of Jaia Crange, of all people. It was odd, that while she was thinking about one sister, she quite literally bumped in the other sister. 

Jaia looked at her and the first thing Hermione noticed was that her eyes were noticeably several shades darker than her sister’s. Jaia’s eyes were a closed and locked window, and Hermione felt small and insignificant under her gaze, the elder Crange sister was known to have that effect on people. 

Hermione managed to find her voice, “Sorry, I uh, wasn’t looking where I was going.”

Jaia raised an eyebrow at her and said in a low, raspy voice, “Yea I could tell, you literally walked right into me.” 

Hermione decided to play dumb, Jaia Crange wasn’t as appealing to her as her sister, but she was still interesting nonetheless, “You’re Jaia Crange right.”

Jaia tilted her head slightly, “What’s it to you?” 

“Nothing, it’s just um, I’m friends with your sister, Jarum,” Hermione lied. 

Jaia’s face remained impassive, “Really,” she questioned disbelievingly, “I didn’t know Jarum was friends with a Gryffindor.”

Hermione felt uneasiness creep into her body while under Jaia’s scrutinizing gaze, “Well I just tutor her in Transfiguration sometimes.” 

Jaia finally looked away from her and smirked, “My sister is definitely not the best in school, but she certainly isn’t stupid.”

Hermione nodded in agreement, she didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t help but feel as if she was inferior to Jaia. Merlin, this girl was fucking intense, she was more intsense than Jarum, and that was saying something. 

Jaia began to walk towards what Hermione assumed was the Slytherin quidditch stands, “Well this conversation has been...pleasant. Enjoy the game nameless Gryffinodor,” right before Jaia walked past her she leaned over to whisper in her ear softly, “If you truly sre tutoring her, like you say, don’t ever make my sister feel stupid, okay?”

Hermione nodded furiously, and once Jaia was completely out of her sight, she breathed out heavily in relief. The other girl was fucking intimating up close, and Hermione felt insecure around her because she was so perfect, there was literally no other way to describe Jaia Crange. 

Hermione completed her journey to the Gryffindor stands, right as the Slytherin team began flying out. The rain that was viciously pouring earlier that morning had slowed to a soft, barely noticeable drizzle. Hermione was slightly disappointed, she had always inexplicably loved feeling the rain. She heard the Slytherin stands noise level increase by several decibels as Jarum flew in front of them, in an arrogant and showboat manner. 

Hermione shook her head, she couldn’t blame her, Jarum had become one of Slytherins best players even though they had only played one game. Hermione watched as Jarum went to the middle of the pitch where her other teammates were. 

Once the balls were released, Jarum’s demeanor instantly flipped to serious and focused, almost too focused. Hermione watched as she impressively flew around the pitch, effortlessly keeping the bludgers away from her teammates, while ruthlessly hitting them towards members of the Hufflepuff team. 

“Bloody hell,” said Ron, interrupting her staring, “Crange may be a huge bitch, but she’s an absolute beast when it comes to quidditch.”

“Yea she is, isn’t she,” Hermione replied, barely even paying attention to what Ron had said. She resumed her staring, Jarum being the only player she watched. 

Sometime during the game, a bludger had been hurling towards the Gryffindor stands, and Jarum had quickly beat it away. Before she flew off, she briefly looked back at Hermione, and their eyes met yet again. In the small second that Jarum looked back at her, a myriad of different emotions passed through her eyes. While Hermione didn’t know what any of it meant, she basked in the feeling that Jarum definitely didn’t hate her. She knew Jarum didn’t hate her, just based on that small look that may have meant a million different things, but hate wasn’t one of them.

Hermione smiled to herself, unaware of the quizzical looks that Ron was giving her. She continued to watch the game, with a gentle smile on her face. 

About thirty minutes later, Draco was fiercely chasing after the snitch, way ahead of the Hufflepuff seeker, Cedric Diggory. Just before his fingers were about clasp onto it, a bludger came speeding at him furiously. Hermione heard him call out Jarum’s name in a panicky voice, but Jarum was all the way on the other side of the pitch. 

Hermione watched as she flew rapidly towards Draco, everyone in the audience watched in awe. It seemed as if Jarum was moving at an impossible speed, she reached Draco just before the bludger and beat it away, allowing Draco to catch the snitch, securing the Slytherin victory. 

The cheering from the Slytherin stands was deafening and Hermione couldn’t help but feel proud, she didn’t know much about Jarum’s personal life, but she knew that she had always been overshadowed by her sister. So it was good for her, that she was finally in the spotlight, for once.    
  


The smile slipped off of Hermione’s face as she realized a stray buldger was flying towards Jarum, and she was too busy celebrating to notice. Hermione opened her mouth to shout out a warning, but by then the bludger had already made contact with Jarum’s side, knocking her off her broom.

All the noise seemed to be sucked out of the audience as Jarum fell from her broom and began hurtling towards the ground. Hermione watched in horror as the rest of the Slytherin quidditch team began racing after her, trying to catch her, but she was falling too fast. 

Hermione impulsively pulled out her wand, pointed it at Jarum’s falling body and shouted,  _ “Arresto Momentum!” _

She ignored the strange looks she received from everyone around her, and focused on Jarum’s body as it slowed down slightly. Hermione felt her heart physically stop when Jarum’s body hit the ground with a soft thud. 

Once Marcus Flint was close enough to the ground he practically jumped off his broom and sprinted over to Jarum who was lying motionless on the ground. He scooped her up in his arms and quickly made his way off the pitch and the rest of the team followed him. Hermione assumed he was headed towards the hospital wing. 

“Excuse me,” she muttered to Ron, who was still as shocked as everyone else. 

“Mione, where’re you going,” he shouted after her. 

“I have to go do something for Flitwick, I just remembered,” she lied. For someone who hated liars, Hermione was beginning to pick up the habit of lying for Jarum Crange. 

She made her way out of the quidditch stands and towards the castle. She couldn’t risk being seen by one of the Slytherin students, so she sneakily walked in the corridors and hid just around the corner from the hospital wing. 

Hermione heard the clicking of heels and she saw Jaia Crange, storming furiously towards the wing. She slammed open the doors and started screaming at everyone in the room, she was so loud that Hermione could make out most of the conversation.

“Who the actual  _ fuck _ is in charge of making sure that the fucking bludgers don’t knock someone the fuck out?! Especially after the fucking game is over?”

“Miss Crange,” Hermione heard, she assumed it was Madam Pompfrey, “I understand you are upset, but please refrain from using that kind of foul language.”

“Upset,” Jaia let out a sarcastic laugh, “Upset doesnt even  _ begin  _ to describe just how fucking pissed I am. My sister just fell from four hundred feet, her broom is in absolute pieces, who knows how many fucking bones she’s broken, and you expect me not to be upset!”

“She’s resting now, and most of her injuries will heal quickly, she just needs to stay here for a few days and she’ll be fine,” said Madam Pompfrey, still attempting to calm Jaia down. 

“Okay everyone but me out. Now,” Jaia barked at the Slytherin team, “Yes that includes you Malfoy.”

Hermione pressed herself flat against the wall as the team shuffled out of the wing, thankfully none of them saw her. Hermione waited until she was absolutely sure that no one would see her, before walking silently into the hospital wing, where Jaia was beside Jarum’s bed, quietly watching her. 

Without turning around, Jaia said to her, “You can come sit down, I don’t bite.”

Hermione slowly made her way over to Jarum’s bed and sat on the opposite side of Jaia. “Is she going to be okay,” she muttered softly, not wanting to wake Jarum up. 

“Well,” Jaia began, “She has several broken ribs, her left shoulder was pulled completely out of its socket, a concussion, and several bones in her right arm are broken, but according to Madam Pomfrey, she’ll be fine.”

Hermione studied Jarum, unaware that Jaia was watching her. She looked beautiful, even like this, Hermione just wished she could see those eyes again. 

“Are you the girl?” Jaia asked, making Hermione look away from Jarum. 

“What?”

A small crack was evident in Jaia’s facial features, for a moment she looked panicked. She quickly regained her composure before saying, “Nothing, don’t worry about it. I just realized that I never got your name earlier.”

“I’m Hermione Granger.”

Jaia gave her a small smile and Hermione noticed that she didn’t have the layers to her smile like Jarum did nor did she have dimples. She began to get up, “I should get going, I need to go yell at Marcus for not being fast enough to catch my sister while she was falling. But meeting you wasn’t terribly unpleasant.”

Hermione assumed that was a compliment, she watched as Jaia began to walk out of the room, heels clicking against the tile as she did so. Just before Jaia exited, she paused and turned around to look at Hermione, dark brown eyes burning into her, “Look after my sister Granger.”

Hermione nodded and Jaia left, leaving her and Jarum completely alone. Jarum looked younger when she slept, more at peace. Hermione assumed it was because she wasn’t angry when she slept. Jarum always seemed so angry at the world when she was awake. 

She must’ve sat there for hours, watching Jarum sleep peacefully. Once day slowly faded into night, Hermione decided it would probably be best if she went back to the Gryffindor Tower. When she made a move to leave, she felt a pinky slowly reach out grip hers softly. Hermione felt her heart happily speed up, and she whipped back around to see those golden-brown eyes staring back at her. 

Jarum tightened her grip on her pinky, “Stay Granger,” she muttered. 

Hermione nodded and sat back down on her hospital bed. She would stay for as long as Jarum wanted her to. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter was enjoyable, thank you so much for reading!


	11. Angel Inside a Demon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much character development and parts of Jarum's backstory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, literally so much has happened in the past week, it's crazy. I had to take a day break after the riots at the capital because it just filled me with so much anger. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I'm so eager to see how you guys respond!

It was strange really, Jarum didn’t remember falling off her broom, she didn’t remember the feeling of freefalling through the air, nor how it felt when her body made contact with the ground. She didn’t remember the things she should have remembered, instead she remembered the most minuscule seemingly unimportant detail. The feeling of Hermione’s pinky wrapped gently in hers. It gave her such an unfamiliar feeling, a feeling that she  _ liked _ and for once she wasn’t afraid to admit that to herself. 

She slowly opened her eyes from a peaceful sleep and the first thing she saw was the blindingly white ceiling of the hospital wing. There was a distinct stabbing pain in her ribs, she felt a painful pounding at the front of her skull, and pins and needles were poking through her right arm. 

She winced as she tried to sit up, but she was gently pushed back down by a soft hand on her chest. She looked up to see Hermione smiling gently down at her, “Madam Pompfrey said you shouldn’t try to sit up right now, your ribs are still in the process of healing.”

Jarum laid back down and Hermione removed the hand that was on her chest. Jarum almost wanted to snatch the girl’s hand back and revel in the warmth and comfort it provided her. And maybe if her arm wasn’t currently in severe pain, she would have. 

“Did you stay overnight or something Granger,” she asked, while slightly craning her neck to look at Hermione. 

Hermione must’ve sensed that she was having trouble looking at her, so she moved from the end of the bed and to the open space next to where Jarum was laying. Hermione looked down at her with an inexplicable softness in her eyes, “No, I left late last night and woke up early and came here. Do you remember anything Jarum? You did hit your head pretty hard.”

Jarum looked away from Hermione as she tried to fill the gaps in her memory. She didn’t remember anything else, except the sound of the Slytherin crowd cheering for her and Draco, and then the feeling of Hermione’s hand. Jarum swallowed before speaking, “I only remember celebrating with Draco, because we had just won, of course. And then,” she paused, wondering if she should say the other part of what she remembered, but she decided against it, “And then, I remember waking up, just now,” she lied, while looking away from Hermione. 

Hermione nodded at her and looked at her, studying her features. Jarum didn’t feel uncomfortable when Hermione stared, like she did when other people looked at her. 

“Well I’m glad you’re okay. I was just so…worried, that you were going to die or something.” 

Jarum smiled softly, “Well thanks, for being concerned about whether or not I would die.” 

Hermione laughed softly and Jarum remembered just how enamored she’d become with that beautiful sound. Hermione still had a fond smile on her face when she said softly, “I think we should talk about everything that’s happened. I mean I just want to understand you, but I’m not exactly a mind reader.” 

Jarum sighed softly, fighting Hermione, someone who was only trying to understand her was pointless, “Yea, I think we should too.” 

Hermione beamed at her, “Okay great. Um, tonight? On the Astronomy Tower?” 

“Yea, that sounds…brilliant actually.” 

A comfortable silence ensued between the two girls as they stared at each other softly. Jarum felt her heart rate speed up, but it wasn’t from anxiety, which was often the reason her heart rate increased. Hermione Granger was smiling down at her, and it was one of the most comforting sights she’d ever seen. 

After a few more minutes of gentle staring, Hermione cleared her throat and stood up, “Well I should get to class, I don’t want to be late. But, I’ll see you tonight.” 

Jarum felt her cheeks heat up at the thought of talking to Hermione on the Astronomy Tower, like they had done only a few times before, “Yea, see you tonight.” 

When Hermione was completely out of the hospital wing, Jarum smiled so hard that her cheeks began to hurt. Because of what Jaia had told her, letting herself think about Hermione was extraordinarily easier. It was still hard to keep the self hating thoughts out of her brain. The thoughts that told her she was sick and vile and that her soul was poisoned. Her whole life it had been drilled into her head that same-sex relationships were immorally wrong and unnatural. 

But it was getting easier, thankfully. 

The next time Jarum woke up it was later in the morning. Jarum could tell, based on the pale, almost white sunlight that was now streaming through the wide windows in the hospital wing. Small dust particles were visible in the streaks of sunlight, it made Jarum’s nose itch. 

Jarum was also able to tell that time had passed, because she no longer felt a stabbing pain in her ribs and she could sit up without too much trouble. 

Right as she finished pulling herself into a sitting position on the bed, Draco slammed open the doors of the hospital wing, making Madam Pomfrey jump slightly in fear at the noise. 

As he walked past her, he glared in the older woman’s direction and seethed, “Don’t even try to stop me.” 

Jarum rolled her eyes at his antics, he had such an annoying knack for slamming doors open and entering rooms overdramatically, it reminded her of Jaia, those two had the biggest thirst for theatrics. He strutted over to her bed and pulled up an extra chair, so he was right beside her bedside. 

Jarum raised an eyebrow at him, “I think your entrance just gave me a fucking migraine.” 

Draco smiled sarcastically at her, “I think it’s just the concussion you got from your idiotic brain smacking around in your thick skull.” 

Jarum smirked at him, “I know you were worried about me sunshine,” she teased. 

Draco scoffed, “As if.” 

“Okay but seriously, what the hell happened. I don’t remember anything except celebrating with you. And then next thing I know, I’m in a fucking hospital bed, with my ribs and both arms banadged.” 

Draco swallowed heavily, his Adam's Apple bobbing, he seemed to hesitate slightly, as if recalling the details were painful for him to remember. And even though he wouldn’t say it out loud, Jarum knew Draco cared about her,  _ a lot _ . So watching her fall from a few hundred feet in the air must’ve been a scary sight. 

When he spoke, it was quiet, sort of like a near whisper, “Yea, we were celebrating, because we had just won the match, and that puts us in the finals against Gryffindor. And out of nowhere, this wild bludger comes flying at you and knocks you off your broom. A-and I swear that the crowd turned absolutely silent, like someone had used a vacuum to suck out all of the noise,” Draco paused and took a shaky deep breath before continuing, “You were falling so fast, I swear you would’ve died if someone hadn’t yelled out that spell.” 

Jarum furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, “What spell?” 

“Someone yelled out ‘Arresto Momentum’ as you were falling and it slowed you down, greatly. Whoever it was that yelled that spell out probably saved you from becoming brain dead.” 

While Jarum didn’t have the slightest memory of falling, she knew deep down that it was Hermione who had yelled out the spell. It just sounded like something she would do for her. Hermione, who she had been a complete dick to, had saved her life without a second thought, without hesitation. 

Fuck. Jarum was so angry at herself, she had lied and manipulated Hermione for no other reason than the fact that she had a compulsive need to please her mother. She needed that motherly approval, because with the approval came love. And Jarum wanted to feel the love that Jaia had received her whole life, even if it was just for a moment. 

Draco continued the story, “Marcus tried to catch up to you on his broom, but you were already too close to the ground. And then you finally landed. Hard. It looked as if every bone in your body was broken just by that single impact. Like I swear you…you died. You weren’t even moving, it didn’t even look like you were breathing.” Draco looked stressed as he ran his hand through his hair. “Marcus picked you up off the ground as if you weighed nothing and rushed you here, I swear I’ve never seen him run  _ that  _ fast before. Madam Pompfrey complained about your frequent visits to the hospital wing, Jaia shows up in her usual dramatic fashion and orders everyone out of the room. Once we get out into the hallway, everyone on the team with the addition of Daphne and Pansy, start freaking the hell out. I could’ve sworn I saw Daphne crying, we really thought you were dead. And then Jaia joins us in the hallway…and she loses it. I mean, she starts screaming at Marcus for not catching you, as if it was his fault, she threatened to hex the entire Slytherin house for not warning you, and she started saying how she was going to, and I quote, ‘murder me in my sleep if you got injured again this year.’” 

Draco looked at her as he finished and Jarum burst out laughing, “That’s the funniest shit I’ve ever heard. Well not the part where I was falling and almost died. But all of you are really that terrified of someone who isn’t even five foot five? I mean I know she’s intimidating, but she’s quite tiny really.”

Draco tried to look serious, but her laughter was too contagious to ignore and he too started laughing along with her. Jarum winced sharply after a particularly hard chuckle caused the sharp pain in her ribs to reappear. 

Draco’s serious expression returned as she gently rubbed her ribs. Jarum looked at him, confused, “Why're you looking at me like that?” 

He swallowed heavily, “I need to tell you something. It’s something that has been weighing on me, for quite some time now. And I…I-I don’t want to pretend to be someone I’m not, especially around you, because you’re my best friend and I don’t want to lie to you anymore.” 

Jarum watched as tears sprang in his eyes, while she might’ve had a feeling about what he was going to tell her, she didn’t want to make it any less meaningful for him. Jarum nodded, fully supportive, and she reached over to grip his hand, “You can tell me Draco, I promise.” 

Draco opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He was struggling greatly, he kept opening and closing his mouth, as if that would somehow force the words out. Jarum’s grip tightened on his hand and she looked at him softly. 

Draco breathed shakily, before looking at Jarum with tears in his gray eyes, “I…I uh, I’m gay,” he said finally. 

As soon as he said it, the tears began flowing freely down his face and quiet sobs emerged from his body. Jarum didn’t know what to do, she didn’t know how to comfort people, or how to deal with someone else’s emotions. She was so used to Draco being this perfect, emotionally numb boy that him actually feeling something nearly overwhelmed her. 

She hesitantly leaned over to him and wrapped her arms around him softly. He responded by holding onto her midsection tightly and crying into her shoulder. 

Jarum tried to be as comforting as possible, it was a serious situation and Draco needed someone to comfort him, to let him know that it was okay. She pulled his face out of her shoulder and cupped it gently. She looked him right in the eyes, as she tried to remember the same words Jaia told her, “I’m so proud of you Draco. And there is  _ nothing  _ wrong with you. You don’t have to hate yourself for who you are, you’re perfectly normal. And I’m so glad that I was the first person you told, I don’t see you any differently. You’re still my best friend, and you’ll always be my best friend, no matter what.” 

Draco nodded at her and hugged her midsection once again and rested his chin on her shoulder. Jarum lightly kissed the top of his head and he sighed against her. Draco needed to be held, and that’s exactly what she did. 

Jarum looked up and she saw Hermione standing to the entrance of the hospital wing, watching her and Draco with an expression on her face that Jarum couldn’t quite read. When their eyes met, Jarum gave her a smile that she knew would show her dimples and Hermione smiled back gently. 

Hermione looked back at Draco, who still had his face buried in Jarum’s shoulder. And without another word, she turned on her heel and walked out of the hospital wing. Jarum was fine with it. She would see her tonight anyways. 

Jarum held onto Draco a little bit tighter, she didn’t really have a lot of love to give, but she was giving him every single ounce that she had in her body. 

***

Hermione understood a lot of things, she was considered the brightest witch of her age after all. Her ability to easily grasp difficult subjects with ease, made her far smarter than all her other classmates, when it came to school. 

When it came to people, Hermione often struggled to read them and understand their behaviors. Like Draco Malfoy for example, she didn’t understand why he always wanted Harry to notice him. It didn’t make that much sense. She also didn’t understand Jarum, but she wanted to, badly. 

However the main person Hermione didn’t understand, was herself. She didn’t understand how she could see all of Jarum’s negative traits first and still be drawn to her. As if she were some kind of fucking siren, who’s irresistible song was drawing her in only to kill her. 

But then again, maybe Hermione was right about her. Seeing her hug Draco Malfoy earlier that day in the hospital wing was enough evidence that maybe Jarum was more than a manipulative liar. Maybe there was an angel inside the supposed demon that was Jarum Crange. 

Sometimes Hermione wished she could walk around in Jarum’s mind, just see what the other girl thought sometimes. And why she acted so cold and cruel in one moment and kind and caring in the next. 

Hermione had neglected her Transfiguration homework and was currently starring in the glowing embers of the crackling fire in the Gryffindor common room. She watched as the flames danced around each other, it was the most calm she’d been in months. She was stressed out with the amount of classes she was taking, Buckbeak’s execution, and the never ending thoughts about Jarum Crange. 

Her small wave of calmness was broken when she overheard a conversation that greatly piqued her interest. 

“It’s a shame that Crange is most likely brain dead,” said George, talking to Ginny, Fred, and Angelina Johnson, “she had so much potential.” 

Hermione heard Ginny scoff, before saying almost dreamily, “Potential? She was the best beater I’ve ever seen.” 

Hermione clenched her fingers around her unused quill, she knew she wasn’t the only one who…admired Jarum, but that didn’t mean she’d enjoy hearing other people talk about her in that way. 

“So, George and I just don’t exist anymore?” Asked Fred sarcastically. 

This time it was Angelina Johnson who spoke, “No Ginny is right, the two of you are excellent beaters,” she assured both of the twins before continuing, “but Crange is just on a whole other level. She’s only in third year and she’s the reason the Slytherin team has been so successful this year.” 

“That’s rubbish,” the twins said in unison. 

Hermione tuned out from the rest of their conversation and tried her best to complete all of her homework assignments, even if she was two weeks ahead in all her classes. 

The next time Hermione looked up from her school, the common room was dead silent and empty. Hermione glanced to the windows to see that it was pitch black outside. 

Hermione’s heartbeat sped up in excitement as she crept back up to her dorm and put on a scarf that would keep her warm against the invasive cold weather. She snuck back down to the common room, opened the portrait as quietly as possible, and snuck out into the deserted corridors. 

Hermione made the long familiar trek up the stairs to the tower, slightly panting as she did so. There were so many fucking stairs. Once she was at the top, she opened the door and stepped out into the cold night. 

She looked to her left and was met with the sight of Jarum sitting down, leaning back against the tower, with her long legs laying flatly in front of her. Hermione admired her for a moment. Her long curly hair gently framed her face, her breath clouded in front of her every time she exhaled. She was effortlessly beautiful and she didn’t even know it. 

“Granger,” Jarum addressed her without looking at her. 

“Crange,” Hermione countered. 

Jarum finally looked over at her, and Hermione saw that her eyes were laughing, practically dancing in amusement, “Are you going to sit down or are you going to stare at me all night?” she teased slightly. 

Hermione rolled her eyes playfully as she made her way over to Jarum and sat down next to her, she was so close that their thighs were gently touching. Jarum seemed to be aware of the distance between them as well and she didn’t seem to mind that they were in such close proximity to one another. 

“Thank you,” Hermione turned her neck to look at Jarum who had begun speaking, “Draco told me someone had yelled out a spell that saved me, and I knew it was you. So thank you for saving me, even though you were furious with me at the time.” 

Hermione smiled softly before looking at Jarum, “I wasn’t  _ mad  _ at you, I mean at first I was, because I hate being lied to. But as time went on, I realized that I didn’t necessarily understand you. And I want to understand you, Jarum.”

Jarum looked away from her and leaned her head back on the wall, closing her eyes. Seeing as the other girl was quiet, Hermione spoke again, “I won’t judge, I promise. You don’t have to be afraid to open up to me,” Jarum’s head slowly turned to face her and Hermione returned her gaze, “Help me understand you.” 

Jarum exhaled a shaky breath, the cold air causing a light cloud to form in front of her lips. She then swallowed before speaking, “When I was eight years old, Jaia had dropped this priceless emerald necklace and it had caused the stone in it to shatter, it was an heirloom that had been in our family for over five hundred years. She lied and said it was me who had broken it, and my parents believed her. Because how could their perfect daughter ever make a mistake and break something right?” she chuckled humorlessly before continuing, “So as a punishment, my father takes this ancient, cursed knife and drags it down the side of my face. Giving me this,” she finished gently running her fingers along the length of her scar. 

Hermione watched as Jarum discreetly wiped a tear away before continuing, “And since then I’ve just felt so…angry at everything all the time. Because I just feel like an imperfect burden, who can never do anything right. A-and I just feel like I have to do whatever it takes, so my mother can love me and I can stop feeling like I’m just a useless, flawed weight that my family begrudgingly lugs around.” 

Jarum brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them and Hermione felt her heart break at the sight, she looked so small. She felt so much sympathy for Jarum, life had really dealt her some shitty cards. Her backstory did explain the reasoning behind a lot of her actions. The way her anger stemmed from never feeling like she was good enough, the way she was always second to her sister, how she would do anything for her mother’s approval. It just all made sense, like all the pieces in a puzzle coming together to form a beautiful twisted image. 

“Look at me Jarum,” the other girl looked up from her knees and into Hermione’s eyes, “I’m sorry that happened to you, I really am. But I don't think you’re a burden, I think you’re extraordinary, truly.” 

Jarum gave her a weak smile, “You think so?” 

“I know so,” Hermione stated firmly, her voice not wavering in the slightest. 

Jarum’s smile reached her eyes this time and Hermione realized that she had a perfectly charming smile. It reminded her of the movie stars she saw on the television. A movie star smile, that’s the kind of smile Jarum had. 

Hermione hesitantly leaned her head on Jarum’s shoulder, emboldened by the fact that Jarum had opened up to her. Hermione might’ve imagined it, but she could’ve sworn that Jarum scooted closer to her so that Hermione would feel more comfortable putting her head on her shoulder. Jarum smelled strongly like coconut and vanilla, and Hermione decided it was her new favorite scent. 

Once her head was fully rested on her shoulder, Hermione spoke out into the night air, “I think we’d make good friends. Don’t you think?” 

Though she would deny it to the fullest, Hermione silently prayed that her friendship with Jarum would blossom into something more one day. But that was just wishful thinking, there was no way Jarum was gay, or even bisexual. 

Hermione’s eyes flicked upwards towards Jarum’s face as she answered, “Friends, yea. I’d like that.” 

She smiled against Jarum’s shoulder, “Okay, so as friends, I think we should name something we both like about each other, instead of insulting each other.” 

“What if I don’t like anything about you Granger,” Jarum teased lightly. 

Hermione rolled her eyes, “There has to be something you like about me. But since you’re having trouble thinking of something, I’ll go first. I like your smile, especially when I can see your dimples.” 

Jarum looked moved her head back slightly to look at her fully, and Hermione did the same. They both did the extremely familiar action of committing each other’s features to memory. Hermione was looking into Jarum’s golden-brown eyes, which held an unreadable expression in them. Hermione’s eyes flicked down to her full lips as she realized that if she wanted to kiss her, she could, all she had to do was move two inches forward and press their lips together. But she decided against it, kissing her without consent would be considered violating her and Hermione didn’t want to do that to Jarum, not after she had worked so hard to get her to open up to her. 

“You really like my smile Hermione?” She could feel the air from Jarum’s whispered words hit her lips, she was so entranced by the tingles that were erupting over her body, that she didn’t even realize that Jarum had called her by her first name. 

Hermione swallowed and nodded, “I think it’s breathtaking.” 

“Think that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” Jarum replied, her face still extremely close to Hermione’s. 

“Well you’re welcome,” Hermione said as she broke the intense eye contact and leaned her head back on Jarum’s shoulder. 

Hermione’s eyes flicked down to Jarum’s lap, where her hands were twitching slightly in her lap. Hermione impulsively copied what Jarum did to her in the hospital wing, she gripped her pinky with hers, and held it. Her heartbeat sped up as soon as her skin made contact with Jarum’s. 

Hermione didn’t notice the way Jarum’s breath hitched nor did she notice the way Jarum smiled softly to herself. Something she did notice was that Jarum’s pinky was absurdly cold, normally Hermione hated cold hands. She thought they were extremely uncomfortable to touch and hold. But when it came to Jarum, Hermione didn’t mind, she figured her hand was warm enough for the both of them. 

“So,” Hermione began, “Are you going to tell me what you like about me?” 

“Get back to me in a few weeks, I’m still deciding.” 

Hermione scoffed, “You’re insufferable Crange.” 

“That’s no way to treat your new friend,” Jarum teased, acting offended. 

“Oh shut up.” 

“As you wish,” Jarum said while smiling, before going completely silent. 

Hermione enjoyed the silence between them as they both looked up the sky which was freckled with stars. Hermione snuggled deeper into Jarum’s shoulder and she felt Jarum grip her pinky harder. She could get used to being her friend, it was such a comforting feeling. 

“Do you see any constellations tonight?” Hermione asked. 

Hermione’s eyes tried to follow Jarum’s facial movements, it was difficult due to the angle she was at. Jarum tore her eyes away from her and looked at the sky, and after a few moments she pointed to a string of stars, “That's the constellation Canis Major, it’s known as the Great Dog constellation, with eight main stars. It’s quite interesting really.” 

Hermione thought Jarum’s face was much more interesting than the constellations she was talking about, but she wouldn’t admit that out loud. 

“How do you know so much about constellations?” 

“I just like looking at the sky,” Jarum shrugged simply, “And I’ve read plenty of books about Astronomy, it’s just an interesting subject to me.” 

Hermione sighed softly, she enjoyed being this close to Jarum, “Tell me more then.” Astronomy was a foreign subject to her and normally she would be upset with not knowing everything, but when it came to Jarum, she didn’t really mind being clueless about cerain things. 

As Jarum began to talk passionately about the stars, Hermione felt so at peace listening to the sound of her soft, calming voice. The air became colder as the night went on, but Hermione didn’t care. She would be content with freezing to death in the dark night if it meant she could listen to the beautiful melody of Jarum’s voice informing her mindlessly about the stars in the night sky. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading, the next chapter will be out as soon as possible, it will most likely be an important filler chapter.


	12. Skipping Rocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kind of all over the place, but that's because its a filler. I absolutely loved writing the first part of this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it's so unbelievable that this story is at 1k+ reads now, I'm so grateful because I genuinely thought no would be interested in this story. Anyways, the classes I'm taking this semester are much easier so I should have more time to update more frequently.

Jarum wasn’t accustomed to positive emotions, they were such a foregin subject to her that she could hardly recognize them within herself. The most recurring emotion that she often felt in her shit life was anger. The feeling constantly ran through her veins and put such self hating, rage filled thoughts in her mind. Most of the time it was an epic struggle to keep her anger at bay. That being said, Jarum had rarely ever felt positive emotions. But, she had felt so many on that night on the Astronomy Tower with Hermione Granger. They had swirled around her brain like a calm, gentle storm. 

No one had ever really found her interesting before, no one ever really cared about her interests beyond quidditch. But Hermione found her interesting. Hermione asked about her other interests. And Hermione wanted to understand her, she’d never really had someone like that before and it felt...nice. 

Plus it was hard to ignore the tugging feeling that she got in her chest when Hermione held her pinky, or when she leaned her head on her shoulder. 

She shivered lightly against the cool breeze. Over the past few weeks she and Hermione had fallen into a simple routine that included taking walks around the more secluded parts of campus. They were currently walking along the rocky shores of the Great Lake. 

Hermione turned to Jarum, “You can wear my scarf if you’re cold, though it wouldn’t kill you to dress in layers.” 

Jarum was dressed in her quidditch practice gear, today was her first practice back after being severely injured by the stray bludger. She would’ve been back way sooner, but Jaia had threatened Marcus in a letter, stating that she would ‘personally castrate him’ if he let her back onto the pitch before she was completely healed. 

“Red and gold is an ugly color combination, so I’ll pass.” 

Hermione rolled her eyes, “It is not. It’s better than green and silver.” 

“Now you’re just lying Granger.” 

Jarum started to walk away from Hermione, away from the larger rocks that lined the lake and closer to the smaller ones. As she was walking, she hoped Hermione would follow her. A light smile crossed her face when she heard the other girl huff and stomp behind her. 

Jarum liked the banter that came with being Hermione’s friend. The banter with Hermione made her happy. 

Hermione made her happy, unsurprisingly. 

Jarum picked up a small, smooth pebble by the lake and turned to Hermione. She gently grabbed her hand, ignoring the sparks she felt, and she slid the rock in the palm of Hermione’s hand.

Perhaps it was some invisible force that had drawn the two of them closer to one another, or maybe it was just Jarum subconsciously wanting to be near Hermione, but when her eyes flicked from Hermione’s hand to her face, she could see every beautiful detail. Jarum felt her breath hitch, slightly and her heart was beating rapidly. 

She regained her composure before asking softly, “Do you know how to skip rocks Granger?” 

Hermione's eyes were deeply staring into her when she answered, with a slight smile on her face, “Of course I know how to skip rocks.” 

Jarum was still entranced by the comforting brown eyes clouding her vision. For a fleeting moment, Jarum wished that those eyes would forever be tattooed into her vision, so that every time she opened her eyes those warm brown eyes would be the only thing she saw. 

Jarum countered in a challenging tone, “So then do it.”

Hermione mumbled, “Fine”. Before walking away from Jarum and towards the edge of the lake. Jarum watched as Hermione forcefully threw the rock into the lake, not even coming close to skipping it. 

Jarum let a snort of laughter escape her lips, and an amused smile crossed her features. A smile that showed her dimples and reached her eyes. A smile that only really existed when she was around Hermione Granger. 

Hermione whipped around, cheeks flushed crimson from embarrassment. She stomped over to Jarum and crossed her arms in front of her chest, “That’s not funny. And I highly doubt you could do any better.” 

Jarum smirked and picked up another pebble, “Watch this Granger.” 

She walked over the lake, tossing the pebble up and down a few times in her hand. She then gently threw the rock, flicking her wrist as she did so. The rock skipped four times above the water before dropping into the lake. 

Jarum walked back over to Hermione with a smug smile on her face. The other girl was clapping sarcastically as she said, “Quite impressive honestly.” 

“You’re just mad you can’t do it.” 

Hermione sputtered out, “Of course I can do it, it’s just simple physics. I–“

Jarum cut her off, “Oh for Merlin’s sake Hermione. You can’t apply all that smart math kind of shit when it comes to simple things. You make simple things difficult by over complicating them. Now come here.” 

Hermione huffed before walking over to Jarum. Once she was standing across from her, Jarum bent down to pick up another rock. Once she found the rock, she pulled Hermione flush against her, soaking up the warmth the other girl was emitting. Jarum missed the way Hermione gasped softly. 

Jarum would be lying if she didn’t say that she wasn’t using this as this as an excuse to get closer to Hermione. 

Jarum then turned Hermione around, so the other’s back was against her chest. She only hoped that the other girl wouldn’t feel the heavy thudding of her heart through her chest. 

Hermione managed to speak first, slightly strained, “Is there a specific reason for you manhandling me?” 

Jarum smiled as she slid the rock into Hermione’s hand, “I’m going to teach you how to skip rocks, I thought you liked learning new things Granger.” 

Hermione half turned to face her and Jarum’s eyes found themselves wondering down to Hermione’s pink lips. She briefly wondered what it would be like to kiss her. How would her lips feel? Were they soft? Whatever the answer was, Jarum was sure that it would be infinitely better than kissing Draco, she must’ve brushed her teeth at least fifteen times after that unfortunate occurrence. 

Jarum cleared her throat, trying to focus on teaching Hermione on how to skip rocks. She gently gripped the wrist of the hand that held the rock. She briefly remembered how earlier that year she had gripped Hermione’s wrist so hard that it had left bruises. She had regretted that more than anything, she felt so disgusted with herself. 

“It’s all in the wrist Granger,” she said while beginning to move Hermione’s wrist in the correct motion. Hermione was so warm and she smelled like old books and fresh parchment. Jarum now decided that old books and fresh parchment was her new favorite scent. 

Jarum could’ve sworn that Hermione leaned back into her as she said, “And how exactly are you sure it will work.” 

“It works every time, like a formula kind of, just do it and you’ll see,” Jarum said while running her thumb on the inside of Hermione’s wrist.

She heard the other girl breathe heavily, “Can you guide my hand then, to make sure that it works?”

Jarum smirked to herself before answering, “Now when I move my hand forward, release the rock and flick your wrist.” 

Hermione nodded and Jarum brought their hands back, before pushing them forward, making sure Hermione flicked her wrist as she released the rock. They both watched as the rock skipped incredibly far across the lake before dropping into the water. 

Hermione turned around in her arms and Jarum smiled at her, “I told you it would work.”

Hermione grinned back, “Yea you did,” she said before they fell silent, staring at each other. 

Maybe if Jarum had everything figured out, she would’ve closed the gap between their lips. Maybe if one of her main traits were bravery, she would’ve kissed Hermione so hard that their teeth would smash together briefly. But alas, Jarum considered herself to be a coward, which is why she backed up slightly before taking a look at the leather watch on her wrist, realizing she had four minutes to get to the quidditch pitch, which was on the other side of campus. 

“Shit Granger I got to get to practice. I’ll see you later though yea?” 

Hermione nodded at her, though she seemed disappointed, “Yea.” 

Jarum smiled at her again before she started to run towards the pitch. Marcus would scream at her for at least five minutes if she were late on her first day back. She couldn’t really blame him though, their next match was against their main rivals, Gryffindor, plus they were in the championship for the first time in a long time. 

Jarum stopped by the locker room, grabbing her broom and beater's bat before rushing out onto the field, not even bothering to put her gloves on or tape her hands. She made it onto the field with about fifteen seconds to spare. 

She took her place next to Draco in the team circle and as Marcus began to talk about strategy, Draco leaned over, “Where were you,” he whispered to her. 

“Studying. My mother would kill me if I did terribly on exams,” she said, the lie rolling easily from her lips. 

Draco nodded and they both focused their attention back on Marcus, who was still rambling about strategy. 

Marcus’s eyes locked onto her and he smiled, “And last but not least, everyone welcome back our star beater, Jarum Crange.” 

Cassius clapped her on the shoulder and she grunted softly at the force he used, “It’s good to have my best teammate back in action.” 

Jarum gave him a half smile while she adjusted her grip on her bat, she would no doubt have calluses after this practice. Hermione was still weighing heavily on her mind. The other girl was just so indescribable, Jarum didn’t even know what she was feeling towards her. 

While the rest of the team mounted their brooms and began to fly up in the air, Marcus pulled her aside. 

“Are you sure you’re good to play, Jaia will kill me if you’re not,” he asked. 

“Don’t use my sister as an excuse, just say you care about me,” Jarum joked lightly. 

“I’m serious Jarum, we need you for the Gryffindor game. Merlin knows these stupid fucks would fall apart if you’re not on the pitch.” 

“Yes Marcus I’m fine.” 

“Good now get your ass up there.” 

Jarum rolled her eyes as she mounted her broom and she gripped her bat tightly. She hoped she would easily get back into the swing of things, she couldn’t afford any missteps right now. 

Throughout the first few drills of practice, Jarum had fallen behind slightly. She felt frustration wind it’s way around her body as cold sweat dripped down the side of her face. 

Draco flew over to her and nudged her, “You doing okay?” 

“What do you think,” she bit out harshly.

“Look stop being so fucking dramatic and just fucking play, you’re thinking too much and that’s why you’re playing like fuckin shit.” 

Despite the harshness of his words, Jarum figured he was right. In order to play her best, she had to get Hermione Granger out of her mind. 

She shook her head and forced herself to think about quidditch and quidditch only. It was surprisingly easy, because when her thoughts weren’t focused on Hermione, they were focused on quidditch. 

For the rest of practice Jarum felt like her old self on the quidditch pitch. She felt free as soared effortlessly through the air, beating every bludger that came her way. 

After practice, Draco slung his arm around her neck and stated cockily, “See what happens when you listen to me.” 

Jarum rolled her eyes at his antics, “You’re such an ass, I was going to do good regardless.” 

“Yea yea sure,” he paused, “Do you have any plans for the Easter holiday coming up?” 

Jarum froze, she hadn’t even remembered that Hogwarts allowed its students a one week holiday during Easter. As far she knew, her mother wouldn’t be inviting any guests over. Meaning that it would just be her, Jaia, and her mother. That’s like throwing a match into a a fucking tinderbox, things were bound to explode. 

Jarum swallowed, “Uhh, no I don’t have any plans why?” 

Draco looked disappointed, “That’s a shame, I was hoping you would be invited to my manor. Break is going to be so terribly boring without you.” 

Jarum managed a tight lipped smile, “Yup so boring.” 

She knew as well as anything that her break would be anything but boring. 

***

Hermione Granger fancied Jarum Crange. There was no other explanation for the butterflies that would fly around in her stomach whenever Jarum looked at her or even touched her. Or the way it felt like her heart would physically stop when she got a glimpse of Jarum’s dimples. 

Hermione was still at the lake, long after Jarum had left to go to quidditch practice. She was skipping rocks, the way Jarum taught her, by flicking her wrist. As she mindlessly skipped the rocks, she tried to remember how Jarum’s body felt against hers earlier that day. The other girl was freezing cold, as always, but Hermione was content with sharing her body heat with her. 

Hermione closed her eyes, as she remembered the way her heart skipped a beat, the way her breath caught in her throat, the way her brain seemed to short circuit when Jarum pulled her against her body. 

For the first time in a while, Hermione had felt completely safe with Jarum’s arms around her, it’s as if she were some sort of human sanctuary. 

It was ironic really, considering Jarum was most likely on the unfortunate path of becoming a death eater, a group who hates muggle borns. And yet Hermione, a muggle born, felt so incredibly safe for the brief moments that she was in her arms. 

She smiled to herself as she continued to skip the rocks. She turned around as she heard the sound of footsteps against the shore of the lake. Harry was approaching her, almost cautiously. 

“Hey Harry,” she greeted once he was in earshot. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, concern washing over his features. 

Hermione was genuinely confused, she furrowed her eyebrows, “Of course I'm okay, why wouldn’t I be?” 

“I’ve been seeing you on the map a lot recently, with Crange and I’m worried that she might be blackmailing you or something.” 

Hermione’s heart dropped, realizing she had been caught. There’s no way she could lie her way out of this one, she was a terrible liar as it is.

“She’s not blackmailing me Harry,” she began, “Jarum and I are…well we’re friends. And we hang out sometimes…as friends.” 

Harry nodded, a sigh of teu emitting from his lips, “So she’s not that bad then?” he asked. 

“Yea she’s nice...when she wants to be.”

“Brilliant.” 

A comfortable silence ensued between them, and Hermione took a deep breath, almost too deep of a breath, before exhaling heavily. When Harry looked at her curiously she spoke again, “I think I’ve gone mad Harry.”

He quirked an eyebrow at her, “Well why do you say that?”

She nervously bit her lip before she spoke quietly, “I think I might fancy her, Jarum.”

When Harry didn’t say anything, she began nervously rambling, “A-and I don’t even know why because she can be such a complete ass, but there’s so much more to her than that and-”

Harry cut her off by grabbing both of her hands, “Hermione,” he laughed softly, “It’s okay, you can’t control who it is that you fancy”

Hermione nodded, tears threatening to prick the back of her eyes, “Thank you.”

He shrugged, “It’s no problem really, though I still expect you to cheer for Gryffindor when we go against them in the Quidditch championship ”

Hermione let out a choked laugh, “There’s no way I would ever be caught dead cheering for Slytherin.”

Though she knew deep down, she’d be cheering for one particular Slytherin. 

***

Jarum hated her family’s manor, even though she knew most people at her school would kill to live in a house as big as she did. It’s like her house was demented and had some sick, twisted mind of it’s own. Whenever she was there, her insecurities began to seep into her brain again, as if the house poisoned her mind and made her think of the darkest things that were buried deep within the corners of her brain. It’s why she spent most of her break wallowing in her insecurities that were ingrained so deeply within her brain. 

She picked at her scar as she stared into her vanity mirror, Merlin she hated herself. She hated how she looked, how she talked, how she was never good enough.

Why was she never enough. 

She wasn’t smart enough.

Not pretty enough. 

Just not enough. 

For once Jaurm just wanted to look within herself and be satisfied with what she was, and she realized she never would be. 

She looked away from the mirror as she heard a soft knock at her door. She swallowed the heavy lump that was building in her throat and answered, “It’s unlocked.” 

Jaia walked in her room, looking as perfect as ever. Her makeup was perfect, her hair was perfect, everything about her was perfect. 

It wasn’t fair. 

Jarum wanted to hate her sister, she wanted to hate her so bad, but she couldn’t. Jaia had been there for her recently, and even if she wasn't, Jarum couldn’t hate her sister if she tried. 

“Mother told me to come fetch you for Easter dinner,” Jaia said simply. 

Jarum got up from her vanity, feeling her legs prickle slightly due to the fact she had been sitting for so long. The two sisters made their way down an enormous spiral staircase and to the dining area of the house, where their mother was already seated, looking pretentious as ever. 

Just before they reached the dining table, Jaia discreetly handed Jarum a medium sized flask of what she assumed was alcohol. When Jarum looked at her confused, Jaia leaned over and said softly in her ear, “Trust me you’re going to need it.” 

When she pulled away, Jarum realized that Jaia was also holding a flask of her own, albeit hers was much bigger. They walked over to the table and sat down, taking their normal seats on the sides of their mother. 

Jilda Crange sat at the head of the table, while Jaia sat on her right and Jarum sat on her left. When she was younger, Jarum never really questioned why Jaia always sat on the right of her mother, but now she was curious. Did it signify some kind of importance?

Jarum didn’t even realize that her food had been placed in front of her, until she heard her mother clear her throat and look at her expectantly, no doubt trying to see if she still retained her table manners. Jarum hesitantly picked up her knife and fork and began to cut into the steak that was in front of her, making sure to keep her elbows off the table. 

When her mother’s attention was off of her, she took the empty silver goblet in front of her and discreetly poured the liquid from the flask into the cup. 

Unsurprisingly, her mother was the first to break the tension that clouded the room, “Jarum, I heard you had an unfortunate quidditch accident a few weeks ago, it’s a shame really. Maybe you aren’t as good as you thought you were.”

Jarum forced herself to remain impassive, though she felt the feeling of never being good enough make its way into the crevices of her brain again. Jarum took a drink from her cup, enjoying the way the liquid burned down her throat and into her chest, then she spoke, “It was a simple mistake, I wasn’t paying attention.”

Her mother smiled at her cruelly, it reminded her briefly of Jaia’s smile, “If you’re a true Crange, you never make a mistake.” 

Jarum tensed her jaw, but she decided not to reply. Her mother then turned her attention to Jaia, who was eating in peace. 

“Jaia, darling, maybe you should slow down some.”

Jarum watched as Jaia swallowed heavily, over the years she’d heard her mother make small comments like that to Jaia, but she’d never really paid attention to it. 

Out of spite, Jaia took another large bite of her food and swallowed before countering, “I think my pacing is just fine, thank you.”

Jarum took another drink from her cup, if there was one person on the planet who could keep up with their mother in a verbal fight, it was Jaia. 

“Those cigarettes aren’t making you lose weight are they?” Jilda asked, venom dripping in her tone. 

Jaia fake smiled, “Why of course not mother, it’s actually all of the sex I’ve been having recently.”

Jarum choked on her food at Jaia’s words, when her mother glared at her, she forced herself to wear a blank expression. But on the inside she was howling with laughter. 

“You know Jaia, having sex out of wedlock makes you a whore.”

“Oh really,” Jaia questioned sarcastically, “I guess that makes two of us then.”

Jilda stabbed a knife into the table out of anger and Jarum couldn't help but involuntarily flinch it at the action. It was a basic instinct. If anyone else would have slammed a knife into a table Jarum wouldn't have even blinked. But her mother was a whole different story. She had been programmed from the moment she could form a coherent thought to fear her mother, always. 

“Jaia Jilda Crange, I will not allow you to speak to me that way, not in my own house,” Jilda said, eerily calm. Their mother had a calm, scary type of anger, like Jaia. While their father, when he was alive, had the more explosive uncontrollable type of anger, like Jarum. 

“Don’t expect an apology, mother. Because you aren’t getting one,” Jaia spat back in the same eerily calm tone. 

At this point Jarum had become a spectator, watching two heavyweights trade deadly blows. 

“I am your mother, and I am your family and you will respect me!”

Jaia emulated their mother’s cruel smile. It looked as if she were a predator who had just lured some defenseless animal into a trap, “It’s funny you mention being respectful to our family, you know considering what you did.”

Jarum’s eyes widened at what Jaia was insinuating, her mother had paid the best lawyers to cover up her father’s death. It hadn’t been talked about in years, because Jilda made Jarum and Jaia swore that they would take that secret to the grave. 

If anyone else would’ve brought up this sensitive subject, there was no doubt that her mother would’ve hexed them into next week. But Jarum knew she wouldn't hurt Jaia, her most prized creation, and Jaia knew that too, which is why she continued speaking. 

“Oh, I bet it just eats at your soul, doesn’t it. You preach about family loyalty and respect yet you killed–”

“Finish that sentence darling, go right ahead,” there was something about her mother’s tone that made her blood run cold. She’d never heard that kind of tone come from her mother’s mouth and it was cold enough and evil enough to give her nightmares. It felt as if the walls were closing in on her and suddenly she felt as if she were sitting too close to her mother and she felt the incessant need to get away. 

Jarum’s gaze flicked to her older sister, who looked unnerved, which was even more scary because Jaia wasn’t easily disturbed. Their mother smiled fakely and continued, “Now, your father’s unfortunate demise is something that should not be spread around the dinner table, like it is common conversation. Whatever happens in this family stays in this family, unless you two girls miss your daddy that much and would like to go join him, but I highly doubt that. I hope I have made myself very clear.” 

Jarum felt unshed tears prick her eyes and she choked softly out, “Crystal clear mother.”

Her mother looked at Jaia, who just simply nodded. Jilda smiled once more, “Glad we could reach an understanding girls.”

The rest of dinner passed by in an uncomfortable silence, Jarum was trying to process the fact that her mother had literally threatened to kill her and Jaia, though she highly doubted that she would kill Jaia. 

Jarum just had this feeling, this creeping feeling, that this family would tear itself apart from the inside out, and that feeling put a smile on her face. 

***

It was around midnight and Jarum had spent hours tossing and turning in bed when she decided to leave her room and spend some time out on one of the spacious balconies. 

When she stepped out into the mildly cold night, she was reminded of all the nights she and Hermione had spent on the Astronomy Tower. 

Before she could fully reminisce, a pungent smell invaded her senses, and she looked to her left to see Jaia, with a white cylindrical object between her fingers, but it wasn’t a cigarette. 

“Quite the show you put on at dinner,” Jarum said as she walked over to Jaia and took a seat on one of the chairs by the small table. 

Jaia smiled bitterly, “It’s just impossible to win against her isn't it.” 

“I suppose so. What’s that,” Jarum gestured to the object in her hand. 

“Marijuana,” Jaia said as she handed her the joint, “A plant based drug. It’s relaxing, cigarettes are better, but this is a nice substitute I suppose.” 

Jarum put the joint to her lips and inhaled its contents deeply. The smoke that entered her lungs was smoother, it wasn’t like the few cigarettes she had smoked. When she exhaled it, she felt so much more relaxed, and the drug gave her an almost giddy feeling. “That’s so much better than cigarettes,” she said before taking another hit. 

Jaia rolled her eyes and snatched the joint back, “Back to what I was saying, it’s so difficult to please her. We can’t afford to make any type of mistakes and if we do make a mistake, we fail. And the prospect of failing is so fucking terrifying.” 

Jarum nodded, “We’ve never been allowed to fail in our lives. That’s why we’re so afraid of it. Atychiphobia, the fear of failure, we both have it because of her.” 

Jaia raised an eyebrow at her, “Where’d you learn that word.” 

“Really? I just made an unusually smart observation, and that’s what you focus on?” Jarum scoffed, while Jaia passed the joint back to her. 

“I mean you don’t necessarily look up words like that in your free time, so I’m interested to know how and where you learned it,” Jaia inquired, her dark brown eyes shooting lasers into Jarum. 

“I’m not telling you,” Jarum said while turning away from Jaia. 

“No fucking way,” Jaia laughed out loud in realization, “That Granger girl taught you it didn’t she.” 

Jarum turned to her confused, “How do you know Hermione?” 

“We’ve met, she’s very lovely. Oh yes she told me all about how she would tutor you in transfiguration,” Jaia teased. 

Jarum felt her cheeks heat up from embarrassment, Jaia would never let this go now. Plus, she can’t belive Hermione actually got away with lying to her sister, she was like a fucking human lie detector. 

“Shut up Jaia,” she muttered. 

“Is the girl you think about,” she asked with an amused smile on her face. 

“No,” Jarum lied, still embarrassed. 

“Yes she is,” Jaia said while bursting out into laughter, “For Merlin’s sake, you’re such a shit liar.” 

“Just stop talking about it, I still haven’t figured everything out yet. It's just hard sometimes okay?” 

Jaia’s expression softened, “Do you think talking about her would help you figure things out?” 

Jarum nodded, “Maybe yea.” 

“Okay so tell me about her.” 

“Okay well her mind is so mesmerizing, the way she thinks is so beautiful and she’s so incredibly smart that I could listen to her talk about anything for hours, even though I hate listening to people talk for long periods of time. And she’s got this pretty brown hair, that looks as if it has golden streaks in it when the sun hits it at a certain angle and it frames her face perfectly. Her smile is so kind and comforting and her laugh is the most melodic sound I've ever heard. But my favorite thing about her is her eyes,” Jarum began to smile to herself as she talked about Hermione, “Her eyes are so beautiful and they hold so much depth. And it feels like everytime she looks at me it’s like she’s staring into my soul, at first it made me uncomfortable, but now I don’t mind the feeling. And I like when she stares at me, it makes me feel…nice.” 

When she finished Jaia was looking at her with a smug expression on her face, “Well, Jarum. I think shit might be easier to figure out now that you’ve gotten all that out.” 

Jaia got up from her seat and moved to the door, before she went inside, she handed Jarum the rest of the joint and she accepted it. 

Once Jaia was all the way inside, Jarum leaned back into her chair, trying not to let the insecurities that being at her dreaded house caused get to her. With shaky hands, she brought the marijuana up to her lips and inhaled and exhaled, it was as simple as breathing, but the reward was so much more fulfilling. 

She thought of everything as she tried to keep the poisonous insecurities at bay; her mother, her sister, hell she even thought about school–and she hated school. 

The only thought that succeeded in making her feel any better was Hermione Granger. 

There wasn’t enough room in her brain for the drug and Hermione. And unsurprisingly, the thoughts about Hermione won out. 

Jarum ashed the joint on the table, and looked up at the moon, which was giving off a soft blue light. Jarum smiled to herself at the thought that she and Hermione Granger were under the same moon. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading, the next chapter will be up soon.


	13. Quidditch Championship (Year 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quidditch Championship and the aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a quick note about characters is that all them are going to be flawed in one way or another, there is no such thing as perfect character and I'm trying to write them as realistic as possible, because they're all teenagers who are still growing. With that being said, I hope all of you enjoy this chapter, it was one of my favorites to write.

It was no secret that Jaia Crange  _ loved  _ cigarettes, she loved them more than she liked most people. Every single time she inhaled the toxic smoke into her lungs she felt almost euphoric. Very few things gave her happiness – cigarettes were one of those things. She wasn’t addicted though, Jaia didn’t allow herself to become addicted to anything. 

So as she did her daily routine, which was to smoke several cigarettes and purposely leave ashes around the manor for the house elves to clean up, she felt a sense of peace and relaxation. That is, until her mother snatched the cigarette right before she was about to put it between her lips again. 

Jaia glared at her mother, who was glaring right back at her. Her mother’s eyes were such a deep dark brown that they looked almost black. 

“I was clearly busy,” Jaia said while making direct eye contact with her. Her mother absolutely  _ despised  _ when people were bold enough to actually look her in the eye. 

“I think it’s appropriate to discuss your appalling recent behavior.” 

Jaia rolled her eyes and attempted to walk past her mother, “I respectfully disagree.” 

She felt a cold, death grip on her left bicep that prevented her from moving any further. The only time she ever felt threatened by her mother was when she felt that freezing almost inhuman clutch on her skin.

“You have been acting out recently, and I let you get away with it for sometime, but I will not stand for this insolence any longer.” 

Jarum swallowed heavily, though she felt her throat close up ever so slightly as fear pricked at the base of her skull. She didn’t know much about her mother, except for the fact that she was one of the most ruthless death eaters during the first Wizarding War and that she came from a dark, powerful Haitian bloodline. If Jaia was as smart as she claimed to be, she would’ve been afraid of her. But she knew she wouldn’t hurt her, at least not physically. 

She found herself replying, “Or what? If you wanted to hurt me, you would’ve done it by now.” 

Her mother let out a gently cruel laugh, “Oh Jaia, you truly are so smart. Of course I wouldn’t hurt you. After all you are my greatest creation.” Her mother’s hand slid up from her arm to gently stroke her face with the back of her hand before roughly seizing both sides of her cheeks, “But Jarum however, she is nothing. And every mistake you make will be her fault, because you could never make a mistake, because you are  _ perfect  _ Jaia.” 

Jaia had somehow learned to despise that word over the past few months. It was odd, considering about six months ago she would have murdered someone, anyone in cold blood just to be considered perfect. But recently she’s had plenty of time to truly look at herself as a person. And she saw someone who was hollowed out, devoured by the impossible idea of perfectionism. Jaia didn’t want to be hollow anymore. 

Plus the idea of Jarum once again getting hurt by something she did was haunting enough. 

Her mother continued in a sickly sweet tone, her death grip was still locked onto her face, “Don’t you want to be perfect Jaia?”

If she was fifteen and still naïve she would have practically jumped at the opportunity to please her mother and fallen straight into her trap. But she wasn’t fifteen anymore, and she certainly wasn’t fucking stupid. 

Her mother truly did have the biggest ego, doesn’t she know that it’s nearly impossible to manipulate a true manipulator? 

She also remembered her vow that she had silently made to herself that she would protect Jarum by any means necessary. 

So Jaia smiled as ‘perfectly’ as she could and replied, “Why of course mother, I apologize sincerely for my insolence, it won’t happen again. I am your loyal daughter,  _ forever and always _ .” 

Jilda’s eyes danced with satisfaction as she took in her daughter's words. However the next thing that came out of her mouth was enough to make Jaia’s heart nearly freeze itself in fear, “There's a reason I gave you my name, because you were molded in my image, you remind me so much of myself, and best of all you are  _ exactly  _ like me.” 

There was time during one of her Defense Against the Dark Arts exams when she had to face her boggart. Her greatest fear wasn’t a person, or an animal, or even a fucking clown, like a normal person. When the boggart had shaped itself into her worst fear, it turned into a simple floor length mirror. Jaia had wanted to laugh, because her fear wasn’t a fucking mirror. However, when she looked into that mirror, the only thing she saw in her reflection was her mother looking right back at her. Even the thought of that memory makes unpleasant shivers crawl up her spine. 

“That’s all I ever wanted to hear mother,” Jaia lied, her falsely sweet tone sounding like honey as she spoke. 

“Good,” Jilda replied in a similar tone, “Now clean yourself up and make yourself look flawless, I don’t want to see a single hair out of place. We have a dreadful quidditch match to attend. The Daily Prophet is supposed to be present and we need to keep up with appearances.” 

Jaia nodded and turned to make her way up the stairs, but her mother’s voice halted her once again, “You know I've always had an appreciation for symmetry and Jarum’s face is unsymmetrical, one side is not like the other, if you know what I mean.” 

Unfortunately Jaia knew exactly what she meant, exactly what she was threatening. Which is why she gripped the banister so hard that her knuckles turned white and without turning around, she made her way back up the stairs and disappeared into her room. 

Jaia had encountered many monsters in her lifetime. Werewolves, dementors, herself, she’d even seen a fucking dragon once. But the cruelest, scariest monster she’d ever known, was the one who she called mother. 

***

Jarum wanted to forget his face, she’d tried so hard to erase it from her memory, but it was impossible. The face of Bradford Crange, the very man who had flawed her for the rest of her life, was forever stuck within the constraints of her mind.

She looked at the worn photograph of him that Marcus had given her at breakfast, his reasoning being that it might ‘bring her luck for the championship game.’ Hell, if only he knew. 

The picture was eerily familiar in the sense that Jarum could tell she had genetically inherited his mannerisms. Her father’s fist in the photograph was stretched above his head in an arrogant manner, with a beater’s bat clutched in the outstretched fist. He was surrounded by Slytherin students, and it reminded Jarum of her first quidditch victory how she too had also been surrounded by the crowd. 

But the most familiar part of the picture wasn’t about his mannerisms, it was the dimpled smile that was stretched across his face. Jarum hardly ever knew what her smile looked like, but she knew she had dimples. Jarum had never seen her father smile like this, it was always the maniacal smile that haunted her dreams from time to time. 

Another reason why Jarum could never forget her father’s face, she looked so much like him, and she  _ hated  _ it. Another thing to add to the ever growing list of why she hated herself. 

Fuck she did not need this shit right now. 

Her sigh echoed against the empty walls of the locker room as she folded up the old photograph and tucked it into the pocket of her quidditch uniform robe. Trying to steel her nerves as she paced around in the girls locker room, grateful that she was the only one in there. The good thing was that the anxious tingling in her stomach had subsided. The bad thing was that she’d thrown up from nervousness not even thirty minutes ago. 

She snatched the white cloth from within her locker and began manually wrapping her hands to distract herself from the bubbling anxiety. She was just about to finish with her left hand when Draco entered the locker room, it was obvious that Marcus had sent him to bring her to the boys locker room, where he would no doubt deliver a pregame speech. 

She grabbed her leather gloves, her bat, and her new broom, which Jaia had bought for her, and walked over to where Draco was standing. 

“You okay?” he asked, though he looked just as nervous as her. 

Jarum gave him a tight lipped smile, “Oh yea just peachy Draco.” 

“You remember the strategy right? I know there’s not a lot of room in your brain,” he insulted, Jarum was used to it by now, it was a nervous habit of his. 

Marcus had come up with the brilliant idea that the beaters, her and Cassius, should torment the living shit out of the chasers in order to prevent them from scoring. If the strategy went as planned, Slytherin would win, whether they caught the snitch or not. 

“Don’t act all high and mighty Malfoy. Marcus only created the strategy because he knows you won’t be able to catch the snitch against Potter.”

At the mention of Potter’s name, Draco’s expression changed slightly and Jarum noticed. She had a theory that maybe Draco fancied him, but she didn’t want to push that on her best friend. He was just starting to become more comfortable in his sexuality. 

Draco scoffed as he slung an arm across her shoulders, “I’m glad he came up with it actually, takes some of the pressure off of me and it makes you do all the work.” 

Jarum half smiled as they began to walk out of the girl’s locker room and towards the boy’s locker room, “Dont I do most of the work already?” 

Draco let out a hearty laugh as they reached the other locker room, where the rest of the team was gathered. Jarum took note that they were formed in a semi circle around Marcus, who was atop of one of the benches. 

Once he noticed that Jarum and Draco were there, he began to speak almost nervously, which was extremely out of character for him, “I uh, I had this whole speech prepared for you guys. I-I even sat in front of the mirror in my dorm and rehearsed it to perfection like s-some kind of nerd.” He chuckled tensely and humorlessly before continuing, “I know I've been pretty rough on you lot this whole season and I may have been a complete and utter ass at times, but I really do care about all of you. And I, fuck, I just want to bloody win for once at this damn school. I want to see the look on Wood’s face when he realizes that he lost, for once. I was to decimate the Gryffindor house’s quidditch hopes and dreams. And last but not least, I want to leave this campus, knowing that the Quidditch Cup has finally made its way back to where it belongs, the Slytherin trophy case.” 

Theodore Nott was the first one who clapped, followed by Jarum, then Cassius, then Draco, then Blaise, and finally Adrian. Soon enough all of them were cheering and whooping at the final delivery of Marcus’s speech. 

When he stepped down, Adrian walked over to him and clapped him on his shoulder, “Mate I think that was better than any speech you could’ve prepared.” 

Marcus smirked arrogantly, “Let’s go kick some Gryffindor ass.” 

The team cheered one last time before grabbing their stuff and walking out onto the pitch. Jarum looked up the stands, which had been bewitched in order to make more space for the extra spectators. The breath almost left her lungs for a fleeting moment. She’d never played in front of this big of a crowd before. 

As she mounted her broom and ascended up into the air, the sound of cheers became deafening almost, the Slytherin student section, and everyone else who had come to support the team, was cheering hysterically. She located Daphne and Pansy in the stands, the number twelve was painted on the blonde girl’s left cheek, that was her number. She also noticed how Draco’s number was painted in green on Pansy’s cheek. Jarum half smiled at them, she really did appreciate her friend's gesture. 

But they weren’t who she was looking for, her eyes scanned the crowd once again before landing on Jaia and her mother. Jaia was sitting a few feet apart from their mother, her arms crossed. Even though her body language was poor, Jarum could tell she wanted to be there. Jaia  _ wanted  _ to support her…and Marcus. She looked at her mother, who just simply looked at her, somehow that made her even more nervous. Jarum would be damned if she didn’t make her mother proud, which gave her even more determination to win the game. 

But still, they weren’t who she was looking for. She allowed her eyes to make their way over to the Gryffindor stands, where she finally found who she was looking for. Hermione Granger. It seemed as if the other girl was waiting for Jarum to look at her, because the second she spotted her in the crowd their eyes locked. Jarum realized that she could play a million quidditch games, with a million people frantically screaming her name, but that feeling wouldn’t even come close to replicating what she felt when she looked into Hermione’s eyes. 

Fuck, coming to terms with her sexuality was literally the last thing she needed right now, she couldnt afford any types of distraction. She was about the play in the most important quidditch game of her life and the only thing she worried about was Hermione fucking Granger. 

She forced herself to look away and flew over to Cassius who was readjusting his gloves. Jarum looked up at the cloudless cerulean blue sky and hoped that life wouldn’t fuck her over for once. 

Jarum’s heart beat irregularly in her chest as she watched the quaffle, bludger, and snitch be released into the sky and the long awaited rivalry match had finally begun. 

She watched as one of the chasers for the opposite team snatch the quaffle out of the air. As if a switch had been flipped, Jarum sprang into action, her only thoughts being focused on winning the damn game, by any and all means necessary. 

***

Jarum was so consumed with the game, that she was hardly able to tell that any time had passed, she didn’t even know the fucking score, that’s how focused she was. The only way Jarum was able to tell that they were deep into the match, was because of the sore pain in her right arm. She had been playing so aggressively and swinging her bat so often, that her arm felt as if it were about to fall right off. She wondered briefly if it had been pulled out of its socket, before deciding that an injury didn’t matter, she  _ needed  _ to keep playing. Sweat dripped down from her forehead and nearly into her eye. She paused, only for a moment, to wipe the sweat off her face, before looking for the next bludger she could beat towards the Gryffindor chasers. 

She flew quickly through the air, the wind whipping across her body. Jarum swung her bat and hit the bludger towards one of the Weasley twins, who was currently aiming a bludger at Adrian, trying to prevent him from scoring. The bludger made contact with his arm, causing him to accidentally aim the bludger towards one of his own teammates. He cursed loudly as Adrian scored, putting the Slytherin team up by even more. 

Marcus had to have been some kind of quidditch genius because his strategy was being executed flawlessly. Jarum and Cassius had been practically abusing the Gryffindor chasers all game, they had barely even scored. Meanwhile the Slytherin chasers had been playing a perfect game, working like a well oiled machine. Jarum looked over at the announcer’s box to see that the score was 160-20, which still wasn’t enough to win if Potter caught the snitch. 

Jarum looked away from the scoreboard as Cassius called her name and pointed to Theo and a girl who she believed was named Angelina Johnson. They were currently fighting over the quaffle, if Slytherin were to score again, they might be able to secure a victory. She flew at Johnson at full speed and slammed her body into her, which caused Theo to gain control of the quaffle and pass it to Blaise, who scored against Wood almost effortlessly. 

She grunted lightly at the collision, that was definitely going to leave an ugly bruise on her side. 

She frowned as she realized that if Potter caught the snitch, it’d be a fucking tie, and they would have to share the Quidditch Cup. Jarum swallowed the saliva that had collected in her mouth, fucking hell she was dehydrated. 

She heard the noise of the anxious crowd grow louder and more excited and she looked around the pitch and spotted Draco and Potter nearly neck and neck, racing for the snitch. 

At the same time, Adrian had the quaffle tucked under his arm and was about to score, but one of the Weasley twins had hit a perfectly aimed bludger at him. 

Jarum had two choices. She could hit a bludger towards Draco and Potter, and hope it would hit Potter so Draco could catch the snitch. Or, she could hit the bludger away from Adrian so he could score and they would win no matter what. 

As she watched the bludger get closer to Adrian, she made her choice. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion, the noise to the crowd faded into the background, and her only focus was keeping the bludger away from him. Jarum breathed heavily through her nostrils as she exerted all her energy into flying faster. Once she was close enough, she stretched her sore right arm out as far as it would go, and swung her bat, putting the last of her conserved energy into hitting the bludger. The very tip of her bat made contact with the ball, which redirected it slightly. Jarum sighed in relief, the bludger wasn’t going to hit Adrian and she watched as he threw the quaffle into one of the hoops. 

Not even thirty seconds after he scored Potter caught the snitch, ending the game. The announcer sounded almost defeated when he addressed the crowd, “Ladies and gentleman that concludes the match, the final score being 180 to 170, with Slytherin being your Hogwarts quidditch champions.” 

The noise was absolutely ear splitting, Jarum couldn’t even hear herself think properly. She flew down to the ground where people were now rushing the pitch. 

Before she was even fully off her broom, Draco picked her up in a hug and spun her around excitedly. 

“Bloody hell Jarum I’m so happy I could kiss you,” he shouted happily. 

“Gross Draco, not again,” she said, teasing lightly, “You're going to make me vomit in front of all these people.” 

Draco laughed heartily and put her down, he walked away from her, presumably to go find his father. 

Jarum surveyed the crowd and it was absolute madness. People were jumping up and down excitedly, she could’ve sworn she saw Jaia jump into Marcus’s arms and kiss him thoroughly, definitely an image she wanted out of her brain. Before long, Jarum had been lifted up in the air by her legs by a gaggle of Slytherin students. As they chanted her last name, she put the fist that held her beater's bat in the air triumphantly. Unaware that she was currently the spitting image of her father. 

Jarum felt on top of the world as the crowd chanted her last name loudly. Soon the whole quidditch team had been lifted into the air by a large crowd, as if they were gods. She spotted Draco and grinned at him, and he grinned right back, not even bothered that Potter had caught the snitch and he hadn’t. 

Jarum still felt euphoric as the crowd that was carrying her gently placed her down on the ground, she spotted her mother and sister, the latter who was still passionately kissing Marcus. Jarum made her way over to them, hoping that she was satisfactory in her mother’s eyes. 

She stared into those deep brown, almost black eyes that always held an air of superiority to them and were always impossible to read. After a moment of holding her gaze, her mother barely nodded in acknowledgement, but it was enough to make Jarum’s heart soar with happiness. It wasn’t much, in fact it was practically nothing, but it was enough for Jarum. Her mother hadn’t torn her down or said anything negative, which had to mean she was proud, right?

Her mother’s gaze snapped to her older sister, “Jaia. Here. Now.”

Jaia reluctantly pulled away from Marcus and as if on cue a reporter that Jarum didn’t recognize held and camera up and asked her mother for a picture that was going to be put in the Daily Prophet. 

Her mother was on the left of her and Jaia was on the right. And that made Jarum front and center. Finally. She would forever chase this feeling, this high of being front and center. If playing quidditch was going to give her this indescribable feeling of being enough, then she’d play quidditch until she dropped dead. 

Jarum held her bat in her left hand and slung her right arm over Jaia’s shoulder who smiled at her and wrapped arm around her midsection. Her mother’s nails dug lightly into the back of her neck, as if controlling her almost. Jarum paid no mind to it. Because for the first time, they felt like a normal, loving family, or at least Jarum liked to pretend that they were in that moment. 

“Smile girls,” her mother instructed. 

Jarum gave a closed mouth smile and Jaia did the same as the photographer snapped the picture, the white flash causing Jarum to see black spots in her vision. 

After several more minutes of celebrating on the pitch, Jarum walked back to the girls locker room, eager to change out of her sweaty uniform. However when she got to the locker room, she was met with the breathtaking sight of Hermione Granger, leaning casually against the lockers. 

An involuntary smile stretched across Jarum’s features,there was no doubt that her dimples were on full display. Because her dimples only seemed to exist around Hermione. 

“Here to be a sore loser Granger,” she teased. 

Hermione smiled and walked over to her, until they were just inches apart, “Quite the opposite actually, you played really well today. I reckon you’ll be the talk of the school for quite a few weeks now.”

Jarum smirked, “I’ve been the talk of the school ever since I got here.” 

Hermione rolled her eyes playfully, “Don't get arrogant on me now Crange.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” 

Something in Hermione’s beautiful eyes softened and she looked up at Jarum, almost tenderly, “You played really well Jarum, I’m proud of you.” 

Jarum’s smirk morphed into a shy smile as butterflies erupted in her stomach. She rarely ever heard those words in her short life and it meant so much whenever she did hear it. 

It meant even more coming from Hermione’s mouth. 

“Well, I did alright today. I’m working on being humble,” Jarum deflected. 

Hermione laughed lightly, “Like you could ever be humble.”

A silence ensued between them, a silence louder than the absolute pandemonium that was still going on outside the locker room. Normally, when Jarum was faced with silence she searched her brain for anything that would fill the void of quietness. 

But as usual things were different when it came to Hermione. 

Jarum liked the silence that often ensued when she and Hermione were alone together. It was like a game almost. A game that involved them staring into each other’s eyes, a game in which Jarum would feel a different and unfamiliar eruption across her chest each time they played it. 

It was a game they’d played since they had met. 

And it was Jarum’s favorite game, quidditch be damned. 

Hermione ended the game by filling the silence, “Well I should get going,” she said while clasping her hands together, “I don’t want to hold you back from the celebrations that are bound to happen.” 

Disappointed, Jarum replied, “Oh, well I guess I’ll see you around then Granger.” 

Hermione smiled at her one last time before exiting the locker room, Jarum watching her leave, almost longingly. 

A few minutes passed before she knew that there was no point hiding in the dark shadow of denial. 

At that moment Jarum knew. 

Holy shit she was gay. 

She rushed out of the locker room, in only her sports bra and quidditch pants. She needed to find her. 

She ran through the halls, ignoring the incredulous look she was receiving from the other students due to her lack of clothing. 

Jarum turned a corner, nearly slipping and found her sister alone in an abandoned hallway, smoking a cigarette, as usual. 

She ran over to her sister while calling her name, “Jaia!”

Jaia turned around and her eyes widened in surprise at Jarum’s appearance. She gently breathed out smoke as Jarum stopped in front of her. 

Jaia cocked one eyebrow, “Is there any specific reason as to why you’re running around the campus with no shirt on.” 

Jarum swallowed heavily, ready to finally say those words out loud for the first time. Ready for the unliftable weight to be lifted off of her chest. 

“Remember when we had that talk. Before the Ravenclaw match, and you said that I’ll know when I know.” 

“Yea,” Jaia replied while stomping out her cigarette, sensing the seriousness in the conversation. 

Jarum took a deep breath and heavily exhaled, she could really use some marijuana right now, or even a fucking cigarette, anything to the fateful words lsip out of her mouth easier. She knew that the next words that came out of her mouth were going to dramatically change the course of her life. Jarum didn’t know if it’d be for better or for worse, life did have a nice little habit of repeatedly fucking her over. 

In a low voice, to where only Jaia could hear, she felt the barrier of denial being broken, “I know Jaia. I know that I’m gay.” 

Before any panic could set into her mind, Jaia pulled her into a tight hug, even though she was sweaty and shirtless and probably stunk. Jaia didn’t say anything for a really long time. She just held her. Tears pricked at the corners of Jarum’s eyes, she didn’t even remember the last time she’d been held properly. It felt so nice. 

Jaia finally pulled away and cupped Jarum’s face gently, “I know it was so hard for you to come to terms with yourself, and there is nothing wrong with you Jarum. You were born like that and that’s okay, don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. Ever.”

Jarum nodded and discreetly wiped away a singular tear that had streamed down her face while Jaia had been talking to her. 

“Thanks Jaia, you’ve been a really good sister lately.”

Jaia waved her hand dismissively, reaching inside her purse to dig out another cigarette, “I’m just doing the bare minimum, you know, supporting my sapphic younger sister and all.” A beat of silence passed between them as Jaia lit the cigarette and took a long drag. After exhaling the smoke, she spoke again, “So it was that Granger girl then?” she teased lightly, trying to diffuse the heavy tension and emotions that were clouding the air more than the smoke that Jaia was breathing out. 

Jarum felt her cheeks heat up from the mention of Hermione and she pushed Jaia’s shoulder lightly, “Shut up,” she muttered.

Jaia smirked at Jarum’s bashfulness, but she didn’t make any further comments about Hermione. And Jarum was thankful for that, there was so much going on in her head that she didn’t think the comments about Hermione would be helpful. At all. 

She rubbed her temples lightly, trying to relieve the built up tension in her mind. For Merlin’s sake she just played the best quidditch game of her life and she was stressing over every little thing. Jarum just wanted to go back to her dorm and fall asleep and forget about everything, but she knew that she was going to be dragged to whatever party that was bound to happen in the common room. 

Jaia interrupted her thoughts, “Well I should go before mother has a fucking aneruysm about me smoking at Hogwarts. I’ll owl you soon okay?”

Jarum smiled, “Yea okay.”

Jaia turned on her heel and walked towards the nearest exit, the sound of her heels echoing off the stone walls of the corridor. Jarum was alone for the second time that day and as she walked back to the girls locker room to get changed she felt as if something was wrong with her, like something had changed within her. She was admired and celebrated by the Slytherin students and would most likely be treated as some sort of quidditch god for the next few weeks. And yet, she still felt alone. The only person who knew about her being gay was Jaia, and she didn’t even go to Hogwarts. Which left her back at square one. 

She mindlessly wandered throughout the rest of the day, practically on autopilot. She didn’t feel the warmth of the shower as she washed all the dirt off her body. She barely even registered getting out of the shower and walking back to the common room. It felt as if she was living in someone else’s body. 

As the rest of the day wore on, Jarum continued living through autopilot. After realizing that she was completely and utterly alone at Hogwarts, she just couldn’t bring herself to just simply forget about the stress being gay would cause. 

Wasn’t coming out and accepting yourself supposed to be relieving? Jarum didn’t feel relieved in the fucking slightest. Being in denial and accepting herself both brought unnecessary stress upon her. It was a lose-lose situation. 

Jarum always seemed to lose. 

She could play a million different games and win every single time she played, but at the end of the day, she never truly won. 

Jarum just drifted along through the party, in an almost robotic manner. She was too busy overthinking, overanalyzing every possible situation in order to prevent her mother, and other people for that matter, from discovering the real truth about her. 

It wasn’t like her to plan shit out, she was normally impulsive and reckless, allowing her rage to be the driving force in most of her decisions. She wasn’t calculating and analytical, no those were definitely traits that belonged to Jaia. 

Yet she found herself analyzing  _ everything  _ throughout the entirety of her party. She didn’t drink, like Marcus, or dance with people like a complete moron, like Draco. Instead she found herself in an isolated corner, with a pack of cigarettes and the same lighter that she stole a few months ago, thinking and alone. 

Before she’d come to Hogwarts, Jarum had grown used to the feeling of being alone. But over the school year she had made friends and she had people who cared about her, right? So why did she feel alone again, why did she feel like she had to keep everything buried inside her? It was fucking exhausting. 

Time doesn’t exist when a person is lonely, the seconds, minutes, and hours just float right by, as if the universe doesn’t even acknowledge the presence and value of time. 

It’s why Jarum was currently sitting in front of the fire in the common room alone, hours after the party had died down. She didn’t know what time it was, she didn’t care. She held the photograph of her father in her hand, analyzing it again and again and again, she’d been doing it for hours. The more she looked at it, the more she  _ hated  _ it. Jarum was used to hate, hell she hated herself. But this hate was different, this kind of hate made her veins feel dark and her blood feel cold, like a ruthless reptile. 

Maybe that was the hereditary evil making a special appearance. 

Jarum took the lit end of the cigarette she was smoking and put it on the upper right corner of the picture until it caught on fire. She held the bottom left corner of the picture so that she could see the fire consume her father with burning herself. After the flame spread to the corner she was holding, she threw the picture into the common room fireplace, watching as her father’s face turned to ashes in the goldeness of the fire. 

Jarum had never seen anything more satisfying in her entire life. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I try to update as often as I can, but it takes me so long to edit because I am terrible at spelling lol.


	14. As the Sun Dies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beginning of the end for Year 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I wanted to update so much earlier but I was so busy this weekend, like I had zero free time. But I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.

Jarum had learned from very early on that life was the most unfair game she would ever play. It seemed in almost every facet of her life, she’d gotten fucked over in one way or another. And here life was once again, fucking her over. 

Over the past few weeks, in order to made sure no one found out about her, Jarum had quite literally tried to shut her emotions off, but she couldn’t, it was impossible _.  _ She felt everything, in fact she felt every emotion too much, too deeply. It’s why her anger issues were so out of control all the time, because the anger she felt was deep and consuming. She would never be cold and unreadable like Jaia, who seemed to have mastered the art of numbness by the age of seven. No, Jarum would always feel something, and she fucking hated that about herself. 

However, she was determined to keep her secret, which is why she’d been walking on eggshells around everyone the past few weeks. She always hesitated slightly before speaking, so that she could choose her words carefully and she tried to keep her face neutral whenever Hermione Granger was in her vicinity, even though her heart would be beating erratically out of her chest. It’s not like anyone noticed she was acting differently, no one really cared about her  _ that  _ much to take note of her unusual behavior. 

Speaking of Hermione, Jarum had now been meeting up with her on a nightly basis at the Astronomy Tower. The only time she felt the paranoia and anxiety slip out of her overthinking mind was when she was watching Hermione watch the stars, it gave her sense of peace that even the best cigarettes couldn't give her. The more nights she spent up there with Hermione, the more enamored she became with the sight of her under the soft blue hues of the moon. 

Unfortunately, Jarum had this feeling that constantly told her that if she got too attached to Hermione, that the other girl was going to be ripped away from her, in one way or another. Which is why Jarum really needed to start moderating how much time she spent with the Gryffindor. 

But that didn’t mean Jarum was able to control the thoughts she had about her, she had issues with control anyways. Controlling her emotions and her anger were already difficult enough. Adding Hermione Granger to the equation just made control even more of an unreachable ideology than it already was. 

She had thought about kissing Hermione every single day since the quidditch championship. She thought about kissing her during the sunrise and sunset, she thought about kissing her under the moon and the stars, where all the constellations would be their witnesses. She even thought about kissing her in the rain, which was strange because Jarum hated the rain. She thought about the fleeting times where she could’ve kissed Hermione, but didn’t because she was too much of a coward to let herself enjoy anything in her life. 

She always wondered if men felt this way about women. If women felt this way about other women, if men felt this way about other men, if anyone felt the way she felt about Hermione Granger. 

And it ate at her. She was the daughter of the two most infamous death eaters, a member of the Crange family, which was a part of the Sacred 28, and yet all she could think about was kissing a muggle born girl from Gryffindor. 

Every part of it screamed wrong and yet, Jarum couldn’t control it. 

The sinking sun emitted small rays of warmth across Jarum’s face and neck. Due to the fact that it was nearing the end of the school year, the sun had been setting a lot later in the day, meaning she could watch the bright celestial body die everyday from the Astronomy Tower more often than not. 

As if her thoughts could materialize, she heard the door to the Astronomy Tower open and Hermione stepped outside and sat down beside her, with two can-like objects in her hand. 

“What’s that?” Jarum inquired as soon as Hermione was settled down beside her. 

Hermione handed her one of the red cans, their fingers brushing lightly, which caused a strange yet familiar feeling to spread across Jarum’s chest. 

“It’s called soda, it’s a muggle drink,” Hermione answered.

Jarum inspected the red tin can, which read  _ Coca-Cola _ in white letters. She raised an eyebrow, “Does it have alcohol?” she asked jokingly. 

Hermione rolled her eyes, “No, Jarum it doesn’t have alcohol.” 

Jarum inspected the can further, realizing there was no lid to open the can, “How exactly do you open it?” 

Hermione sighed and leaned over to her, holding up her own can in the process. As she leaned over, the light from the retreating sun hit Hermione’s face perfectly, causing her features to be cast in an orange golden glow. Once again, Jarum couldn’t control her thoughts, because her mind became possessed with the image of Hermione’s features in that exact lighting. Her beauty was utterly indescribable. 

Jarum shook her head as she tried to focus on the instructions Hermione was giving her. 

“You just pull on the tab right here,” Hermione pulled on the tab of her can, which opened a small hole at the top, “And it opens just like that.” 

Jarum mimicked her movements and soon her can opened as well, after it made a small hissing noise. She lifted the can to her lips and took a sip of the brown liquid, shuddering as the cool bubbly soda made its way down her throat. 

“Is it good then?” Hermione asked.

“It’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted,” Jarum said while taking several more gulps. 

Jarum could tell Hermione was looking at her, she was always able to tell, it was like her sixth sense. She wondered what went through Hermione’s head when she looked at her. If their thoughts about each other were even similar in the slightest, it was highly unlikely. 

Hermione leaned her head on Jarum’s shoulder, it had become a familiar action over the past few months. She let out a sad sounding sigh, “Buckbeak’s execution is at the end of this week.” 

Jarum felt a stab of guilt in her stomach, “I still feel bad about it sometimes. It’s kind of my fault.” 

Hermione gently gripped her pinky and Jarum felt the familiar tingling sensation erupt from within her. Hermione spoke calmly, “It’s really not your fault,” she paused before laughing lightly, “Draco on the other hand, well that’s a whole different story.” 

Jarum chuckled and focused on the sunset, the brilliant red, saffron yellow, and soft purple all coming together to create a colorful, almost pink looking dusk. 

“I think it’s unfair how the sunset is always effortlessly beautiful,” Jarum commented in order to fill the silence between them. 

“Why do you think it’s unfair?” asked Hermione as she took another sip from her can. 

Jarum fiddled with the family ring on her pinky finger, “Most people spend their whole lives trying to be beautiful, they’ll even kill people for it. But the sunset, it doesn’t even have to try, it’s always going to be beautiful, no matter what color it is.” 

Hermione’s eyes flicked to her face, “I can name a few people who are so effortlessly beautiful that the sunset would be envious of them.” 

Jarum met her gaze, “Yea. Me too.” 

After spending a few more hours on the Tower, the two girls had decided to walk back to their respective commons rooms, making light conversation as they snuck through the sleeping castle. 

As they ducked behind a corner as a prefect passed them, Hermione teased Jarum lightly, “So you still haven’t found something that you like about me Crange?” 

Jarum stifled her laughter, “I already told you Granger, I don’t like you all that much,” she bantered back. 

Hermione smacked Jarum’s shoulder lightly as she put a hand over her mouth to keep herself from laughing loudly within the quiet confines of the current corridor they were in. 

When Jarum peaked around the corner, her heart dropped to her stomach as fear mixed with anxiety became the most prominent emotions within her. She could hear a distant pounding in her ears as her breathing started to increase slightly. 

Hermione noticed her behavior, “What is it?” 

“It’s fucking Draco,” she whispered. 

Her best friend was currently walking towards the corner she and Hermione had hidden around. She looked at Hermione, whose normally big brown eyes had gotten even bigger at the mention of Draco in their vicinity. Jarum could not let the blond boy catch her with Hermione, he would throw a fucking hissy fit and they would all get in trouble and that would be the end of her happiness, the end of her friendship with Hermione. 

“Stay here,” Jarum muttered to Hermione as she stepped from around the corner. 

Draco looked at her, as if he were expecting to find her in the abandoned hallways, “What’re you up to Jarum, I haven’t seen you since dinner.” 

“I’m not up to anything Draco, so I don’t know why you’re accusing me, ” she responded calmly. 

A deep set scowl made it it’s way onto Draco’s face, “Dont play stupid Jarum,” he whispered furiously, “You’ve been acting strange over the past few weeks and I know you’re up to something, you’ve been acting out of character recently. Don’t think I was too stupid to notice.” 

Draco walked closer to her and she put a hand on his chest to halt him and he spoke again, “What’re you hiding Crange?” 

Jarum sighed as she felt even more anxiety bubble in her stomach, it made her feel sick. But she supposed she should tell Draco, and by extension Hermione, what she was hiding. She fully trusted the both of them, even though she knows she shouldn’t. 

When she spoke, she spoke loud enough so that Hermione could hear her too, “The reason I've been acting strange I guess, is because I am hiding something Draco, I’ve been hiding it for quite some time now,” her heart was thudding heavily in her rib cage, “And the secret I’ve been keeping from you is that I’m gay.” 

His expression softened as he immediately wrapped her in a hug, placing his chin atop her head, “Why didn’t you just tell me, obviously I wouldn’t have a problem with it and you know that.” 

Jarum leaned her head against his chest, feeling his heartbeat, “I don’t know, I was just scared and paranoid, I guess. I don’t want it to get back to my mother.” 

Jarum wondered how Hermione felt after hearing her confession, if she’d still look at her the same way. The thought of Hermione looking at her as if she were some sort of…abomination was enough to almost make her fall apart in Draco’s arms. 

Draco eventually started pulling her towards the Slytherin dungeons, reassuring her that everything was going to be okay. But Jarum wasn’t sure, her only concern was the beautiful brown eyed girl who had heard everything. 

***

Hermione never thought the beauty of anything could be affected by the absence of another person. But the past three nights she had spent on the Astronomy Tower alone, the moon somehow looked less beautiful. As if it only shone in the sky for Jarum Crange. She wouldn’t be surprised if it did, Jarum was the type of person that could make even the dullest of things shine bright for her. 

Hermione knew that Jarum was avoiding her but she didn’t necessarily know why. She thought that Jarum would come to her the night after Hermione had overheard her confession, but she didn’t. And it put doubt into her mind, that maybe she didn’t mean as much to Jarum as she thought she did. 

Normally, Hermione would see Jarum a few times a day and they would share secret glances at each other from across whichever class they were. Those glances always sent Hermione’s mind into a frenzy and she wouldn’t be able to focus for the rest of the day because her thoughts were solely focused on Jarum’s golden brown eyes and soft, pink lips. 

Hermione often thought about kissing Jarum in the silver-blue moonlight that they were so familiar with. There was nothing she wanted more in the world than to feel Jarum’s lips pressed upon hers, if it were for the briefest of moments. 

But Hermione knew it would never happen, because if it’s one thing that Jarum’s avoidance had made clear to her, it’s that she would never in a million years feel the same way that Hermione did. Jarum was this untouchable entity of whom Hermione and a mass of other people were drawn to like a moth to a flame, and she was just this awkward book nerd that people barely found tolerable because she was described as an ‘insufferable know it all.’ 

Jarum was utterly fascinating and interesting. Hermione was boring. 

Hermione saw Jarum in a different light than everyone else did anyways. Most people described her as tragically beautiful, but Hermione thought there was nothing tragic about her beauty. She was just simply and endlessly beautiful. 

She sighed heavily as she walked towards Buckbeak’s execution sight, with Ron and Harry in tow behind her. The grass was crunching softly under their feet and a slight breeze was cooling the back of Hermione’s neck. When they arrived at the hill that was going to be overlooking the execution, Hermione’s heart dropped as she realized a gang of Slytherins were already there, in an almost joyful mood. 

Almost instantly her eyes found Jarum within the small group of Slytherin students. Her curls sat on top of her head in a messily thrown up bun. She was slouching, more than usual and Hermione’s heart dropped at the sight of her. Seeing the girl provided a stinging reminder of the nights that she had spent alone on the Astronomy Tower. 

Hermione tried her best to listen in on the conversation that was currently happening with the group. 

“Father said I can keep the Hippogriff’s head, that’ll be rich,” she overheard Draco say. 

“Draco, why would you want to keep the head,” questioned Daphne while inspecting her already perfect nails, “that’s disgusting.” 

Hermione noticed that Jarum was on the outer edge of the group, which was unusual, considering the fact that she was normally surrounded by the group, like they were her fucking body guards. 

Blaise nudged Draco and nodded in Hermione's direction, “Look who's here.” 

Jarum’s head whipped around and for a moment their eyes locked before the other girl looked down in shame, maybe she did regret avoiding her. 

“Ahh come to see the show?” Draco asked almost happily. 

Hermione felt anger bubbling inside her and it reminded her of the time Jarum had described what her anger felt like. The anger spread its way all over her body and she felt almost possessed by it. Is this how Jarum felt every single fucking day? Was she really this angry all the time? No wonder she had trouble controlling it. 

“You!” Hermione shouted, “You foul loathsome evil little cockroach!” 

She pressed the tip of her wand against his throat and she was brought back to that winter day in Hogsmeade, where Jarum had taunted her and her friends, it seemed so long ago. So much has happened between them since that day. 

“Hermione no,” she heard Ron say behind her, “he’s not worth it.” 

Draco looked like he was on the verge of tears while Hermione lowered her wand. As she turned around she looked at Ron and Harry, who seemed relieved at the fact she hadn’t done anything. But she heard Draco snicker lightly and that pushed her anger to a boiling point. She turned around and punched him in the nose, feeling the bones crack under her knuckles. She watched as the force of the punch made his head smack against the stone column that was behind him. 

Draco cradled his now bleeding nose while the rest of the Slytherin group looked at Jarum, as if expecting instructions. Jarum sighed, “The rest of you take Draco to the hospital wing, I’ll deal with Granger.” 

Once Jarum’s gang ran off with an injured Draco, Jarum turned to Hermione, with a barely visible smirk on her face and amusement shining in those infamous eyes. 

“Well you are two for two with breaking Draco’s nose. Seriously Granger, who taught you how to punc–“ 

Hermione cut her off, “Why have you been avoiding me?” she asked while stepping closer to her, so that Ron and Harry were out of ear shot. 

The amusement left Jarum’s eyes, “Because you obviously heard everything that I said to Draco. Honestly Granger I thought you had decent comprehension skills.”

“We both know that I don’t care that you’re like that Jarum, you know me better than that. So tell me the real reason why you’ve been avoiding me,” Hermione demanded. She could feel Jarum’s light breath on her forehead, she was always conscious of every inch of air between them. 

Jarum golden brown eyes held Hermione’s gaze, almost burning into her. She hesitated before opening her mouth as if she wanted to say something, but immediately closed her mouth right after she opened it. She wet her lips, which unknowingly made Hermione aware that she was about to lie, “It doesn’t matter Granger,” she said in a barely audible voice. 

Hermione sighed, feeling her heart beat heavily in her chest, “You don't have to bottle up everything all the time, it’s nothing healthy,” she tried in quiet desperation. 

Jarum blew air out of her lips, as if expecting a cigarette to appear out of thin air for her to smoke, “I know Hermione. It’s just hard not to.” 

Hermione nodded before turning around to walk back towards Harry and Ron, but Jarum’s voice stopped her, “Where are you going?” 

“To Hagrid‘s hut. We’re going to console him about Buckbeak’s death. You can come if you behave.” 

“Oh Granger, I always behave,” said Jarum as a mischievous smirk made its way across her features. 

Hermione rolled her eyes playfully and gestured for Jarum to walk back up the hill with her, towards Ron and Harry. 

Jarum reached the boys first, seeing as her legs were longer, and Hermione overheard Ron’s unhappy tone ask, “Mione, what’s she doing here?” 

“Haven’t you heard? Granger and I are the best of friends now Weasley,” Jarum replied calmly. 

She could tell Harry was looking at her with a smug expression on his face, but she chose to ignore it. Before Ron and Jarum could start full on bickering, Hermione interjected, “Both of you shut it. Honestly try to go more than five minutes without insulting each other.”

Jarum held her hands up in mock surrender while Ron just rolled his eyes. The quartet made their way to Hagrid’s hut silently. The atmosphere was becoming slightly cooler, as if dementors were nearby. It made the hairs on the back of Hermione’s neck stand up. 

Hermione knocked on the hollow door of Hagrid’s hut and he answered it almost instantly, as if expecting them. Though he looked surprised to see that Jarum was with them. He motioned for the four of them to come into the hut. 

As soon as they were settled into the hut, Hagrid rubbed a large hand across his face and sighed sadly, “I’m just so distraught about losing Buckbeak. I don’t even know what to do with myself.” 

“Maybe you should try smoking cigarettes Hagrid, that always makes me feel a little better,” Jarum said, trying to be helpful. Hermione turned her head to glare at her pointedly, as if to let her know that she disapproved of the notion that smoking cigarettes fixed everything. 

Once she realized Hermione was practically burning holes into the side of her face, Jarum spoke again, “O-or not, it was a dumb suggestion really.” 

Hagrid and Harry sat down at the huge oak table, while Ron poked around the hut mindlessly. Jarum and Hermione just looked at Buckbeak out the small window of the hut. Jarum looked almost pained as she watched the creature eat what was going to be his last meal. Hermione figured that she still felt guilty after everything. 

Hermione gently hooked her middle finger around Jarum’s forefinger, the action caused shockwaves to go down her spine. She ignored the feeling, she needed to let Jarum know that it wasn’t her fault. As if sensing what Hermione was communicating to her in that moment, Jarum gave her a small, genuine smile that caused the slight appearance of her right dimple. 

“I say we set him free,” Harry said after a few moments of complete silence in the hut. 

Hermione looked at Jarum who was looking at Harry with both eyebrows raised, “And how do you suppose we do that Potter?” she asked. 

Hagrid interjected before Harry could answer, “They’d know I did it. And that would only get Dumbledore in trouble. He’s gonna be coming down later, to be with me when it happens. Great man that Dumbledore.” 

“We’ll stay with you too Hagrid,” Hermione spoke up.

“You will not! You think I want you seeing something like this? No, you’ll drink your tea and you’ll be off, but before you go, I want Ron to give Hermione a hug.” 

“What!” shouted Ron incredulously, “I don’t want to hug her. No offense Mione.” 

“You two have been going at it all year and I’m sick of it,” stated Hagrid firmly, “Now go on.” 

Hermione closed her eyes as she awkwardly wrapped her arms around Ron. She did her best to picture it was Jarum that she was hugging, it only made it slightly easier. Once they pulled away, Hagrid removed a small, furry creature from a flour tin. 

Jarum scrunched her nose up distastefully, “Why do you have disgusting vermin?”

Ron, however, was excited to see his rat again, “Scabbers,” he said excitedly, “You're alive.” 

“You should keep a closer eye on your pets Ron,” Hagrid pointed out to the over excited boy. 

Hermione scoffed, “I think you owe someone an apology.” 

“Right. The next time I see Crookshanks, I’ll let him know.” 

“I meant me,” Hermione spat out through gritted teeth. 

Meanwhile, Jarum from the window spoke up, “Uh guys, I think Hagrid may have some company.” 

A light panic became contagious within the group as Hagrid ushered them out of his hut, stating that they should get back to the castle before dark. 

The group made their way back up the slope, where they could watch the execution from afar. The sun was now setting, and an awful thought crossed Hermione’s mind that this was the first time she had watched the dancing sun dip below the horizon with Jarum in three days and it came at the cost of watching Buckbeak die. Hagrid’s hut stood desolate in the dying light of the sun as the group watched as Buckbeak was prepared for imminent death. 

The clock tower began to toll and Hermione couldn't watch the horrible scene in front of her. She turned to Jarum, whose golden eyes were locked onto the sickening image in front of her regretfully. Hermione wrapped her arms around Jarum’s neck and buried her face in her hair, which smelled faintly of coconut. 

“I can’t watch,” she muttered softly into her neck. The rest of Jarum’s body was cold, just like her hand, but Hermione felt nothing but warmth in that moment. 

Jarum wrapped an arm around Hermione’s waist, reciprocating the hug. 

“It’s okay Hermione,” she muttered against her forehead, her soft lips barely making contact with her temple as she spoke. 

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” mumbled Harry once the axe made contact with Buckbeak’s head, completely severing it off. 

Hermione reluctantly pulled away from Jarum, who was looking at her with an unfamiliar expression, which was odd considering her eyes expressed every emotion she was feeling. Hermione’s gaze flashed down to Jarum’s lips, which were closer to her now than ever before. All she had to do was move forward a few inches and their lips would be joined together. But she then looked over Jarum’s shoulder, and saw that Ron was chasing Scabbers over a grassy hill. 

“Ron, no!” She shouted, but it fell on deaf ears as the red headed boy continued to sprint towards his pet rat, which was headed for the Whomping Willow. Hermione, Harry, and Jarum started to run after Ron. 

They stopped running as they caught up to Ron, who was now cradling Scabbers against his chest. Jarum stated almost angrily, “All of that for a fucking rat Weasley. You’ve got to be joking.” 

Normally, Hermione would have reprimanded Jarum for her cruel words, but she heard thudding footsteps behind her, which set off very loud panic alarms in her cranium. She looked behind her to see a huge black dog, bounding towards them menacingly. Her eyes widened as the dog jumped cleanly over the three of them and began to drag Ron towards the entrance of the Whomping Willow. 

Jarum was the first to react, “Shit Weasley.” She sprinted towards Ron and grabbed onto one of his arms, “I got you Weasley!” 

Harry then grabbed onto Jarum’s legs and Hermione grabbed onto Harry’s. They were hoping that it would at least slow the dog down, but he was simply too strong. The dog kept pulling the four of them along, until Jarum’s grip slipped away from Ron’s arm and he was dragged into the entrance of the tree. 

The tree began to swing it’s branches at them as they tried to figure out a way into the entrance. Hermione was panting out of breath, it seemed as if the rational part of her brain was growing smaller as she tried to get more oxygen into her lungs. 

She didn’t notice that one particularly large and thorny branch was coming towards her, until it almost hit her. Hermione braced herself for the harsh impact of the tree, but it never came. She felt herself be shoved out the way and the branch made contact with Jarum instead of her, knocking the Slytherin girl at least fifty feet back. 

Hermione’s heart dropped as Jarum lay on the ground in the distance, her limbs sprawled out in awkward positions. “Jarum!” She shouted and tried to run after her, but was stopped by Harry. 

“Hermione, we need to save Ron from whatever creature that is. Crange will be okay, I promise.” 

Hermione nodded reluctantly and allowed one of the heavy black branches to scoop her body up, flailing her around in the air for a few moments. The wind rushed all around her and it made her eyes water heavily. The branch slung her close to the ground and she grabbed onto Harry's arm, holding on tightly so he wouldn’t be thrown from the tree. After a few more adrenaline inducing moments of being flailed around in the air, the tree threw them into the entrance, where they landed almost painfully. 

Hermione could have been imagining it, but right before she was thrown into the entrance, she could’ve sworn she saw Jarum get up and walk towards the tree. 

“Where do you suppose this goes?” She asked as she and Harry made their way through the winding tunnel. 

“I have a hunch,” Harry replied, “I just hope I’m wrong.” 

They made their way to the end of the hallway and pulled themselves up into a small opening, Hermione looked around the dingy and dusty room they were in. Furniture was strewed about messily, scratches were slashed into every single wall, Hermione felt her heart drop fearfully, “We’re in the Shrieking Shack aren’t we Harry?”

Harry nodded at her and they continued to walk throughout the shack, desperate to find Ron. Harry then kicked a door down and they were met with the sight of Ron clutching his bloody foot. 

“Ron,” she stated happily as relief flooded through her body, “You’re alive.” 

“Where’s the dog?” Harry asked, still concerned. 

“It’s a trap,” Ron’s voice cracked, “He’s the dog. He’s an animagus!” 

Harry and Hermione turned around cautiously and real unadulterated fear consumed Hermione’s mind as she was met with the sight of the man she saw in the papers. Matted black hair, sickly pale skin that reminded her of a corpse. 

Sirius Black. 

She swallowed heavily, she couldn’t control the words that came out of her mouth, “If you want to kill Harry, you’ll have to kill us too.” 

“No,” the evil man reasoned cruelly, “Only one will die tonight.” 

“Then it’ll be you,” Harry responded angrily while pointing his wand at Black. 

Normally, Hermione knew all of the right things to say at the right moment, but now, she was truly at a loss for words. She had never been this scared before in her life.

“Harry no,” she whispered to her friend. Sirius Black was a convicted murderer, he could easily kill Harry in the blink of an eye. 

Suddenly, the door crashed open and Professor Lupin walked through the door and Hermione felt a slight sense of relief, that slight calmed her fear, surely he would save them from this insane murderer. But he ignored the trio’s anxious greetings and made his way over to Black. 

“Looking a bit ragged are we Sirius,” he said almost fondly, “Finally the skin reflects the madness within.” 

“You'd know all about the madness within wouldn’t you Remus,” Black replied. 

The two men regarded each other, the air heavy with tension, before Lupin stepped closer to Black and pulled him into a  _ loving _ embrace. 

“No!” Hermione felt herself shout as her relief washed back into fear, “I trusted you! And you’re his friend. He’s a werewolf, that’s why he’s been missing class!”

Lupin pulled away from Black and began to advance on her, “How long have you known?” he questioned. 

“Since Professor Snape set the essay,” she replied while she backed away from him slightly. 

“Well Ms. Granger you truly are the brightest witch of your age aren’t you,” he said almost condescendingly. 

Normally hearing people compliment her that brought her an overwhelming sense of pride, but now it just made her sick to her stomach. 

She heard the steps of the Shack creak slightly, as if another person were entering the damned hell hole. Her breath caught in her throat as she realized it might be Jarum. Would she really fight through an injury just to make sure Hermione was okay? Any other sane person would have just gone to the hospital wing or just left at the sight of danger. 

The creaking stopped and Hermione’s heart dropped, maybe it was just a stupid rat or cockroach. She sighed to herself as realized she might die here, she never got the chance to tell Jarum how she felt. But she felt a strange sense of peace, at least she had gotten to see the sunset with her one last time. 

However a familiar voice sounded throughout the walls of the shack, a voice that caused chills to go up Hermione’s spine, a voice that her eardrums had learned to listen for even in the largest of crowds. Every single head in the Shrieking Shack whipped around to face the owner of the nearly raspy voice as it spoke. 

“What the fuck?”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading, commenting and leaving kudos, the next chapter should be up soon!


	15. I Like Your Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A direct continuation from the previous chapter. Also slight warning for an anxiety attack at the beginning parts of the chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I needed to get this chapter up as soon as possible because I felt like the last chapter wasn't good enough. I felt like I used too much of the script from the movie instead of relying on my writing. Anyways I hope you guys enjoy this chapter a lot more.

“What the fuck?” 

Jarum watched as every set of eyes in the old, crumbling building flickered over to her, she nearly relished in the fact that she had everyone’s undivided attention. Her eyes scanned each person in the dark dingy room uncaringly, until they landed on the only set of brown eyes that mattered to her. She walked over to Hermione, who was still looking at her as if she’d had just come back from the dead. 

“You’re okay,” she stated happily, a broad smile widening across her expression, “I thought the tree had knocked you unconscious.” 

Jarum was almost certain that she had received her third concussion in less than a year from the impact of the tree. There was faint ringing in her ears and if someone were to shine a light in her eye, Jarum was positive it would cause a head splitting migraine. She also struggled to breathe slightly, seeing as the tree had knocked all of the air out of her lungs, but other than that she was fine. 

She smirked at Hermione, “I take harder hits than that everyday in quidditch practice Granger.” 

If they were in any other situation, she would have taken the time to admire Hermione, but she didn’t have the chance to, because the man with an extremely gruff voice addressed her directly. 

“You must be a Crange. I went to school with your father for a short period of time. Jaia is it?” 

She reluctantly tore her gaze away from Hermione and fixed it onto the man who had asked her the question. The man she had seen in the papers, the man who her mother desperately needed information about for some reason that was still unknown to her. If she were to be put in this exact predicament months ago she’d be memorizing every single word and interaction so that she could relay the events back to her mother, because she wanted to be valuable. But now, she didn’t really care all that much, she just wanted to make it out of this damned Shack alive. 

A small chill ran up her spine and she got a glimpse of the man’s rotten teeth, “It’s Jarum actually, Jaia’s my older sister.” 

She didn’t necessarily have time to dwell on the subtle nerve he hit when it came to Jaia being more well known than her, because the man spoke to her again in the same gruff tone as before, “Ah, I figured. I knew you were the  _ other  _ child. The less appreciated siblings are always…flawed somehow,” he gestured to her scar. 

Jarum instantly reached up to undo her hair from its bun. She’d grown her hair out so that it was long enough and thick enough to partially cover her scar when she wore it down. As she fixed her hair to cover the singular flaw on her face, she missed the almost sad look Hermione gave her. 

Jarum felt the anger that she had desperately been trying to control recently creep back up in her throat at the fact that this disgusting looking man had the audacity to make a snide comment about her biggest insecurity. 

“You’d know all about being flawed wouldn’t you,” she paused, gauging the man’s facial expression, searching for hints of anger, before continuing, “I mean you are Sirius Black after all, you were disowned and banished by your family. By ancient pureblood laws, you’re biggest flaw there is.” 

She had expected her words to make the man angry, but they didn’t, they had zero effect on him. Normally she was able to say just the right thing to get under someone’s skin, but Sirius Black was unphased and that made her frustrated because she couldn’t make him feel the same insecurity that he made her feel. She couldn’t get even with him. 

He chuckled at her as his eyes flicked between her and Hermione who had now wrapped a hand around her bicep, pulling Jarum towards her and away from Black. The warmth she felt from the simple touch contrasted against the rest of her cold body. 

“I was like you once, obeying every single law my mother set out for me, until I stopped giving a shit,” Jarum watched as his eyes flicked over to Lupin and she noticed that his expression softened in the slightest, it made her think of the rumor Goyle had mentioned all of those months ago in the Great Hall, maybe it was true. His dark, demented gaze zeroed in on Hermione’s hand on her arm. “and one day, you’ll stop giving a shit too.” 

Jarum’s heart dropped in nervousness, there was no way she was that obvious about it. Right? She thought she had been so careful about hiding it, maybe she had been almost too careful. There was no way Sirius Black knew how she felt about Hermione Granger. Right? 

He seemed satisfied with the fact that he had shut her up with just a simple sentence. He turned to Harry, “Enough talk,” he announced roughly, “he dies. If you won’t do it with me Remus,I’ll do it myself.”

Jarum’s heartbeat sped up, she and Harry weren’t necessarily the best of friends but that didn’t mean she wanted a front row seat to his demise. Plus Hermione and Draco would both be heartbroken. The wizarding world as a whole would descend into chaos because Voldemort’s return would be inevitable if Harry died. Her hands began to tremble nervously at the thought of the Dark Lord coming back. Not much unnerved her, but the simple thought of the dark and powerful wizarding entity returning was enough to make her sick to her stomach. 

Lupin hesitated, “Wait Sirius–“ 

“I did my waiting!” Black shouted as if he were in pain, “Twelve years of it! In Azkaban!” 

Lupin nodded for him to continue and Jarum felt her head begin to pound mercilessly in her cranium as fear overrode her senses. She had never felt this afraid in her life, ever. It was so overwhelming that it was the only emotion she could recognize. The warmth of Hermione’s hand on her bicep disappeared, even though it was still physically there. Her other senses didn’t register anything other than the sickening trepidation that was consuming every single cell. She couldn’t hear, couldn’t smell, her vision became blurred. She couldn’t even breathe properly. It felt as if an imaginary hand had closed around her throat, effectively cutting off her airways, making her choke around nothing. 

Jarum couldn’t focus on anything that was happening around her, it felt like she was drowning in her own body. The noise of Black and Lupin yelling out important information about Harry’s past sounded like static in her ears. Her breathing rate was still increasing heavily as she tried to inhale air into her lungs that felt as if they were too small. 

Then suddenly, a warm hand lightly brushed against her scar and she jolted back into reality, she knew that soft touch anywhere. It was the first time ever that she had let anyone outside of her immediate family touch her scar and even then they were always so abrasive when they came into direct contact with it. But Hermione was gentle and caring as she brushed her fingers alongside the scarred tissue on her cheek. If it were anyone other than Hermione touching her, Jarum probably would have broken their hand. But because it was  _ her _ touching the scar, Jarum didn’t mind. 

Hermione turned Jarum’s cheek towards her as she muttered softly so that no one else in the room would hear her, “You need to look at me and breathe. I think you might be having an anxiety attack.” 

Jarum looked into Hermione’s eyes as she felt her heart rate slow down generously and her abnormal breathing was regulated. Those eyes always had some sort of effect on her.. But no matter what the effect was, good or bad, Jarum had been obsessing over Hermione’s eyes ever since the day she met her. 

Verbal chaos was still ensuing around her, truths were being revealed and revelations were being made, but the only thing Jarum cared about in that moment were those eyes that made her believe that brown was the prettiest color. 

“Your eyes Granger,” she said softly. When Hermione’s features morphed into confusion she spoke again, slightly louder, “I like your eyes.”

Hermione looked taken aback, but a small smile crossed her face when she realized that Jarum had finally named something she liked about her. Hermione opened her mouth to respond, but the door was blasted off its hinges as Professor Snape entered the room, disarming Black in the process. 

“Oh vengeance is sweet,” Snape drawled out smugly, “I hoped I’d be the one to catch you.” Jarum watched as he turned to Lupin, it’s as if he was ignoring the injured children in the room in favor of claiming some sick and moronic victory over the two other men in the room. “I told Dumbledore you were helping an old friend into the castle, and here’s the proof.”

“As usual Snivellous,” Jarum snorted lightly at the insulting nickname, which caused Snape to look over at her briefly in disdain before he turned back to Black, who continued speaking, “you are wrong about everything. Now give Remus and I our wands back, we have unfinished business,” his voice reverberated off the empty walls. Jarum noticed that he was no longer looking at Harry, but he was now looking at the rat in Ron’s arms. 

As the men continued their arguing, Jarum leaned back into Hermione ignoring the familiar and comforting scent that invaded her nostrils, “Do you think that abhorrent vermin in Ron’s arms is an animagus, that maybe he’s not even after Potter?” she whispered softly into Hermione’s ear. Jarum noticed that goosebumps arose on the other girl’s skin, but she didn’t think anything of it, Hermione was probably just cold and scared. 

Hermione subtly looked back at the rat in Ron’s arms, which looked as if it were struggling to get out of his grasp, then she looked back at Jarum and nodded her head slightly so that no one else in the room could pick up hints of their conversation. When she looked away from Hermione, she saw that Professor Snape now had his wand at Black’s neck and was attempting to usher him out the room. She felt someone nudge her and she looked to see Harry look at her almost pleadingly. 

“Give me your wand,” he muttered. 

“Over my dead body Potter,” she scoffed. 

“Jarum give him your wand,” Hermione commanded quietly. 

Jarum rolled her eyes, but she fished her wand from the back pocket of her pants and discreetly handed it to Harry. Once he had her wand in his possession, he pointed it at Professor Snape and Jarum’s eyes widened. He wasn’t going to use her fucking wand on a teacher. Right?

“ _ Expelliarmus,” _ yelled Harry, the force of the spell knocking Snape back into the walls of the Shack. The termite infested wood, crumbled around him and he was knocked unconscious. 

“Harry you attacked a teacher!” shouted Hermione. Jarum could only stare in shock at the fact that Harry Potter had just attacked her head of house using  _ her  _ wand. He must be mad, no sane person would have done what he just did. 

He then pointed her wand at Lupin and Black, “Earlier you said Peter. Peter who?”

“Pettigrew, he was a friend of ours at school,” answered Lupin, who was desperately trying to get to Harry to see his reasoning. 

Jarum recognized the name from the stories Jaia used to tell her when she was a child, “I thought Pettigrew was dead? Black killed him right?” 

“I thought so too,” Lupin replied, “until Harry mentioned something about seeing him on the map and the map never lies.”

Jarum pinched the space between her eyebrows in both irritation and confusion, she definitely should have just gone to the hospital wing instead of chasing after Hermione. This whole affair was mentally draining. She sighed heavily, “Sorry what fucking map are we talking about here? I’m not a cartographer by any means but I’m pretty sure you can’t see people on a map.”

“The Marauder’s Map. It’s a magical map my friends and I created back when we went to school here. It tracks the movement of everyone in Hogwarts,” Black answered impatiently. 

“What the hell, so you just basically stalk people using this map? That’s pretty fucking creepy if you ask me.” 

Hermione sighed and pulled Jarum closer to her so that there was no space left between them, “Now is really not the time for insults Jarum.”

“Yes I agree with Ms. Granger,” Black said before continuing, “Now Pettigrew is alive and he’s right there,” he pointed at Ron, who looked shocked and confused at the same time. 

“M-me,” he managed to stutter out. 

Black rolled his eyes, “No you idiot, your rat.”

“No Scabbers has been in my family for twelve years,” Ron desperately tried to reason. 

“It’s possible that Scabbers is an animagus Ron,” Hermione spoke up, “Jarum mentioned something about it earlier. It seems more likely than ever now.” 

“Show me,” replied Harry simply. Jarum was curious to see if what the deranged criminal was saying was true. 

She watched as Black and Lupin looked at each other once more, as if communicating silently. The looks that passed between the two men were familiar to Jarum, it reminded her of the way she and Hermione would silently communicate sometimes.

“Together,” said the two men in unison. 

The rat jumped out of Ron's arms and began scrambling away as Black and Lupin fired wordless spells at the rat. Flashes of red and green light illuminated the Shack in the blackness of night. The rat tried to jump off a table and one of the spells landed which caused the rat to morph into a full grown man. 

Jarum scrunched her nose in disgust as the man turned around to face everyone in the room, his beady eyes lingered on her and Jarum felt herself becoming more and more uncomfortable and paranoid under his gaze. 

Pettiwgrew rubbed his hands together nervously, “Sirius, Remus. My old friends.” 

When neither of them answered, his eyes darted towards the door and he attempted to make a break for it, but he was shoved back by Sirius and Lupin. Pettigrew began to stutter nervously and Jarum got a glimpse of a familiar mark on his inner left forearm, it made her blood run cold, “Harry you look so much like Ja–“ 

Sirius cut him off, “Shut up you filthy traitor!” 

“I didn’t mean to betray them! The dark lord’s power is unmeasurable, ask yourself what you would have done in my situation.” 

“I would have rather died than betrayed my friends! And you should have realized dear Peter that if Voldemort didn’t kill you, Remus and I would.” 

Jarum watched as the man went white with fear, did he really fear death that much? Death wasn’t something Jarum feared like most people. People simply live to die and Jarum didn’t really have much to live for in the first place. 

He turned to Ron, begging, “Ron, please, haven’t-haven’t I been a good pet? Don’t let them kill me.” 

Ron backed away from him in disgust and he then turned to Hermione, who was still holding onto Jarum’s arm. “Sweet girl,” he began, addressing Hermione, “Sweet, clever girl. Surely you wouldn’t let them hurt me.” 

“Get the fuck away from her,” Jarum spat angrily while stepping in front of Hermione, so that Pettigrew wouldn’t get any closer to her. 

His small black beady eyes widened slightly in realization, “You must be Jarum Crange,” he paused as if sensing the part she hated most about herself and spoke it out loud, “You look so much like your father. Oh yes, we were great friends indeed.” 

Jarum closed her eyes, she was definitely going to need a cigarette after this. So many of her insecurities and things she had hated most about herself had been spoken carelessly into the air within the last hour. It was so fucking tiring. Jarum was tired. 

His eyes went to Hermione’s hand that was still wrapped securely around her upper arm as he continued, “I wonder how your mother would feel about you protecting a mudblood.” 

“Doesn’t matter now Pettigrew,” Sirius spoke up, he seemed to sense Jarum’s discomfort at the statement. “Because Remus and I are here to avenge James and Lily.” 

Pettigrew’s eyes widened and he shrank back as both men raised their wands, ready to kill him, but a voice stopped both of them from chanting out the killing curse. 

“No,” said Harry firmly, “Don't kill him. I understand that he betrayed my parents, but senselessly killing him won’t avenge them. I highly doubt that’s what they would want.” 

Pettigrew’s expression instantly changed from fear into gratefulness. He practically bowed at Harry’s feet, “Oh bless you boy, bless you.” 

Harry looked down at him in disgust as he continued speaking, “Instead we’re going to take him to the castle and let the dementors have him.” 

Jarum nearly laughed as Pettigrew began panicking again and she felt relieved for the first time all night. She couldn’t wait to crawl back into her bed and forget about this terrible encounter. She also didn’t feel the need to relay the events back to her mother, it wasn’t worth it to her anymore. She still wanted to feel valued, but not in a way that betrayed Hermione's trust. 

***

She climbed back through the dark and winding tunnel with the rest of the group as they exited Shrieking Shack. Harry, Black, and Ron were in front of her. Hermione was walking right beside her, and Lupin was bringing up the rear with a wand pressed to the back of Pettigrew’s neck. 

“So,” Hermione began in a teasing tone as they continued to walk out of the Whomping Willow, “You finally found something you liked about me.” 

Jarum felt her face heat up and she was glad for the lack of light in the tunnel because Hermione couldn’t see her bashful expression. “Shut up Granger,” she muttered, “I still don’t like you all that much.”

“Sure you don’t Crange,” Hermione replied playfully as they stepped outside into the cool night air. 

The dark star speckled sky was kissed by the full moon, it made Jarum turn to look at Hermione, who was glancing up at the stars, she was truly and utterly beautiful. Jarum was a tiny dying star and Hermione was a radiating planet, bursting with light and cosmic beauty. 

“I’m sorry you know,” Jarum said, “for avoiding you and making you look at the stars alone. I’ve just been going through a lot of shit recently.” 

Hermione turned to her, “It’s okay really, I understand,” she paused as a small smile graced her features, “Besides I think you made it up to me by pushing me out of the way from that Whomping Willow branch.” 

Jarum chuckled lightly, “I mean I hope so. My ears are still kind of ringing from getting hit that hard.” 

“Didn’t know I was worth getting a concussion for,” Hermione bantered back. 

Jarum subconsciously moved closer to Hermione, until they were only inches apart. Hermione seemed to move closer to her as well, as if two puppet masters had tied strings to their souls and kept pulling them towards each other. 

Hermione seemed to be avoiding her eyes and she sighed heavily, Jarum felt her breath land on her face. “I need to tell you something,” she muttered in a barely audible voice. 

“You can tell me anything Granger, I'm pretty trustworthy,” she replied lightly. 

“I think I-“ 

Whatever it was that Hermione was about to say was cut off by a commotion breaking out to the right of them. Ron’s panicked shout cut sharply through the air, “Hermione, you were joking about Professor Lupin being a werewolf right?”

Hermione sighed and rolled her eyes as she walked closer to Ron, who was looking at something just a few feet in front of him, “No Ronald I obviously wouldn’t joke about th-,”Hermione’s sentence was cut short and Jarum watched as her eyes widened in fear as they both looked at what Ron was looking at. Lupin was currently going through the process of changing into a werewolf while Black and Harry were desperately trying to calm him down. 

“The real you lies in here Moony!” Black shouted as he banged on Lupin’s chest for emphasis. It was no use, the transformation was nearly complete. Jarum watched as the veins in his neck bulged tightly and how his skin and clothes tore as he shifted into his new body. 

Jarum didn’t necessarily hold any prejudice towards people who had to live the unfortunate life of being a werewolf. But watching a transformation take place up close definitely was not a pleasant experience, in fact it was completely horrifying and sickening. As Lupin transformed, she noticed that Pettigrew was gone. Jarum sensed that his disappearance would come back to bite in the ass in the near future. She now had another thing to add to her every growing list of shit to be paranoid about. Life  _ loved _ to fuck her every in any and every way possible. 

She didn’t necessarily have time to think about the future paranoia that would haunt her, because Professor Lupin had fully transformed into a werewolf. Jarum watched as he swung a large paw and knocked Black back several feet, which rendered him unconscious. 

The predator fixated his black, glistening gaze upon them as he began to stalk towards them, as if he was a predator ready to pounce on his prey. All of them were completely locked into place as they were encompassed by the icy embrace of fear. Jarum swallowed heavily as her heartbeat sped up once more, this night could not get any worse. 

She looked over at Harry, who was the most experienced in life threatening situations, “do you suppose we run Potter?”

“No, I think running away would make him chase us down, it would make things worse. Plus Ron’s got an injured foot, so he can't really run that well.” 

As the werewolf drew closer to them, Jarum realized that throughout her whole life, she was described as extremely impulsive and reckless. It’s what set her apart from the rest of her family, who actually took the time to think most things through. Jarum’s brain just simply wasn’t wired like that. Anger drove most of her decision making, which made her wallow in hindsight and regret for hours and hours after she made an anger driven decision. 

But every once in a while, Jarum made a reckless or impulsive decision that benefited her, or the ones she cared about the most. 

What happened next was the most impulsive yet beneficial thing that Jarum has ever done in her short fourteen years of life. 

Jarum watched as the werewolf swung a large paw down towards Hermione, his razor sharp claws glittering in the sliverness of the full moon. Without hesitation, she covered the short distance to the other girl and shoved her head into her chest, effectively tackling her so that she wouldn’t feel the painful scratch of the werewolf’s claws. As they stumbled to the ground, Jarum felt three lacerations across the skin of her back, tearing through the thick and expensive fabric of her shirt. The exposed wound stung painfully in the air of the night. 

“Fuck,” Jarum felt tears rush to her eyes as the horrendous affliction from the scratches began to set in. The pain set all of her nerve endings on fire and it felt as if she were burning alive. 

She was laying face down on the grass, panting heavily, as Hermione scrambled over to her from where she had landed. Jarum had tackled Hermione with so much force that it had made them land several yards away from each other. Jarum looked up slightly to see that a huge black dog had begun to chase the werewolf away, she watched as Harry stupidly ran after both creatures. 

“Is she dead,” she heard Ron ask. Jarum was slightly surprised at his concern for her, they did not get along in the slightest. 

She rolled over onto her back, wincing as her wounds made contact with the prickly grass, “No you fucking moron I’m not dead.” 

“Jarum you just got scratched by a werewolf,” Hermione stated in an exasperated tone. 

Jarum breathed heavily, trying to relieve some of the pain in her back before replying, “Yea well, it was either me or you and I reckon I’m a lot tougher than you are.” 

Hermione smiled down at her and Jarum figured that getting injured to save her was the best impulsive decision she’d ever made. Hermione turned to Ron, who was standing awkwardly beside her, “Go make sure Harry is okay and bring him back here. We need to get to the hospital wing as soon as possible.” 

Ron nodded and limped on his good foot in the direction that Harry had ran off in. Hermione turned back to Jarum, “You know,” she smiled teasingly, “That's twice in one night that you saved me from getting hurt. Keep it up and I’m going to start thinking that you care about me.” 

Jarum did care about Hermione, she cared about her in a way that was so unfamiliar to her. She couldn’t exactly pinpoint what the feeling was or why it made her hard exterior melt for Hermione Granger. But obviously Jarum couldn’t tell her that. So instead she cracked the best smile she could through her pained expression, “Well we can’t have that now can we?” 

They stared at each for a few moments before a flash of brilliant cerulean blue light caught their attention. It bathed the otherwise dark forest with light, before fading out almost instantly. 

“Do you think that was Harry?” Jarum questioned while pulling herself into a sitting position. 

Hermione sighed, “There's no one else it could have been.” 

Hermione grabbed Jarum’s hand and pulled her up into a standing position. As they waited for Ron and Harry to return, they looked up at the sky, it was a comforting sight in the unnerving haze of the events that had transpired that night. 

“You know most of the time,” Hermione began softly, “If I was learning something new, I would become obsessed with it. I would read every single book there is about the subject and take countless notes until my brain memorized every little fact. But when it came to you teaching me about the constellations and such, I didn’t do that.” 

Jarum took her eyes off the sky and looked over at Hermione, who was already looking at her with an emotion that Jarum didn’t recognize, “Why not?”

The other girl breathed out her nose heavily, “I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to learn it in moderation, so that it would last longer.” 

Jarum smiled to herself, her heart was pounding within the confines of her rib cage, as it was trying to escape and give itself to Hermione Granger. 

“Well I’m glad I could teach the brightest witch of her age something.” 

Hermione smiled back at her and as if reading Jarum’s mind, she changed the subject, “You know you won’t become a werewolf. You need to get bitten for that to happen. So you’ll just have really bad scarring,” she paused slightly as if choosing her next words carefully, “I feel like it’s partially my fault, that if you have more scars. I know having one scar hasn’t exactly benefited you and now you have three more.” 

“You don’t need to apologize Hermione,” Jarum said earnestly, “It’s not your fault, I promise. Besides, I have a feeling I won’t mind these new scars.” 

The scar on her face haunted her because of how and why she got it. it was meant to flaw her permanently for something she didn’t do. The brand new scars didn’t mean she was flawed, maybe stupid, but not flawed.

Hermione smiled at her and neither girl said anything else as they waited for Harry and Ron to come back to them. When they did, Harry started rambling about what had happened to Sirius and how the spirit of his dead father or something had somehow cast a patronus in order to keep the dementors away. Jarum didn’t really remember anything he was saying, her mind was slowly succumbing to sleep as hours of exhaustion and pain were finally catching up to her. 

As they arrived in the hospital wing, Madam Pomprey immediately laid her down on a table, face down, so that she could examine her back. The older woman surprisingly didn’t lecture her for being stupid or reckless like she had done in the past, but instead she was sympathetic towards what had happened to her, not that Jarum was conplaining, the last thingshe wanted to hear was another fucking lecture. 

In her half asleep state Jarum noticed that Headmaster Dumbledore had entered the wing and that Hermione, Harry, and Ron were talking to him almost furiously about what had happened that night and that Sirius Black was framed for the murder of Harry’s parents and he should be pardoned as a free man. 

That night, Jarum didn’t have nightmares nor was she paranoid about the events that had transpired, instead she fell asleep as the gentle image of Hermione Granger was burned in her brain. 

  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, commenting and leaving kudos. The last chapter will be the final chapter for year three. I’m so excited to write about year four because I have some great ideas to further the plot.


	16. Back to the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter for third year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter would have been out so much sooner, but I literally rewrote the beginning for it at least 7 or 8 times, but I hope you guys enjoy it. After this chapter will be the summer filler chapter.

The world could stop spinning and fall completely off its axis, slip into an endless black hole, and instantly kill everyone on the planet, or the sun could stop shining, leaving a world of absolute darkness and Hermione would be okay with all of that, because watching the demonic angel that was Jarum Crange sleep peacefully was enough to make her be content with the end of the world. 

She felt a sense of familiarity wash over her as the silver moonlight that emitted from the large windows bathed Jarum’s features. Hermione gently ran the back of her knuckles against the jagged scar that stretched along the right side of Jarum’s face, remembering how it had felt against her fingertips earlier that night. It was the first time Jarum had let her touch the scar and Hermione had felt her heart explode at the unspoken gesture of trust. But that moment paled in comparison when Jarum had whispered quietly amongst all of the chaotic noise in the small Shack that she had liked her eyes. It had made Hermione’s chest tighten inexplicably, when she had uttered those four simple words. Though, Hermione didn’t know how someone as fascinating as Jarum could be entranced by her boring and plain brown eyes. Hermione never thought her eyes were particularly pretty or captivating in the slightest. 

Hermione kept stroking the scar, wondering if Jarum would suddenly wake up and snatch her hand away, like she had done several times in the past. Though she would probably _never_ tell her, Hermione didn’t think Jarum’s scar is what flawed her. Hermione knew that the other girl’s true flaws and insecurities were more internal than external. And she knew that those internal flaws, whatever they may be, would come out into the light sooner or later. 

“Hermione,” her hand stopped stroking the scar and simply rested on the side of Jarum’s face as she turned around at the sound of her name being called. 

Harry walked towards her, his eyes briefly glanced at Jarum’s sleeping figure, before he fixed his gaze back on her. 

“What did Dumbledore say?” she asked quietly as he stood in front of her. 

Harry ran his hand down his face roughly, his glasses lifting off his face as he did so, “He said that it’s too late to prove his innocence, and he also mentioned something about a dementor's kiss. Do you know anything about that?” 

Hermione looked back at Jarum studying her familiar features over and over again, as she addressed Harry, “The Dementor's Kiss is a process in which they suck the life out of a subject without actually killing them, so an empty shell of person is left when they're done.”

She heard Harry breathe out heavily through his nose in frustration, “It’s not fair, I mean I just found out that he was a part of my family, and now’s going to be ripped away from me again.”

Hermione pulled away from Jarum and walked over to him, the silver chain on her neck weighing down heavily as a reminder that her night was far from over. She untucked the Time Turner from her shirt and held it in front of Harry, who looked at it curiously. 

Taking in Harry’s lack of understanding with the object she held in front of her, Hermione began speaking, “It’s a Time Turner. Professor Mcgonagall gave me one at the start of the year, it’s how I've been taking extra classes. Maybe it’s not too late for Sirius, maybe we can use this to save him in time.”

A slow smile began to stretch across Harry’s face at the prospect of saving Sirius, “Hermione you’re a genius.”

She smiled back at him slowly, “Well they don’t call me the brightest witch of my age for nothing do they?”

She gestured for him to come closer, preparing to spin the Time Turner so that it would send them a few hours back into the past. She glanced over at Jarum, hesitating, wishing she could stay a little longer, but she couldn’t, some things were more important than the girl she fancied. 

She breathed in slightly before spinning the Time Turner. The air around her whirled as her environment became a mess of colors. It felt as if she were free falling through time and space as the device transported her and Harry into the past. 

They landed roughly on a patch of grass, Hermione’s head was still spinning slightly and the space between her eyes was throbbing heavily. She blinked a few times, attempting to get rid of the black spots in her vision. A terrible migraine was definitely in her future. 

She looked over at Harry, who had already picked himself off the ground and was brushing the dirt off of his clothes. He walked over to her and offered her a rough and calloused hand. Hermione grasped it and allowed him to pull her into a standing position. 

“What time is it now?” He asked while taking in their surroundings. The sun hadn’t yet gone down and there was a slight breeze that rustled the trees around them. 

“I’d say it’s about half past six,” Hermione replied, “Just about thirty minutes before Buckbeak’s execution.” 

Harry nodded, “I think we were confronting the Slytherin group around this time, if I’m not mistaken.” 

Hermione rubbed circles around her temple, trying to ease the relentless pounding in her head. “Yea,” she replied, “We can’t let anyone see us though, that would disrupt the whole timeline.” 

Harry made a noise of agreement and the two of them began to stalk towards the grassy hill, sticks and small fallen tree branches crunching almost loudly under their feet. Hermione knew that the sound probably wasn’t that loud, but sneaking around seemed to make every single step or breath a million times more amplified. 

She and Harry ducked into a dark hallway, just as the past version of Hermione began storming towards Draco angrily. The current Hermione, however, wasn’t watching herself confront Draco. No, she was more focused on the way Jarum looked at her as she confronted the blonde boy. 

There was a slight gleam in the other girl’s eye as she shouted at Draco, as if she were amused by the whole situation. Hermione didn’t have time to dwell on what Jarum’s amusement might’ve meant, because she heard Harry’s voice echo softly against the walls hallway they were currently hiding in. 

“Malfoy can be an utter prat sometimes, I’m glad you socked him,” he said right as past Hermione punched Draco in the nose. 

Hermione smiled softly, “I know right, I don’t understand how Jarum puts up with him most of the time.”

When Harry didn’t respond, she looked back at him to find that he was staring at Draco’s retreating form almost longingly. That was something that was extremely out of character for him. Why would he stare at Draco like that? Hermione thought Harry despised him. 

She shook her head, realizing that she had more important things to worry about the moment. As the rest of the Slytherins left, Hermione refocused her attention on Jarum, the curly strands from her messily thrown up bun were currently swaying in the breeze. 

“Hermione,” Harry whispered to her, and she tore her eyes away from the scene reluctantly. Once Harry noticed he had her full attention, he spoke again, “Is it possible to save Buckbeak, and Sirius?” he questioned hopefully. 

Hermione ran over the possibilities in her head, saving Buckbeak would be extremely risky, seeing as Hagrid could get into loads of trouble. But it was better to take risks and accept the consequences than to not take any at all. 

“I don’t see why not, but we have to be very very careful,” she replied. 

“Well we also need to hurry,” Harry pointed out, Hermione turned back to the previous scene she was watching and realized that the past versions of themselves had already made their way to Hagrid’s hut. 

Hermione and Harry hurriedly made their way down the hill, scanning their surroundings as they did, making sure no one had seen them. Once they had reached the small hut, they hid behind abnormally large pumpkins, waiting for the perfect opportunity to absolve Buckbeak from unnecessarily tight chains. 

Hermione peaked through the window of Hagrid’s hut, watching as she grasped one of Jarum’s fingers in her hands. Hermione wished she could be physically back in her past body so she could relive the sensation of Jarum’s skin on hers, even if it was the simplest and smallest of touches. 

“You must really fancy her,” Harry stated, interrupting her staring once again.

Hermione smiled tightly, attempting to downplay her emotions, “No, it’s just a silly crush really. She’s just nice to look at.” 

Harry saw right through her, his green eyes burned into her, “I see the way you look at her Mione. You always get this look in your eyes when she’s around, even when she’s being an asshole. You look at her like she puts the stars in the fucking sky.” 

Jarum didn’t put the stars in the sky, of course she didn’t. But she gave them meaning. Because of Jarum, Hermione didn’t see the stars as balls of gas thousands of light years away. 

“It doesn’t matter Harry,” she replied, her eyes still glued onto the past versions of Jarum and herself, “she doesn’t feel the same.” 

Harry’s retort was cut off by the sound of the hut opening and footsteps pounding heavily against the ground. Hermione and Harry both peaked over the large pumpkins to see their past selves running away hurriedly from the hut as Cornelius Fudge and Headmaster Dumbledore entered. 

Harry was about to stand up from his squatting position, but Hermione quickly pulled him back down. 

“What’re you doing?” 

“I’m going to go save Buckbeak, obviously. The minister is distracted and the executioner is nowhere to be seen, this is the perfect opportunity Hermione,” Harry reasoned, while rolling his eyes.

Hermione sighed loudly, “No it’s not. Think about it strategically. If we save Buckbeak now, then Hagrid will be blamed for setting him free and he’ll lose his job. We have to wait until Fudge exits with Hagrid, then we can set him free. That way it’ll be assumed that Buckbeak escaped.” 

Harry nodded in understanding and the two of them waited until Fudge and Dumbledore had walked out of the hut with Hagrid before making their way over to Buckbeak, who was struggling against his chains. Harry began to yank on the heavy metal chains, growing more and more frustrated at the fact that the chains wouldn’t budge. 

Hermione noticed a dead ferret on the ground next to Buckbeak. She briefly recalled how Hagrid had said that the hippogriff’s favorite snack was dead animals, this included ferrets. As Harry continued to struggle with the heavy, rusting chains, Hermione stalked over to the dead animal and picked it up, gingerly holding it between her thumb and forefingers. 

A loud pop echoed across the trees of the forest as Harry finally pulled off the chain that was wrapped around Buckbeak’s neck. She continued to walk closer to the hippogriff, who wasn’t budging from his position, despite Harry’s encouragement. 

She approached Buckbeak slowly while holding the dead ferret in front of her, “Come on,” she encouraged in the same tone she used to address Crookshanks, “Come on Buckbeak, come get this disgusting dead ferret.” 

She could tell Harry was looking at her as if she’d gone insane, but she didn’t care, it was working. The hippogriff was slowly beginning to walk towards her as she backed away from execution sight, using the dead ferret to lure him away. 

Right before Hermione could completely lure him into the forest, voices began to crawl closer and closer to where Hermione and Harry were. Panic shot through her as Fudge entered her line of vision. If they got caught, everything would go to shit. 

As Fudge began to turn his head towards them, Dumbledore refocused his attention back on him, and Harry and Hermione breathed a collective sigh of relief as they began to usher Buckbeak further and further away from the execution sight. 

They made their way through the forest, the trees becoming a blurred mix of greens and yellows as they ran further and further away from being caught. They came to the edge of Forbidden Forest, just a few hundred feet away to the entrance of the Whomping Willow. 

Hermione bent over, she put her hands on her knees as she gasped for air, “And now we wait,” she said between taking deep breaths. 

“Wait for what exactly?” Harry asked. 

Hermione stood up straight and rolled her eyes, “The right time to save Sirius, obviously Harry.” 

“Well all I know is when the dementor’s were closing in on me earlier I think my dad sent them away with his patronus, but I don’t know how it would work out in this timeline.” 

Hermione cocked an eyebrow as she tilted her head curiously, “But Harry isn’t your dad-“ 

“Dead, yes I know,” he finishes her sentence. 

Hermione pressed her lips onto a thin line, not wanting to discuss the topic of Harry’s deceased parents any further. She watched as past versions of herself and the group she was with that night came out of the willow, she nudged Harry to get his attention. It had grown dark so suddenly, that Hermione felt paranoia creep its way through her body, until every single cell was set ablaze with the sense of foreboding. 

She knew what was about to happen soon, Jarum was going to sacrifice herself for Hermione, it definitely wasn’t something she wanted to witness a second time. Hermione watched from afar as Professor Lupin transformed into a werewolf, she felt sorry for him, it must be horrible to live like that. 

Hermione distracted herself from the scene in front of her by looking at the luminous sky that was aglow with the light of the full blue moon. Jarum had told her so many stories about the constellations over the past few months that she went over each story in her head, desperate to drown out the noise of Jarum’s agonizing scream of pain as Lupin scratched her. 

Harry must’ve sensed her distress at the scene taking place, because he hesitantly wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his chest, comforting her as she waited for the screams to stop. After a few moments, Harry whispered quietly, “We have to go after Sirius now.” 

Hermione nodded and forced herself to not look at her past self kneeling over Jarum’s body. She didn’t want to see the deep, open wounded scratches again, it was painful enough to look at the first time. 

She and Harry wound up at the other side of the lake, where they had a clear view of what was happening. The animagus form of Sirius had chased Lupin off somewhere and now it was just him and Harry’s past self at the edge of the Black Lake. 

Something in the air shifted as it went from warm to ice cold, Hermione felt involuntary goosebumps rise along her arms. She wasn’t the only one who had felt the shift, Harry’s expression hardened as he fixed his gaze on the black creatures that had now surrounded Sirius and the other Harry on the opposite side of the lake. 

“Dementors,” Hermione muttered to herself. 

A soft, weak blue light emitted from the other side of the lake as the dementors began closing in on Sirius. Hermione looked at Harry, “You have to do something. The past version of you isn’t strong enough to cast a big patronus.” 

Harry shook his head, “No my dad is going to show up soon and send the dementors away.” 

Hermione watched for a few moments longer, when the dementors kept getting closer and closer, she spoke again, this time more firmly, “Harry I don’t think your dad is coming. You need to do something _now_ or you’re going to die.”

Something inside Harry seemed to snap as he walked closer to the edge of the lake. He gripped his wand tightly and pointed it at the other side of the lake, “ _Expecto Patronum!_ ” he yelled as cerulean blue illuminated the night sky. Hermione watched in awe as all the dementors were cast away from the other side of the lake. 

After the spell had died out from the tip of Harry’s wand, Hermione walked over to him, “It wasn't your dad who made the dementors go away,” she stated simply, “it was you Harry.” 

Harry smiled, “I know, I just didn’t think I was capable of producing a patronus that strong.” 

“We need to get to the clock tower now, I think they’re holding Sirius there.” 

“I think I have a pretty efficient way to get there,” Harry said right before he put two fingers in his mouth, whistling for Buckbeak. 

“Absolutely not. I’m not the biggest fan of flying Harry, you know this'' Hermione hissed while watching Harry climb atop the hippogriff’s back. 

“Mione there’s no other way to get there in time.”

Hermione sighed, accepting the fact that she was doing this to save Sirius. She mounted Buckbeak and squeezed his sides tightly with her thighs. As they ascended up into the air, she closed her eyes tightly, wishing for the ride to be over as soon as possible. The sound of the air was deafening as it whistled loudly in her ears and she felt a dropping sensation weigh heavily in her abdomen. She _really_ hated flying. 

They landed atop the clock tower, where Sirius was being held in a dark cell. The man, who was previously slouched into himself hopelessly, perked up as soon as he saw Hermione and Harry land. He looked stunned to see them, as if he didn’t believe his own eyes. 

Hermione gestured for Sirius to step back further into his cell. She racked her brain as she tried to figure out which spell would get the iron lock on the cell to open. 

“Hermione,” Harry warned as he spotted torch lamps in the distance drawing closer to them. 

She began to pace back and forth, “Shut up Harry I’m trying to think.” 

Finally, her brain landed on a useful spell, she pointed her wand at the black iron lock, “ _Bombarda_ ,” she chanted at the entire door to cell blasted off its hinges. 

Sirius looked at her, clearly impressed, before mounting Buckbeak. As soon as the three of them were situated comfortably on Buckbeak, he quickly took off, his wings flapping powerfully against the wind. Hermione felt sick to her stomach once more. 

Hermione felt relieved as her feet touched the solid ground. She stepped off to the side and bent over, waiting for the sickening feeling in her stomach to end soon. As she was hunched over, she heard bits and pieces of Sirius and Harry’s conversation, but she eventually tuned them out in favor of respecting their privacy. 

She stood up straight as she saw Sirius approaching her out of the corner of her eye, “Ms. Granger,” he said as he walked closer to her, “Thank you for assisting Harry in saving me. I know he wouldn’t have been able to without you.” 

Hermione smiled at him, “It’s no problem really.” 

His expression shifted into a serious one as he leaned closer to her, “That Crange girl,” he began softly, “she reminds me of someone that I know very well. She probably has a lot of pressure on her from her mother, who is a complete cunt by the way, believe me I’ve met her. But she’ll come around, I know she will.” 

Hermione’s cheeks flushed, “Oh I uh-“ 

Sirius winked at her knowingly, “You don’t have to explain Ms. Granger, I know.” 

He then turned his back to her and faced Harry, he pulled him into a strong hug and Hermione felt so happy for her best friend. He had finally found someone from his family after being deprived from a father figure for so long. 

After separating from Harry, Sirius then mounted Buckbeak and took off into the night sky. Hermione watched until he became a small dot amongst the stars in the distance. 

She didn’t normally encourage smoking cigarettes, because of the health effects, but Hermione understood why people smoked them. She felt as if she could use one right now after the incredibly fucked up night she’s had. 

***

Jarum pulled a cigarette from one of her pockets as she looked out one the large windows of the abandoned hallway she was in. She put the stick between her lips and lit it with a small lighter, stolen of course. Ever since she had started smoking, Jarum had gained a small habit of stealing lighters from her peers. She now had a medium sized collection of various sized and colored lighters. 

As she inhaled the smoke into her lungs, she looked over at Hermione, who was looking at her with an irritated expression. 

Using her forefinger and middle finger, Jarum removed the cigarette from her mouth, “What Granger,” she began in a teasing tone, “Are you mad I didn’t offer you a smoke?”

Jarum held the cigarette out in front of Hermione, offering it to her mockingly, half expecting her to shove her hand away in disgust. Jarum’s eyes widened as Hermione plucked the cigarette from her fingers and brought it up to her lips. 

The same cigarette that had just been in Jarum’s mouth, was now between Hermione’s lips. Jarum felt her heart start to inexplicably beat faster, Hermione’s lips had technically just touched hers. 

However, her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Hermione coughing sporadically. Jarum smirked as she took the cigarette back from her, “Don't hurt yourself Granger.” 

“Piss off Crange.” 

Jarum smiled, falling into the familiar and borderline flirting banter, “Ouch Granger. Your words are so hurtful,” she said in mock offense. 

Hermione glared at her for a few moments, the tension between them was suffocating, as usual. Whenever they fell into moments like this, the rest of the world seemed to fade away as though nothing else mattered more than Hermione Granger. Jarum didn’t look anywhere else but Hermione’s eyes, as if that was the only thing keeping her sane and grounded. Those brown eyes truly held some sort of hypnotic power over her, they made her feel things she didn’t even think was possible. 

Hermione’s glare turned into a look of amusement as she began laughing slightly, “Back to what I was saying, before you rudely interrupted me with your disgusting habit.”

It was the last day of the term and the train to King’s Cross Station was set to leave in about an hour. Jarum and Hermione were sitting side by side on the floor in an abandoned hallway somewhere on the third level of the castle, having their final conversation before the start of summer vacation. 

“Harry and I managed to save Buckbeak and Sirius Black,” Hermione recalled while leaning her head on Jarum’s shoulder, not caring about the smoke she was exhaling every few minutes. It’s almost as if Hermione had grown used to the smell of smoke for Jarum’s sake. 

“How’d you guys pull that one off?” Jarum asked, genuinely curious on how they’d done it. 

Hermione sighed, “At the start of the year McGonagall gave me something called a Time Turner, it allows me to go back in time. It’s how I took extra classes the whole year. Anyways, Harry and I used the Time Turner to go back in time and rescue Buckbeak just before he got executed, then we broke Sirius out of his cell.” 

Jarum pulled her cigarette away from her mouth and leaned back slightly to look at Hermione from a better angle. Hermione looked back at her,she looked disappointed that Jarum had pulled away from her. “Wait,” Jarum began, “You mean to tell me that you had a device that allowed you to time travel. And instead of using it to do some really cool shit, you used it to take extra classes,” she laughed slightly, “Merlin, Granger, you are the only person I know who would do that.” 

Hermione smacked Jarum’s arm playfully, “At least I used it responsibly.”

Jarum watched as Hermione leaned her head back on her shoulder. She always felt so at peace and calmed whenever Hermione did that. It always seemed to weather the ongoing and raging storm inside her. 

“How’s your back?” Hermione asked quietly. 

The scratches on her back still hadn’t healed all the way. They stung horribly whenever she took showers, she could barely sleep most nights because the pain was borderline unbearable to deal with. But Hermione didn’t need to know that, Jarum didn’t want the other girl to feel guilty anymore. 

She looked up at the ceiling as she spoke in order to avoid looking at Hermione, “They're fine. Madam Pompfrey said the scratches are completely healed,” she lied. 

Luckily, Hermione wasn’t looking at her when she said this or else Jarum wouldn’t be able to lie straight to her face like she had in the past. Over the past few months, something in Jarum had changed, she could no longer look Hermione in the eyes and lie to her. 

“That’s great Jarum,” Hermione replied. Jarum could tell she was smiling against her shoulder and that made her smile in return. 

“I think we should write to each this summer, don’t you think,” the words came out of Jarum’s mouth quickly before she could stop them. It was such a stupid thing to say, what if Hermioen didn’t want to write to her. 

“I was thinking the same thing Crange,” Hermione replied instantly, she didn't even hesitate, “Though you’d probably forget.” 

Jarum scoffed in genuine offense, “No I wouldn’t Granger.” 

Hermione lifted her head off her shoulder and moved so that she was seated directly in front of Jarum instead of besides her. She held out her pinky, “Pinky promise me that you’ll write to me this summer and that you won't forget.”

Jarum looked at her outstretched pinky in confusion, “Is this some kind of muggle thing?” 

“Yes,” Hermione replied without missing a beat, “Now pinky promise me.” 

Jarum held out her pinky and sighed, “Fine I pinky promise that I will not forget to write to you over the summer.” 

Hermione linked their pinkies together and Jarum felt the familiar shockwaves course through her body at the simple touch. Though it was a familiar sensation, Jarum didn’t think she would ever get used to it. 

Right as Hermione unlinked their pinkies, a low sounding bell rang, signaling that it was time to head towards the train and that the year had officially ended. “Well that’s our cue,” Jarum stated casually, while getting up and throwing her cigarette butt on the ground, “I’ll see you soon Granger.” 

Hermione, however, didn’t say goodbye back. Instead she flung her arms around Jarum’s neck and she briefly wondered if her heart was going to explode out of her chest. Jarum reciprocated the hug by wrapping her arms around Hermione’s small waist and resting her chin on her shoulder. “I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Hermione muttered against her chest, “But I’m going to miss you Jarum.” 

Jarum felt an involuntary smile stretch across her face at Hermione’s words, “I’m going to miss you too Hermione.” 

Hermione pulled back from the hug and looked at Jarum, her eyes looked down at her lips for the quickest of moments and Jarum wondered if she had imagined it. She wondered if Hermione was going to kiss her as she leaned back in, their faces inching closer and closer together. Jarum felt soft lips press against her left cheek dimple, and before she could revel in the sensation, Hermione slipped out of her arms and walked away from her. 

Jarum watched her retreating form, a huge grin stretching across her face as she did so. She reached up to touch the spot on her cheek where Hermione had kissed her, warmth slowly spreading throughout her body. 

“Oh darling,” she muttered to herself dreamily in the empty corridor as if she were speaking directly to Hermione Granger, her whisper being drowned out by the walls, “You are something else.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading! I'm looking forward to writing year 4, I have so much good stuff planned. And feel free to comment requests/who your favorite character is and etc. I only have a rough outline of year 4 so nothing is set in stone and I want to make you guys satisfied as readers. The summer chapter is very short so it should be up soon!


	17. Super Rich Kids(Summer of 1994).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Important events from the Summer of 1994

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was only supposed job like 2000 words but I it carried away and now its 4000 words, I hope you guys enjoy it. Also the title is derived from the Frank Ocean song, "Super rich Kids" because the chapter was partly inspired by the song. Small tw for eating disorder near the end of the chapter, it's no descriptive but I'd rather be safe than sorry

**June**

Blissful and willing ignorance was something that belonged to the truly privileged. Jarum might be oblivious at some points and she wasn’t exactly the best in school, but she was not ignorant. She didn’t bathe blissfully in the false security blanket that was ignorance. Growing up in a family that was as fucked up hers, one couldn't afford to be ignorant, you had to know what was going on at all times. 

Jarum knew her mother felt some sort of distaste for her. She wasn’t ignorant to the disdainful looks her mother had been shooting at her ever since she sat down for dinner on her first day back from Hogwarts. 

“So Jarum,” her mother began, spitting out the syllables in her name as if they were some unsatisfactory dish, “Did you manage to get any useful information about Sirius Black from your time at Hogwarts, I heard he escaped the grounds.” 

Jarum swallowed, clenching her mouth shut so hard that it made all of the muscles in her jaw ache. She continued to look down at her food, refusing to answer. Life had thrown another lose-lose situation at her. If she told her mother what she knew about Sirius Black, she would lose Hermione’s trust and friendship. If she didn’t tell her mother, she would be considered useless, again. 

Damned if she did, damned if she didn’t. 

Jarum decided to withhold the information about Sirius Back from her mother, she could handle the verbal beration, she was used to by now. 

At her lack of response, Jarum’s mother sneered, “Well I can’t exactly say I’m surprised that you have once again proved your incompetence.” 

Jarum stayed silent, staring at the wall behind her mother, as if she suddenly found the interior design of the manor interesting. She could tell Jaia was looking at her from across the table, as if she were trying to send her some sort of telepathic warning to tread carefully. Almost as if her older sister were afraid for her. 

Her mother continued her tirade, “Tell me Jarum, what happens to owls who can’t fly, and are thus rendered useless?” 

Jarum breathed in heavily and forced herself to speak, “Their necks get wrung,” she answered quietly. 

Her mother smiled that fake, toothy, predatory smile, “That’s right. You know I’d hate for you to end up like an owl,” her mother paused and looked at Jarum, her black eyes boring into her. The dark evil gaze of her mother never failed to perturb her. It always made the hairs on the back of her neck inexplicably stand at attention. 

Her mother continued speaking, “I'd also hate for you to end up like your father as well. He was pretty, nice to look at, but completely and utterly useless. You’re only one of those things, Jarum. Get your shit together, or your unfortunate fate will be sealed.” 

Jarum breathed out shakily, she needed some sort of drug or cigarette to calm down her rapidly beating heart and anxious thoughts. Her old and familiar friend paranoia was also starting to spread like a fucking wildfire in the dry summer. She stared down at her food, trying to disassociate from her body from the internal fear that was consuming her slowly and painfully. 

Her ears barely registered the sound of Jaia quickly changing the subject, though she was grateful for it. There was no way on earth she was going to be able to deal with this kind of shit from her mother a whole summer and still come out unscathed. 

\--

Despite her unwavering hatred and the constant feeling of being unnerved by her family’s manor, there was one distinct place that she actually enjoyed spending her time on, the Grand Balcony. It was on the very top floor of the manor and it was hidden away from the rest of the world, just how Jarum liked it. Being on the balcony also reminded her of spending her nights on the Astronomy Tower with a certain brown eyed girl, but she wouldn’t admit that part out loud. 

Jarum brought the cigarette to her mouth once again and exhaled it towards the clouds that blushed pink and contrasted against the soft purple pigment that the sky was entertaining it’s audience with. Jaurm would never tell anyone, mainly because she thought it was fucking stupid for someone like her to think of something like that, but the soft pink hue of the clouds at sunset was her favorite color. 

Jaia spoke from beside her, interrupting her peace, “This sky shit is fucking boring to look out. I don't know you became so obsessed with it.”

Jarum rolled her eyes, it seemed as if Hermione was the only person on the planet who enjoyed looking at the sky as much as she did. “You just don’t have an appreciation for anything beautiful,” she replied while exhaling her cigarette smoke directly into Jaia’s face. 

Jaia waved the smoke away and glared at Jarum before replying, “I do appreciate beautiful things, my reflection happens to be one of them.”

Jarum snorted, “Oh for Merlin’s sake Jaia, how is it possible that you constantly manage to shove your head further and further up your own ass?”

Jaia smirked and plucked Jarum’s cigarette out of her hand, despite the fact that she had quite literally just finished her own, “It’s a talent.”

Jarum’s growing smile was quickly wiped off her face at the sound of her mother’s voice behind them, “Girls,” she drew out in a sickly sweet tone. 

Jaia flicked the cigarette butt of the top of the balcony, before both of them turned around to face their mother, who looked almost excited. Her dark eyes shone with joy and Jarum just had a feeling something bad was about to happen. Whenever her mother looked happy, it was a clear sign that something sinister was lurking beneath the surface. 

Once her mother was content with the fact that she had her and Jaia’s attention, she continued speaking, “I'm going to be absent for most of this summer. My coworkers and I are planning something...something big.” Jarum noticed that as she spoke, her mother got this far away almost dazed look in her eyes, it was disconcerting to say the least. 

“Well I hope everything goes according to,” Jaia said, picking her words carefully. Jarum just kept her mouth shut, she was too creeped out to even form a coherent sentence. 

Her mother smiled, directing her gaze at Jarum, it made her feel like tiny little bugs were digging into her skin, “Oh it will, believe me it will.” And without a second glance, her mother turned on her heel and left both of them without another word, her heels echoed against the desolate walls of the manor, even long after she was gone. 

\--

Jarum stared into the large vanity mirror that took up a significant portion of Jaia’s room. The bulbs that surrounded the mirror emitted a white light that was so strong it nearly blinded her. Jarum didn’t like looking into Jaia’s mirror, it showed every single minuscule detail on her face. It made her away of flaws she didn’t even know she had. 

Jaia stood behind her, meeting her eyes through the mirror as she brushed out her thick curly hair, making it even longer and bushier. Draco looked up from the book he was reading on Jaia’s bed, “So what made you impulsively decide to cut your hair?” he asked while running his fingers through his own hair, which had grown longer over the past few months. 

“Draco get your feet off my bed,” Jaia snapped, her eyes cutting over to him “I swear all men act the same, even the gay ones.” 

Draco rolled his eyes at Jaia's words, “You’re seriously making me regret coming out to you and Marcus.” Last week, Jarum and Draco had both come out to Marcus, it hadn’t been an emotional affair. The more and more people Jarum came out to, the more and more comfortable she became with her sexuality. She wasn’t ready to be completely out, but things were getting easier, which was odd because nothing in her life was ever easy. Plus, Marcus had the emotional capacity of a pinecone, so no tears were shed.

Jaia turned back to her, still brushing out her hair, which was so long that it was inching closer and closer to her waist. “Anyways, I am curious as to why you decided to cut your hair. I didn’t think you’d ever want to cut it.”

Being back at manor meant she had to face portraits of her father at every single turn, which meant that a floodgate of traumatic memories had been opened once more. There was nothing protecting her from the raw, vivid thoughts that her own mind had been abusing her brain with for the past few days. Amongst the recollections of her father, came the remembrance of what he liked most about her. 

Her hair. 

Her father loved her hair more than he loved her. He used to spend hours combing through her thick hair, not caring if he was too rough or if the way he jerked her head made her neck sore for days after. Jarum had been growing it out for years, even after he scarred her, even after he died. She was so convinced that if she kept growing her hair, that maybe, just maybe, her dad would come back to life and love her. It was a stupid fucking thing to think. 

She met Jaia’s eyes through the mirror, “I just felt like I needed a change,” she lied, “Plus it’s getting way too hard to manage.”

Jaia tilted her head as she examined Jarum’s features through the mirror, her older sister  _ knew _ she was lying. She was always able to tell. But she went along with it, “Okay,” she said with a sigh as she grabbed a pair of scissors off the dresser, “How short do you want it.”

Jarum didn’t want  _ all  _ her hair gone, she still wanted the length to be decent, “I want it cut just below my shoulders.”

Jaia nodded and began snipping away at her hair. Each time a chunk of hair fell to the ground, Jarum felt a little freer. 

***

**July**

Jarum received her first letter from Hermione at the beginning of July. Unfortunately Jaia had intercepted the letter before it got to her. She had walked into Jarum’s room, with a neatly sealed envelope in her hand, smirking. 

“You’ve got mail, little sister. A cute little owl just dropped this off about 15 minutes ago,” she said while dangling the piece of paper in front of Jarum’s face. 

Jarum snatched the letter from her, “You can leave now,” she stated firmly.

“Why,” Jaia‘s smirk grew wider, “You don’t want me to see who’s writing to you,” she teased. At Jarum’s flustered expression, Jaia continued to poke fun at her, “It's that Granger girl isn’t it? That’s so cu-“

Jarum threw a pillow at her, “Don't you have better things to do? Like ogle at yourself in the mirror.” 

Jaia rolled eyes and muttered something about teenage sapphics as she closed the door to Jarum’s room, the sound of the wood reverberated off the empty walls. 

Jarum eagerly ripped the wax seal and the contents of the envelope fell out onto her bed. A piece of parchment and a waxy photograph lay side by side one another. She picked up the photograph and a subconscious smile made its way across her features as she examined the picture. 

Hermione was cradling her hideous, yet beloved cat against her chest, partially hiding her face in his fur, almost shyly. Jarum could tell that someone else had taken the photograph of her because both of her arms were occupied by the obsese cat. Jarum didn’t know stationary pictures could be so utterly breathtaking and yet here was Hermione Granger, proving her wrong once again. 

Jarum set the photograph down and picked up the letter, which was written on a fresh piece of parchment, because Hermione would refuse to write on anything else. Her letter was written in cursive, which would have annoyed her if it were anyone else, but as usual, Hermione was the exception. 

_ Dear Jarum,  _

_ I hope this letter finds you soon, as I’ve missed our conversations. The sky doesn’t feel the same with your absence. As you can see, I’ve provided a picture of my cat, Crookshanks and I. Consider it something that will force you to honor your promise. I hope everything is well with you and your family and I hope you’re okay. I’ve been reading a lot recently, my favorite book is ‘Pride and Prejudice.’ Maybe I can lend you a copy sometime. Please write back soon, I miss you.  _

_ Love,  _

_ Hermione Jean Granger _

_ P.S  _

_ Stop smoking all those bloody cigarettes.  _

Her whole life, joy had eluded her, it was something that was always just out of reach. But as she read Hermione’s letter, she felt pure, absolute joy. It was nice to know what at least one person cared about her and actually  _ missed _ her. 

Jarum couldn’t wipe the stupid smile off her face as she grabbed a piece of parchment and an unused quill. She dipped her quill in brand new, expensive ink and began to write Hermione back. Her messy chicken scratch handwriting was a sharp contrast to Hermione’s perfect penmanship. 

_ Dear Granger,  _

_ I’ve missed our conversations too. Everytime I look at the sunset or the moon, I think of you, unfortunately. That was a joke, in case you couldn’t tell. Thank you for the picture of you and your oversized cat, I would send one back but I hate having my picture taken, but you already knew that. My summer has been decent, my mother is often gone for days at a time, so most of the time Jaia and I have the manor to ourselves. I’m sure pretty you are the only person I know who is spending their summer reading. You are truly something else. I don’t think I’ll be needing a copy of that book, seeing as reading makes my brain hurt. But I hope this letter reaches you safely, so you can see that I do honor my promises.  _

_ Love,  _

_ J.J.C _

_ P.S  _

_ I’ll try my best, but only because you asked.  _

Jarum looked over her letter over and over again, making sure that it would be satisfactory for Hermione. After assuring herself that there were no obvious mistakes, she called her small black owl Lucen over and attached the letter to his leg. She opened her window and watched him fly into the sunset, carrying physical proof that she would only keep her promises when it came to Hermione. 

\--

Ever since Jarum had picked up the habit of smoking, there hadn’t been much in her life that satisfied her in the way that cigarettes did. However, exchanging letters with Hermione left her satisfied in a way that a million cigarettes never would. 

Over the past few weeks, she and Hermione had been frequently writing letters to each other. In fact they wrote to each other so much that Jarum now had a small collection of letters hidden in a small wooden box in her desk. She kept the small picture of Hermione and Crookshanks on her person at all times, though. She didn’t want to run the risk of having one of the house elves snoop through her room and find it, or worse, her mother. 

Jarum was broken out of her glancing at the letters on her desk by Daphne settling across from her on her bed. Jarum found herself enjoying Daphne’s company more than usual. She had a wicked sense of humor, which was kind of unexpected for someone who was as high maintenance and as prissy as she was. 

Daphne grasped Jarum’s hands, her hands didn’t provide the warmth that Hermione’s did. They felt cold, much like her own hands. “Let me paint your nails,” Daphne inspected her hands closely, before grimacing, “Trust me you need it.” 

Jarum scoffed, “Fuck off Greengrass.” 

“Oh come on now don’t be like that,” Daphne giggled as she grabbed a bottle of black nail polish and a nail filer, “Consider this as me doing you a favor.” 

Jarum relented and allowed Daphne to give her a manicure. As she painted her nails, Jarum noticed how close Daphne was to her. They were literally only inches apart. 

The soft orange light from one of her candles illuminated Daphne’s features. The gentle slope of her nose, her pink full lips, and vibrant green eyes were all highlighted by the glow of the candle. Daphne was very pretty, gorgeous even. 

But she wasn’t beautiful, not like Hermione was. 

Daphne’s eyes flicked from her hands to Jarum’s face, her emerald eyes were dancing with amusement as they met Jarum’s. She didn’t like how Daphne’s eyes weren’t brown. She didn’t like how her hair was blonde instead of brunette. She didn’t like how she wasn’t Hermione. 

Daphne started to lean in closer and closer to her, until their faces were a mere centimeter apart. After a few moments, the blonde girl closed the remaining gap between their lips, connecting them together softly. 

Jarum just let it happen. 

Because Daphne was a girl and she had never kissed a girl before, and felt so much nicer than kissing Draco. 

Jarum just let it happen. 

Even though it made her feel empty inside because she felt nothing when Daphne’s lips pressed upon hers. 

Jarum just let it happen. 

Even though the picture of a certain brown eyed girl practically burned in her pocket the second Daphne’s lips touched hers. 

Jarum just let it happen. 

Even though she was desperately wishing that it was Hermione.

Jarum just let it happen. 

Because ever since she was little she’s had this nasty habit of letting people use her in hopes that she’ll receive some type of love in return. Like how she let her father use her for his obsession with her hair because she thought it would make him love her. 

Daphne pulled away after a few seconds, “Sorry,” she said while glancing around the room. Jarum discreetly wiped the kiss off her lips with her thumb. 

“It’s okay,” Jarum replied. It had been her default answer to anything for as long as she could remember. 

Daphne looked at her, for a really long time, but Jarum didn’t even notice. Her gaze was fixed on the box that contained letters from the one person who made her feel more alive than any cigarette did. 

***

**Early August**

Jarum let the bottle kiss her lips and allowed the liquid to slide down her throat roughly. Earlier that day, her mother had finally stormed back into the house, announcing she was back home for good. Jarum knew that everything was going to go downhill from there. 

Only her mother could make the warmest summer days feel like freezing cold winter nights. 

After seeing her cut hair for the first time, her mother had berated her for over an hour. Her words had cut through her over and over again like a knife and it felt as if she were being scarred again. There was no reason for her mother’s cruelty, her hair wasn’t even really all that short, it was still fairly long. But her mother often found any excuse to be cruel towards Jarum. She should’ve expected it, honestly. 

So that led to Jarum sitting back on the balcony, alone, kissing a bottle of firewhiskey more than she had ever kissed anyone else in her life. She wasn’t drunk, no, she had only been taking small sips of the alcohol. Tonight was a full moon and she wanted to enjoy it without being inebriated. 

The stars in the sky were dull, as if they only allowed the bright, glowing moon to have the spotlight. Jarum wondered if Hermione was looking at the moon right, now, like she was. She always took a special comfort in always being under the same moon as Hermione, because no matter how far apart they may physically be, they would still be under the same moonlight. 

That night Jarum had fallen asleep outside on the balcony, she was too entranced by the celestial beauty of the moon to bother retreating back inside the inviting manor. 

\--

The unfortunate return of her mother was only the beginning of the downhill spiral that took place in the early weeks of August. For weeks and weeks on end, Jarum would witness stange and nameless people come in and out of the manor. She never recognized any of them, but whenever she got a fleeting glance at the inside of their left forearms. She always saw the same thing. 

The Dark Mark. 

Jarum wasn’t ignorant, she wished she was though. Ignorant people were always the happiest. Ever since her mother had returned, Jarum rarely left her room. She would sit on her bed for hours upon hours staring at the empty four walls that she was trapped in. Sometimes she would reread Hermione's letters, committing each and every single one of them to memory, like she was studying for an important test. Those letters made her gray, dull life, just a little brighter. 

Other times, Jaia would come into her room, with sunken cheeks and lifeless eyes and talk to her. It looked as if Jaia ate a lot less ever since their mother returned, she had gotten so fucking skinny again. Jarum never mentioned that she noticed though, just like how Jaia never mentioned the scratches on her back that she had seen a few weeks ago when she accidentally walked in on Jarum changing. They found comfort in each other for those few weeks in the beginning of August, they distracted each other from the fucked up shit that was happening just outside of Jarum’s bedroom door. 

“Where’s Marcus been at?” Jarum asked while Jaia painted her toes white on the floor of Jarus bedroom, “I haven’t seen him in a few weeks.”

Jaia rolled her eyes, “Apparently he’s on some sort of vacation with his mother. He was supposed to be back last week, but their vacation got extended,” she sighed dramatically, “Men never fail to disappoint me.”

Jarum chuckled, “I’m sure he misses you just as much. Though I am kind of grateful for his absence, it makes it easier now that I don’t have to hear obscene noises.”

Jaia smacked her leg playfully, “While we’re on the subject of love lives, how’s yours going. I mean I know it's practically non existent, but I just thought I should ask.”

Jarum swallowed slightly, “Daphne kissed me a few weeks ago actually.” 

Jaia stopped painting her toenails and looked up at her curiously, “And? Did you like it.”

“I don’t know,” she replied, getting up from her position on the bed to ruffle through her things. 

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

Jarum had finally found what she was looking for, a pack of cigarettes and random black lighter, stolen of course. She put one in her mouth and lit it, taking a long drag and whaling the smoke towards her high ceiling. “I mean I don’t know. It felt better than kissing Draco and her lips were really nice and soft but -”

“But you didn’t feel anything?” Jaia finished for her, gesturing for Jarum to share the cigarette with her. 

Jarum passed it to her, “Yea exactly. And I don’t know why, because Daphne’s a girl and you know, I like girls.”

Jaia breathed out the smoke, contemplating her next words, “Maybe it’s because the wrong girl kissed you.” 

Jarum knew that the reason she didn’t feel anything was because Daphne wasn’t Hermione, “Yea, maybe.”

That night Jarum lay by herself in bed, staring at the four walls of her room, which felt more and more like a prison cell. As she listened to the sound of the deatheerts jeering happily downstairs, she realized that this lifestyle isn't one that she wanted to continue living. It made her feel just so...empty, like she was a shell of a person who was just wandering through life, completely lost. 

Jarum sighed and arose from her bed, lighting a candle, she decided not to smoke a cigarette. She reached into her desk and pulled out the small collection of letters. Reading every single one over and over again, as if for the very first time. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I'm so excited to start writing for year 4, the quidditch world cup will be next chapter because that deserves a chapter of its own. Thanks for reading!


	18. Hell in the Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quidditch World Cup and aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S insect this is the beginning of year four, I wanted to make you guys aware of the changes I've made. There will be a S.P.E.W club and the whole Jaia and Sterling plot line will be explored because it leads to more important stuff for the futre. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, writing from Hermione's POV is a challenge for me sometimes.

The overarching concept that millions of people have of Hell is that it is a torturous place that lurks deep within the inner layers of the earth. Hermione knew that wasn’t true for two reasons. Reason number one: Being indoctrinated into the Wizarding World had smacked any religious beliefs that she previously had right out of her; some of the things that she had seen were scarier than God itself. Reason number two: Hermione believed that if Hell were truly a real place and not some mythical idea used to scare so-called ‘sinners’, then it would rain upon society from the sky, not from underground. 

Luckily, Hell wasn’t real for Hermione because she found a deeply rooted comfort in gazing up at the sky, regardless of what it looked like. 

Which is why she was currently distracted by the murky blue color of the morning sky as she walked through a small forest, broken tree branches crunched loudly under her boots. Ginny broke her out of her comforting distraction that reminded her so much of Jarum, who hadn’t written back to her since the beginning of August. “You okay there Mione, we have to keep going if we don’t want to miss the port key.”

Hermione smiled tightly at Ginny before she replied, “Yea, I’m fine. My bad Gin.” 

Hermione had spent every single day of the summer months constantly thinking about Jarum Crange. There wasn’t a single day that went by where her mind wasn’t absolutely consumed with beautiful thoughts of the golden eyed girl. 

It was maddening. 

Especially because even the smallest of things reminded Hermione of Jarum.

Such as when stars kissed the sky to make stories of constellations, or whenever she smelled the scent of putrid cigarette smoke. Everything she ever thought about just led her brain right back to Jarum, it was fine at first, especially when she and Jarum had constantly been exchanging letters in July. But in August she had stopped writing back completely. It was so sudden that Hermione often worried her overthinking mind with the fact that Jarum wasn’t fine anymore. She wasn’t angry at her for not writing back, she knew that something must have been preventing Jarum from sending letters back to her. 

She sighed as she made her way up a steep hill that led to the supposed port key, the tall grass rubbed against the fabric of her jeans. The sun peaked its way over the grassy hillside and shone brightly into Hermione’s irises, nearly blinding her. 

As she waited for the others to catch up, Ginny walked beside her and spoke again, “That Cedric boy, he’s attractive isn’t he?”

Hermione’s eyes fixed onto Cedric, he was fairly handsome, with incredibly strong features. But Hermione wasn’t necessarily attracted to him. It reminded her of the way she found Jaia Crange beautiful, but wasn’t drawn to her in the way that most people were. In fact, the only person Hermione was drawn to in that way was Jarum. 

After staring at him for a few moments longer, Hermione looked back over at Ginny, “I guess so, he’s very handsome but –,” 

Ginny cut her off with a knowing smirk, “But he’s not Crange is he?” 

Hermione furrowed her eyebrows as her heartbeat sped up in nervousness, “What?”

“Oh please Hermione, I haven't been oblivious to the longing looks you were shooting her last year across the Great Hall. Plus, someone’s been writing to you pretty much all summer. And we both know that it wasn’t my brother or Harry.” 

Hermione would always deny how she truly felt about Jarum to anyone else because it didn’t even matter. Jarum didn’t feel the same way about her. Why should she keep speaking her feelings out loud if it were only going to lead to her inevitable rejection? “She’s only been writing to me about the upcoming Transfiguration classes,” Hermione let the familiar lie slip out of her lips easily. “Plus I only look at her sometimes because she’s nice to look at. That's it.” 

Ginny looked at her with raised eyebrows, she clearly didn’t believe her, “Whatever you say Mione.” 

Hermione rolled her eyes and went to grab onto a small piece of the worn out leather boot once she realized that everyone else was grabbing onto the port key, waiting for it to transport them to wherever they were going. 

As soon as she touched the boot, she felt a whirling sensation that made her sick to her stomach. It made her head spin and she felt her eyes water as she spun through the air quickly. 

“Let go!” Mr, Weasley shouted suddenly, his voice being slightly muffled by the immense amount of air that was rushing in her ears. 

“What?!” Hermione shouted back, if she let go of the port key then surely she would fall to her death. 

“You have to let go!” He shouted again. 

Hermione hesitantly took her hand off the boot and she began freefalling through the light clouds. The longer she fell, the more oxygen seemed to escape from her lungs. It’s as if the air around her had suddenly become a harsh vacuum that was greedily stealing the breath from her chest. 

It all came to a screeching halt when her body hit the rough, uncushioned ground. She grunted as the air that had left her lungs when she was falling caught up to her and reentered her respiratory system. Hermione leaned her head back onto the dying grass as she waited for the throbbing pain in her lower back to subside. 

She had only been laying on the ground for about thirty seconds, before rough and calloused palms slid under her armpits and pulled her up into a standing position. She looked over at Harry, who had pulled her off the ground. Though she could tell that he was too busy looking at Cedric Diggory from afar, it briefly reminded her of the way that he looked at Draco Malfoy. 

She snapped her finger in front of his face to get his attention, “Do you have any idea where we are?” 

Harry jolted out of his trance and looked around their surroundings. Countless tents in a myriad of different colors crowded around them. People were bustling hurriedly, not sparing either of them a second thought. 

“I think we might be at the Quidditch World Cup,” Harry responded after a few moments of inspecting the busy environment around them. 

Hermione began to respond when Ginny walked between them, bumping their shoulders as she passed them, “Keep up you two. Merlin you guys are moving slower than a fucking tortoise.” 

Hermione rolled her eyes as she and Harry swiftly followed after Ginny, who was effortlessly weaving her way in and out of the crowd. 

“Is it me,” Harry began as they walked towards their designated tent, “Or has Ginny changed a little bit over the summer?”

“It’s definitely just you,” Hermione said while she avoided being ran into by several people, “She’s always been like this.” 

They followed Ginny for the remaining distance to a small looking tent. It was insignificant and dull compared to the other large and colorful tents. But once they stepped inside, it expanded into a great living room that had more than enough space to fit the group of people Hermione was traveling with. 

As everyone else in the tent chattered excitedly, Hermione went to her own isolated corner and sat down. She felt…disconnected from all of them and from herself as well. She knew she should be enjoying these rare moments with people she considered to be her family. 

But she just couldn’t. 

It felt like she was missing something in herself, she hadn’t really felt the same since Jarum stopped writing back to her. She knew it was stupid to derive happiness from letters written by someone was probably going to end up fighting against her once unavoidable war started. But she couldn’t help herself, Jarum made her feel things that no one else did. 

She sighed as she dug into her bag and pulled out the very first letter Jarum had written her. She had read that letter, among the many others that Jarum had sent her, over and over again. Hermione read it more than she read any book in her life. There was something about Jarum’s messy, lazy handwriting that made her happier than the elegant poised words of Jane Austen. 

***

Hermione had never really been all that interested in sporting events. She didn’t like all the head pounding noise that came as a result of sporting events, no matter what it was. She had also witnessed a fair amount of mistreatment of house elves, it was disgusting, the way people seemed to treat house elves like slaves. With that being said, Hermione abhorred the Quidditch World Cup. It was far too loud and she was too high up to even make out half of the action that was occurring on the pitch. The white blinding lights made her feel as if her head were about to split open. 

Needless to say, she needed a fucking break from all the incessant noise that made her cranium hurt. “I’m going to the bathroom,” she muttered to Ron, who clearly wasn’t even paying attention to her, he was too busy staring in awe at Bulgarian seeker. 

Hermione began to make her way down the steep stands and towards wherever the nearest bathroom was. The stadium was still rocking and shaking with all the screaming and stomping that the spectators were doing, and Hermione felt detached from all of it. She made her way through the empty hallways of the stadium. The dim lighting of the corridors provided her with an odd sense of peace, it somehow brought her back down to Earth. 

After a few more minutes of wandering mindlessly, she entered the nearest bathroom, the noise instantly became drowned out against the pristine white walls. As she moved further into the bathroom she realized that she wasn’t alone. A woman was looking into one of the mirrors, reapplying a fresh coat of blood red lipstick and was inspecting her face, as if searching for some sort of flaw. 

As Hermione met the woman’s dark brown eyes in the mirror, she discerned that the woman in front of her was familiar. 

Jaia Crange. 

Jaia continued to stare at her through a clear glass of the mirror, a smirk coming across her face. Hermione had not necessarily been around Jarum’s older sister all that much, but right away she noticed that Jarum and Jaia’s smirks were immensely similar. They both tended to smirk with the right side of their mouths, which caused the layers that hid within the corners of their mouths to become prominent. 

However, Hermione also noticed that there was a glaring difference in how the sisters smirked at her. That small, yet noticeable difference all came down to their eyes. 

When Jarum smirked, her eyes seemed to widen slightly, it made her look less mature and almost hubristic. But when Jaia smirked, her eyes became more hooded and she would stare at her subject through her eyebrows. 

It made her look fucking intimidating. No wonder Hermione had felt so unnerved by Jaia’s presence the first time they had spoken. It’s almost as if the other girl had cursed the air around her that caused all strangers to be automatically wary of her. 

Jarum’s smirk was arrogant. Jaia’s smirk was fucking scary. 

Jaia pulled her lips out of the smirk and turned around to face Hermione, “You stare at me any longer Granger and I’m going to think that you’ve mistaken me for my sister.” 

Hermione bit her cheek at Jaia’s insinuation, “I was not staring at you. And I don’t stare at your sister either.” 

Jaia smiled lightly and the air around her instantly became more open and friendly. Hermione didn’t feel unnerved anymore. No wonder Jaia was considered to be so charming, her attitude clearly affected those who shared the same air as her. 

“Sure you weren’t,” Jaia said while leaning against one of the sinks as she bore her eyes into Hermione. 

That was another thing Hermione noticed about the Crange sisters eyes. Jarum’s eyes were significantly lighter than her older sister’s, they were almost a golden brown color. While, Jaia’s eyes were a very deep and dark brown. 

Hermione swallowed and instantly straightened her posture, “Surprised you don’t have a bodyguard accompanying you to the bathroom,” she said, eager to focus the conversation on something that didn’t involve Jarum. 

Jaia let out a small sound of laughter, “Marcus knows I can handle myself. Besides I doubt anyone around here would have the audacity fuck with me.” 

A beat of silence ensued between them before Jaia spoke again in an amused, almost teasing tone, “You have a cute owl Granger.” 

Hermione’s head flicked up at Jaia’s words and her eyes widened almost comically, “How do you know what my owl looks like?” 

“How do you think?” Jaia responded, “I mean someone has been writing to my sister all summer. And I know it was you, it couldn’t have been anyone else, because Jarum practically refused to write to anyone  _ except _ you.” 

Hermione looked down at the floor, desperate to get away from Jaia’s stare, “Yea well she must have chosen someone else to write to,” she mumbled bitterly, “She hasn’t written back to me since the beginning of this month.” 

Jaia’s eyes hardened angrily, but Hermione could tell that anger wasn’t directed at her, though the atmosphere had become tense once again. “Our mother came back at the beginning of this month. I guess Jarum didn’t want to risk one of your letters being intercepted by her. It’s oddly smart of her if you ask me.”

Hermione smiled fondly to herself, Jaia’s explanation had quelled a multitude of her worries, “She’s a lot smarter than people give her credit for,” she said softly. 

Jaia moved a piece of curly hair that had drifted over to her face, “Granger, I’m only going to ask you this once, and don’t lie, believe me I know when people are lying. And I’m only asking you this because I was not convinced for a single second that you tutored her in Transfiguration,it’s not like my sister to let anyone help her,” Jaia paused letting Hermione take in her words before she asked, “Do you fancy my sister?” 

Sometimes, Hermione would create these false illusions in her head that Jarum secretly wanted her back, she would read much too deeply into every single interaction they had. She would fight the urge to annotate the letters Jarum had written to her because  _ needed _ to know the true meaning behind her words. But it was moments like these where Hermione remembered that Jarum did not want her back and she never will. 

So yes, Hermione did fancy Jarum, she fancied her so much that it almost drove her mad at some points. But she had this fear that she would lose Jarum if she found out the way that she felt about her. Which is why Hermione couldn't bring herself to lie as an answer, because she  _ knew _ Jaia would call her bluff. “Does Jarum fancy me?” Hermione countered Jaia’s question with one of her own. It was meant to take the attention off her feelings, but she hoped Jaia would provide her with an actual answer. She didn’t believe in God, but at that very moment she prayed desperately that Jaia would give her the answer she wanted. 

Jaia was so fucking hard to read, her features remained cool and impassive as she shrugged nonchalantly, “It’s not my business to tell.” 

Dejection entered her system at an alarming rate, she felt so fucking disappointed. Recently she hadn’t been getting the answers she wanted, which was so strange because normally answers would just come to her naturally. But alas, people were much harder subjects to study than schoolwork. 

At Hermione’s refusal to answer, Jaia began to exit the bathroom, her heels echoing off the walls, as usual. Before she exited completely she turned to Hermione, “I thought Gryffindors were supposed to have all these morals that led back to bravery and shit. And yet here you are, too scared to tell me the truth,” Jaia’s words slammed into her so intensely that Hermione almost felt the need to gasp for air, “See you around Granger.” And with that she was gone. 

Hermione stayed in the bathroom several minutes after she left, letting the echoes of their conversation bounce around in her mind harshly. It was always difficult to find the true meaning of what Jaia said whenever Hermione had conversations with her. Her words had so many different layers and different meanings; she was like Shakespeare sonnet. 

As she made her way back to the stands, the stadium shook violently once more as the rambunctious crowd cheered once more, Hermione presumed that the Irish had most likely scored another goal. The game was pretty much pointless, the Irish National Team had been scoring over and over again and there was no way that Bulgaria was going to catch the snitch, and even if they did, they would still lose the match. 

“Where were you? You’ve been missing for thirty minutes and the match is nearly over,” Ginny inquired as Hermione returned to the very top of the stands. 

“I was in the bathroom,” Hermione replied simply. “I told Ron.” 

Ginny looked at her for a moment longer before she turned her attention back on the game, cheering loudly for the home team. Hermione tried to drown out the noise by looking up at the sky, but the stars were overshadowed by the intense lights out the stadium. 

Hermione thought back to her brief conversation with Jaia. She didn’t understand why both of the Crange sisters loved to make her head swim in the depths of confusion. Both sisters were so similar and yet so different at the same time, yet it was as if they both had a common ideology; to always keep their true intentions hidden. And Jaia was a million times better at it than Jarum was. 

Hermione watched as the Bulgarian seeker finally caught the snitch, concluding the match. She forced her feet to carry herself out of the stadium and back to the tent. Her brain was on autopilot as the noise around her barely registered in her ears. It felt like she wasn’t even living in her body. 

As the Weasley twins danced gleefully around the tent, Hermione noticed that screams were erupting from outside and they weren’t screams of joy. She opened up the flap of the and her eyes widened as several tents had become encompassed in a blazing inferno. 

Suddenly Mr. Weasley burst back into the tent, nearly knocking her off her feet, “We’ve gotta get out of here now. Everyone get back to the port key and stick together!”

Hermione grabbed onto Harry and Ron’s arms and rushed out the tent. She got a full, unprotected view of her surroundings as she paused before running back to the port key. It was madness. Everything was on fire and the bright orange of the blaze cast an ominous glow onto every single surface.The suffocating smoke was thick in the night air as Hermione struggled to breathe. 

She looked to the left of her to see if Harry and Ron were still her, but they must’ve gotten separated because they were no longer right beside her. She was alone in the terrifying chaos. People were frantically bumping into her as they tried to scramble away to safety. 

Suddenly a hand grabbed her bicep roughly and pulled her into their body. The familiar scent of a specific brand of cigarettes invaded her senses and she looked up at that mischievous face that held that damn movie star smile on her features. 

“Hey Granger,” Jarum said while pulling Hermione closer to her, and out of the way of the sea of people that was rushing past them like a tsunami, “You miss me?”

Hermione’s breath caught in her throat as she looked at Jarum for the first time in months. Her shorter hair curled around her shoulders, framing that beautiful, goddess-like face imperfectly. Her eye bags were more prominent but they were eclipsed by those shining brown eyes that shimmered in the fire light. 

“How did you get here?” Hermione asked as soon so she could form a coherent thought. 

Jarum looked at her, slightly confused by the question, “Um I used a port key, like everyone else.” 

Hermione sighed heavily, “No I mean how did you find me here?” 

“The first explosion happened right outside my tent, bloody thing almost caught on fire. I ran outside in one direction and I guess everyone else ran in the other. I saw the back of your bushy head and I figured that I should help you before you got trampled to death,” Jarum explained while looking around at their surroundings. The other girl had grown significantly taller over the summer, she was now several inches taller than Hermione and could easily look over the top of her head. 

Hermione scoffed, “Charming as ever.”

As another eruption of fire happened several yards away from them, Jarum pulled Hermione even closer to her by wrapping a long arm around her waist. At that moment, Jarum stared at her deeply. Her eyes penetrated into the deepest parts of Hermione’s soul, parts she didn’t even know existed. Hermione wanted to lean forward the remaining inches and connect their lips, but the world around them was quite literally burning to the ground. 

“Hey you two!” A voice shouted, grabbing their attention, it was Jaia. She approached them with a slight limp and Hermione noticed that the heels on her expensive shoes were broken off. 

“What happened to your shoes?” Jarum asked as Jaia entered their vicinity. 

“Never mind what happened to my shoes,” Jaia spat out angrily before sighing heavily as she addressed Jarum, “You need to get Granger back to whereever the fuck her port key is, it’s not safe for her here. And then meet me back in this exact spot. Don't let anyone see either of your faces, do you understand?” 

Hermione grabbed Jarum’s hand, ignoring the internal fire that burned brighter than the inferno that was spreading around them. Jaia looked down at their connected hands, then back at Hermione, “Look after my sister Granger.” As usual, her words had several different meanings. 

She looked over at Jarum who was staring down at their hands, she then looked at Jaia, “Of course.” 

Jarum’s eyes widened as sinister figures in hoods began to stalk around the campsite menacingly, “Hermione we need to go,” she said while beginning to pull her away from the ensuing madness. 

She and Jarum had made it only several hundred feet before Hermione dug her heels sharply into the ground, signaling that she wanted to stop. Jarum turned to her, her eyes reflected the bright orange of the fire, “Granger we need to go, you heard what Jaia said.” 

Hermione shook her head, “No, I need to find Harry.” 

Jarum sighed in irritation,“Okay I’ll go with you to find him.” 

Hermione shook her head again and Jarum clenched her jaw angrily, “You can’t go with me.” 

“Well I’m not just leaving you by yourself,” Jarum stated firmly while readjusting her grip on Hermione’s hand. 

Jarum’s face was getting harder and harder to see, smoke was wrapping their surroundings in a thick, uncomfortable blanket. “You need to get back to Jaia before someone sees you with me, we both know I can take care of myself.” 

Jarum opened her mouth to respond but it was cut off by a green symbol irradiating the smoke covered sky. A skull roared loudly out at them and it made her heart clench in fear. This whole ordeal just became personal. Hermione felt Jarum go rigid next to her, “Jarum, that’s the Death Eater symbol, isn’t it?” 

Jarum couldn’t take her eyes off the sky, it was common for the other girl to be entranced by whatever celestial bodies happened to light up the night sky. But this was different. “Yes. More commonly known as the Dark Mark,” she answered quietly. 

An awful, unrealistic thought creeped into Hermione’s head at that moment, the thought told her that maybe Jarum wasn’t as clueless about this situation as she seemed. She turned to Jarum, who was still staring at the mark in the sky stiffly, “Did you know about this?”

Jarum looked offended at the accusation, “Do you trust me Granger?” she whispered softly into the night air. 

“Yes,” Hermione responded without hesitation. 

Jarum turned to face her completely and for the first time in her life, Hermione felt stupid. It was idiotic of her to even think that Jarum had anything to do with this, “Then trust me when I say that I had no fucking idea that this was going to happen. I -” Jarum paused as she looked at Hermione’s eyes, holding her gaze, “I wouldn’t put you in danger like that.” 

Hermione broke their gaze and looked down at the ground, “I know you wouldn’t,” she muttered softly. 

Jarum reached a long finger under Hermione’s jaw and tilted her chin upwards, so that their eyes were locked once again. Jarum was a dark cratered moon, with millions of imperfections, that somehow controlled the tides of Hermione’s mind. Jarum scanned her face, “Go find Potter, I’ll see you at school Granger.” 

Hermione nodded, allowing herself to pretend for a moment, “Promise me that you won’t feel guilty about all of this happening.’

Jarum wet her lips, and Hermione knew she was lying, “I promise Granger.”

As she searched the premises for Harry, Hermione wondered if her perception of Hell was real, because of the way it had rained upon the Earth from the skies. 

***

Jarum ripped apart yet another newspaper in her hands as she walked in the dirty streets of Diagon Alley. It must’ve been the fifth newspaper that she had seen that day about the unfortunate events that took place at the Quidditch World Cup. Every single headline seemed to scream at her mockingly ‘Death Eaters Attack at the Quidditch World Cup!’ It drove her insane, especially since she knew her mother helped plan out the whole thing. And it led to guilt plaguing her mind. People had gotten hurt because of her mother. 

Jarum felt fucking stupid for not figruing it out sooner. All of the former Death Eaters coming in and out of her house was a clue that screamed at her seemingly deaf ears. 

Jaia watched her rip the newspaper as she exhaled cigarette smoke from her lips, “If you rip another newspaper and I’m going to think that you’ve found an affinity for littering.” 

Jarum turned to Jaia, “Did you know about it? There’s no fucking way you didn’t. You sat in on at least half of those fucking meetings,” she accused. It made sense that Jaia would at least have some knowledge of what was about to happen at the World Cup. The possibility that her sister was completely clueless, was miniscule. 

Jaia flicked her cigarette butt and stopped walking, “You honestly think I had anything to do with? I mean, I know I’m a bitch and all but I wouldn’t willingly put that many people in danger,” she whispered harshly against the cool late summer breeze. “Honestly, did you not see how my favorite pair of fucking heels broke? You think I would have gone to an event where I knew my heels were going to break off?” 

Jaia had a point, she was cruel, but she wasn’t  _ that _ cruel. “So it was all mother then?” 

“Of course it was. We both know that she would do anything to ensure Voldemort’s return. And I have no fucking idea why.” 

Jarum realized that Jaia was right, Jilda Crange would stop at nothing to eradicate every single muggle born witch or wizard. Jarum didn’t understand why her mother was so dedicated to this hateful cause, she already had everything she wanted. Plus Jarum did not really understand blood prejudice, it was pointless really, especially when there were muggle borns like Hermione Granger. 

But then again, Hermione Granger in herself was a rarity. 

Jarum and Jaia walked into Flourish and Botts, Jarum returned to Hogwarts in two days and she desperately needed new books for her classes, though she highly doubted she would even use them, she would just copy off Draco again. She looked over at Jaia, who had extracted yet another cigarette from her expensive leather purse, “For Merlin’s sake Jaia, are you even allowed to smoke in here?” 

Her sister waved her hand dismissively, “I highly doubt they would kick me out. Everyone is scared of Slytherin purebloods now, they think all of us are Death Eaters.” 

Jarum rolled her eyes at Jaia’s observation of the harsh generalization, “You're just being dramatic.” 

As Jarum began searching for her books, they were approached by an eccentric looking blonde woman who seemed eager to talk to both of them. She stuck her hand out, expecting for one of them to shake it, “Rita Skeeter,” she said, “Correspondent for the Daily Prophet. You two must be Jaia and Jarum Crange, sisters who both happen to be it girls in their separate tenures at Hogwarts.” 

Both of them stared at her hand, refusing to shake it, the woman quickly withdrew her outstretched hand and adjusted the pointed glasses that sat on the edge of her nose. Jaia flicked her cigarette butt towards the woman and grunted in disappointment as the ashes missed her narrowly, “What do you want? And I wouldn’t really consider my younger sister to be an ‘it girl’ she’s only been there for one year.” 

Jarum glanced around at the small crowd that had gathered around all of them. She noticed that they were looking at her apprehensively, as if she were some sort of monster. Maybe jaia hadn’t been exaggerating when she said that people were afraid of Slytherin purebloods. 

Rita Skeeter smiled at them fakely, “I’m just trying to do my job and gain more information about the pair of sisters who are rapidly becoming more known in the Wizarding World.” 

Jarum bit her cheek, the taste of her own blood slightly contained her irritation,“Sorry but neither of us have time for this.” 

Rita Skeeter focused her attention from Jaia and onto Jarum, “Ahh yes, Jarum Jaida Crange. In the flesh. You know it amazes me how you can be so physically flawed and yet still manage to hold yourself in such a high regard.” 

Jarum felt insecurity stab at her in the chest. It seemed no matter what she did or where she went, someone would always find a way to dig and claw their way into her head and make her think about how fucked up and flawed she was. It made her feel so fucking ugly. And it made her come to the conclusion that no one gave a shit about her feelings. 

However, her feelings of insecurity were soon replaced by anger, the feeling consumed every single cell in her body. It was something that she hadn’t felt in a very long time. For once, Jarum welcomed the feeling as she began to advance upon Rita Skeeter, “The fuck did you just say to me.” 

Jaia stuck an arm out to prevent Jarum from moving any further, “Let’s play nice now Jarum. Though I would love nothing more than to watch you beat the ever living shit out of this nosy bitch, it wouldn’t look good for either of us, there’s already an audience right now. Go wait outside and I’ll handle this,” Jaia whispered to her. 

A deep set scowl etched across Jarum’s features, but she relented and exited the shop, shoving people out the way as she did so. She leaned against a wall in one of the many alleys that separated the shops. She just wished that something – anything could go right in her life for once. 

She wished things with Hermione would go the way she wanted them to. But she knew deep down that it wouldn’t work between the two of them, because nothing in Jarum’s life went the way she wanted it to. And it made her want to cry, even though she never really allowed herself to cry. She liked Hermione so fucking much and she couldn’t do a damn thing about it. 

Jarum didn’t know what it was about Hermione that made her feel like this. Was it her unruly hair, or her stupid sense of humor? Or maybe it was the way Hermione made her forget everything that was fucked up and wrong with the world. Maybe it was her eyes. Whatever it was, it left a real and bittersweet ache in Jarum’s heart. Hermione Granger would never be more than a friend to her, and Jarum knew it was just another obstacle she would have to hurdle over. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading!


	19. Involuntary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jarum's first day back at Hogwarts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I worked very hard on this chapter and I'm still not 100% satisfied with it but I hope you guys enjoy it, it's longer than at the average chapter at nearly 6000 words. In the books, the other schools don’t show up until a few months into the school year, so a few things will happen before the other schools arrive. Also thank you guys for over 2000 reads, it's much appreciated!

Jarum didn’t consider herself to be addicted to anything, mostly because she never had the luxury of getting attached to a pleasurable item. She should’ve considered it a saving grace, that she didn’t have to be dependent on a shallow material, ideology, or drug. But as Jarum tapped rhythmically on the mahogany table in the Great Hall, her fingers twitched for a cigarette as she met Hermione’s eyes from meters away, she realized that maybe she had allowed herself to become addicted to something. And that something, definitely wasn’t cigarettes. 

Jarum would choose Hermione over cigarettes every single time. Because truthfully, Jarum could quit smoking whenever she wanted to. But she could not quit Hermione Granger. 

The heavy rain pattered violently against the roof of the Great Hall as Dumbledore began his welcoming speech, it nearly drowned out his words, “Welcome back students, I hope this year you all will exceed expectations and continue to improve upon yourselves. Now I do have a few announcements.” Jarum began to focus her hearing on the sound of that rain that seemed to get louder and louder with every passing second. She tuned out most of what Dumbledore was saying, she didn’t really care for the words of her Headmaster. 

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up as a man entered the room from behind where Dumbledore was speaking, like an unwanted shadow.There was something peculiar about him that compelled Jarum’s eyes to involuntarily stick to him. The longer Jarum studied him, the more unsettled she became. An uneasy feeling sat in her stomach, and right away she knew that this feeling would not be digested for months to come. He had a glass eye that wobbled around unsteadily in it’s socket, but that wasn’t what perturbed her. Every now and then his tongue would stick out to swipe the corner of his mouth almost as if it were some sort of tic or habit. It wasn’t an unusual gesture by any means. But it just made the more logical part of her brain warn her that there was something unusual about this man. 

She forced her eyes off of him and like a moth drawn to a flame that would inevitably lead to their demise, her eyes found Hermione’s once again. She had looked into her eyes countless amounts of times, and each time Jarum looked into those expressive coffee colored eyes, it felt like the very first time. Hermione’s eyes were like these works of art that took an infinite amount of time to be handcrafted perfectly by the universe itself. 

Draco nudged her shoulder to get her attention, “Why are you looking at the Gryffindor table like that Jarum?” 

Jarum eyes reluctantly shifted from Hermione to Draco as she regarded him nervously, “I wasn’t looking at the Gryffindor table, you need to get your eyesight checked,” she muttered indignantly. 

Draco scoffed, “Oh really? Because I just find it funny that after the mudblood punched me in the face you said you would ‘take care of it’ and yet you never told me how that went.” 

Jarum stiffened at Draco’s use of the slur, her whole body went rigid with poorly consumed anger. It stung a little bit to be reminded of how most purebloods, people whom she shared the same blood status with, thought of people like Hermione. Blood supremacy didn’t make any sense, because at the end of the day, everyone bled crimson. Jarum turned to him and spoke through gritted teeth, “You know what's also funny, Draco? The fact that your eyes constantly seem to look for Potter in a room, even when he isn't there.” 

Draco’s gaze locked on her angrily and she stared right back with the same intensity. It became of a game of chicken, each one was challenging the other to see who would relent and look away first. And after a few long moments of burning holes into each other’s eyes, Draco sighed heavily and looked down at his reflection in the wood of the table. 

He looked over at Dumbledore, who was still rambling nonsensically and then he looked back at her, his expression was considerably less intense. “Come smoke with me real quick,” he said while gesturing his head towards the grand exit doors of the Great Hall. “I highly doubt this senile old moron is going to finish his speech anytime soon.” 

Jarum fixated her gaze back on to Hermione, who was hanging onto every single word Dumbledore uttered, as if he were some sort of god to her. Jarum found it weird that everyone seemed to worship mortal men as if they were gods; purebloods worshipped Voldenmort and muggle-borns worshipped Dumbleodre. She looked back at Draco and shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t see why not.” 

The two of them got up from the table, ignoring the curious glances they received from other students and quietly made their way out of the Great Hall and into the winding corridors of Hogwarts. 

They both settled for a quiet hallway close to the Potions classroom. Jarum looked at an unimpressive speck on the wall as Draco fished out a cigarette from one of his robe pockets. Something between them was different, it was as if they were both harboring secrets from each other. Or maybe it was the awkward silence between them that was so deafening it hurt Jarum’s ears. Draco lit the cigarette and passed it to her, it’s fire was nothing compared to the chill that ran constantly in her bones. 

Draco filled the silence by speaking softly, “Something is different with us, we aren’t the same as we used to be.” At least she wasn’t the only one who had noticed that the energy between them had shifted into something ugly over the past few months. 

Jarum exhaled to the smoke through her nose, enjoying the extra burn it provided in her sinuses, “Maybe it’s because we’ve been hiding things from each other.”

Draco walked closer to her, “Okay so then tell me what you’ve been hiding and I’ll tell you what I've been hiding.” 

Jarum smiled somberly at him, she wished she could tell him everything. He was her best friend after all and he was one of the only people in the fucked up, hideous world who she could trust. Maybe one day she would be able to bare her soul to him like she had with Hermione. But alas, Draco wasn’t the type of person Hermione was. Draco was the type of person who tried so desperately to see past her scars, as if he were avoiding them and refused to acknowledge that they were a part of her; almost like he was reluctant to believe that someone so close to him was deeply flawed. 

Meanwhile Hermione saw all of her, with all of her scars, physical and emotional, she knew they were there and she didn’t care. She didn’t care that Jarum was flawed like most people in her life did. And because of that, because of the differences between Draco and Hermione, she knew that he would never truly understand her, not like Hermione did, no matter how hard he tried. 

Jarum lifted the cigarette back in her mouth and looked down at the granite floors as she strained her ears to listen for the sounds of the pouring rain, which had become scarce, “Why don’t you tell me what you’ve been hiding, since you’re the one who brought it up.” 

Draco’s Adam’s apple bobbed within his throat as he gestured for her to pass the cigarette back to him. Once he held it between his lithe fingers, he spoke in a hushed tone, as if he were afraid of anyone else overhearing him, “I don’t think Potter is, you know, hideous. I don’t think I ever did. That’s why my eyes always look for him in a crowded room.” 

Jarum stepped closer to him and leaned her forehead onto his chest, she always had a hunch that Draco harbored some type of feelings for Harry. She sighed heavily as he twisted one of her curls around his fingers, Jarum didn’t think it was possible to be so physically close to someone,yet so emotionally far away from them,but here she was, proving herself wrong. “I feel the same way about Granger. She’s not entirely ugly and I don’t know, I just feel as if my eyes are always drawn to her, like a magnet, you know?”

Jarum felt so much more than a simple attraction. She didn’t talk about the sleepless nights she spent thinking constantly about Hermione, or the countless hours they spent on the Astronomy Tower together, or the letters over the summer that set something in her alight. She wouldn’t tell him what she truly felt for Hermione, just like he wouldn’t tell her what he truly felt for Harry. Some things just felt too intimate and personal to share with another human. So there they were, stuck. They were at an impasse with each other, neither one of them would budge, not now and maybe not ever. 

She could feel the bitter laughter bubbling in Draco’s chest with her forehead, “Well look at us, we’re just two peas in a pod aren’t we? Just two self destructive Slytherins who unfortunately find the two Gryffindors with the biggest savior complexes attractive. Who would’ve thought?”

Jarum leaned back and smiled up at him, “Well to be truthful both of them are moronic prats. We just think they’re attractive. Nothing more, nothing less. Right?”

Draco nodded and at that moment, Jarum could tell both of them were lying to each other. “Right, nothing more, nothing less.” 

***

Something deep within the darkest corners of Jarum’s soul was haunting her. It felt as if some unknown force of hereditary darkness was begging to be unleashed from within her. Jarum didn’t think any part of her soul could get darker than it already waas, but apparently even darkness has shadows. It caused her to be locked in a restless slumber, which was out of character for her because normally she fell victim to the clutches of insomnia. 

She woke up with cold sweat collecting on the back of her neck. Her chest was heaven up and down as a mass of curly hair fell over her eyes. She moved her hair out the way and it took her eyes a few seconds to adjust the dim lighting of her dorm room. When her eyes did adjust, she saw Daphne and Pansy hurriedly getting ready. 

She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, “Bloody hell you guys are up early.” 

Pansy looked back at her as she tied her tie, “Actually we woke up late, breakfast starts in five minutes. So you should get going too.” 

Jarum stumbled out of bed as she searched her trunk frantically for clean school clothes, “And neither one of you thought it was a good idea to wake me up,” she spat out bitterly.

Daphne rolled her eyes, “Will you calm down? You looked so peaceful sleeping and we didn’t want to wake you.” 

Jarum was seconds away from starting an argument but she decided against it. An argument would right now would take so much energy out of her, energy that she simply didn’t have. So she bit the inside of her cheek and continued searching for her clothes. A few minutes later, Daphne and Pansy left their shared dorm, both of them sparing Jarum an extra glance as they walked past her changing. 

“Fucking cunts,” Jarum muttered to herself as soon as the door was closed. 

Her sighed echoed against the empty walls of her dorm as she focused her attention into getting ready in an orderly manner. Jarum was on autopilot as she threw on her clothes, she had done this routine hundreds of times. She decided to forego the grey sweater vest and left her robe unbuttoned as she threw it on lazily over the rest of her clothes, the Slytherin crest rested over her heartbeat. She also decided it was pointless to tie her tie so she just slung it carelessly around her neck. 

Jarum grabbed a pack of cigarettes and placed one gingerly in her mouth as she left the Slytherin common room. She figured that she wouldn’t have enough time to make it up to the Great Hall for breakfast, so she hoped that the burnt taste of cigarettes would be filling enough. 

She walked along the secluded hallways of Hogwarts as she lit the cigarette with a lighter that she has once again stolen. Something about the cigarette just made it taste better if the lighter she lit it with was stolen. As the smoke entered her lungs, Jarum wondered if the hollow feeling of loneliness that she felt now would stick with her. She tried so hard to be popular and loved, and yet she always felt lonely, even when she was with her peers. 

Her barrier of loneliness was broken by the sound of footsteps approaching her in the desolate corridor. An involuntary grin expanded across her mouth as she saw Hermione walking closer to her with a clipboard under her arm and a napkin in her other hand. 

Hermione frowned as she drew closer to her, “Why are you smoking this early in the morning?” She questioned as she plucked the cigarette out of Jarum’s mouth. 

Jarum had noticed that Hermione no longer coughed whenever she smelled cigarette smoke she almost seemed to tolerate it, just for Jarum. 

Jarum sighed heavily as she watched the burning cigarette become crushed under Hermione’s foot, “I was having that for breakfast.” 

Hermione’s frown deepened and Jarum felt endeared by the expression. “Here,” she said, handing Jarum the napkin which contained a piece of toast. When Jarum raised an eyebrow at her, Hermione shrugged her shoulders, “I didn’t see you at breakfast, so I figured you must’ve slept in. Which is rare, I suppose you slept well then?”

Jarum took a bite of the toast, deciding that she didn’t want to divulge Hermione with the dark, haunting feelings that she felt constrained within her. “Oh yea Granger, I slept _fantastic._ I dreamt of sunshines and rainbows –“ 

Hermione cut her off, “Okay, I get it, you didn’t sleep well. That would explain why you look so…unruly, here let me help.” 

Hermione placed her clipboard down on the floor and stepped closer to her. And like always, Jarum became conscious of every single inch between them. Her heartbeat was begging to be let go from its confines as it beat erratically in her chest. 

Hermione’s hands came up to her neck and she began to expertly tie her tie. But she didn’t notice the way Hermione’s fingers fumbled several times, despite the fact that she had tied hundreds of ties. All Jarum cared about was the fact that Hermione’s forehead was mere centimeters away from her lips. 

Acting on pure impulse and the high that being this close to Hermione gave her, Jarum pressed her lips softly against her forehead. As soon as her lips pressed upon her skin, Jarum felt the haunting feel slip away, as if Hermione’s touch brought light within her soul. 

“Thank you,” she mumbled softly against her forehead, desperate to hide the vulnerability in her voice. 

Hermione leaned back slightly and looked up at her, the other’s girl’s eyes were slightly widened as Jarum breathed cool air on her forehead. Jarum _hated_ this, she hated how she had to settle for being Hermione’s friend. How she had to settle for forehead kisses instead of mouth kisses. And she hated every inch that was separating them. It felt as though they were miles apart. 

Hermione looked flustered as she stepped away from Jarum, which made the ominous feeling return to her the dismal corners of her soul. She cleared her throat, “There’s another way you can thank me,” Hermione said whilst reaching down for the clipboard that she had previously placed on the floor. 

Jarum read the words on the top of the clipboard that Hermione handed to her, “The fuck is spew?” 

Hermione rolled her eyes, “It’s S.P.E.W. It stands for Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare. It’s a club I’m starting that will fight for the equal rights of house elves.” 

Jarum raised an eyebrow disbelievingly, “Really?” 

Hermione shoved her shoulder playfully, “Yes really. Look it’d be beneficial for the club if you signed up.” 

Jarum peaked the sign up list, mockingly grimacing as she did so, “Yea, I don’t know Granger. Most of these girls who have signed up hate me.” 

Hermione took the clipboard from her and scanned the signup sheet, “I don’t think Angelina Johnson hates you,” she offered weakly. 

“I knocked the shit out of her in the quidditch championship last year, she’s definitely not my biggest fan” Jarum countered quickly. 

“Luna Lovegood doesn’t hate you, she doesn’t hate anyone,” Hermione argued back. The other girl seemed dead set into getting Jarum to sign up. 

“Who the fuck is Luna Lovegood? If I don’t know them, then they still count as someone who hates me.” 

“Fine!” Hermione sighed frustratingly. She looked everywhere but Jarum, almost as if she were hesitant to say her next words, “I don’t hate you. Is that enough to make you sign up?” 

Jarum grabbed the clipboard from Hermione and smiled so hard that it showed the full depthy of the dimples in her cheeks. A rush of excitement flowed through her as she began to sign her name messily under Ginny Weasley’s. “Believe me Granger, it’s more than enough.”

***

After the incident, Jarum did not have a firm grip on the memoires that contained the rest of her childhood. However, there was one particular moment that stuck out to her. When she was nine, her mother had pulled her and Jaia into a small, dark room located deep within the structure of her family’s manor. Her mother’s face had been illuminated by the nearby candlelight and in that moment, a nine year old, naive Jarum didn’t think her mother was scary, she had thought she looked like a genuine, concerned mother in that lighting. 

“Girls,” her mother had whispered, her words pushed against the quietness of the room, “Nothing matters more than the people in this room, we are all family, and blood is _always_ thicker than water.” 

Two months after her mother had spoken those words to Jarum and Jaia, she murdered their father, and to this day, Jarum had no fucking idea why. Looking back, Jarum figured that their mother most likely premeditated the murder months in advance and was simply manipulating Jarum and Jaia’s impressionable minds. 

But her mother’s words had stuck with her, especially when it came to Jaia. It’s why Jarum was currently burning lasers into Sterling Brooks’ head as he stood in the front of the Charms classroom. 

Jarum didn’t exactly know every detail of what happened between the two of them, mostly because Jaia couldn’t remember or recall specific events. But that didn’t stop her from feeling a simmering hatred for the man simply because she knew that he had hurt her sister. Plus he seemed to think that she was a carbon copy of Jaia because his eyes hadn’t left her face ever since the class started. 

Jarum crossed her arms over her chest and sank lower into her seat, “I still can’t believe Flitwick was stupid enough to make him a fucking teachers assistant,” she muttered to Draco who was too busy staring at Brooks with a flustered expression. 

Jarum rolled her eyes so aggressively she feared they might fall out of her head, “Oh for Merlin’s sake Draco,” she whispered while smacking his arm to get his undivided attention, “don’t tell me you find him attractive, I mean out all people.” 

Draco breathed out a sigh of irritation, “You know I don’t understand why you hate him so much. Even if you’re a lesbian you have to admit that he is handsome.” 

Besides Marcus, Jarum was the only one who knew the history between Brooks and her sister. It wasn’t common knowledge at all, in fact if word spread about her sister being entangled with some muggle boy, things would go downhill very fast in ways that Jarum didn’t even want to think about. 

“Well for starters he's shit at quidditch.” 

“That’s an opinion not a fact,” Draco defended. 

“Believe me it’s a fact,” Jarum rebutted. 

Draco glared at her and opened his mouth to respond, but he closed it quickly as a tall, dark shadow loomed over them. Brooks had made his way over to their shared desk and leaned over them, as if he were trying to assert this weird sense of power over them. He smiled down at them and his glistening white grin reminded Jarum of a predator, like he was a wolf. 

“The two of you must be having an interesting conversation if you think it’s okay to talk while Professor Flitwick is teaching,” he said in a low and quiet voice. Jarum knew that his words had hidden meanings, he was just smart enough to phrase his true intentions in a way that seemed non threatening. 

Jarum stuck her chin out defiantly and looked up at him, “Wouldn't you like to know?” 

Jarum could tell that his eyes were focused heavily on the side of her face that wasn’t marked by her scar. And Jarum knew why, he was desperately trying to find the physical parts of her that resembled Jaia. Unfortunately for him, she and her sister had a lot more differences than similarities. 

He leaned closer to her, his hands splayed out onto her desk. He was attempting to intimidate her, but Jarum wasn’t afraid of him. The hatred and anger coursing through her wouldn’t let her feel any other emotion. 

“You know Miss Crange, I will be keeping a closer eye on you this year, I heard you have a certain knack for trouble,” he said through gritted teeth. 

It seemed as Draco had long forgotten his attraction to Brooks because he scooted his chair closer to Jarum’s and very obviously took his wand out of his pocket in an nonverbal display of protectiveness. Even though things between them were iffy, Jarum knew that he had her back, no matter what the circumstances were. 

Jarum smirked wryly, “I can think of a few other reasons as to why you want to keep a close eye on me.” 

Brooks looked taken aback by her statement and put several inches of space between the two of them. Both of them knew that Jarum was referring to his unyielding obsession with her sister. And both of them knew that Jarum had gained the upper hand in this situation. He angrily locked his jaw and even though so many people found him attractive, Jarum thought he was the ugliest person on the planet. 

“I’ve got my eye on you Crange,” he said while beginning to turn his back to her. 

“I bet you do,” Jarum uttered loud enough for him to hear, she watched as his back muscles stiffened before he continued to walk back to the front of the class. 

As Jarum leaned back in her chair, Draco looked at her incredulously, “You want to tell me what that’s about?” he questioned while shoving his wand back into his pocket. 

Jarum fingers itched towards the pack of cigarettes in her pocket and she exhaled heavily, “Look it’s really fucking complicated and it’s not my business to tell, so just write to Jaia or Marcus and maybe they’ll tell you what happened.” 

Draco nodded and Jarum’s eyes went back to the front of the classroom. Jarum wasn’t fond of people telling her what to do, but as she stared at the back of Brooks’ annoyingly perfect combed back blonde hair, she realized that if Jaia told her to kill him, she’d do it. Without hesitation, regardless of the consequences. For Jaia was her blood, and as her mother said, blood is always thicker than water. 

***

“Oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Jarum muttered as she and Draco stepped into their penultimate class of the day. The man who had left an undigested pit of perturbation in the bottom of her stomach was standing in the very front of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. Life just loved fucking with her. 

As soon as they fully entered the classroom, seeing as how they were the last ones to arrive, the man began speaking, “Alastor Moody, ex auror and your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I’m here because Dumbledore asked me to be, end of story. Any questions?”

At the classroom's silence the man started the pace leisurely around the class, every time he came too close to Jarum, the haunting feeling that she woke up with would dig deeper into her soul and unpleasant, sickening chills ran throughout her body. As he wandered around the room, he spoke once more, “Due to a multitude of reported behavioral issues from last year, I will be choosing your seats and partners for you.” He paused to look directly at Jarum and his tongue poked out of his mouth and swiped at his upper lip, Jarum nearly felt the bile rise in her throat at the action. 

“When I call you and your partner’s name, find a desk, sit down and be quiet.” Moody began to call out last names, his gruff voice echoed heavily against the walls of Jarum’s skull. 

“Parkinson and Thomas.”

“Finnigan and Zabini.”

“Granger and Greengrass.” Jarum’s head picked up at the sound of Hermione’s last name. She knew that she couldn’t exactly look directly at Hermione like she wanted to because Daphne was watching her closely and carefully, as if she were expecting some sort of reaction. But then again, Daphne always watched her a little too closely. Jarum kept her facial features neutral as Hermione and Daphne walked past her. 

Moody continued, “Goyle and Patil.”

“Crabbe and Patil.”

“Malfoy and Potter.”

Jarum had difficulty stifling her laughter as Draco’s face paled in nervousness. It was rare that Draco Malfoy was ever at a loss for words, and right now he was completely and utterly speechless. 

Jarum leaned over to him taunted in his ear before he walked to his shared desk with Harry, “Try not to get a hard on.”

Draco scowled at her and discreetly smacked her on the back of her head. Jarum nearly retaliated but she heard her name called. 

“Crange and Weasley.”

Jarum let out a small groan as she shuffled reluctantly to her shared desk with Ron Weasley, of all fucking people. Unfortunately, the only open desk was right in the front of the room, just several feet away from the large blackboard, her day could literally not get any worse. Jarum slumped into the outside seat of the desk, facing the aisle, while Ron took the inside seat, facing the wall. 

However as she looked to her left, she realized that Hermione was seated horizontally across the aisle from her and only about five feet of empty, uncovered space was between them. Jarum smiled to herself, maybe being this close to Hermione everyday for a whole school year would cancel out the negative way she felt about Ron. 

“Just so you know,” Ron said lowly while leaning over to her, interrupting her short lived good mood, “I’m not thrilled about this whole arrangement either.”

Without missing a beat, Jarum countered, “Really? And here I was thinking that you and I were the best of friends.”

Ron rolled his eyes and mumbled something under his breath before slumping down in his chair, much like how Jarum was sitting. Moody hobbled his way towards the front of the room and turned his back as he took a sip of out of a large flask that kept on his belt. Jarum liked alcohol as much as the next person, but she would never let it turn her into a person like Moody, who clearly looked dependent on it. Alcohol seemed to take the strongest of people and shatter them into empty pieces, which is part of why she loved it, but it was also why she drank it in moderation. She didn’t want to be shattered any further than she already had been. 

She was broken out of her deep thoughts by Moody hobbling up slowly to her desk, “You must be Jarum Crange. I am _very_ familiar with your mother and your father. Jilda and Bradford Crange, two of the most infamous death eaters of their time. Since they both used several Unforgivable Curses, why don’t you name one of them for me?”

Jarum knew of the Unforgivable Curses, Jaia had taught her all about them one day, and it genuinely scared the shit out of her. It gave her night terrors and it was even worse knowing that her own parents had used them mercilessly on countless people. 

Jarum looked away ashamed, before answering, “The Imperius curse is one of them, it’s main purpose is to control the actions of another. Kind of like you’re possessing them.”

Moody smiled at her sinisterly, and it was odd, it almost looked like his smile didn’t belong on his face. “It’s funny that the Imperius curse is the one you chose to name Miss Crange. But yes, this curse is very unforgiavble, and I’ll show you why.”

He removed a spider from a small jar and Jarum heard Ron whimper slightly next to her. As he began to use the curse to control the spider’s actions, Jarum felt zoned out, like she wasn’t in her own body. She felt robotic almost, like she was just an unused vessel waiting for instructions. It felt like she was a mere spectator to her body’s actions. However, as soon as Moody lifted the curse, Jarum felt the feeling dissipate significantly. 

When Moody moved onto Neville Longbottom to ask about the Cruciatus curse, Hermione leaned across the aisle, “Are you okay,” she whispered whilst making sure that Daphne wasn’t paying attention to either of them. 

Jarum leaned across the aisle as well so that she was able to communicate with her easier, “Of course I’m okay, I think I just zoned out for a little bit.”

“Are you sure? Because you were breathing really heavily and your eyes looked a lot darker than they normally do. They looked almost clouded over.”

Jarum felt confused as to why her eyes would become a darker hue if she just simply zoned out. Maybe it had to with the feeling she’d had in her since she woke up that morning. “I don’t know then. I think I should write to my sister and ask her what it means, she’ll know, she always does.”

Hermione nodded and the two of them simultaneously leaned away from each other. Hermione turned around and saw a look of anguish on Longbottom’s face, Moody was torturing the spider harshly with the second Unforgivable Curse. “Stop it! Can't you see it’s bothering him?!” 

Moody then turned aggressively from the frightened boy to Hermione. Ron ran his hands down his face nervously, “She just had to open her mouth didn’t she?”

For once Jarum actually agreed with him. This professor was anything but ordinary, it seemed as if his soul were wicked and vile. The feeling of unsettlement she felt whenever he was around her was the same feeling that her mother gave her. It was really fucking weird. 

“Perhaps you can give me the last unforgivable curse Miss Granger, I know you know it.”

Hermione shook her head defiantly and he cast a spell, effectively killing the spider. “The killing curse, only one person is known to have survived it and he’s sitting in this room.”

Jarum turned her head as he walked down the aisles towards where Draco and Harry were seated. Jarum turned back in her seat and looked down at her hands, that were twitching involuntarily, but she wasn’t craving a cigarette. 

***

“You know I’m pretty sure that smoking in the owlery isn’t beneficial for the owls in the slightest,” Jarum whipped her head around as she heard Hermione’s voice from behind her. 

It was late at night, past curfew, and Jarum couldn’t sleep, restlessness was once against choking her in its hands. So she had climbed out of her bed messily scribbled out the events that had happened in Defense Against the Dark Arts class that day and she had walked up the owlery so that she could send her letter out to her sister. 

She leaned against the stone walls and looked out the windows that had no glass in them, her cigarette smoke billowing everywhere due to the light breeze that swept in and out of the room. “I’m starting to think that lecturing me about my smoking habits is the highlight of your day Granger,” she said while flicking the ashed butt out the window. 

The sides of Hermione’s mouth quirked up as she leaned against the stone wall directly across from Jarum. “I’m just trying to look out for your health.” 

Jarum smirked, “Sure you are Granger.” 

Hermione’s features made the gaudy, silvery moonlight look plain. She was more beautiful than any moon or star that shone in the sky. 

Hermione looked down at her hands, “I assume that’s for Jaia?” she asked while gesturing to the envelope that Jarum was fidgeting with. 

“Yea, I guess I should send it to her,” Jarum said awkwardly. She didn’t want to take her eyes off Hermione, for she feared that she would never get to see the glimmering moon cast its light on her face like this again, because the moon never shone the same hue twice. 

Right before Jarum put her forefinger and her thumb in her mouth to whistle for her owl, the fluttering of heavy wings could be heard against the dark night sky and a distinguished grey owl flew towards them. The large owl landed on Jarum’s outstretched forearm and he rustled his feathers as she gently removed the piece of parchment from his leg. 

“Who’s owl is this?” Hermione questioned as she lightly rubbed the bottom of the owl’s chin with the back of her middle finger. 

“This is Zeus; Jaia’s owl.” 

Hermione’s eyebrows lifted in surprise, “Your sister knows Greek mythology?”

Jarum shrugged as she began to take the small ribbon off the parchment, “I guess. I don’t know, she reads a lot, like you.” 

Jarum felt something stab at her heart as read Jaia’s short letter. It was only four words, but those four words would haunt Jarum’s dreams for the entire school year. Jaia’s handwriting looked sloppy, which was odd because her sister’s handwriting was never sloppy. Which could only mean that Jaia had rushed to get the letter to her. 

“Jarum you look like you’ve gone sick, what’s wrong?” Hermione’s voice barely registered in her ears. 

  
Jarum didn’t say anything, her words were caught in her throat. She simply flipped the letter towards Hermione so she could read those damned words herself: _Beware of ‘Alastor Moody’._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter and like I said several times before, I'm so excited for writing this year.


	20. a Fox, a Wolf, and a Deer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jarum receives another letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter would have been out like three days ago but my wifi was out the entire weekend and I couldn't edit, so that sucked. Anyways, thank you all so much for reading and commenting, it really keeps me motivated. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

There was something wrong with Jaia’s mind. It felt as if the inner workings of her brain were malfunctioning on purpose. It started off small and unrecognizable, as if a tiny bug had crawled into her brain unnoticeably. And it had kept growing and growing until the flaw in her brain was practically screaming at her, its voice bounced around within the walls of her skull. When it had gotten to that point, Jaia knew she could no longer be willfully ignorant to the deficiency in her brian. 

Chunks of her memories from her sixth and seventh years at Hogwarts had suddenly gone missing, as if they weren’t even there in the first place. It felt as if they weren’t real, like Jaia wasn’t in control of herself within that time period. Which is odd considering the main reason Jaia had survived the rigors of the pureblood lifestyle she lived was because she  _ always  _ had control over herself. She rarely let herself slipup, she knew that watchful eyes were always on her, no matter what she did. It was also no coincidence that she had been in a relationship with Sterling Brooks during her sixth and seventh years at Hogwarts, a relationship she hardly remembered, even though it wasn’t that long ago. 

And suddenly Marcus’ far fetched theories about Jaia being cursed didn’t seem crazy anymore.

Jaia glanced at the high ceiling of her room, it held a glass mirror that looked down on her at all times. “Fuck,” she whispered to herself as she frantically searched for a cigarette in her drawers, she knew it was the only thing that would bring her any sense of relief. 

She needed to calm down, she was acting like the scared little girl she always tried to hide behind this character she had created for herself ages ago. Jaia had unintentionally slipped out of her protective shell, she had been stripped bare. 

Jaia gripped the edge of her dresser so hard that it nearly turned her knuckles pale. Her curls fell over into her eyes as she struggled to take deep breaths, which had now become difficult because it felt as if something were blocking her lungs, and she knew it wasn’t because of her relentless smoking habit. Jaia's eyes became locked onto the expensive wood of her floor as she desperately tried not to look up into one of the several mirrors in her room that suddenly felt invasive and made her feel like nails were digging into her skin. 

She couldn’t take it anymore, she no longer wanted to be tormented and mocked by the shallow glass structures that surrounded her. “ _ Bombarda Maxima, _ ” she muttered and the sound of shattering glass was the most melodious song that her ears had ever been blessed with. Every mirror in her room had shattered to thousands of pieces and the corners of her lips quirked up. She felt absolved from the weight of looking perfect all the time. She was no longer a slave to her reflection. 

Jaia heard her door open and close and she half expected her mother’s shrill voice to pierce her eardrums, lecturing her about the mess she had made. Instead the timbre of Marcus’ low, baritone voice smoothly broke the sound of the silence in her ears, “Jaia, are you okay?” 

“No,” she mumbled. If anyone else had asked her if she was okay, she would have lied straight through her teeth, but she could never lie to Marcus, not willingly. There was just something about him that made Jaia feel as if she  _ had _ to be a better person when he was around. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked as he stepped over the shattered mirror pieces, not caring that the glass was puncturing the bottom of his foot and he wrapped his strong arms around her waist. That was one thing about Marcus, he always cared about how she was feeling as a person. She wasn’t just a pretty face to him. He took the brunt of the craziness that came with her as a part of her overall package. 

All her life, Jaia had managed to hate every single person who she crossed paths with. She hated her father, her mother, she had even hated Jarum at one point. But she had never hated Marcus. And when she got like this, when she was deprived of all her protective layers, she hated everyone in the world except him. 

Jaia would never get used to the sensation of him holding her, even though she had known him her whole life. “I can’t seem to remember what happened... when I was with,” Jaia paused, the name put a foul taste in her mouth, “Brooks. It’s like all the memories felt fake.” she said as she closed her eyes, grateful for the fact that she no longer had a mirror that would mock all of her flaws. 

She could feel Marcus’ jaw harden against the crown of her head in anger. “I fucking knew it,” he expressed bitterly, “I knew bastard had done something fucked up. He was always a fucking prat.” 

Marcus began to step away from her, and Jaia felt the warmth in her heart slip away. She pulled him back into her, she needed to be reassured that what she was feeling was real and that it wasn’t her mind playing so fucked up kind of trick on her. 

“Where’re you going?” She asked as soon as Marcus was back in her arms, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat pounded against her ear. Cinnamon and cedar wood rushed into her nostrils. 

“We need to write a letter to Jarum, about this whole situation Jaia. She can help us with this because Brooks is now a teacher’s assistant at Hogwarts.” 

Jaia forced herself to step away from him as one of her hands came up to rub soothing circles around her temples, a clear sign of stress. She was surprised that she didn’t have grey hairs at the age of nineteen. Also, her sister didn’t need to carry any more weighted anxiety and paranoia around and she certainly did not need a cryptic letter, not after Jaia had already sent her one. 

A few weeks prior, Jaia had been stalking boredly around her house when she had overhead her mother whispering frantically to Lucius Malfoy that Alastor Moody was not who he said he was and that he had successfully infiltrated the school using a large batch of polyjuice potion. 

Jaia’s mind instantly connected the dots and she had hurriedly scribbled out a letter to Jarum, not giving a shit about her penmanship for once, before her mother could even realize that she had eavesdropped on her. 

Jaia hoped and prayed to nameless deities that her letter had knocked some sense of control into Jarum and if it didn't, her little sister was completely and utterly fucked. But that was one thing both sisters had in common, they both lacked control, Jaia was just infinitely times better at hiding it. 

As she started back into Marcus’ light green eyes, she knew that Jarum would be willing to help them, her sister had this nasty habit of letting people use her, Jaia would have been stupid not to notice. But if they were not careful about keeping this entire ordeal a secret, then their pureblood names would be dragged through mud by all of the newspapers in the Wizarding World. And quite frankly, Jaia was tired of making consistent appearances in those pointless, gossipy tabloids. 

“No, no. You are not going to be sending anything to Jarum and that’s  _ final _ . Do not argue with me on this,” Jaia said firmly, her voice was unwavering and cut sharply through the air. 

“Why not?” Marcus asked, undeterred by her sharp tone. 

Can an immovable force halt an unstoppable object? 

One thing Jaia loved about Marcus was that he didn’t back down from her like everyone else did. He wasn’t afraid of her, he wasn’t scared to be cut by her rough, unsmooth edges. He was the immovable force that challenged her unstoppable object. Unfortunately, this quality led to quite a few arguments between them. Jaia realized that the rest of the house was dead silent, as if it were preparing itself to be shaken by the two lovers quarreling. 

Jaia’s nostrils flared as she felt the mirror shards rumble beneath her. She had spent nearly five long years studying and perfecting the art of wordless magic, and sometimes her control slipped, especially when she was angry or when she was around Marcus. Control was a non existent idea when it came to Marcus. 

“Because I already sent her a letter, a warning about one of her teachers. And she definitely doesn’t need another one. Besides, if we get caught trying to figure this shit out, all the consequences will fall on her. My mother will punish me by punishing her and  _ you  _ of all people should know that. I’m  _ tired  _ of seeing Jarum get fucked over by my actions, and you should be too. Fuck Marcus, I swear you never think things through,” Jaia exasperated angrily, her emotions were beginning to get the better of her. Only Marcus could pull this amount of emotion out of her. Damn him. 

Marcus stepped closer to her and Jaia gazed up at him, refusing to step away from him, they were now face to face. Jaia could see the small flecks of hazel that dotted his green irises. He moved a piece of curly hair out of her eyes, “I think you still think you need to shield Jarum from the rest of the world.” 

“Of course I do.” Jaia replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. 

“She’s already been exposed to it Jaia. Even the grand shadow that you cast over her isn’t enough to protect her from seeing the world as it truly is. We both know that, we’ve both seen the unhealed werewolf scratches on her back and we’ve both seen the way she looks at that Granger girl. She’s already seen the ugly in the world and she’s going to continue to see the ugly in the world,” Marcus replied softly and his large hand came up to cup her face gently. Jaia had to physically stop herself from revelling in the warmth of his hand against her cold skin, after all, they were still arguing. 

The sole reason Jaia had begged and pleaded for her mother to homeschool Jarum for the first two years of her education was so that her little sister did not have to see just how fucked the world is. She wanted the light to remain in Jarum’s eyes for just a little longer. What Jaia did not realize back then was that the light had long faded from her sister’s eyes, it had been switched off the moment she got her scar. 

Jaia knew Marcus was right. She had rushed in to protect Jarum when it was already too late. And she was desperate to find out what exactly Brooks did to her and why, she always needed an explanation for everything. She knew Jarum was more careful now and that she wouldn’t get caught, Jarum might not have been book smart or observant, but she was strangely intelligent and sneaky. It’s why she was so good at stealing. 

Jaia kissed the inside of Marcus’ wrist and he smiled down at her. “You’re right, Jarum can help us. It’s just I don’t want all of this to fall on her shoulders, we need to do research ourselves as well.” 

Marcus nodded and a shit eating grin came across his face. “I can’t believe you actually admitted that I’m right. Who are you and what have you done with Jaia Crange?” he said jokingly. 

Jaia playfully pushed his shoulder, “You are insufferable.” 

“You love it,” he replied softly and he leaned down to kiss her. When his lips softly pressed against hers, Jaia realized it was the realest thing she’d ever felt in her life. 

***

When Jarum was a toddler, her father used to tell her this story, about a fox, a wolf, and a deer. The premise of the story was that the wolf and the fox both gave the deer an ultimatum, that it had to go with one of them or else they would slaughter it where it stood. Her father had told her story dozens of times, and each time he changed the ending. But, the ending of the story had no effect on how Jarum interpreted the story, because no matter what, the deer was always running into the arms of a predator, it was always being hunted. 

Jarum had always been the deer. 

Her mother was the sly, persuasive fox. 

Her father had been the charming, yet aggressive wolf. 

But now, after receiving two separate letters from both Marcus and Jaia, she realized that she now had a different fox and wolf and she was still a deer, even the supposed safest place in the world. 

Alastor Moody and Sterling Brooks. 

Jarum looked over Marcus’ letter over and over again as his owl perched on her shoulder, looking at her expectantly, with wide and inquisitive eyes. 

_ Dear Jarum,  _

_ While it is no secret that something is seriously wrong with Sterling Brooks, Jaia now believes that he did something awful to her mind and that he has sinister intentions when it comes to you. It would be beneficial if you and Draco somehow got detention with him on purpose so you could find out useful information. Jaia and I are also going to be doing our own research. Take care of yourself and do not trust a word that comes out of his filthy mouth.  _

_ Love,  _

_ Marcus Atticus Flint _

Jarum breathed out heavily through her nose as she shooed Marcus’ owl off her shoulder. She already knew that Brooks had a personality that was akin to a fucking demon sent from the firery depths of Hades, but Marcus’ letter had made that seemingly fairytale concept materialize into something tangible and real. 

“Blood is thicker than water,” she muttered to herself the words that had been burned into her core memories. 

Draco plopped down next to her in the Great Hall and he took a piece of food off her plate and popped it into his mouth before noticing her solemn expression. He nudged her, but before he could ask her what was wrong, Jarum shakily shoved the letter into his hands, much like how she had shoved her sister’s letter into Hermione’s hands. 

Jarum put one arm on top of the other and put her head down. She’d been walking on eggshells around Moody, cautiously making all the right decisions and never allowing her eyes to stray towards Hermione during class, lest that he, or anyone else might notice. And now she was a part of some elaborate plot to expose the inner workings of Sterling Brooks’ ominous mind, so much for a normal year. 

Draco scooted closer to her and leaned his head down next to hers. “So it’s true then, that Jaia left Marcus for Brooks. It seemed out of character for her, considering she can be a little bit of cunt to everyone else except for Marcus.” 

Jarum made a noncommittal grunt of agreement, she had picked her head up so her chin was resting on her arms. “That’s why we have to get detention with him, we could probably try and check his wand to see his recent and commonly used spells if we get him distracted enough. Any ideas?” she asked, immediately wanting to plot the demise of Brooks. 

As Draco mulled over her question, Jarum’s eyes scanned the people in the Great Hall who were currently eating lunch or lazily studying. Her neck twitched as the feeling of being watched under a perverted gaze sent sickening chills down her body. She looked over at the teacher’s table where Moody was staring at her through his glass eyeball. His tongue swiped up at the corner of his mouth before he took a long drink from his flask. It made Jarum feel fucking sick and trapped, like she were some sort of helpless animal. 

She tore her eyes away from him and focused on the brown wood of the table, which began to look more and more like Hermione’s eyes the longer she stared at it. For fuck’s sake, there were about a thousand different problems that she had to fix and the  _ only _ thing her mind could generate was what Hermione’s eyes looked like. Or how her hair looked on certain days of the week or the way the corners of her eyes crinkled whenever she smiled or the way her breath always seemed to hitch right before she laughed. It was peculiar that Jarum had begun to notice all those things about Hermione, because she wasn’t an observant person. But when it came to Hermione things were different. 

They always were. 

Draco flicked the side of her ear and she glared at him sharply as he whispered, “I think I have an idea for us to get detention.” 

“Oh well I am just in total suspense waiting to hear your brilliant plan Draco,” Jarum snarked while she rubbed the spot on her ear that Draco had rudely flicked. 

“We stage a fake argument in the middle of charms class, I mean a really terrible argument so that Brooks will have no choice but to give us detention. The only downside is that it has to be in a few months because Flitwick won’t let Brooks teach the class independently right now, but later in the term he will.” 

Jarum pinched the bridge of her nose, she really needed a fucking cigarette. “A fake argument has got to be one of the most dramatic things you’ve ever come up with. But I’m not complaining, it’ll most likely work.” 

Draco nodded at her before he looked around the room awkwardly, making sure no one was paying attention to the two of them. “I see you sometimes, I see the way you try not to look at her in Defense Against the Dark Arts. You get this tick in your jaw and you practically force yourself to stare at your hands whenever you want to look at her. You also fidget a lot when you feel yourself begin to look at her.” 

Jarum felt her heart drop, had she really been that obvious? All this time she had spent so much energy into reprogramming her brain to be more careful and to have more self control, only for Draco of all fucking people, to notice. 

As if reading her mind, he continued speaking, his whispers mixed in with the other conversations taking place inside the Great Hall. “Don’t worry, it’s definitely not obvious or anything. The only reason I notice is because I observe people, we both know that.” 

Jarum wanted to ask Draco if he ever noticed Hermione looking at her, but it would mean that she’d have to admit that she felt something for Hermione that went deeper than basic attraction. It was pointless to ask anyways, there was no way that Hermione ever looked at her. 

Instead she leaned her head in Draco’s upper arm, sighing as she did so. “Does Harry ever look at you?” she asked. This was not an ideal conversation for the two of them to be having in such a public space, but they had fallen back into their old, comfortable dynamic and Jarum was clinging onto it for dear life. 

Draco chuckled and some of his grown out blonde hair mixed with her brown curly hair. “Well sometimes I feel his stupid green eyes and those stupid glasses burning holes into the side of my face,” he sighed heavily, “But most of the times it’s looks of hatred, I think. But hey, it's better than nothing I suppose.” 

The left side of Jarum’s mouth quirked up slightly in amusement at Draco’s words. It was comical to listen to her best friend repeatedly call his crush, that he’s no doubt had for years, stupid. 

The sound of Draco’s droning voice became a distant hum in her ears as she caught sight of Hermione Granger entering the Great Hall with a few girls that Jarum didn’t recognize. All it took was one look at the Gryffindor girl and almost instantly, all of the paranoiac thoughts about being caught between a wolf and a fox ceased to exist in her mind. Hermione Granger consumed every single synapse in her brain and she encompassed all the thoughts of Jarum being hunted by vile people. 

In that moment as she looked at Hermione’s soft features from afar, Jarum let herself be ignorant to the problems they were festering in the back of her mind. 

Draco must’ve sensed that she was no longer listening to him, because the sound of his voice stopped ringing against the background of her brain. He leaned closer to Jarum and broke her out of her Hermione induced stupor. “You know,” he began quietly, “Not that I think you would care but, Hermione looks at you too sometimes, when she thinks no one else is looking.” 

Jarum glanced over at Draco and reality seeped back in, her moment of ignorant bliss was gone. Draco was lying through his teeth, because Hermione would never look at her, not when she didn’t have to. 

“You’re right I don’t care,” she lied through gritted teeth. “And you shouldn’t senselessly lie to me Draco, I know Granger doesn’t look at me.” 

Draco sloppily ran his fingers through his hair and laughed humorlessly, “For Merlin’s sake Jarum, I don’t know why you believe everyone is lying to you all the time.” 

Jarum fingered the lighter in her pocket as she had the sudden urge to set herself on fire. Her body ran cold as the urge wrapped itself around her body like a boa constrictor devouring its food. “Because Draco all anyone has ever done to me is lie.” 

Draco looked at her and his lip curled slightly before he rested his head back on the table top. Jarum briefly glanced at his hair, which formed a platinum blonde curtain around his face, before she turned her head to look back over at the professor’s table. 

Jarum always revelled in the small power that she had whenever she stared at people. Something about her intense gaze made the average person refuse to stare back at her. However, a rarity would occur where someone would meet her stare and hold it, until  _ she _ was the one who looked away. Hermione Granger was one of those rarities, her mother was another one, and Jaia was the last of the people who could hold her gaze. 

Unfortunately another person had been added to her short list of anomalies. As she stared at Moody, he looked right back at her, and Jarum had never looked away quicker. 

***

“Cold Granger?” Jarum asked her as she shivered against the cold blanket of air. 

Hermione shivered once more and wrapped her arms around her torso. It was unusually cold on the Astronomy Tower and Hermione was desperate for any sensation of warmth. Jarum’s eyes looked at her questioningly and it made all the gears in her brain come to a screeching halt. Those damn eyes. 

Hermione’s teeth chattered loudly, “Obviously. I’m freezing my ass off out here Crange.” 

Jarum whistled lowly as that fucking dimpled, movie star smile invaded her features. “Such crude language Granger,” she said in a tone that conveyed that she was joking. “It’s a bit out of character honestly.” 

A smart retort died on the tip of Hermione’s tongue as the fluorescent moonlight streaked across Jarum’s face. She looked as if she were the sole daughter of the goddess Aphrodite as the silver lighting highlighted her angular jawline and amplified the line of her scar. 

Hermione coughed lightly and subconsciously stepped closer to Jarum. “Yea well the cold just makes me more bitter I guess,” she mumbled. 

The soft crescendo of Jarum’s laugh landed gently in Hermione’s eardrums as the Slytherin girl stepped closer to her so that they were face to face, their breaths mingling together. Even though this position that they were in was becoming quite familiar, Hermione  _ knew  _ that she would never ever get accustomed to it. 

Jarum’s cold hands wordlessly grabbed Hermione’s, fixed them in a cup shape and put them over her mouth and she breathed warm air into Hermione’s hands. Hermione felt all of the oxygen leave her lungs as the cold feeling of Jarum’s hands juxtaposed the warmth that was spreading through her body. The heat she felt wasn’t caused by Jarum’s breath. 

The moment ended when Jarum pulled her hands away from her mouth. Electricity was prominent in the air as the two of them stared at each other for a moment. Those eyes would inevitably be her cause of death, because they seemed to pierce through her soul in a way that nothing else ever had. Jarum half smiled and crinkles that rested in the corner of her mouth deepened. “Are you warm now Granger?” she whispered as the air whipped around them. 

Hermione nodded gingerly. “Yes,” she answered, though the rest of her words caught in her throat. There was so much she wanted to say to her in that moment. 

Jarum stepped back from her and Hermione felt cold again. It was odd, because even though Jarum’s skin was cold, she made Hermione feel warm. 

Jarum began to search her pockets for a cigarette and Hermione felt the urge to roll her eyes. She was so damn dependent on those things and Hermione hated it, she wanted Jarum to need her more than she needed cigarettes, but that was impossible. Before Jarum could locate a loose cig in her pocket, Hermione spoke up, asking her a question that had been on her mind ever since that night in the owlery barn.

“What do you think your sister meant, when she sent that letter?”

Jarum froze as a thick line of tension ran through her body, her fingers stopped twitching and she looked paranoid. “I don’t know, but I really don’t want to talk about right now. Maybe later, but I enjoy it when our talks don’t involve sinister topics,” Jarum paused quickly glancing at Hermione, she looked hesitant to speak her next words, “Our conversations out here instill a sense of peace in me.” 

Hermione nodded as a stupid smile came across her face, it was comforting to know that she made this girl, who felt so angry all the time, feel a sense of inner peace. It made Hermione feel as if she were special to Jarum, even though she knew she wasn’t. 

“Okay,” Hermione answered while looking up at Jarum who seemed appreciative of the fact that she had let the topic go, for now. 

“Do you think it’s midnight yet?” Jarum asked, smoothly changing the subject. 

Hermione looked up at the positioning of the moon, which had shifted to the very apex of the sky and was shining down on them as if it were trying to prove something to the sun. “It’s possible, yes. Why?” 

“Because I wanted to be the first one to wish you a happy birthday Granger, obviously.” 

Hermione turned away from Jarum as her cheeks turned a light pink color. She had been so caught up in a whirlwind of school and constantly worrying her mind with unnecessary thoughts, that her birthday had creeped up on her without warning. 

Hermione scoffed, but fondness was evident in her eyes as she looked back at Jarum. “You always want to be first at everything don't you?” 

“I’m a competitive person Granger. But I guess I’ll be the first one to say it. Happy birthday Hermione.”

Hermione’s heartbeat quickened inside her chest as something bloomed from within her. It was rare that Jarum used her first name, but when she did it made Hermione’s world stop spinning on its axis. 

At Hermione’s silence, Jarum nervously rubbed her hand over the back of her neck. “Sorry I didn’t get you anything, I’m kind of shit at giving gifts. Fuck now I feel like shi -“ 

Hermione cut her off with a small chuckle, “Jarum it’s okay. I don’t really like receiving gifts unless they’re books, so you’re fine.” 

Jarum’s face fell for a split second, but Hermione saw it, she noticed everything about her. Jarum looked up at the moon and the small smile was back on her face again and it looked as though the wheels in her brain had started turning. “What if I brought the moon down to you as a present? There’s got to be some sort of spell for that.”

Hermione let out a small sound of laughter at Jarum’s words, it reminded her of one of her favorite films of all time. 

Jarum looked over at her, confused by her amusement. “Something funny?” she asked with a hint of teasing in her voice. 

“It’s just that there’s this film I like, called  _ It’s a Wonderful Life _ , and in the movie, the main character says that he’ll throw a lasso around the moon for this girl and bring it down to earth for her. What you said kind of reminded me of that scene.” 

Jarum’s brow furrowed in contemplation and Hermione had never seen a more endearing sight. Her brow relaxed as her dimple pierced her cheek. “Well then,” she said, her smile growing wider and wider with every word, “I guess I’ll have to find a pretty big lasso then.” 

Though Hermione knew Jarum was joking, her hands quivered with all of the feelings that had built up inside of her over the past year for Jarum Crange. Hermione  _ knew  _ deep down that the pureblood girl would never even consider her as an option. Girls like Daphne Greengrass were the type of girls who were good enough for her, not girls like Hermione. 

Despite all of that, she made a small promise to herself. As she looked at Jarum’s wind blown hair and dimpled smile that could make the whole world fall in love with her, Hermione promised herself that she would bring the moon to Jarum Crange. No matter what. 

***

Jarum didn’t dream often, but when she did, she often believed that it was the universe trying to tell her something. 

So in the darkness of night, when her mind began to dream the outline of an unfamiliar name, Jarum’s eyes snapped open as she wondered what the fuck the universe was trying to tell her. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trust me, writing this slowburn is just as painful for me but I promise it's going to be worth it. The scene that Hermione references to is one of my favorite movie scenes of all time so I thought it would be nice to put it in this story. Thank you guys so much for reading!


	21. Shotgun Smoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a filler but not really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The gayest chapter I've ever written.

Hermione had become aware of a brutal pattern that was consistently repeated in both life and literature. The motif was that pretty people often hide ugly things behind their good looks and charm. Their attractive smiles cast a shadow over all of the ugliness. It was an odd, yet common contrast. The beauty of a person always blinded everyone else to the hideousness that bubbled just beneath the surface. Hermione was now witnessing this pattern once again, it was occurring to the only person she studied more than books. 

There was something ugly inside of Jarum, Hermione could almost feel it, like secondhand smoke. Something had changed behind her eyes, her golden irises looked dull, as if they were tarnished pieces of jewelry. But Hermione knew that whatever parasitical ugliness that had infected Jarum wasn’t voluntary. 

Jarum was a lot more complicated than the average person. Many people only saw her anger, or her outer layers. But that was the problem with everyone, they don’t care to look past the hard walls of a person. They were content with staring at the glass mirror, not caring to see what lurked behind it. Hermione was different though, she had peeled back enough of Jarum’s layers to know that she would not be intentionally ugly on the inside. And even though they often joked about hereditary evilness, Hermione had a feeling that she had inherited the ugliness that resided in her. 

Hermione checked the watch that sat heavily on her wrist and sighed as she realized that Jarum was most likely going to be late. Like always. 

It had taken a few weeks, but Hermione had finally found a place where she could hold the S.P.E.W. club meetings uninterrupted. The abandoned Clock Tower was one of the few places that was frequently unpatrolled by prefects and teachers, making it the ideal place for undisturbed gatherings. Hermione had briefly considered the Astronomy Tower, but that was her and Jarum’s place and bringing anyone else up there would feel completely wrong and perverted. 

Suddenly the light chattering that was filling the air, ceased almost instantaneously. It was as if someone had sucked all of the noise out of the room with a vacuum. Hermione had never been in a completely silent room with this many people. It was so quiet that Hermione could hear the faint sound of blood that rushed between her ears. But she could probably make an educated guess as to why the room had suddenly grown noiseless. There were only two people who she knew that had the ability to make people stop and stare, like they were dumbfounded. And one of them didn’t even attend Hogwarts anymore. 

Jarum walked across the room to Hermione, ignoring the stares of everyone else as she strode past them. Although she looked unbothered, Hermione could tell she was uncomfortable. Jarum hated when large groups of people stared at her. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun, her soft strands of baby hairs twined around the back of her neck. She was adorning an oversized quidditch sweater and a silk pair of pajama shorts that barely covered her upper thighs and emphasized her long legs. Hermione let her eyes discreetly run over her exposed legs before meeting her eyes, which didn’t shine as bright as they normally did, but they still had that same effect on her. 

Jarum cleared her throat, “Well it feels like I just ran the gauntlet,” she said to Hermione while the stares of the other girls pounded mercilessly against her back. 

“You're late,” she replied. And that was the only thing she could say, anything else refused to leave her mouth. 

Jarum smirked but it didn't reach her eyes, “Actually I'm right on time. You Gryffindors just like to be annoyingly early to everything.” 

Hermione peaked at her watch and realized that Jarum was right, she was exactly on time. She looked past Jarum and at the other members of the club, who were still looking at Jarum with extreme glances of disdain. She grimaced lightly and looked back at Jarum, this wasn't going to end well. “You need to be on your best behavior today, most of the people here aren’t that fond of you.” 

“I have no idea why, I’m fucking delightful,” Jarum muttered sarcastically. “Plus,” she continued, a wide grin stretching across her face, Hermione could tell that it wasn’t a real smile, because her dimples didn’t deepen in her cheeks, “I’m always nice.” 

Hermione glared at her with a sharp look, “I’m serious Jarum, I don’t want you to get into a physical fight with anyone here.” 

“Fine I’ll be nice,” Jarum’s eyes softened and for the smallest of moments a bit of color returned to them before they went dull again. “I pinky promise.” she held out her pinky and smiled again That smile told a million lies. 

Hermione couldn't help but allow a tiny feeling of happiness spread through her, at least Jarum was trying, and that’s what mattered.. Hermione linked her pinky around Jarum’s outstretched one and smiled up at her. As she looked into Jarum’ dulled eyes, Hermione saw something behind them. Something that would prove her theory about internal ugliness right. But before she could decipher it, their moment was broken. 

“Hi,” a voice sounded to the right of them, instantly making their pinkies disconnect. “I’m Luna Lovegood.” 

“Um, hi Luna,” Jarum responded, it seemed as if she were physically restraining herself from making a rude comment. “I’m Jarum.” 

“I know who you are. You always have so many nargles around your head.” 

Jarum let out a long exhale of air and Hermione’s eyes shifted to her, wordlessly warning her to be nice. When Jarum caught Hermione’s look, her shoulders sagged lightly and another fake smile painted its way across her face. “Why don’t you, uh, tell me more about these nargles Luna.” 

Luna beamed at her excitedly and she grabbed her sleeve gently and began to drag her towards the semi circle that had been formed by the other girls in the club. Jarum muttered something under her breath, but neither Hermione nor Luna heard it. 

Ginny wandered over to her, with an amused smirk on her face. “The other girls are acting as if You-Know-Who himself has just walked in. I mean Crange, really Hermione? Of all people. I know you think she’s attrac –“ 

Hermione was quick to interrupt her, “That’s not why I asked her to sign up.” Ginny raised an eyebrow at her, as if she were expecting her to explain. Hermione blew a stream of air out through her mouth, a mannerism she had picked up from Jarum. “Look I can’t really get into it, but she’s actually a really good person. She’s just misunderstood.” 

“Yea that's what they all say,” Ginny muttered under her breath. Hermione’s eyes flicked over to Jarum who was still talking to Luna and even though she could tell the expression plastered on her face was fake, it seemed to be getting less forced by the minute. 

Ginny was also looking upon the scene with a bitter expression, Hermione made a mental note to ask her about that later. The way Ginny was looking at Jarum and Luna reminded Hermione of the way she used to look at Jarum and Draco before she came out. 

Hermione walked over to the semi circle and sat down directly across from Jarum. Whenever Hermione looked into Jarum’s eyes, which reminded her of the sun, she felt like Icarus, flying freely. But then remembered how her feelings would never be reciprocated and her wax wings would quickly melt, leaving her empty. 

Jarum had yet to look away from Hermione from across the circle, she was always so determined to win their little game. Hermione could almost feel the palpable electricity that connected their eyes. It was addicting. 

“Honestly why the fuck is Crange here? I didn’t know death eaters did charity work all of a sudden,” Alicia Spinnet, a girl from the Gryffindor house, voiced angrily. 

A small shot panic pricked the back of Hermione’s mind, Jarum was so easily provoked and she had yet to get a tighter grip on her anger. Jarum’s eyes went from nonchalant to furious in seconds, but she took a brief look at Hermione and sighed deeply, as if composing herself and remembering her promise. “I’m just here because I thought the club would be a good idea alright. No need to be hostile.” 

Alicia chucked humorlessly, “You and your sister are the two most egotistical, narcissistic, and hostile bitches I’ve met.” 

Jarum smirked that fucking smirk, and in that moment she looked so much like Jaia. And Hermione realized that Jarum had two smirks, one she used around her and the other she used when she was about to rip someone apart from the inside out. The one she used around her was a lot more relaxed and nonchalant. 

“And how exactly do you know so much about my sister and I? Considering I’ve never even talked to you a day in my life.” Alicia, along with everyone else was silent, it was so quiet that even the smallest of noises were amplified tenfold. Jarum surveyed everyone in the room with a cutting glance, everyone except for Hermione. “See that’s thing, you all preach about house prejudice, but the second a Slytherin walks past you, you all turn your noses up, which makes all of you a bunch of hippocrates. And you have these little fan clubs where you guys talk shit about me and my sister, even though you’ve never actually held a conversation with us, it’s kind of flattering honestly.” She finished angrily. 

Jarum’s eyes had never looked so dull as her stare shifted from sharp to unfocused. 

Luna patted Jarum on the back comfortingly, while Jaurm didn’t acknowledge the gestur, but she didn’t knock Luna’s hand away either. Ginny looked as if she were seconds away from murdering the Slytherin girl on the spot. Sensing the awkward amount of tension in the room, Hermione cleared her throat, “Jarum is not the person you guys think she is, nor is her sister, who's actually kind of nice…sometimes. So no more interrogating her about why she’s here. Got it?” Hermione finished with a raised eyebrow, daring someone to argue with her. 

Jarum looked at her, her too and bottom lips were parted slightly in poorly hidden surprise. Hermione smirked, another habit she had picked up from being around Jarum too long, and mouthed the words, ‘I got you.’ 

Jarum smiled genuinely for the first time that day and ducked her head down almost shyly, which was odd because she wasn’t a shy person. 

Hermione clasped her hands together and focused on leading the meeting, “Right, now that that's out of the way, we can concentrate on the meeting. So since this is the first official gathering, I just thought I should hand out the badges that we wear to spread awareness and maybe we can do some ice breakers, so that the future meetings don’t have to be a war zone.” 

“And what icebreakers do you propose Hermione?” Ginny asked from beside her. 

Before she could answer, Angelina Johnson spoke up, “Don't worry, I've got the perfect ice breaker for us right here.” She held up a small, round container, it almost looked like a compact mirror, but the inside was larger and more hollow. 

“Is that marijuana?” Jarum asked, while beginning to search her pockets for a lighter. Hermione knew she always had one on her, thanks to her terrible habit of stealing them. She was becoming quite the kleptomaniac. 

“Yea,” Angelina responded kindly. “I got it from the twins earlier today.” 

Normally, Hermione would protest against the use of recreational drugs, especially because Jarum was in the room and she already had enough issues with her smoking habits. But, she didn’t want her club to fail and marijuana was known to make people relax, so she let it slide, just this once. 

Angelina leaned closer to Jarum and handed her the unlit joint. “You can do the honors, consider it an apology for my dorm mate’s behavior,” she said while smiling gently at Jarum who looked genuinely touched by Angelina’s gesture. There must be some sort of code amongst smokers that Hermione didn't understand. Because it made zero sense as to why Jarum would be moved by Aneglina’s act of kindness. It was just a fucking joint. 

Jarum put the joint between her lips and made the dying orange flame of the lighter dance around the end of the small, drug filled tube. The end of the joint swelled orange, like a soft wave of fire was consuming it. And Hermione’s eyes trickled down to the bone in Jarum’s jaw that became more defined as she inhaled the smoke into her mouth and then exhaled it in a gentle fog. 

Hermione didn’t necessarily play into the stereotype where she found smoking and drugs attractive. But, Jarum Crange was an anomaly. She could make anything look beautiful. Hermione had seen it up close. Jarum made sadness and anger look like emotions of true and utter beauty. But most of all she made pain look beautiful. And Pain wasn’t supposed to be beautiful, it was supposed to be this hideous demon that took everything and gave nothing. Yet, Jarum made it look like the most beautiful thing in the world. 

The joint had been passed around several times and had made its way to Hermione’s part of the circle. Ginny held it out to her in a silent offer and in Hermione’s clear hesitation, Jarum’s voice pierced through the quietness of the room. “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to Granger, no one here should pressure you.” 

Hermione looked up at Jarum, whose eyes were red rimmed and her eyelids sat lower in their sockets. Hermione could tell she wasn’t high though, Jarum was still sitting up straight and her head wasn’t rolling over like most of the other girls in the room. Hermione met her dulled, yet burning gaze with equal intensity. While looking directly at Jarum she brought the joint up to her lips, ignoring the pungent smell, she inhaled the smoke before quickly exhaling. A heavy cough followed her exhale and Hermione heard several groans. 

“Good job Granger,” one of the girls whined. “You just wasted a hit.” 

“Can you fuck off,” Jarum responded lowly. “It’s clearly her first time doing this and maybe she needs a little help.” 

Hermione didn’t have time to ask what Jarum meant because she was already moving across the circle towards her. Jarum lazily climbed into Hermione’s lap and her thighs gently bracketed Hermione’s hips. She could feel the cold from the rest of Jarum’s body seeping into her skin. 

Jarum grabbed the joint from her with one hand and cupped her face with the other. Her pinky rested softly on the crown of her head while her thumb resided under her chin. Her hold was gentle even though Jarum wasn’t a gentle person. The scent of cigarettes on her was still unwavering, but Hermione no longer minded. It was her favorite smell now. 

The cold touch of Jarum’s fingers on her face set her entire body alight and it felt as if gentle firecrackers had been placed upon the surface of her body, making her feel fiery tingles. Her heartbeat began to quicken, as if it were sprinting in some sort of race. 

Her touch wasn’t the thing Hermione was focused on at that moment, in the position they were in, she could see  _ every single detail _ on Jarum’s face. Details she hadn’t noticed before. She had a tiny, nearly invisible scar on the right side of her upper lip. It was discolored compared to the rest of her skin. Jarum had a single mole under her left eye and one of her eyebrows was slightly more bushier than the other. Hermione saw everything that Jarum would have considered a flaw, and decided in her mind that she was the most perfect person in the whole world. 

Hermione looked at her lips as she spoke to her, “Now when I take a hit of this and exhale it into your mouth, I want you to inhale the smoke and hold it. Resist the urge to cough and then after a few seconds, exhale it gently and slowly. Okay?” 

Hermione nodded because her brain couldn’t conjure up any words. Jarum took a hit from the joint and leaned closer to Hermione as she held the smoke in her mouth. Her thumb moved up to her lower lip and pulled it down slightly. In that moment Hermione knew that she was completely and utterly fucked. 

She closed her eyes and focused on the intense feeling burning within her, she’d probably never feel this way in her life. Not like this. Jarum exhaled the smoke into her mouth and Hermione could tell their lips were only inches apart. She breathed in the thick smoke through her mouth and held it there for a couple of seconds. The urge to cough scratched in the back of her throat, but Hermione resisted it for a few more seconds before she exhaled the smoke back into Jarum’s direction, who was looking down at her with an unrecognizable expression on her face. 

Jarum still hadn’t leaned away and Hermione looked deeply into her eyes, which had lost their luster. As Hermione stared, she tried to see into Jarum’s soul, she tried to see what involuntary ugliness she was hiding within her. Hermione saw two things; an indecipherable gleam twinkled in Jarum’s pupils as if it wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place. The second thing she saw was suffering. Pure, unadulterated suffering lingered heavily in Jarum’s eyes and Hermione cursed herself for not seeing it sooner. 

Jarum half heartedly smirked, that special smirk that was reserved just for her. “Good job Granger,” she whispered softly before climbing off Hermione’s lap. The cold she felt from Jarum’s body was gone and so was the warmth her touch provided, she felt disgustingly lukewarm. 

Jarum returned to her previous position in the circle, ignoring the curious stares from the other girls. When Hermione passed the joint off, everyone else forgot the encounter that had just happened between them. 

Jarum must’ve known that Hermione saw something she wasn’t supposed to see within her eyes, because she didn’t look at her for the rest of the night. 

***

Stupid. 

That’s what she was. 

She was stupid. 

Jarum should've had more self control, especially when it came to Hermione. But, marijuana was known for lowering inhibitions and the drug made her forget about the constant issues that lingered within her mind. It made her forget about the name that was beginning to haunt her dreams, it made her forget about the Jaia situation. It made her feel free, like she was floating carelessly above the rest of the earth. And it made her brain’s sole focus be Hermione fucking Granger. 

When she had breathed the smoke into her mouth, she had been hyper aware of everything Hermione did. The slight way her lips were parted, the way her eyes had searched for every single detail on Jarum’s face. She also noticed the way Hermione  _ saw  _ something in her, something she was meant to keep hidden. 

Yup, Jarum was definitely fucking stupid. 

Ever since she was a child, Jarum had been trained to suffer in silence. Everytime she would whine or cry, or show any outward signs of vulnerability, her mothers long, sharp nails would dig harshly into the back of her neck. ‘Pretty girls don’t cry. You want to be pretty, like Jaia, don't you?’ Most of her mothers words had been seared into her memory for eternity and that wasn’t a good thing. And the lessons had always stuck with her, no matter how hard she tried to forget them. Which is why she was rarely ever vulnerable, and if she was, it was a mistake. 

It’s why Jarum kept everything inside, except her anger, because at least in her household, her anger had been praised. But apparently she wasn’t that good at hiding her emotions, Jaia always told her that she was so easy to read because of her eyes. And as Hermione looked so deeply into her eyes last night, she saw  _ everything _ . 

Jarum knew she saw it too, Hermione was too smart and too aware to not see everything she hid behind her eyes. 

Jarum sighed heavily and walked briskly in the hallways. She really needed a cigarette, she hadn’t talked to Hermione since she shotgunned smoke into her mouth last night and it was weighing heavily on her mind, along with everything else. 

“Oi! Crange!” Jarum turned around at the sound of her last name echoing off the walls. Ginny Weasley was jogging slightly through the tsunami of the students to catch up to her. “Merlin your legs are so fucking long, you walk too fast.” Ginny said, panting slightly once she caught up to her. 

Jarum raised an eyebrow, she really wanted to be alone. “Can I help you?” she asked while readjusting her bag over her shoulder. 

Ginny smirked slightly, “Last night was quite eventful wasn’t it. You somehow managed to remove the stick out of Hermione’s ass.” 

Jarum rolled her and eyes and began to walk away from Ginny, “Fuck off Weasley.” 

“Fuck, okay wait Crange, I need your help with something.” 

Jarum stopped again and huffed, clearly Ginny wasn’t going to leave her alone like most people in this situation would. “Don't you have a whole plethora of siblings? Ask them for help. I'm busy.” Jarum wasn’t busy, in fact she didn’t have any more classes for the rest of the day. 

“This is different, okay.” 

Jarum sighed heavily, “Fine, what do you need my help with?” 

Ginny looked around the hallway to make sure no one was listening. “I need help,” she mumbled. “I need help on how to talk to Luna Lovegood.” 

Jarum snorted as a bark of laughter tickled at the back of her throat. “That’s really what you chased me down through a crowded hallway for? I don’t know just fucking talk to her, she’s kind of easy to hold a conversation with.” 

“I try it’s just everytime I talk to her I end up feeling stupid or afraid that I’m going to say the wrong thing,” Ginny replied, looking incredibly flustered as uneven patches of blush spread across her face like a wildfire. 

Jarum’s brow furrowed in confusion, “Why? Do you fancy her or something?” 

Ginny avoided her eyes and looked at the ceiling. At her actions Jarum let out a chuckle, “No fucking way. This is just golden.” 

“Fuck off okay, it’s just complicated. Also I need your help with quidditch.” 

“The fuck do you need my help for? You have two brothers who play the exact same position as me.” 

Ginny’s gaze gauged her expression and for a moment Jarum felt uncomfortable, she hated the feeling of being watched too closely. Ginny sighed and shook her head, “Look just help me okay, I really want to make the team next year and Fred and George are too busy playing pranks or fighting over Angelina.” 

Jarum sighed heavily and pinched the middle of her forehead, this whole conversation was giving her a migraine and for the first time she realized that she found someone more frustrating than Hermione. “Fine. I’ll help you, but bring your own broom and don’t be late.” 

Ginny beamed at her, “Maybe you’re not so bad Crange.” she said excitedly before turning on her heel and walking away in the other direction. Jarum revelled in the fact that she was alone once again. Even though most of the time she hated being surrounded by the blanket of loneliness, sometimes it was nice to be by herself. Her thoughts were never kind to her, but if she tried really hard she could drown them out and be content with the fact that no one wanted to bother her. 

Her feet carried her to the long and abandoned hallway that was lined on both sides with trophy cases. She had been avoiding this hallway ever since she came to Hogwarts, for one very specific reason. 

She stopped in front of the Slytherin trophy case, her father’s large picture blended with her reflection, making them look as if they were one person. She really did look exactly like him didn’t she? Everyone was right. Below his smiling picture it read:  _ Bradford Crange, attended Hogwarts from 1964-1971. He was considered one of the best beaters, regardless of house, in Hogwarts History.  _

Jarum clenched her fingers into tight fists and she left crescent moon shapes on the side of her palms, the pain had zero effect on the abatement of her anger. She began to wonder how many house points she would lose if she swung her beater’s bat through the glass and destroyed the trophy case. However when her anger reached a boiling point and threatened to spill over, the glass frame that held her father’s picture cracked slightly, and it was barely noticeable, but Jarum noticed. The small fissure in the glass was right on her father’s face, making it look like he had a scar. 

The irony. 

Jarum’s lip began to quiver as she tried to hold all her emotions in, her eyes finally broke away from her father’s face and she realized that coming here was the worst idea she’s had in years. 

The sound of footsteps echoed hesitantly behind her, Jarum didn’t even have to turn around to know who it was. Why did Hermione always do this? Why did she care about her so much? She wasn’t worth caring about. “Stalking me again Granger?” 

Hermione’s heavy sigh reverbeted in the hollow walls of the hallway. “I used Harry’s map to come and find you.” 

“Of course you did.” 

“Look I saw something in your eyes last night and we both know that something is going on inside your head. So just talk to me, you don’t always have to hold your emotions in all the time,” Hermione exasperated, she looked desperate almost. 

Oh if only she knew what else she was holding in. Jarum’s life was going to simply fly and she would most likely never get the chance to tell Hermione how she felt about her, not that it mattered anyways. 

Jarum’s teeth clamped down on her bottom lip so hard that it nearly drew blood, the pain didn’t help. She shook her head and swallowed a heavy lump in her throat as she pushed everything back down inside her, “No, you wouldn’t understand.” 

“So then help me understand,” Hermione replied without missing a beat. 

It was beginning to hurt, keeping her emotions in hurt. Jarum let out a shaky sigh. “I cut my hair because my dad loved that part about me and I thought that if I cut it then I would no longer be haunted by the memory of him. But it didn’t work, it’s like I can still feel part of him inside of me, making me suffer. Like a fucking parasite.” 

Jarum looked away from Hermione as she finished, if their eyes met then it would be too much for her. She would start saying things that were  _ necessary  _ to keep hidden. 

Hermione mulled over her words and then spoke carefully, yet firmly, “You’re not like him. You don’t look like him. You don’t walk and talk like him. You’re not him, and you never will be.” 

Jarum let out a watery chuckle that held no humor in it, “How do you know? You’ve never even met him.” Hermione’s words meant something to her though, they had pierced through her hard outer shell and landed softly in her heart. 

Jarum still refused to look at Hermione but she had a feeling the other girl was smiling softly at her. “Because I know you Jarum. That’s why I always defend you when people say that you’re just an evil death eater, because I  _ know _ that you’ll never be like that.” 

The words hit Jarum’s soul deeply, no one had ever told her she wasn’t like her father. In fact, everyone always told her how similar she and her father were. And yet here Hermione Granger was, telling her she wasn’t like him, even though she had never met him. She would always be different when it came to anyone else. 

Jarum felt her lips curve into a half smile, “Thanks Granger, for that. And for last night.” 

Hermione grinned, “It’s no problem.” And for the first time since last night Jarum looked at her, and she felt so relieved in that moment, all the bad thoughts went away. The only thing she could think of in her brain was Hermione. “Besides,” she continued in an upbeat tone, “Your suffering will end soon, I know it will.” 

And though neither of them knew it at the time, that was the biggest lie Hermione ever told. 

***

The name that had been haunting Jarum began to take shape. It was a short name that stabbed in corners of her brain. 

The first letter of the godforsaken name was M, and the second letter was beginning to take shape in the back of her mind. 

And Jarum shot up in her bed quickly as the letter materialized firmly in her mind, what if all this time she had been worried about the wrong side of her family tree? What if her father’s side of her family wasn’t the issue? 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the tension between them is really high right now, but just be patient, it's coming soon, I promise.


	22. Wolf In Sheep's Clothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> don't overlook any part of this chapter lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The most recent WandaVision episode destroyed me, anyways I hope all of you enjoy this chapter!

Jarum craved the cold feeling of nothingness. 

She chased it, as if it were some sort of grand prize, although she knew that she would never grasp it in her hands. But that didn’t matter, because she truly believed that being numb to everything and everyone around her was the ultimate reward in life. 

Maybe that’s why she adored cigarettes and quidditch so much, they made her feel numb on the inside and outside. Most of the time quidditch made her body feel deprived of sensation, especially in her arms and legs. And it would take days to recover from the soreness brought upon by the intense sport. While cigarettes, relaxed her mind to the point where she didn’t feel anything for a while; however, neither of those things were enough to make her feel completely and utterly numb. Which is what she was so desperately chasing after. 

Unfortunately, like most things in Jarum’s life, numbness was always just out of reach. 

It was one of the areas she  _ truly _ envied Jaia in. Because she knew that at least one point in her life, Jaia had been completely numb to everything. Her mind and body had been cold and unfeeling to whatever environment she was in, that’s what Jarum envied about her. She wasn’t jealous of her looks, or her smarts, or the way she was desired by everyone on the fucking planet. Sure, maybe it left a shallow hole inside of her soul that she would never measure up to the person her sister is. But she really  _ coveted  _ the way her sister had once been able to feel nothing. 

Lucky bitch. 

Jarum exhaled the fog of smoke gently from her mouth as her shoulders sagged, while she adjusted her seating on her broom, sometimes the wood from the handle dug uncomfortably into her tailbone. She was floating several hundred feet in the air, smoking a cigarette, whilst waiting for Ginny to arrive. She was very reluctant to fulfill their agreement, she didn’t nearly have enough patience to teach people things. The sky was a smoky gray color and as she exhaled more smoke from between her lips, she discerned that the toxic vapor emitting from her mouth matched the hue of the heavens above her. 

Jarum took another heavy drag from her cigarette, desperately trying to clutch onto the feeling of numbness that the toxins from within the cigarette gave her. It wasn’t working, her tolerance to the numbing poison had grown tremendously over the past the few months. 

Jarum sighed angry and flicked the still lit cigarette towards the ground, not caring if it hit someone, or set something on fire. She liked to watch the dancing flames consume everything in their path anyways, it was one of the few things she considered to be more hypnotizing than the moon itself. “Cheap pieces of shit,” she muttered to herself. 

“Crange!” she heard her last name being shouted below her, “stop mysteriously brooding and get down here!” 

Jarum rolled her eyes and angled her broom down towards Ginny, who was undoubtedly the person that had called her name. Her feet touched the ground and Jarum readjusted her beater’s bat and broom so that they were in the same hand, her fingers tightened subconsciously around the items as she walked closer to Ginny. 

“I don’t brood Weasley.” 

“Yes you do. And did you just drop a fucking cigarette on me?” Ginny questioned sharply as soon as Jarum was in her vicinity. 

Jarum chuckled to herself at Ginny’s anger, “It wasn’t intentional Weasley. Anyways, do you have everything you need?” 

Ginny held up her own broom, the wood was splintering, rotting, and soft. The bristles on it were split into singular hairs and they were absolutely filthy. A snarky reply was on the very apex of her tongue, but as Ginny grinned at her excitedly, Jarum couldn’t find it in her to make a vicious remark. 

Merlin, she was going soft. All thanks to Hermione, who constantly made Jarum feel like a better person. 

“You can’t ride on that Weasley, you’ll most likely break it. Here you can use my old one.” Over the summer, Jarum had purchased two, top of the line, and expensive brooms. A Nimbus 2001 and a Firebolt. She mainly used the Firebolt, and got the Nimbus as a backup, in case something tragic happened to her primary broom, again. But Ginny was less fortunate than her and she could always just purchase a new one, it’s not like it would make a dent in her family’s fortune. 

She stuck her hand out and muttered, “ _ Accio Nimbus _ .” Within seconds the smooth wood of the broom smacked against her hand. She turned to Ginny and wordlessly handed her the broomstick. 

A shocked expression was painted across Ginny’s face, as if she had just witnessed some sort of miracle. “Did you just perform wandless magic?” 

Confusion entered Jarum’s mind, all she did was summon a broom, it wasn’t that big of a deal. She shrugged, “No I just summoned my old broom, which I am now giving to you.” 

“Yea but you did it without a wand.” 

Jarum shrugged nonchalantly, “And?” 

“Jarum wandless magic is extremely advanced and you're only a fourth year. It takes people years to study, and even then it’s difficult to perform casually.” Ginny stated, she seemed adamant about convincing Jarum that she was some sort of special witch. Which wasn’t true, there wasn’t a damn thing that was special about her. 

But truthfully, ever since the age of nine, Jarum had felt this unknown, powerful force buried within the depths of her spirit, just waiting to be unleashed. Like she had her own personal Pandora’s box. As she grew older, the force became more and more prominent and it caused certain aspects of her personality to become more and more uncontrollable. Such as the rage that always simmered beneath the surface, and it affected her overall control on everything. 

It was one of the reasons Jarum desperately craved nothingness, because if she didn’t feel the deep feelings inside of her, then control would no longer be an unreachable myth that always slipped through her fingers. 

Jarum shrugged, she was going to downplay it like how she downplayed everything in her life. “It was probably a fluke, so don’t make it a huge deal or anything.” She knew it wasn’t a fluke, she’d already performed wandless magic a multitude of times, but Ginny didn’t need to know that. 

Ginny looked at her for a few more seconds before running her fingers hastily over the broom. She was inspecting it, completely awestruck by the fact that she was now holding one of the most expensive brooms ever made. 

“Youre just giving this to me? For free?” 

Jarum felt her fingers itch towards the cheap pack of cigarettes she had pickpocketed from an older Hufflepuff student earlier that week, it had been completely full when she had stolen it, and now she had almost made her way through the entire pack. “For fuck’s sake Weasley, just take the damn thing. It’s my old broom and I don’t use it anymore. So don’t pretend like I just did some great act of charity out of the kindness of my heart. I don’t want a decent broom to sit around collecting dust.” 

Jarum turned away from Ginny and mounted her broom, breathing out heavily as she began ascending upwards towards the sky. A part of her wanted to keep going and fly through the soft cotton of the clouds and just float above everything. But she couldn’t, it wasn’t possible. 

Ginny eventually mounted her broom and flew shakily towards her. Her chest was rising and falling with deep, panicked breaths and Jarum nearly laughed out loud at the amusing sight. The red headed girl glared at her sharply, “I’m glad you find my whole predicament hilarious Crange, and why do you even have your beater's bat? I thought we were just going over the basics today?” 

Jarum smirked almost cruelly as she gripped her bat tightly. The amount of calluses that had formed on the inner palm of her hand had rapidly increased ever since she started playing quidditch. “Well if you’re going to be a chaser, you have to be able to know how to dodge bludgers.” 

Ginny’s murky brown eyes widened almost comically and right then and there, Jarum came to the conclusion that the only brown eyes she liked were Hermione’s. Ginny’s eyes briefly reminded her of fresh mud that formed after a rainy day. “Are you fucking serious Crange?!”

A wild bludger whipped past their heads, nearly taking Jarum’s head off. The wind whipped harshly in her eardrums and for a small moment, Jarum heard a faint ringing noise in the inner part of her ear. “Obviously Weasley. I had Marcus Flint as a quidditch mentor, it’s not exactly something I take lightly.” 

As the bludger circled back toward them, Jarum raised her bat as the constant soreness in her arms made an appearance. “I would advise you to start flying Weasley.” 

Ginny gripped the handle of the broom so tight that her knuckles turned a nasty color of white. She looked dangerously pale as her breaths came out short and shallow. Ginny was rooted to her spot in pure paralysis, the bludger was getting closer to them and she still hadn’t flown away. 

Ginny shook her head, “I can’t, I don’t know how.” 

The bludger was hurtling towards them at full speed, and panic shook through Jarum’s body like a wave. She didn’t exactly fancy getting hit with a stray bludger…again. 

“Shit Weasley, duck!” She yelled and Ginny ducked her head low so that her eyes were nearly parallel to her broom handle. The bludger sped past Ginny’s lowered head and Jarum stuck her hands out as the iron ball slotted roughly into the cradle of her palms. The speed and pressure from the bludger caused a callous on the center of her hands to tear open. The fresh pain ripped through her arm and travelled upwards towards her wrist. 

“Fucking hell,” Jarum muttered while wrestling the bludger so that it was tucked under her armpit. 

Ginny's eyes widened at the small trickle of blood running down from her palm. “Fuck Jarum I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve never had a broom this fast or expensive and I’m not ready for advanced types of shit yet.” 

Jarum swallowed the lump of anger that was rising in her throat like bile. She suppressed her anger back down into this big ugly pit that sat in the bottom of her stomach. Everytime she repressed her fury, the mysterious power inside of her warred against the buried and intense emotions. All the constant inner conflict added to the long list of reasons why Jarum wished she was numb inside. Instead of exploding, Jarum smiled tightly at her, “It’s fine Ginny, I’ll just help you learn how to fly.” 

Yea, definitely fuck Hermione for making her a better person. The old Jarum most likely would have decked Ginny in the face, or worse, let the bludger hit her. 

Ginny grinned at her, “Okay thanks. You're not as bad as everyone thinks you are.” 

“Oh yea I’m just the best,” Jarum muttered while fishing out a cheap cigarette and putting it in between her lips. Jarum ignored the uncontrollable energy inside her as she effortlessly made the tip of her cigarette glow orange. 

Jarum didn’t need lighters, she just liked stealing them. 

***

“You could not be any more obvious Granger,” Daphne mumbled carelessly to her. Her words pushed against the otherwise silent classroom. 

Hermione’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline while her stomach dropped in nervousness, providing a sickening seesaw effect. Hermione’s eyes had been lingering to Jarum’s table every so often, watching as she bickered with Ron throughout the entire class period. The dim lighting in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom shone down on Jarum, making it look like a faint halo was surrounding her head. Jarum looked effortlessly beautiful, she always did.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Greengrass,” Hermione replied while focusing her attention back on her text book, which she was reading closely. 

Daphne’s lip pulled back to reveal a set of perfect white teeth, she looked like a shark and her smile was the textbook definition of perfect. Hermione couldn’t look at the blonde girl in all her flawlessness, it was only going to make her more insecure. And Hermione already had enough insecurities buried within her mind. 

“Oh come on,” Daphne whispered directly into Hermione’s ear, her cool breath set a cold, contrasting chill amongst the warm surface of Hermione’s skin. “You seriously didn’t think you were the only one who found Jarum attractive did you?” 

Hermione clenched her jaw in poorly restrained anger. She gripped her quill tightly as she tried to ignore the self destructive thoughts that were entering her brain. “Who says I was looking at Jarum?” she countered quickly, though she knew her sharp tongue was no match for Daphne’s. 

Daphne smirked at her, “Don’t play stupid Granger, you’re far too smart for that. Besides I don’t blame you for being drawn to Jarum, she’s very attractive, you know once you get past the scar and everything.” 

Hermione knew that when most people looked at Jarum to evaluate her attractiveness, they tended to try and look past her scar, as if it would magically disappear at their request. It was so fucking stupid. Hermione knew it was impossible to see past Jarum’s scars, physical or emotional, they were a part of her for a reason. Hermione never tried to see past them, she just saw her for who she was. 

Hermione sighed heavily, she didn’t want to listen to Daphne talk about Jarum as if she were some sort of object. “That’s nice Daphne, but I’m sure there's more to Jarum than how pretty she is.” 

“Oh yes there is a lot more to her, have you ever wondered what it’s like to kiss her?” Daphne asked, a slightly taunting tone was evident in her voice. 

“No,” Hermione lied through gritted teeth. She hadn’t stopped thinking about kissing Jarum ever since the day she met her. Even when the other girl was a complete dick to her, she still thought about it. Every second of the everyday her thoughts were consumed with the image of kissing Jarum. Hermione couldn't act on it though, because Jarum didn’t want her, not like that. 

“That’s a shame, because her lips are really soft.” 

Every single muscle in Hermione’s body froze as the words registered in her ears. Daphne and Jarum kissed. Daphne Greengrass and  _ Jarum fucking Crange  _ kissed, on the lips. Jealousy burned through every single cell in her body. It felt like a cigarette butt had been placed on her body and was scorching through her pale skin as envy reared its ugly head. 

It wasn’t fair that someone like Daphne, who tried to look past everything that Jarum was and create this false image in her mind that Jarum was this fake, un flawed person, got to kiss her. It wasn’t fair that Hermione saw  _ everything  _ Jarum was, good and bad, and yet she had to settle for being her friend. It wasn’t fair. 

If Daphne noticed the way Hermione’s body had tensed up into jealousy, she didn’t comment on it. Hermione clenched her jaw as she looked away from Daphne’s stupid green eyes. Jarum must’ve lied when she said she liked Hermione’s eyes, because her eyes were so lackluster and boring compared to Daphne’s. 

Hermione’s knuckles grew sore and pale as she gripped her quill tighter, “Good for you Daphne.” There was so much more she wanted to say, but she didn’t, there was no point. 

The low, alto sound of the bell signaled the end of class and Hermione shot out of her seat and rushed over to the door. She needed to get away from everyone. Her desperate plan was foiled as she bumped into a lithe, yet strong body on her way out. The strong scent of cigarette smoke and vanilla body spray rushed into her nostrils, Jarum’s natural smell was the most intoxicating perfume. 

She could tell Jarum was looking down at her with those fucking eyes, that always seemed to trap her soul within those golden irises. But for the first time in a long time, Hermione avoided her gaze, because she couldn’t allow herself to fall any deeper into that trap. She ducked her head down and simply walked around Jarum. Her scent was still seared into her nose. 

It felt as if she were on autopilot as the scenery of Hogwarts rushed by her and her aching feet carried themselves to the Gryffindor common room and a sick feeling began to settle in Hermione’s stomach, it felt like she had been poisoned. Her mind was torturing her with the vivid image of Daphne and Jarum kissing, it was maddening. How was it possible that a single person could drive her mad?

“Hermione,” her head snapped up and her eyes latched onto Harry, who was the person that had said her name. “Are you okay?” he asked. The sound of the ever burning, crackling fire filled the air as she stared at him for a minuscule moment. 

There was no point in lying, she was terrible at it anyways. “No,” she muttered softly. 

“Well what’s wrong?” 

It felt like Hermione was swallowing glass as the words caught in her throat. “Daphne and Jarum kissed.”

“Okay and? Why does that bother you, you said it was just a stupid crush.”

A sigh of frustration left Hermione’s lips, “Harry we both know I was lying when I said that. My feelings for her aren’t just generic. She makes me feel things that I didn’t even think were possible.” 

Harry nodded, taking in her words. “Well,” he breathed out while tilting his head, “You could always just tell her how you feel.” 

Hermione nearly wanted to laugh at his suggestion, telling Jarum how she felt wasn’t an option. Rejection was this hideous monster that haunted Hermione’s daydreams and nightmares. It wasn’t something she wanted to have to ever face, which is why she  _ always _ played things safe and followed the rules. 

Hermione shook her head, “That’s not an option for me Harry. Besides, Jarum can kiss whoever she likes.” Her thoughts contradicted her words, she didn’t want Jarum to kiss, or even worse, snog anyone else. 

“Then you’re going to be stuck in this ever flowing wave of misery, Hermione, and you’re going to tear yourself apart from the inside out because Jarum is always going to be just out of reach if you don’t tell her,” he said firmly. Hermione knew he was trying to get through to her, but it was no use. Once Hermione had her mind made up about something, it was hard to convince her otherwise. 

“If Jarum felt the same way about me, she’d tell me. She’s told me lots of things unprovoked and she trusts me, so there isn’t any possible way that she feels that way about me. I keep falling in love with this false idea that I've created in my head and everytime I’m brought back to reality it hurts more and more.” Hermione explained as she fought back her tears and forced herself not to cry. 

Harry looked at her for a moment, as if he understood exactly what she was going through. “I know how you feel Mione.” 

She could tell he didn’t want to talk about it any further, so she didn’t say anything. But she had a hunch that he was referring to Draco Malfoy. Harry wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into him. He didn't smell like Jarum, but Hermione found herself being comforted by his scent, he was her best friend after all. 

It’s funny how Hermione used to think that Daphne was the nicest one out of all the Slytherin students that followed Jarum and Draco as if they were world class celebrities. She had never called Hermione, anyone else a slur, she never physically bullied other students or pushed them around. But now Hermione began to realize that Daphne liked to play mind games, she had this horrifying talent of being to pick apart someone’s deepest insecurity, like a vulture, and it was almost like she can see past directly past whatever facade a person was putting up. 

And because of that Daphne Greengrass was a fucking wolf in sheep’s clothing. 

***

Jarum liked to sit in this very specific spot at the Slytherin table, it always gave her a direct view of Hermione Granger. And for a while, Hermione had sat in a certain spot at the Gryffindor table so that the two of them would be facing each other. But now, Hermione had moved from her usual seat and she’s sitting with her back facing Jarum. 

First it was purposely avoiding her eyes at the end of class and now this, what the fuck? 

Jarum felt something stab at her, she must’ve fucked something up. She always did, she always fucked up everything good in her life. Or maybe finally Hermione realized that Jarum wasn’t good for her and that she’d be better off without her. 

Either way, not looking into her eyes physically hurt her. 

Daphne’s face clouded her vision as the other girl slid into the seat across from her while Draco plopped down next to her. Pansy and Blaise were nowhere to be found, so it was just the three of them sitting in an isolated part of the grand Slytherin table. 

“I think I might’ve upset Granger today in Defense Against the Dark Arts class,” Daphne said with a gentle smirk on her face, almost like she was proud of herself. 

Draco’s eyes turned to look at her side profile, studying her impassive features, before he asked the exact same question Jarum had been thinking, “And how’d you manage to do that?” 

“I told her that Jarum and I kissed,” she replied simply, while beginning to eat her food completely unbothered. 

“Here we go,” Draco muttered under his breath while Jarum’s eyes locked firmly onto Daphne's face. 

Her anger was getting far too big for her to suppress, as the ugly pit in her stomach grew into this indigestible object. It was bubbling back towards the surface. “You did what?” she questioned quietly, yet her tone was venomous. 

Daphne continued eating her food, undeterred by Jarum’s tone and anger, “It’s not like she’s going to tell anyone.” Daphne cocked her head to the side and blinked slowly at Jarum, “Besides, I don’t understand why you would care, unless you feel something for her.” 

Other than Jaia and her mother, Daphne was the best manipulator she knew. The way she manipulated people’s emotions and effortlessly destroyed her prey from the inside out without batting a fucking eyelash was remarkable. And quite frankly it was scary. Daphne could probably get away with murder if she wanted to. 

Jarum wasn’t going to fall into her web of traps, “I don’t know what kind of mind games you’re trying to play Daphne, but I’m not a fan of them.” 

“I’m not playing any mind games Jarum. Even if I was, how could you possibly know? You’re not the observant type, that’s painfully obvious.” Daphne spat back, her pearly white teeth glistened against the dark lighting in the Great Hall. 

Jarum knew that everyone had an ulterior motive. Growing up around her mother and Jaia had provided her with the undeniable fact that people did everything for a reason and that no action was pointless. So Daphne must have a reason for acting like this, because she normally wasn’t a malicious or vindictive person, not towards Jarum anyways. 

Jarum took a deep breath and pushed everything back down, not caring about the raging forces inside her. “Fine, whatever. It’s not like I care that you told her.” she lied. She hoped that Daphne wouldn’t pick up on the fact that she was a terrible liar, but she knew that Draco would. 

She glanced at Daphne, and for a split second, she saw a flash of disappointment dance behind her eyes. Jarum raised an eyebrow in confusion, people were too fucking complicated and taking time to analyze them, or observe their petty movements made her head spin, and not in a good way. 

Daphne stood up, clearly bored with Draco and Jarum’s significant lack of conversation. “I’m going to find Blaise and Pansy, hopefully they’re smoking,” she announced to them before walking out of the Great Hall. 

Draco turned to her as soon as Daphne left, “Have you gone temporarily insane Jarum?” 

“The fuck are you on about?” 

“Granger, it’s clear that you like her. Is that who you sneak off with in the middle of the night when you think no one notices?” 

Jarum bit her tongue, hoping the pain would make her a better liar, but she knew it wouldn’t. She breathed out heavily, “Yes, I have feelings for her. I’ve felt a certain way about her for a really long time.” 

Draco ran one hand through his hair worriedly while the other began to search his pockets for a loose cigarette. “It’s official. You’ve gone mad, completely off the rails. I mean you have girls like Daphne and even Pansy,  _ throwing  _ themselves at you, and you focus on Granger, really, out of all fucking people?” 

Jarum shook her head in disagreement, though deep down she knew Draco had a point. She knew it would be so much easier to focus on being with Daphne. Because at least Daphne was a pureblood girl who actually wanted her. 

But Jarum didn’t want easy. 

Nor did she want Daphne or any other pretty, or another other vapid, pureblood girl. 

She wanted Hermione. 

“When I look into Hermione’s eyes, it feels like I’m stargazing,” Jarum stated briefly. She feared that if she began to list all the reasons why she liked Hermione, she wouldn’t stop until hours later. She had compiled this long file of things that she adored about Hermione in her brain. It was miles long. It ranged from the way she laughed, to the way her hair looked on certain days of the week, to the way her smile looked in specific lighting. So, instead of listing all those things, Jarum settled for a simple sentence that managed to convey just exactly how she felt about Hermione Granger. 

Draco’s gray eyes widened as he looked at her incredulously. But he knew she wasn’t lying, for he was aware of the fact that Jarum was a terrible liar. “Wow,” he whispered softly, even though Dumbledore had begun to spew out unimportant information for the fifth time that week. “You're fucked.” 

Life would never ever get tired of fucking her over would it?

“Yea,” Jarum replied as a bitter smile came across her face. “I know.” 

Draco looked hesitant as he rested his heavy head on her shoulder, and if they weren’t best friends, Jarum would’ve shoved his head off of her. “If it makes you feel any better, I have feelings for Harry.” 

Jarum’s bitter smile turned genuine at Draco’s confession, at least they were no longer hiding things from each other. “I know Draco.” 

He lifted his head off her arm and looked at her, surprised, “How did you know?” 

Jarum shrugged, “It was obvious to me. You’re extra mean to him for no reason, plus he’s all you talk about most of the time. It wasn’t that hard to put the pieces together.” 

Draco sighed dramatically, “I hate you and everyone else in this damned school.” 

Jarum snorted as laughter tickled the back of her throat, “I bet you don’t hate Potter though.” 

“Oh I especially hate him.” 

Jarum laughed lowly at Draco’s theatrics and it nearly made her forget how Hermione didn’t want anything to do with her anymore. Jarum should’ve been used to this pattern by now, she should’ve been used to the way most people left her once they decided she wasn’t worth the trouble. And honestly, if it would have been literally anyone else, Jarum wouldn’t have cared. 

But since it was Hermione, it was painful. 

Jarum opened her mouth to reply, when suddenly the doors to the Great Hall were thrown open, they banged loudly against the walls as a group of unfamiliar men swaggered confidently into the room. “And now let’s welcome the fine gentlemen from Durmstrang!” Dumbledore declared loudly. 

Maybe Jarum should have been paying more attention to what the Headmaster was saying because she had no fucking idea what was going on. A man with a medium length salt and pepper goatee walked past her tables and his eyes lingered on her. He looked familiar, like Jarum had maybe seen him in a picture somewhere. His black eyes stared at her intensely and with an air of familiarity, almost as if he knew her. 

How did so many people she’s never even breathed the same air as know who she was? It was unsettling and it made her feel like a considerable amount of people knew her better than she knew herself. Which made absolutely zero sense because Jarum had been sheltered her entire life, like a caged animal, until last year, when her mother had finally let her attend Hogwarts. 

It made absolutely zero sense. Were her mother and father  _ that  _ notorious? 

Dumbledore’s voice pierced through the air again, “And now let’s welcome the lovely ladies from Beauxbatons!” 

The doors to the Great Hall opened once more and a group of graceful, nubile young women pranced through the open doors. It was safe to say that nearly everyone in the room was entranced by the girls from the forge in school, everyone except for Jarum. She was still staring longingly at the back of Hermione’s head. 

As the girls passed by their table, Draco nudged her, “Enjoying yourself Jarum?” he asked teasingly. 

“Fuck off Draco.” 

Luckily when the Headmistress walked past her, the abnormally large woman didn’t spare her a second glance. “Wait,” Jarum began as Dumbldore began leading the school through some ridiculous song. “Does this mean quidditch is canceled?” 

“Yes, obviously.” 

“Fuck,” Jarum groaned loudly, though her noise of displeasure didn’t make a dent compared to the obnoxious noises made by the rest of her classmates. 

Quidditch was the only thing she was good at, without it she was practically worthless. 

As the song finished and the foreign students began to melt in with the Hogwarts students, Jarum looked over at the professor’s table. Brooks, Moody, and the Durmstrang Headmaster were all seated next to each other. The sight made Jarum want to crawl out of her own body and sneak away to somewhere unknown and secure. 

Jarum’s intuition never failed her and right now it was telling her that everything was about to go to shit.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's just the beginning of the angst, but I hope you guys enjoyed reading this chapter!


	23. An Unfinished Sentence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sterling Brooks is the worst person on the planet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The WandaVision finale has had me crying while editing all day. Anyways, this chapter was actually really fun to write and I hope you guys enjoy it!

It was as if the essence of time had suddenly been spun backwards by a cruel, unknown deity. It felt as if they had been sent back in time and they were once again on two different sides of the same war. It was the most exhausting thing in the world to look at Hermione only for her to avoid her, or not look back at her. She felt like a drug addict going through withdrawal. 

She  _ needed  _ to see her eyes. Jarum craved the sight more than she craved cigarettes, which wasn’t new to her. She could go days without cigarettes, but she could barely even go an hour without looking into Hermione’s eyes. 

It was strange really, Jarum craved cigarettes because they made her feel numb for a while. And yet, Hermione’s eyes made her feel everything all at once. 

And every second, minute, or hour that whipped by her was pure and absolute torture, it felt as if time itself were taunting her. It was painful, and Jarum knew all too well what pain felt like. 

The transparent lighting of cerulean blue washed over Jarum in a wave that should’ve been calming, but it made her feel as if she were helplessly drowning. Her muscles froze within her body as her heartbeat involuntarily sped up at the sight of Hermione peacefully reading a book. The illumination from the Goblet of Fire flawlessly cast a shadow over Hermione’s features. She looked effortlessly beautiful; which is so rare because most of the girls Jarum knew, practically killed themselves just to look halfway pretty, including Jarum herself. 

Hermione must've known that she was staring at her because her jaw muscles worked as she gripped onto her book tighter. Hermione was putting all of her physical and mental strength into not looking at Jarum, which fucking hurt. 

Jarum’s intense staring was interrupted by the Goblet, which was the reason for the unusual lighting in the Great Hall. It’s almost as if Jarum could  _ feel _ it’s magic hitting her deeply in the middle of her chest, close to where her empty heart resided. The magic from the cup and the never ending feeling inside her chest seemed to merge together as something within her grew bigger. It made the disgusting taste of bile rise up in her throat as the need to vomit nearly encompassed all of her senses. 

She needed a damn explanation for all of this, but it was highly unlikely that she would ever find one. Jarum wasn’t smart enough to figure all of this shit out by herself and she often distracted herself by focusing on more important things, such as assisting Jaia in finding out what happened to her or helping Ginny with quidditch. Jarum’s issues were the least of her worries and priorities. In the grand scheme of things, she didn’t matter, so it was pointless to try and hastily unravel her complications 

“Do you have a cig? Or are you too busy staring at Granger like a kicked puppy to take a smoke break?” Draco asked while he began to pat down her robe pockets, he was trying to find the pack of cigarettes that Jarum always kept on her. It had become an unspoken agreement between all of her friends that Jarum would just simply steal packs of cigarettes and they would all mooch off of her so they didn’t have to buy any. They were the most pompous and rich, yet cheap people she’d ever encountered. 

“Fuck off Draco,” she muttered in slight irritation. The hard wood of the isolated bench they were sitting on dug into Jarum’s lower thighs. 

She swatted his hands away, and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her bra. Due to her messy reputation, it was becoming more and more frequent for prefects to stop her in the middle of the hall and ask her to empty her pockets so that they could make sure she didn’t have any contraband on her. She figured hiding her stolen lighters and cigarettes in her bra would prevent her from getting caught and losing house points. 

She held the pack out the Draco, offering him one, but he scrunched his nose up in mock disgust. “I’m not sure I want a cigarette that came from your tits.” 

Jarum rolled her eyes and put one between her lips, loving the way the material brushed against her tongue. “Oh please,” she said while checking the Hall for nosy teachers or pretentious prefects. “We both know that if either of us were straight, you’d practically be on your knees  _ begging _ me for a chance.” 

While Draco looked away from her for a split second, Jarum wordlessly and wandlessly lit her cigarette with the fire making charm. The tip glowed a deep reddish-orange and it reminded Jarum of the sunsets, and how the daily occurrence of the sun dying made the world look as if everything were on fire. 

Draco looked back to her and scoffed as he snatched the pack out of her hands, desperate for a cigarette as well. “Says who?” 

“If I recall correctly, you did kiss me last year, and you weren’t forced to do it either,” Jarum countered back quickly. 

“Yea and that kiss made me realize that I wasn’t into girls,” Draco shot back without missing a beat, smirking at her as he reached into his own pocket to fish out a lighter. 

“Fucking cunt,” Jarum mumbled, but a small smile was evident on her face. 

Jarum glanced back over at Hermione who was still reading her book, seemingly lost in the pleasures of her own world. The other girl’s nose twitched slightly and Jarum knew that the scent of her cigarette smoke had snaked over into Hermione’s nose. 

It seemed that no matter how physically apart they were, something would always connect them. 

Jarum continued to watch her through the thin cloud of transparent smoke. She was trying to compel Hermione to look at her, but the other girl seemed content with resisting her intense gaze. Unfortunately Jarum wasn’t a beautiful siren that could bend the desires of a person to her will, which is why Hermione would keep on ignoring her. 

“That bloody cuntfaced wanker,” Draco spat while shooting an angry glance at a random boy who had just put his name in the Goblet of Fire. 

Jarum followed his searing gaze and her eyes landed on the same Hufflepuff that she had stolen a pack of cigarettes from last week. Jarum looked at Draco incredulously, “What’s your problem with pretty-boy?” 

Draco scowled, “Harry just looked at him as if he were some sort of Greek God.” 

“Well to be fair, he is attractive and Harry doesn’t even know you like him, so you have no right to get mad,” Jarum reasoned back. The flames of the Goblet intensified every single time Jarum glanced in its direction, there were so many unsettling things that had happened to her already, and she wasn’t even two months into the school year. 

“I want Harry to look at me like that though, with his stupid fucking green eyes and stupid hair that he grew out over the summer,” Draco began to pout as his cigarette dangled lazily between his fingers. 

“Maybe you could try being nice to him for once,” Jarum suggested. 

“We’ve been best friends for over a year, when have a I ever been fucking nice to anyone?” 

Jarum shrugged her shoulders heavily and resumed inhaling the addicting toxins. Her cigarette was nearly burned down to a tiny stick and Jarum sighed heavily, finishing cigarettes always seemed to have a psychological effect on her. Every time she finished one, the suppressed rage and uncontrollable, warring forces bubbled back up inside of her. Maybe that’s why she was so dependent on cigs, or Hermione. The Gryffindor girl also made those feelings go away, at least for a little while, but her eyes were infinite times more effective than any cigarette. 

Jarum flicked her cigarette butt on the ground and crushed it under her expensive shoe. She was surprised that the soles of her shoes hadn’t been signed by the amount of ashes she had stepped on. Jarum put the pack of cigarettes back in her bra and stood up, brushing any remaining traces of her smoke break off of her uniform. She looked at Draco expectantly, “Being in this fucking room with a bunch of stuck up prats isn’t doing us any good, let’s go.” 

Draco stood up as well, his grey eyes shifted back towards Harry before he looked back at her. As the two of them began to walk out of the Great Hall, Jarum could’ve sworn that she saw a flash of brown look her way, but she must’ve been delusional. Because she knew that Hermione had enough self control to resist looking at her. 

***

Jarum leaned her head against the rough stone of the wall outside of the Charms classroom. Her tongue rolled around the smooth,wooden toothpick as she took deep breaths, as if she were a soldier preparing themselves for the bloodiest battle in the war.

It was agreed upon by both her and Draco that she would be early to Charms class on the day that Brooks was to make his solo teaching debut for two reasons. Reason number one: it would make their fake fight seem more realistic and reason number two: there was no doubt that Jarum had the ability to raise Brooks’ anger level so that he’d be more susceptible to giving them a detention. 

Jarum closed her eyes, ignoring the permanent image of Granger’s face behind her eyelids, before walking into the empty classroom. The air felt dry and cold, which was unusual, considering Flitwick was a man who hated the cold and preferred to have his classroom as warm as possible. The second she walked into the classroom, Jarum knew that she had just stepped onto a battlefield. 

Brooks looked up from the teacher’s desk, a look of disinterest quickly morphed into a sadistic smirk. “Miss Crange, it’s a pleasure to see you here so early.” 

Jarum cocked her head to the side and blinked at him slowly, smirking right back at him, “Oh I bet it is.” 

Some wars are fought literally, some are fought with words, but most wars are fought psychologically. If a person is able to cause harm on another person’s psyche, then they have all the power in the world. 

Jarum pulled up a chair so that she was sitting directly across from Brooks, a small wooden desk was separating them. She looked into his beady blue eyes and he stared right back. Jarum glared at him intensely for a while, not a single ounce of fear was in her heart. His eyes broke away from her face and Jarum allowed the corners of her mouth to quirk upwards, she had won the first battle, but she couldn't get too excited, for she knew that several more were coming. 

He reached into his pocket and Jarum saw the glossy edge of a piece of paper, it looked like a muggle photograph. Due to his obsession with her sister, she had a hunch that the picture in his pocket might be of Jaia. She internally decided that she would steal it off of him before she exited this classroom, it might be useful. He produced a hefty cigar and held it out in front of her, he was tempting her with it, taunting her subtly to see if she would break. 

“I’ve heard about your little smoking habit, Crange, what do you say to sharing one of the most expensive cigars on the market?” 

Jarum looked at the cigar, before looking back at him. No matter how tempted she was by the object in front of her, she wouldn’t dare fall into his trap. Jarum leaned back into her chair and shrugged, “No. ”

He raised an eyebrow at her, “No?” 

“I could probably find a cigar for twice that amount and indulge myself peacefully. Also I’ve played enough mind games to recognize what you’re doing.” 

Sterling Brooks grinned at her wolfishly as he shoved the cigar back into his pocket. His eyes focused on the unscarred part of her face, “Oh Miss Crange, mind games are my favorite kind of games.” 

Jarum might not have been the smartest, but she was damn good at mind games, her skills had been honed countless times throughout her childhood and she had mastered the ability of destroying one’s mind. Jarum hunched forward and folded higher hands onto his desk. “Alright then,” she said while smirking, “let’s play.” 

“I’m assuming you’re here on Jaia’s behalf?” The way her sister’s name rolled off his tongue made unpleasant chills roll own her spine; he made her name like a hideous curse. 

Jarum shook her head. “You’re wrong.”

“Marcus?”

Jarum shook her head again and tutted, “Wrong again, honestly for a Ravenclaw, I thought you’d be smarter. I’m here on my own accord. I don’t need a gang of people to prove what you and I already know: I’m not intimidated by you.” 

Brooks’ eyes widened slightly, but Jarum caught it. And in that moment of weakness displayed by Brooks, Jarum saw a flicker of fear. “So I guess you aren’t afraid of anything then?” he mocked. 

“Oh no, I’m afraid of a lot of things,” Jarum paused, she was an apprehensive person, who was so paranoid to the fact that her own shadow scared her. She had a reason to be fearful, because deep down she knew someone was always out to get her, but most of the ime, she was scared of herself. “You just don’t happen to be one of them.” 

Brooks’ eyes were trained on the smooth wood of his desk as he remained silent. At his lack of noise, Jarum spoke up again, eager to add another fatal wound. “You know in my family, there’s this saying that goes: if you let a snake enjoy your company, it’s going to end up biting you.” They locked eyes and Jarum felt something dark stir inside her. 

“Are you threatening me?” he questioned furiously, Jarum bit her cheek in amusement, she had accomplished her goal. “Because I can promise you that it won’t end well.” 

“I’m leaving it open for interpretation, use context clues. You’re a smart  _ boy,  _ Sterling. You’ll figure it out,” she replied condescendingly. 

“You know what else they say about snakes? That they can be defanged and that they all have a weakness, a fatal flaw that will lead to their demise. So I ask you this, Jarum, who is your fatal flaw?” 

Hermione Granger. 

Jarum shook her head, and she prayed to false gods as she hoped her lying skills would not fail her. “I don’t have one.” 

Brooks grinned evilly at her and Jarum could tell that her control on this situation was slipping, she desperately needed to regain it. “Mm. I bet you’re lying. I bet there’s someone in this world who’s mere existence drives you mad.” 

Hermione Granger. 

“There isn’t a damn person in this world who has that much control over me,” she lied. Jarum glared into his eyes again, hoping to see any signs of vulnerability that she could attack. She saw the way his eyes flickered to her scar, his face paling ever so slightly before they went back to the unscarred portion of her face. 

“Maybe your weak spot isn’t a person. But it’s a feeling. You feel something deep inside of you, don’t you Jarum? Something that has been locked away like a caged animal, and you’re afraid of it. Aren’t you?”

How the fuck did he know that? 

Jarum shook her head frantically, it made no sense that he knew about something she hadn’t told anyone on this damned earth about. “You’re wrong, there isn’t a damn thing special about me and there isn’t anything locked away inside me.” A few students had begun to trickle into the room and Jarum opened her mouth, she needed to win this final battle. “I would tell Jaia you said hello, but she wants your head mounted on a wall because you can’t seem to control your creepy obsession.” 

A loose strand of blonde hair fell in front of his face, tainting his perfection. He leaned all the way across the desk in a last ditch effort to intimidate her, he was fuming, Jarum could practically see the angry smoke coming out of his ears and his eyes had nearly been completely glossed over in anger. “You're playing with fire Crange.” 

“Wouldn’t be the first time. Besides I find no shame in pyromania. ” she shot back quietly before getting up and walking to the back of the classroom where her assigned desk was. 

Jarum slumped down in her chair as she watched more and more students enter the classroom. She retreated reluctantly into her own thoughts. It made no sense that Brooks was able to describe the feeling that she felt within the depths for her soul so accurately. It made Jarum wonder,  _ just  _ how much he knew about her. If he knew more than he let on, then he was a lot more dangerous than she initially thought. 

However, she did get one thing out of her conversation with Brooks. It was becoming more and more that he wasn’t hunting her. He was hunting Jaia. How deep does his obsession with her sister run? And where did it even start? More importantly, why the fuck was he so obssesed with her? 

Jarum rubbed her temples, hoping the sensation would release the built up pressure in her cranium. All of this shit had to start somewhere, and Jarum was determined to find the long, twisted roots of this debacle. 

Brooks stood in front of the classroom, preparing to start his lesson, when suddenly Draco angrily stormed into the classroom. His eyes locked with Jarum, and a look of understanding passed between them. He walked over to Jarum’s desk and dramatically shouted, “Fuck you Crange!” 

Jarum shot out of her desk and stood up in front of him, “What the fuck is your problem Malfoy?!”

“My problem is you,” Draco said angrily while stepping closer to her. The two of them had gotten everyone’s attention in the classroom. Jarum could physically feel all of the eyes on her, it made her feel bare and invaded. 

Jarum stepped closer to Draco, they were nearly face to face. “Do you really want to go toe to toe with me Malfoy?” 

Blaise and Daphne had cautiously made their way over to both of them, it was clear that they were going to try and be peacemakers. Daphne approached Jarum and attempted to pull her away from Draco. “Come on Jarum,” she whispered to her while laying a cool hand on her upper arm, “He’s not worth getting a detention over.” 

At Daphne’s invasive touch, Jarum’s fake anger was replaced by real, all consuming rage. She turned to Daphne and roughly shoved her hand off of her arm. “Fuck off Greengrass,” she spat, with nothing but pure venom in her tone. It was Daphne’s fault that Hermione was ignoring her, all because she couldn’t keep her fucking mouth shut. 

Daphne backed away from her slowly, as if she were some sort of monster, it stung slightly, because maybe she was one. Jarum turned back to Draco, who had amusement dancing in his eyes. “Whatever your issue is with me, get over it Malfoy.” 

Brooks had  _ finally  _ come over to them and forced himself between the two of them, his arms prevented the two of them from stepping closer to each other “Both of you stop it now! I will not have the two of you behaving like animals on my first day of teaching. If you both go back to your desks and be quiet for the rest of the class, then there will be no repercussions.” 

Draco looked at her, panic evident in his eyes. He mouthed a silent ‘Do something,’ to her. So Jarum did the only possible thing that would land both of them a detention. She reached across Brooks’ body and backhanded Draco across the face. The rings on her fingers smacked against the bone of her skin as her hand made contact with Draco’s cheek. 

While Brooks turned to Draco in shock, Jarum sneakily reached into his front pocket and pulled the glossy picture out. She quickly tucked the picture into her robe pocket as he looked back at her, fury was blazing in his eyes. 

“That’s it, both of you imbeciles in the hallway, now!” 

Jarum and Draco walked out of the classroom, the wave of students parted naturally for them. And there was doubt in Jarum’s mind that rumors of their fight would spread like a wildfire. 

As soon as they were out in the hallway, Draco turned to her, his blood was smudged messily against the bone of his cheek, “You just had to slap me didn't you? You couldn’t have called me a name or something?” 

“Stop being such a baby,it worked didn’t it?,” Jarum retorted while leaning back against the wall. Seconds later Brooks came out of the classroom, his face was nearly an ugly shade of purple as the vein in his forehead popped out.

“The two of you are a fucking handful. I will be assigning both of you detention on the day of the first task for the Triwizard Tournament, as a punishment. I’m also docking 50 house points…for each of you.” He walked closer to Jarum crouched down slightly so that they were at an eye level. It was clear he was trying to assert his dominance, completely unaware of the fact that he didn’t have any, “And you Miss Crange, I suggest you watch yourself, and be extremely careful with your actions.” 

Jarum didn’t get a chance to respond, because he turned on his heel dramatically and walked back into the classroom. Jarum sighed heavily and turned to Draco, “Well, that worked perfectly.” 

“Yea all except for the fact that you slapped me across the fucking face. Merlin you’re so heavy handed” Draco complained once again, while continuing to wipe the blood away from his cheek with the sleeve of his robe. 

Jarum shrugged, “You had it coming.” 

The stolen picture weighed heavily in her robe pocket, as if it were some cursed reminder. She was about to pull it out of her pocket to inspect it, when a flash of brown hair caught her eye. 

Hermione. 

An invisible string tied to her soul was pulling her towards Hermione, who was only about twenty feet ahead of her. 

Jarum muttered a half hearted goodbye to Draco before she walked hurriedly towards Hermione, her heart was beginning to palpitate at the single idea of being close to her again. 

The signature scent of Hermione seared into nostrils. Once Jarum got close enough to her, she wrapped an arm around her waist, ignoring the way the sensation of her skin  _ burned  _ through her, and dragged her into the nearest broom closet. 

Jarum looked into Hermione’s eyes for the first time in three days, and as she stared, she realized that she wouldn’t mind falling endlessly into the bottomless abyss of those bronze irises. Something about Hermione always seemed to calm the ever raging storm inside her. 

Jarum’s hand was pressed lightly against Hermione’s hip, every second she could feel lighting bolts of electricity shock through her. Hermione could have broken out of the light touch, or smacked or hand away, but she didn’t. 

“Do you need something Jarum?” she asked while tilting her head to look up at her, their breaths mingled together as they shared the air in the small, stuffy room. 

“You’ve been avoiding me Granger.” 

Hermione swallowed, her eyes flicked downwards before looking back up at Jarum. “I’ve been organizing stuff for the S.P.E.W club, so I’ve been busy.” 

“Bullshit Granger, there haven’t been any meetings since the first one.” 

Hermione looked conflicted as her eyes conveyed a look of barely concealed hurt. And Jarum felt something pass harshly through her heart as her stomach dropped. The last person on this fucking planet that she would ever want to hurt was Hermione. And yet, somehow, she had accomplished that. Why did she always fuck everything up?

Hermione breathed out heavily and Jarum could tell she was frustrated. “I’m mad at you because you kissed Daphne and didn’t tell me. I thought we agreed to tell each other everything.” 

Jarum’s intuition was telling her that Hermione had a completely different reason for being mad at her, but she didn’t comment on it. Jarum looked deeply into Hermione’s eyes, and for a moment, it felt like she truly was gazing at the stars. 

“I didn’t tell you that I kissed Daphne because it doesn’t matter.” 

“Of course it matters, Jarum!” Hermione exclaimed, “Why wouldn’t it matter?” 

Jarum clenched her jaw, Hermione always pushed her limits. “It doesn’t matter because it wasn’t a big deal,” she replied quietly. If they continued this conversation, Jarum’s tiny ounce of self control was going to slip through her fingers, like sand. 

“Tell me why it wouldn’t matter Jarum, and don’t you dare fucking lie to me.” 

“It doesn’t matter because I didn’t want to kiss her!” Jarum shouted, her voice reverberated off the small walls in the broom closet. Her grip on Hermione’s hip tightened slightly as she tried to spit the fucking words out. Hermione’s flesh was unbearably warm, but it balanced out her freezing cold skin, it made her feel as if a fire had been lit inside of her and was burning through her. 

Jarum opened her mouth to speak, stuttering slightly. She was nearly breathless,“I want…I –,” she closed her mouth again, the three letter word was caught in her throat and she looked away from Hermione, desperately trying to hold onto her self control. 

Hermione noticed the way she was struggling to speak and her expression immediate;y softened, “Tell me what you want Jarum,” she whispered, the breath of her words hit Jarum’s lips, while leaning closer to her, they were chest to chest now, and Jarum's hand was still softly gripping Hermione’s hip. It was too intimate for people who were just friends. 

Jarum shook her head, “What I want doesn’t matter, Granger.” 

Jarum missed the dark clouds of disappointment that flickered in Hermione’s eyes. She looked away from her and nodded, her jaw was set in a hard line. “I have to go to class, I’ll see you around.” And with that, the warmth she felt from Hermione slipped away from her, and she was cold again. 

Jarum stared at the spot where Hermione’s head had just been. She couldn’t move, couldn't blink, she could barely even breathe. This was all her fault, wasn’t it?

For the past few weeks, she had begun to hate herself less and less, that mentality came crashing down in that petite broom closet. The list of ever growing reasons of why she should despite herself multiplied tenfold. She felt the ugly hatred and anger in her grow and grow. 

Maybe time had gone backwards because for the first time in a long time, she painted the wall scarlet with her fists. 

Maybe her mother was right. 

Maybe she was nothing. 

***

The second Hermione walked out of that broom closet, she immediately wanted to rush back inside and tell Jarum everything. But she didn’t, it felt as if her feet were frozen to the ground. Because even Gryffindors are afraid of intangible things, such as rejection. 

Hermione still hadn’t got the cursed image of Daphne and Jarum kissing outside of her brain, it was haunting her every waking moment. She also hadn’t washed the permanent smell of cigarettes and vanilla body spray out of her nose, so the smell of Jarum followed her around like a ghost.

Hermione sat alone in the Great Hall, she elected to choose her normal seat, so that she could face Jarum, but the other girl hadn’t shown up to dinner yet. The Goblet of Fire was burning flames of blue as it commanded the attention of everyone in the room. 

Ginny sat down next to her, a bright smile on her face. “Hey Mione,” she said cheerfully. Her joyful mood was a deep contrast to Hermione’s dark disposition. 

“Hi Gin,” Hermione quietly responded. 

“How much do you think a Nimbus 2001 costs?” Ginny asked while beginning to neatly cut her steak into small pieces. 

Hermione sighed, the  _ last  _ thing she wanted to talk about right now was quidditch brooms. “I don’t know Ginny, I’m not really into all that stuff. Why do you ask?” 

“Because Jarum gave me one,” she answered nonchalantly. 

Hermione’s fork clattered loudly on her plate as she turned to fully look at Ginny. “She did what?” 

“She said it was her old broom and she didn’t want it to go to waste.”

Over the summer, Jarum had written Hermione a letter, entailing the details of the two brand new brooms she bought. One of them was a Nimbus 2001, Jarum didn’t have an old broom, it had been broken when she nearly fell to her death in a quidditch match last year. 

Which could only mean that Jarum had given Ginny, one of the poorest students in Hogwarts, a brand new, expensive broom, without expecting anything in return. 

Guilt seeped into Hermione’s mind, like a virus, as she searched around the room, hoping to see those golden eyes staring back at her. All she could see was a bundle of curly dark brown hair, Jarum was looking down at the table so that a curtain of hair was shielding her eyes from the rest of the world. Hermione noticed a heap of bandages lazily wrapped around her right hand, and her heart dropped even further. 

She had let the parasitic disease of envy consume her so deeply, that she didn’t even take Jarum’s feelings into consideration. Deep down, she knew that Jarum didn’t want to kiss Daphne, yet she let herself believe that Jarum wanted her. Jealousy was truly a bitch. 

The Goblet of Fire had begun roaring as it began to spew out pieces of paper, selecting the champions for the Triwizard Tournament. 

Dumbledore gracefully caught the first piece between his frail fingers, “The Durmstrang champion is, Victor Krum!” 

Hermione’s eyes flicked back to Jarum, who was still looking down at her plate, completely unresponsive to everything. 

Dumbledore picked another piece of the Goblet, “The champion of Beauxbatons is Fleur Delacour!” 

Jarum was still unresponsive. Hermione’s eyebrows furrowed, she looked…paralyzed almost, but her fingers were constantly twitching. It was an odd sight and it set a line of worry in Hermione’s mind. 

“The Hogwarts Champion is Cedric Diggory!” 

A roaring amount of noise came from the Hufflepuff table, the handsome boy that Harry couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of, stood up and walked towards the front of the room. His attractive smile was stretched across his face. 

Hermione looked back at Jarum, who now seemed to be arguing with Draco over something as Dumbledore began to speak about the Triwizard Tournament and the champions that were just announced. And for once, Hermione didn’t pay attention, she was too busy looking at Jarum's injured hand. The white bandages were beginning to turn an ugly shade of red as she clenched her fist. 

The Goblet began roaring again, halting Dumbledore’s speech, every single person in the room went completely silent. The flames turned a bright color of fuchsia as another piece of paper shot out of the cup. 

Dumbledore caught it nervously and breath seemed to catch in his throat as he read the name off the paper, “Harry Potter,” he mumbled. 

Harry had gone rigid next to her. And Hermione looked at Jarum once more. 

Their eyes locked. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading, I promise it's coming, just be patient. I was so close to throwing the whole story arc put the window just to make them kiss lol. The next update will be up soon, thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> AN: So that is the first chapter, I hope you guys enjoyed it. I do not exactly know how long this story is going to be because it is a slow burn that includes multiple ships, and it is going to be from third year all the way to the end of seventh year. But Chapter 2 will be up soon, thank you for reading!


End file.
